A/N: Due to an error, email alerts were not sent to story followers for chapters 16-20. This chapter will be the last update for the while. Do enjoy this recent string of updates.

Chapter 22

Arlessa Isolde had gone all out in showing her approval for their party by providing a small ship to transport them and the mages back to the Circle. It usually took a day to cross the lake, so Leliana hoped that they would make it by midday on the morrow.

The bard had taken refuge on the upper deck, leaning against the railing. She watched the interplay of black and silver unfold in the water beneath her, watched the twinkling stars reflected in the still waters until the ripples distorted the image. Her hair–which now reached her shoulders and a little beyond–swayed in the gentle breeze and she made no effort to restrain it.

Despite the calm stillness of her surrounding, her mind was drowning in disquietude.

In moments of quiet reflection, thoughts of her dishonesty plagued her. He deserves to know the truth after speaking up about himself. Leliana had been relieved to know that he had been keeping secrets from her. It meant that she wasn't alone. She had decided to tell him, but circumstances had prevented her from doing so.

But... he remembered. She smiled. He got me flowers.

While she had teased him mercilessly in the morning, she had meant what she said about him. She did think he was a great person. She knew he was a good listener. She'd seen first-hand his prowess as a fighter. And he is quite charming with his awkward templar-boy ways. It was endearing.

Dropping her chin onto her hands, Leliana sighed tremulously. Feelings are hard.

She made a decision. The next time I see him, I'm telling him. There would be no more lies between them.

The door to the ship's galley opened at that very moment and a humming Alistair stepped out, using his foot to close it.

Leliana massaged her temples. Really? Now?

"Oh, there once was a hero named Ragnar the Red, who went riding from blah blah blah words words words words... ah, Leli! Yoohoo!"

The man waved at her and she couldn't not wave back. Of course, he took this as an invitation and came over to her, smiling widely.

"'Choo doin'?"

"Thinking. Are you drunk?"

"Pshh. It'll take more than five bottles of mead to get me drunk. It's just honey." He paused. "You know, you should never talk to people who call you honey. It's just bee vomit. You don't need such people in your life."

Amused, she shook her head and looked out at the water. "Not drunk, then. But definitely a little buzzed."

"Won't deny that." He laughed and leant back against the railings, supporting himself with his hands. "Did you sup?"

"Hmm. You?"

"Sure did. I'm a good boy."

That tickled her. "You're cute," she told him, smiling.

"Cute? Cute? That's it? You might as well just stab me in the face while you're at it." He sighed deeply. "But I suppose being called cute by a beautiful woman is worth something."

She would not touch that. Not now. "But I thought you liked being adorable?"

"It's a good excuse." He shrugged. "But if after we end the Blight they start calling me Alistair the Adorable, I'm committing suicide and coming back to haunt you."

Leliana could not help the peal of laughter that escaped her. "If anything, they'll call you Alistair the Amusing."

He hummed. "Good enough. But what were you thinking about?"

"Hmm?"

"Oh you know. Looking out over the horizon and gathering your thoughts and distilling them before you immortalise them in verse." He grinned. "It's how you looked."

She smiled. I guess this is all the time I can buy for myself. How do I even begin? "Alistair?"

"Yeah?"

"I have something for you."

"...flowers?"

"No." Shaking her head, she turned towards him and brought out an amulet from her pocket. She held it out so he could make out the symbol of Andraste. "This."

She saw his eyes narrow before widening, saw the bulge in his throat bob up and down. He touched it tentatively with his fingertips, but didn't take it from her.

"This is... my mother's amulet. Isn't it? It has to be. But it isn't broken..." All trace of levity left him. Indeed, he sounded confused more than anything. "Where did you...?"

"In the Arl's study," Leliana replied softly. Three and a half days were a long time to stay indoors without exploring and when she found it, she'd kept it.

"I don't–I don't understand. This means he found it after I'd thrown it, had it repaired and... kept it with him all this time?" Alistair dropped his hands to his sides and said mostly to himself, "Why would he do that?"

She'd been puzzling over that herself. Of course, coming to a definite conclusion wasn't possible, but she could theorise. "I suppose you meant more to him that you realised."

"You could be right," he said doubtfully. "We never talked much. And with the way I left..." He shook his head. "I should... talk to him if he... when he recovers. I wish I had this a long time ago."

Hesitantly, Leliana held the chain with both hands and held it up. "May I...?" she trailed off.

"Hmm? Oh. Uhh, of course," he said quickly and bowed his head so Leliana could put it on him.

"There," she said as he straightened, patting the amulet over his chest. "Back where it belongs."

"I just... I don't even know what to say besides thank you, though that isn't enough." The man sighed and took the amulet in his hands, rubbing his thumbs over the symbol of Andraste. He looked up at her. "I only got you flowers-"

She placed her index on his lips, shushing him. "They weren't just flowers. Alistair, what you gave me was a way of remembering my mother. Nothing equals that gift."

Leliana blushed slightly when he covered her hand with his and gave her wrist a squeeze. "This does," he said quietly. Then with a short laugh: "Really, I didn't think about all that when I gave you those flowers. It was just... an impulse." He let go of her hand and settled back against the railing. "I was thinking... here I was, doing all that whining while you weren't having an easy time of it yourself. Yet you never complained. Even with all the death and tragedy. I just thought I could do something, you know? However small. If I'd known that you would take out some insignificant detail out of all that complaining and give me a grand gift, I'd have picked more flowers." He chuckled and stared down at his boots. "I guess I'm just used to people not really paying attention to what I'm saying."

It irritated her how he thought himself as insignificant. "Of course, I remember," she said sternly. "I remember everything you've told me about yourself. Never think for a moment that you mean nothing to me, Alistair, because you do. You are... special. To me."

Her tone had caught him by surprise. She could see that in the way he blinked at her, trying to make sense of her words.

"Ehh?"

"I cherish all the memories of us on guard at camp, talking to pass the time in the small hours... well, I talk and you listen mostly..." Oh Maker I'm word vomiting. "Sometimes I fall asleep and wake to find you still watchful and I know that you're watching out for me. It's comforting, your presence." She latched onto his bicep, swept away by emotion. "W-what I'm trying to say is that I'm comfortable around you, Alistair. I know you'll be there when I need you."

The redhead took a deep breath to steady herself and let go of his arm. "And I need you now... to listen to what I have to say next," she said and looked up at him.

Alistair, to his credit, looked fully committed to his task, despite everything she'd just said. "Go on."

Right. Leliana sighed and turned towards the lake again, gripping the railing tightly. "I lied to you, you know. About why I came to Ferelden. I didn't want to talk about it at the time. What happened to me... maybe it will affect us." She waved dismissively. "Maybe it won't. But you should know." She stared at the water for a while before saying, "I left Orlais because I was being hunted there."

"Hunted?"

She nodded. "I was framed for something I did not do. Betrayed by someone I trusted. Marjolaine." She chewed out the name. "She was my mentor... and friend." Or so I thought. "She was the one who taught me the bardic arts. She taught me everything I know–how to carry myself like a high-born lady or how to blend in like a servant–and I used what she taught me to help her, my bard-master, because I enjoyed what I did." She hesitated before adding, "And because I loved her."

Alistair didn't say anything to that, but Leliana felt the need to explain herself.

"She was remarkable woman, Marjolaine. I do not think I can fully express the admiration I had for her. Or the depth of my affection." Move along, move along. "My devotion to her blinded me to her... less than noble attributes. You could say it was my fault really." She laughed bitterly. "I was sent to kill a man. I didn't know who he was–I just had a name and a description. Enough for me to track him down. I was under orders to bring all he carried to Marjolaine, and all he had on him were documents. Sealed documents." Leliana paused quickly to stop a wave a of anger from spreading through her body. "Something told me that they were important. And they were. You see, Marjolaine had been selling information about Orlais to other countries like Antiva and Nevarra, among others. It was treason.

"My life as a bard had taught me to keep my loyalties flexible, you understand. I was afraid–not because she was a traitor, but because her life would be in danger if she were caught. Countries tend not to appreciate treason, as I soon found out." She turned and took a few steps, passing Alistair by but kept talking over her shoulder. "I should have left it alone, but I had to tell Marjolaine that I feared for her life. She brushed off my concerns, but admitted to guilt. It was all in the past and thus the documents had to be destroyed, she said. And I believed her. And I kept believing until they showed me the documents, altered by her hand to make me look the traitor."

What Alistair said under his breath she could not quite catch, but knew that it had not been flattering. Can't blame him.

Leliana stood on his other side now, and reached for the railings again. "The Orlesian guards captured me. They did... terrible things to make me confess to my crimes and reveal my conspirators." A shudder passed down her spine at the memory, and her grip on the railing tightened involuntarily. "It was a traitor's punishment I endured, and at the end of it, all I had to look forward to was an eternity in an unmarked grave. But I guess every cloud has a silver lining, for when I saw an opportunity, I broke out. The skills Marjolaine taught me were good for something, at least." She attempted to laugh, but it came out hollow.

"And you... never tried to go after Marjolaine?"

"No. Survival was my only concern at the time. Besides, if she saw me coming she would have me caught again. Not to say I didn't want to, oh no. I wanted to confront her. I was furious, betrayed, but what could I do against her?" She sighed again, hanging her head. "And so I fled across the border to Ferelden, to Lothering. Ferelden protected my person while the Maker saved my soul." Attempting a small smile, she looked at him. "And now you know all. No more lies between us. At least, not in this."

Now comes the judgement.

"That's... a lot to take in," Alistair said, rubbing the back of his neck. "I mean, I knew it wasn't going to be simple sightseeing, but wow. That's just... wow." He sighed. "Thank you for trusting me with this, though."

Leliana shook her head. "No, thank you for listening." And understanding. "It feels good to get this off my chest."

And it did. More than she could have imagined. The metaphorical weight being lifted felt physical to her. Saying it out loud had felt more liberating than... anything.

When she felt him wrap an arm around her shoulders and pull her into his side however, Leliana couldn't help the small squeak of surprise which escaped her.

"I'll always be here to listen, Leli. You can count on that." Hearing his deep voice lower and reverberate so close to her ear did nothing for her hormones. "You're my favourite person, okay? I'll always be there for you should you need Alistair the Amusing." He chuckled and squeezed her shoulder before letting go.

She missed his touch already. Get a hold of yourself. It's not your fault he sounds really nice when he lowers his voice like that. "I'll keep that in mind. Thank you again. Really."

He waved it off. "I'm going to go to bed now, though. Still feeling a little woozy."

"Of course. Goodnight, Alistair."

"Mhmm. Night night, Leli," he said and winked at her before turning to leave. Leliana caught herself wondering whether she should follow him to his quarters, but abandoned the idea as soon as he whirled around and came back. "Oh, and while we're on the topic, when you said you loved this Marjolaine woman, did you mean platonically or full-on touchy-feely hanky-panky?"

The redhead blinked. "Why?"

"Look, I mean, I know this is personal, but I only recently found that two women could... y'know." Oh. "Like, I know what goes where and all that, but... how does it work between two women?"

When he clasped his fingers to show them fitting into the gaps between each other to demonstrate, Leliana burst out laughing.

"What? What's so funny?"

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to laugh," she said while still giggling unapologetically. "It's just... do you know anything about women?"

"Funny you should say that, actually. Zevran asked me the same thing when you were giving me hell for kissin-" He stopped himself. "I said nothing. Forget I said anything."

"It's okay, Alistair. I know I overreacted that day, and I'm sorry." She offered him a smile. "Really. It was just the hormones. It was that time of the month, you see." She rolled her eyes. You know how it is.

"...right." Alistair rocked back and forth as if considering her words. "You say that like it's supposed to mean something, but I'm not quite sure what it does."

Oh. Oh my. "Are you... quite serious, Alistair?"

He did not seem to trust her grin. "I don't like it when you grin at me like that. Bad things happen to me when you grin like that."

Leliana grabbed his forearm before he could slip away. Oh, this is going to be so much fun! She gave him the most innocent smile she could muster.

"Allow me to tell you all about it, my prince."