Envy

the desire for others' traits, status, abilities, or situation

Rick's POV

Rick's eye twitched as he glared at the couple sitting at the table. He didn't recognize the guy with the long hair and goatee but the woman with dark dreadlocks sitting across from him was unmistakable.

Michonne.

After months of calling her, following her to work and home, and multiple failed attempts to get anywhere near her, there she sat right in front of him, mere steps between them. He glanced around looking for the bodyguard her father had hired. No sign of the brawny man with a killer left hook.

Finally, she was alone. He glowered at the animated, stylish Jesus-looking fucker sitting across from her. No, not alone, he thought angrily. He clenched his jaw tightly. She was on a date. Apparently, she'd moved on.

His stomach churned violently, his heart clenched as if the life were being squeezed from it. Betrayal conflicted with the guilt that he'd been drowning in for months now. It killed him to see her with some idiot unworthy of breathing the same air as her, let alone date her.

She deserved better. She deserved a man. She deserved..., he stopped. He winced as a familiar ache bloomed in his chest. He wanted to say him but she deserved so much more.

He'd hurt her. Though it had been unintentional, he knew he'd hurt her in the most intimate way possible: he'd betrayed her trust. He couldn't expect her to stick around after finding him in bed with Lori. Infidelity was the one thing she'd never forgive. She'd already gone through it with the asshole before him, she wasn't about to put up with it a second time.

He drew in a shuddering breath. If only he had sent Lori on her way. If only she hadn't blindsided him with the unbelievable news that she'd had his kid ten years ago. He wouldn't have believed it if she hadn't shown him the DNA test and the picture that could've passed as him as a young boy.

Laying eyes on a photo of his son sparked something inside of him. It was like an instinct he didn't know he had suddenly appeared out of nowhere. He didn't know anything about being a father but he knew he couldn't just kick his son's mother out on the streets of Atlanta at night, especially when she didn't have a place to stay.

So – like a dumbass – he let her spend the night. Of course, he didn't offer her his bed but somehow she'd found her way under his covers anyway.

He should have realized it. Though he was asleep, he should have known the warm body next to him wasn't Michonne. How could he have not known it wasn't her? Instead, he had awoken to his former girlfriend going down on him and the love of his life long gone.

She didn't give him much of a chance to explain. After managing to convince her to stay on the phone line long enough to get in more than two words, he'd managed to fuck it up even further. The brief conversation consisted of him blurting out – like a dumbass – that Lori was the mother of his ten-year-old son and that though she had caught him with his dick in her mouth, he didn't finish.

That little gem earned him a swift end to that call and a reserved spot on her blocked callers list. He didn't even get a chance to tell her that it was all a mistake. He had a feeling it wouldn't have mattered anyway. She saw what she saw. He couldn't blame her if she didn't believe him.

Nevertheless, he was a stubborn man. He couldn't let this perfect woman walk out of his life forever, not without a fight.

Unfortunately, her parents anticipated his persistence. They did everything to keep him away from her. It was actually quite impressive. It had been six months since she'd left him and this was the first time he'd been in the same room as her without her bodyguard lunging toward him.

He had a chance. The nearly extinguished hope in his heart burned brightly. That was until he noticed her date. Envy quickly smothered the flame.

He calculatedly studied him. Long hair, expensive clothes, tan skin, he resembled one of those flawless male models on the cover of the fashion magazines she loved browsing through. But he wasn't her type. Michonne wasn't into pretty boys like that. Then again, the smiles that she rewarded him with told him a different story. His insides twisted tightly.

He took a long sip of the amber liquid in his glass, his eyes flitting to the mirror behind the bar. He slightly lowered his drink, studying his reflection. There was once a time when his looks were one of his greatest assets but the years were starting to catch up to him.

The wrinkles around his eyes were more prominent than ever. The gray hair in his beard and near his temples shimmered white. His youth was slowly disappearing. It made him wish he were few years younger, had some fashion sense, and maybe even had longer hair. He downed the rest of his drink. Maybe that's what she liked all along.

He sniffed at his insecurity. What the hell was wrong with him? He was fine. He looked fine. He needed to get his shit together or the chance to talk to her would slip through his fingers.

He turned and glared at her date hoping he'd feel his gaze. After an intense one-sided stare down, the guy finally turned his head. Their eyes met. Rick wanted to convey all the hate and anger he felt. He wanted this stranger to know that even though he didn't know him, he despised him with his entire being.

He hated him for making her smile. He hated him for eating dinner with her. He hated him because he existed. He could care less who he was, he just knew he hated him.

The guy looked away, a glint of fear in his eyes. Good, thought Rick, at least he wasn't as brainless as he thought. Then, she turned around.

They locked eyes. Though his anger reflected in his gaze, the breath left his body in shock. His heart skipped a beat as desperation snuck its way into his gaze but then she quickly turned away before she could see it. Based on her stiff posture, she was obviously upset by his presence.

He continued to longingly watch the now awkward couple, even when he felt the woman Shane had set him up with sidle up next to him. He honestly could care less about her, Jaquie or Jessica or whatever her name was. The only reason he'd agreed to go out was because Shane had threatened to hire a prostitute to 'get him out of his rut'. Unfortunately, his friend had a knack for following through with his threats.

He vaguely registered her clinging to his arm. His focus was on the goateed motherfucker who was leaning toward his woman. Fire grew in Rick's eyes. He clenched his fist ready to walk over and knock his teeth out but then she turned around again.

His stomach fluttered nervously ready to make eye contact with her but then she stopped, nonchalantly sipping from her wine glass. He could tell that she was looking at him out of the corner of her eye. He glared. She was playing games. He knew she could see him but she only gave him her profile before she quickly turned away again.

He flexed his jaw. Fine, he thought. If she wanted to play games, he'd only be more than happy to play along.

After a moment, they stood from the table and left. Rick, still ignoring his date, set his drink down and swiftly followed. He could hear the blonde call out behind him but he paid her no mind.

His heart was beating a million miles a minute. The woman of his dreams was leaving. He needed to talk to her. He couldn't let her walk out of the restaurant without agreeing to hear him out. His life depended on it.

vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv

Watching her walk out the doors was the hardest thing he'd ever done in his life. She'd left traces of her sweet perfume cling to the air. His regrettable words soured on his tongue. Why didn't he say how much he loved her? He'd acted like a perfect idiot. He should have gotten down on his knees, begged and pleaded until she took him back.

How he longed to touch her, to feel her, to taste her. He hadn't realized how much he missed her until he was left standing there powerless and alone, forced to watch her disappear with her unworthy friend trailing behind her.

The moment she walked away, he quickly rid himself of his regrettable date. He knew Shane wouldn't let him hear the end of it but he didn't care. Michonne had granted him an opportunity, a chance to recuperate what they'd lost. He wouldn't fuck it up, even if it meant pissing off his friend and rejecting an easy way out.

Michonne was his life, he was more certain of that than ever. He couldn't imagine living another day without her but he'd hurt her. She'd needed time. Hell, he'd needed time. He needed to experience life without her to truly appreciate the fact that it wasn't a life worth living.

It was up to him to begin picking up the pieces and make something new, stronger. He had broken it and now he would fix it. He couldn't lose her. What they had was too perfect to end like this. It wasn't over.

It isn't over, he thought determinedly.

He deeply inhaled and walked out of the restaurant, ready to face the world again with a single goal in mind: he would find his way back to her heart and, this time, he would be a man worthy of her love.

Thank you to everybody who gave feedback to the first chapter of this series! I thought I'd give a bit more background to the situation and a dash more of envy through Rick's perspective. I hope you enjoyed it!

After taking lots of time to think, I've decided to do whatever feels right after each story. It may be a one-shot or it might take me a few chapters to feel good about it. Your input will definitely help with that!

I heard some concerns about this feeling misleading in the sense that I'm not writing exclusively about the listed sin. I just want to reiterate that these stories are solely inspired by the deadly sins. It may be obvious or it may be subtle. This is just my humble interpretation.

As always, thank you so much and I hope to hear from you soon!

Your grateful writer,

semul