Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. Just Ella, Adrian and other elements that you do not recognise.

AN: Hey all! You're probably angry at me for not posting in a while, I'm sorry but work has been hectic and since work pays my bills - it has to come first! I tried really hard to get two chapters written for you guys today but I'm so tired from looking at the screen and imputing data on a spreadsheet that I failed in that. However, I did get half of the second chapter written, so expect it to be posted on Monday :)

AN2: Just so you have a timescale of what is happening. Chapter 25 will be my take on the baseball scene & James etc & Chapter 27 will mark the beginning of 'Part 2' ~ Hannah

Chapter Twenty-Three – Heated Words

I'd planned a day out for Edward and I today. I had wanted things to be special as we were coming up to the first month anniversary of being together. I knew that the 'one-month anniversary' meant little to Edward and the Cullen's when they lived for so long but it meant a lot to me. This was our first milestone as a couple and I was determined to celebrate it.

If I was surprising Alice, it would have been a shopping trip to Seattle. If I had been surprising Jasper I would have organised a history themed excursion. If I had wanted to surprise Rose, we'd have had a girly sleepover and for Emmett an afternoon with the games consoles. Yet Edward, was harder to plan for. Perhaps it was because I wanted things to be perfect or because I was putting more effort into things that because the reason why it was so difficult.

It was Saturday morning and the weather was a perfect combination of a cloudy sky but a warm atmosphere. I had thought and planned many things since I first got the idea to celebrate this and had found Edward to be the most annoying person to plan for. Already I was loathing the looming Christmas holiday for the sole reason of having to buy presents for the Cullen's who already had everything.

Armed with my picnic basket I set out for our special spot in the woods. I'd asked Alice to keep Edward busy until I could set up because I didn't want him to ruin the surprise and Edward had a tendency of doing that. I suppose it came with the territory of being able to read minds. Edward wasn't very good at being kept in the dark.

I set up a couple of candles to light the clearing when the sun went to bed and I had even bought with me a wireless music player and some more old fashioned music to listen too.

Laying a blanket down on the ground I brought out some pillows and set the picnic basket off to the side. I sat and waiting, admiring the wildlife and hoping that things would be enough. I had taken special care with my outfit today and hoped Edward would approve. I was wearing pale blue skinny jeans and a lemon sorbet three-quarter length top. I was wearing my cowboy boots to complete the look.

Though I couldn't see the sun through the trees I tilted my head up towards the sky, closed my eyes and relaxed into the warmth. Sitting in complete silent afforded me the advantage of knowing when Edward had arrived. I was sure he was exaggerating his movements anyway but I was pleased to have noticed his arrival.

"You made it," I said.

"Alice did her job in keeping me busy, you know she is probably going to force you into shopping with her for the job she's done."

"It will be worth it."

"Why are we here?" he asked.

I moved, finally opening my eyes and looking at Edward. With a small smirk upon my face I took in all of the glorious creature standing before me and could help but feel how lucky I was.

"Edward, I know human nature confuses you but even you must know what a one-month anniversary is."

His face frowned slightly and he dropped down to the ground so that he was sitting next to me.

"One-month? Really? Is that generally celebrated?"

"I suppose it depends on the couple. I just thought it would be a nice thing to do."

He turned towards me, smiling this time and replied, "I think it's a wonderful idea."

"Good because otherwise I would have been disappointed."

He chuckled, his laughter sounded like warm honey cascading over my skin. I felt him relax in my presence and knew that the tension he'd felt was slowly slipping away. There was so much I wanted from this moment but I was unsure as to how I could get it. I didn't want to ruin things by acting without thinking.

"Every day you surprise me Ella."

"How?"

"How can you be with a monster like me? Every day you're with us you're in more danger. We lead a different lifestyle but what's to say one of us wouldn't crack? We're vampires Ella and most of our kind have no problem in killing innocents."

The tension was back again with force but at least I now knew what it was about.

"I've never once felt fearful while in your presence Edward or in the presence of your family. Yeah, it's true that there is a danger but danger lurks around every corner. I could no sooner be bitten by a vampire than I could be run over by a car or poisoned or murdered."

"I worry."

"I've noticed."

"I am a lion and you are a lamb, how could you willingly put yourself in this situation?"

"I've never been one for following the rules. You make my life better Edward and I wouldn't change that."

He frowned, his bottom lip pouting out as he thought through what I'd said. I had no idea where this anger was coming from or whether it had been something he'd thought long and hard about or something that had just come to mind. With Edward it was difficult to tell for he kept his feelings guarded.

"Tell me about your human life," I said.

"Why? It was so long ago that I cannot remember much."

"Please Edward, I want to know."

"I was born Edward Anthony Masen on June 20th 1901. My parents were kind and loving and I was young and carefree. I had my whole life before me and a world of opportunities. My Father, Edward Mason, was a lawyer while my Mother Elizabeth was a housewife. Father's job offered many opportunities for me when I was younger but he was away a lot so our relationship wasn't close. My Mother was the centre of my world and my first musical inspiration. I have always loved to play the piano and I enjoyed playing for Mother most of all. When the war started I had entertained the possibility of joining but I did not want to leave Mother alone and I was also not old enough to join."

"It sounds like you had a good life."

"It was a good life until 1918 and the Spanish influenza hit Chicago. Father was the first to go, he died in the first wave of the sickness. Mother held on longer, she was reluctant to leave me behind. I contracted the sickness shortly after her and the doctor looking after us was Carlisle. Mother begged him to do everything within his power to save me and as the night took her from the world of the living, Carlisle took me into the world of immortality."

"So he saved you from death?"

"Indeed though I did not thank him straightaway. You may have noticed that I struggle with what I am more than the rest of my family. I have tasted human blood, I have fallen off the wagon and hit rock bottom. I am not an innocent vegetarian vampire. There is blood on my hands and in my heart."

"What happened?"

"I rebelled against Carlisle's teaching in 1927, preferring the blood of humans to animals, I used my gift to seek out the worst of humanity and kill them for their crimes. I thought I was service justice, that it wouldn't matter that I was feeding off of them because they were the worse sought of people but I was wrong. I regretted what I had done and returned to Carlisle in 1931."

"You sound very brave."

"Or very weak depending on how you look at it. I'm not good for you Ella but I cannot stay away from you."

"Why don't you let me worry about whether you're good for me or not."

I worried about where these thoughts had come from, the fun day I'd hoped for had disappeared the moment Edward had started to talk. I couldn't understand his feelings towards himself or our relationship. How long had he had these thoughts? How long had he kept them bottled up? I suddenly felt like this was all my fault and like I had done something to cause him all this inner turmoil.

Had I been selfish by wanting to be with Edward so badly? With the Cullen's so in control, I'd never wondered about how hard it must be for Edward to be with a human. The thought had honestly never crossed my mind and now I wondered if it should have done. Should I have pursued him so when my very presence could cause him pain?

My heart had started to beat faster and I could almost feel the blood pumping through my veins. Though I tried to control what was happening to me it felt like I was fighting a losing battle and once again my thoughts turned to Edward and how he had to control himself when he was around me.

Though I was feeling selfish, I perhaps wasn't feeling as guilty as I should. I wanted to get the day back on track and I wanted to achieved what I'd sought to do today.

"Edward, do you trust me?"

"Of course."

"Close your eyes."

"Why?"

"Edward! You said you trusted me."

"Ok, ok. I'm closing my eyes."

I took a minute to appreciate his stone like pose, his closed eyes and his god like beauty. Surely Edward could hear the thumping of my heart. Surely he knew on some level what I would attempt.

I leant into him and brushed my lips across his in a feather light manner. He didn't turn away from me so I kissed him again with more firmness and more passion. Again he didn't turn me away. Getting bolder I wrapped my arms around him, one hand on his head and the other around his neck. I felt myself flushing under the passion of our kiss but I still wanted more.

My mouth made a moan as we continued to kiss each other in a frenzied manner and my hands started wandering over Edward's torso. I could feel the edge of his t-shirt within my grasp but had barely got a hand onto his cool skin before Edward had ripped himself away from me and across the forest floor, a fair distance from where I sat.

Dazed and confused, I knew I must look a sight. I could feel my lips were a little swollen and knew my hair would be a mess and my clothes rumbled. As I came out of the haze the kiss had produced, I frowned at seeing how far away Edward was.

"Why did you stop?"

Edward growled at me and suddenly I felt all the seriousness of the situation like a ton of bricks had collapsed on top of me.

"What were you thinking?!"

I was taken aback by his angered voice. Edward had never raised his voice to me or behaved in such a manner.

"I just wanted to have a kiss with my boyfriend."

"That was not a kiss Ella."

"Then what was it Edward?" I said angrily.

This was his fault; he'd made me angry by overreacting to something so simple.

"I can never lose control with you Ella, don't you understand?"

"I just wanted some physical affection, some passion. Edward we're a couple but we hardly ever touch. We hold hands in public but we hardly ever kiss. You keep so much of yourself hidden that I never know what you're feeling. I need the reassurance that you like me. I'm a touchy-feely person and I enjoy having a physical relationship as much as an emotional one."

Edward growled again and used his speed to rush back over and invade my personal space. His face was but an inch from mine and I could feel myself effected by him even now. I couldn't see love, joy or happiness reflected in his eyes though, instead I could see anger, hurt and a demon waiting to play.

"Are you not afraid of me Ella? Do you not find me dangerous?" he asked as he trailed one finger down the side of my face. "I am a monster Ella. I can kill you with a single touch. I do not play games Ella, when I say I cannot lose control I mean it. I am a predator and you are my prey."

"I do not fear you Edward."

"Perhaps you should."

I took a step away from him. I might not have been afraid of him but I was very much upset by him and could feel the tears that burned in the back of my eyes.

"Why are you pushing me away like this?"

"I'm not pushing you away, I'm just trying to make you understand."

"I think you should leave Edward."

"What?"

"This was supposed to be a celebration and a happy day but you have turned it into a nightmare. You have this view of life and I've listened to all you've said yet you won't allow me the same curtesy. I don't enjoy these double standards Edward. Either you're happy with our relationship or you aren't but you need to make up your mind."

Edward cast one snarky glance in my direction before he sped out of the clearing and I collapsed into tears. I couldn't help but think again that this was all my fault and that I shouldn't have pushed Edward. I should have just been happy with the relationship Edward and I had and not wanted it to be anything more. Edward and I clearly had a difference in opinion and where I was willing to listen to what he had to say, he wasn't willing to do the same.

I started to pack up the clearing and tried to focus on something else. As low as I felt in this moment I didn't want to give Edward the satisfaction of knowing his words had gotten to me. Couples fought all the time and this was our first fight and so it was bound to be explosive. I didn't think this was the end of the relationship – at least I hoped it wasn't – I just thought we needed to spend some moments alone to lick our wounds before we made up.

Still all that had been said had hurt me and I wasn't sure how to proceed. One moment I found myself staring into the depths of the forest without really looking and the next moment I found myself in the comforting arms of Rose. I wasn't sure how she found out about what had happened and I didn't really care much for I sorely needed the company she offered. I let myself relax in Rose's arms and allowed my tears to fall.

Jasper P.O.V

I could already feel the anger pulsing through my veins and I struggled to keep the Major from taking over. I knew what had happened moments ago when Alice's vision had changed and she'd told me of why. I was waiting for Edward to return from the forest and was pacing in the garden. I knew my family was standing beside me, apprehensively shifting from foot to foot.

I'd never thought to find a human that meant so much to me, as I could barely keep my control. Adjusting to this lifestyle had been difficult for me after so many years drinking human blood. It was even harder with my gift of feeling emotions that I would feel everyone's bloodlust onto of mine, which in turn made my slipups more common.

Ella was like a sister however, and I couldn't believe what Edward had done. Alice had been positively jumping around this morning, excited for the plan that Ella was putting in motion and the happy vision she'd seen of how the day would go. Edward had changed his mind for whatever reason and Alice's vision became a new bitter version of the original.

Ella didn't deserve the way Edward had just treated her and I couldn't understand Edward's actions towards her. I could hear him approaching now, a few short seconds and he'd come face to face with everyone. Rose was off as soon as he arrived, I could feel the anger radiating from her and knew it was wise for her not to be here. I suspected she was going to find Ella.

"What the fuck was that Edward?" I asked.

He looked startled, like the deer that we so often hunt. I don't think he was expecting a family audience so soon.

"What do you mean?" he replied curtly.

"Don't play games with me Edward," I growled. The Major was eager to come out and it was taking all my willpower to stop that from happening. "All those things you said to Ella, why?"

"She doesn't understand."

"No you don't understand. Ella would give up the world just to be with you. You pushing her away is only going to hurt the two of you. A bond once broken cannot be fixed."

"She shouldn't have to give up the world!"

"Edward it's been a month. We're not asking you to bind yourself to her for all eternity but you're thinking of the future when you should be looking at the present. We all know how you feel about our lifestyle and the years you've had to suffer alone but don't you think you should give Ella the benefit of doubt? She's old enough to make her own decisions without you shoving your opinions down her throat. She's only seventeen and believe me she isn't even thinking of becoming a vampire right now because her life is waiting before her. In your twisted thoughts did you ever think of what Ella wanted? What she truly wants? Or were you too preoccupied with making her see what you wanted."

"She wants a more…physical relationship. Surely you can't agree with that? One wrong move and I could be arrested for murder."

"You're jumping to conclusions again. She isn't made of glass Edward so don't treat her like a china doll."

"You're all in agreement that I'm in the wrong then?"

I knew he wasn't happy that I'd stood up to him and from the look on his face he was even more displeased that the rest of the family was taking my side as well.

"Edward, I have a friend that lives not five hours from here. His name is Rufus," said Carlisle. "Why don't you take tomorrow to go and visit him. He'll be able to answer any questions you have."

"Why?"

Carlisle sighed, "just trust me son."

Edward nodded though it was stiffly done and quickly sped away from us.

"Who's Rufus?" I asked Carlisle.

"A very old, very wise vampire who fell in love with a human. I thought it might do Edward good to talk to another who'd been in his shoes."

"Do you think it will help?"

"I hope so. I'd be very surprised if Edward didn't apologise to Ella by Monday morning."

I nodded and felt my anger drain away slightly. The Major retreated back into his box though I could tell he still wasn't happy. Edward better watch his actions when it came to Ella for I couldn't be responsible for what happens should the Major take over.

With the disastrous weekend over and done with, I'd wallowed in self-pity for the most part and eaten a lot of ice cream. Even Rose's comforting words hadn't eased the ache within my heart. I knew that both Edward and I were stubborn people but I'd have rather faked an apology than continue to ignore him. Jasper had told me to hang in there and that everything would work out. I had been sceptical of that fact but low and behold, there stood Edward outside the front of my house with his car, waiting to take me to school.

I had considered running back into the house but Bella had anticipated that moved and forcibly frogmarched me towards Edward. I had no choice but to get in the car with him and enjoy what promised to be a very awkward car journey.

"Are you going to ignore me for the entire journey?"

"Are you going to take away my choice?"

He sighed.

"I am…sorry for the way I treated you on the weekend. You were doing something romantic and I could only think of myself. I didn't take your consideration into account and just assumed all the answers."

I studied Edward's profile from where I sat in the passenger seat. He seemed serious if his grip on the steering wheel was anything to go by. Edward wasn't one for apologies and so I knew he was sincere. I wondered as to his sudden change in opinion and how this apology had come about. I didn't want to push things with him though. I'd ask another Cullen about it later.

"You're really sorry?"

"Most definitely."

"I'm sorry too Edward. I did not think how hard it was for you to be with me. I see couples having PDAs all the time and all I could think about was how I wanted that and not how that closeness would affect you."

"It's fine."

"We're ok then?"

He nodded.

I expected the rest of the car ride to be silent and I was right, it was. However, I didn't expect Edward to move his hand from the gear stick and entwine with mine.