Deryn was about to say something more on the matter when she was distracted by the scent of adrenaline. She frowned down at Alek, who was actually looking quite peaceable, considering the night he's been having. Though he stood close to her, Deryn knew the pheromones of something angry, desperate, and afraid weren't coming from him.
Alek seemed to notice her sudden change of mood with a start. Any camaraderie between them was dashed again as Deryn's sense of the mysterious scent was muddled by Alek's own quickened heartbeat. A darker part of Deryn mused that if his blood didn't want to shut up she would be happy to relieve him of it. From the way he shrank back from the look she shot him it was clear he had received the message. It took a bit more struggling to beat those thoughts down, but Deryn realized she was growing accustomed to them. Maybe this high of hers was finally wearing off.
"It's the ship," she said, more to herself than anyone else, "It's woken up. I'll bet they've started adjusting the harness. The poor beastie has no idea where she is!"
Alek looked around, and comprehension dawned on him.
"The ship does seem a bit less slanted," He admitted, "Is it…dangerous?"
"No," Deryn said, "They'll only be doing a bit each our so as not to disturb her too much. Can't have her panicking and writhing about. I'd say we'll be level by dawn."
Whatever apprehension he felt about her sudden shift in behavior was nothing to the panic that faired up at her words.
"Dawn?" He asked, "How long is that from now?"
"Half an hour, maybe?"
"Just half an hour?" Alek swore and wiped his hands on his furs, "We need to get moving, now."
"You don't want to wait for daylight?" Deryn asked, confused.
Instead of the relief any reasonable living being would feel on a ship of creatures that were most intimidating at night, the boy seemed only more anxious to hear this news.
"No," Alek said, standing and marching to the exit, "I need to return home as soon as possible- How much longer until the sun rises?"
Deryn pulled out her watch and groaned when she saw that the glass was broken. It wasn't in Deryn's nature to get sentimental, but she took some pride in her ability to keep her things. Little accomplishments like that made the concept of a damned eternity much less intimidating, after all. Gingerly she tucked it away and followed after him.
"Longer than an hour and a half," she said, "It'll probably be a while until the sun reaches us up here. Are you sure you don't want to wait? I know you're jumpy and all, but it'd be easier for you to slip away when it gets bright."
Whatever the boy was so afraid of seemed to pause for a moment as he stopped to study Deryn curiously. She rolled her eyes.
"And no, we don't retire to our caskets during the day. We're just a wee bit sensitive to sunlight, it's best for you to be off while the sentries are preparing themselves."
To Deryn's amazement, Alek actually smiled.
"I'll be honest, I cannot imagine you sleeping in a coffin," he said.
"More of a crate, really," She admitted, "But that's better than making a break for it in the middle of the night, I'd say we should head out just after-"
"That isn't possible," he interrupted, "My family will be here soon."
Deryn couldn't help but smirk at this, "You're quite up yourself, aren't you?"
"I beg your pardon?"
Deryn was able to pass him as he slowed, the ninny was going the wrong direction anyway.
"You think quite highly of yourself," She explained, "Like you're something special."
That expression of indignation threatened to color his features again, but he seemed to beat it down. Deryn expected another snappy retort, but there was a sincere sheepishness in his voice when he spoke.
"I had an unusual upbringing." He admitted.
Deryn couldn't help but laugh at that.
"Oh really? I'd think I was all the rage for fancy clankers to holiday on glaciers!"
This time Alek did screw up his face, "My family-"
"Aye, your family," She said, "You think they're going to come all this way to a…what was it, a godless beast to face a bunch of bloodsucking abominations?"
There was a moment of hesitation then, and Deryn realized that the boy wasn't blushing or fiddling at all. Alek was dead serious, almost mournful.
"Yes," he said, "They will."
"Blisters," She swore, suddenly not so jovial anymore.
That was what it was like to be alive, wasn't it? Haphazardly throwing yourself in harm's way for the sake of your own, damn the consequences. That was exactly why Deryn was here now, after all. Robbed of the threat of death, it was difficult to care about others in quite the same way. It had been so long since anyone Deryn loved had needed saving she had almost forgotten. It made her feel stupid and cruel to overlook something so barking simple she actually stopped for a moment, then turned her back to him and continued on her way.
"I suppose that's normal, isn't it?" she tried to be casual.
The attempt didn't work, Alek stayed silent as they walked. They passed a row of portholes, the brightening sky illuminating a grave expression on the boy's face. Deryn chewed her knuckle, cursing herself for spoiling the lighter atmosphere once again. Now he was assuredly uncomfortable with her undead-ness again.
"Must be nice," She made a second attempt, "Having parents?"
"It was." He said.
Oh.
"Was?" Deryn asked, "Are your parents… Um...?"
Again, they stopped in place. Alek looked at her then, really looked at her, and this time she was subjected to the intensity of his stare without a daze of mesmerism. Again, she saw that little spark of life in his eyes, so utterly sad and exhausted, so completely human. The exchange disarmed her more than his previous glares or gawking in terror. It was as if he was seeing her as a person for the first time.
Alek didn't speak, merely nodded looked away.
A bizarre and most definitely inappropriate smile appeared on Deryn's face before she could help it.
"My da's gone too!" She spat out, "It's pure dead horrible, isn't it?"
That was not the right thing to say. That was perhaps the worst thing to say. Deryn made a show of checking her pocket watch in some attempt to cover up what a horrible thing to say that was.
"Yes, it is." She could hear an awkward bafflement in his voice, "I'm sorry."
Deryn swallowed, now he was apologizing to her?
"At least my mum's still alive!" Deryn tried to salvage the mood, "So there's that!"
Alek frowned, "How can that be?"
Something upsetting occurred to Deryn for the first time.
"Well- not alive, probably." She said, "Alright, I don't actually know what happened to her- but I'm sure she never rose!"
Alek frowned, "Never rose?"
"Like, um," Deryn babbled, "If she'd contracted the virus I probably would have known about it. My brother rose too and it was the first thing they told me after digging me up. I'd reckon they'd let me know if my mum was still around, instead of just not mentioning her at all. She probably ended up living a normal happy life!"
Alek didn't respond, as if he knew that Deryn was piecing it together in her mind.
"…After losing her entire family to the plague."
Neither of them said a word. The silence was the most awkward one of the night, Alek said nothing and Deryn felt his stare digging into her back. She was reminded of the way he had looked at her before, as if she were human, and Deryn wondered if he was right to do so.
Had she really never thought of her mother in any of her years serving aboard the ship? It wasn't as if she was cross with her mother, thinking back Deryn couldn't remember having any strong feelings for the woman during their last encounter. But to have not even thought of her or her life after the epidemic once?
In the beginning, things like this had always tripped her up. Little details briefly broke the spell on her mind that allowed her to exist unburdened and ageless. A dull ache settled in Deryn's gut as she considered eternity. A flash of existential dread before it numbed her gently back into that timeless state.
It wasn't so surprising really. The undead had no use for mothers.
"Maybe it's a wee more bit complicated," she said matter-of-factly, "But it's probably better she passed before any of us woke up…"
Alek waited a few moments before speaking up.
"I'm glad I didn't tell the officers about you, Dylan."
"Aye, me too." Deryn huffed, more in relief the conversation was changing, "We should get moving. Your family is probably worried about you- and us chatting here isn't helping matters."
Alek nodded, regarding her again with that strange stare. Deryn tried to ignore it as she turned away, but could still feel his eyes as she led him into the dawn.