Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, just playing in the sandbox. I lay claim to the fey world and the characters associated with it.

AN: A day late, I'm sorry, was hectic yesterday! Exhausted today but looking forward to the three day weekend! :D ~ Hannah

Reviews for Chapter Fifty-One:

Amy - Thanks :) one of my biggest challenges during this 'book three' segment was to show Edward's faults. He is not a perfect being. He's finally committing to evolving which is something I think his character lacked in the books.

Diamondeyes323 - I update every Thursday (when I'm being good) but thank you. There will be more Edward and Ella soon. They have a lot of differences to sort out and a lot of compromises to make.

Chapter Fifty-Two – Coming Out of the Shell

When I woke up this morning to the song of a single bird chirping outside my window. The dark ghost of anxiety and depression that had become my constant companions had turned grey and faded. I took this in my stride, knowing they could return in full force at any moment yet I felt lighter. I felt that when I pulled back the curtains, I wasn't just exposing my room to light but also my head and my heart.

My body tingled like it was on fire with warm feelings. I no longer walked like I had the weight of the world on my shoulders. I no longer shuddered under the weight of what others were thinking or doing. I didn't think of what had happened this summer with despair or hatred. I didn't feel myself falling down the same familiar well and getting stuck there.

I had found a rope and I had climbed out of that well and the future was now brighter. I'd learnt some valuable lessons about myself and those around me. I knew I had support from those that mattered. I knew I had stronger friendships with those I'd been distant with. I knew I had the strength in me to fix my relationship with Edward. I no longer felt like the weakling who'd been kidnapped and had a world of drama to sort out. I now felt like a laid-back person who carried anxiety.

I always had anxiety, I'd always suffered from depression but these were lighter than their evil twins I'd been dealing with recently. I could trust the feelings I felt now because I'd dealt with them for so long. I wasn't afraid of them therefore I wouldn't let them run my life. If I could push them back I could control them. I could deal with this the way I had dealt with other things.

I dressed, for the first time since being released from hospital, in the brightest clothes I could find. Pink skinny jeans, a black bralette and an oversized bright yellow t-shirt that had the word 'happy' written across the chest.

"Happy," I murmured to myself.

I wasn't completely convinced I was happy but I was seeing things more positively. There was still a long road ahead of me. Sudden movements from others still made me flinch. I still had to double check my windows were closed at night. I still had trouble walking around by myself and I struggled getting back into my creativity.

The nightmares hadn't stopped only lessened with each passing night. I could still wake up screaming and in a cold sweat. I could still be shaken awake by Bella or Dad but sometimes I could stop the nightmares and sometimes I woke up from them without terror or panic. There were shining lights in my nightmares now, beacons of hope and safety that guided me out of the dark and took me to safer places. Only time would tell if I was truly able to move on and leave the past behind me but from what I'd learnt about PSTD, there could always be a chance of relapsing.

Perhaps that was a bad way to look at things. I didn't feel the need to fake my way through the day. I felt a little anxiety at whether people would challenge my mood or accuse me of pretending to be happy but I needed to put my best foot forward and that meant not concentrating on those bad thoughts and maintaining a positive outlook on life.

"You seem happier."

"Jasper! Don't sneak up on people like that! What are you doing here so early anyway?"

"Bella phoned. Said she heard you talking to yourself in your room. She was worried."

"Oh, well I'm fine."

"Yes, you are, I can feel it. This is a good sign."

"Yes, but I sense a but coming from you."

Jasper sighed, "you realise you'll still have bad days and setbacks, don't you? Just because you're happy today doesn't mean you're completely healed."

"I know Jasper and I understand but I believe I'm over the worse now. I feel full of such positivity, I'd almost forgotten what it felt like."

"I believe you are over the worst as well Ella. So, what's on the cards today for Miss Ella? School?"

"Jasper! It's a Saturday! I'm going fishing with Dad later."

"Fishing? Really? You?"

"Oi, Bella's the clumsy one remember! I like fishing with Dad. I'm not good at it but I like spending time with him."

Jasper held up his hands in surrender, "ok, note to self, don't tease Ella about fishing. So, what are you doing this morning then?"

"Well since you asked, you're going to drive me back to your home and I'm going to give Edward a piece of my mind."

"I'd forgotten how scary you can be."

"Jasper Hale do not make me set Alice on you."

Jasper smiled, I knew that smirk, it was a 'I've succeeded smirk'. He just wanted to see how much of my happiness was act and how much was real. Guess he got his answer.

"Come on then, I'll take you to Edward but don't chew him up too badly or he might not recover."

"Humour Jasper, really? You're almost as happy as me to give Edward a piece of my mind."

"Shh, people aren't supposed to know."

The happy friendship I had with Jasper wasn't something I'd trade for anything. I had forgotten how much I'd missed him this summer and how much I had craved his comfort and his humour. Jasper was my brother, even though we shared no blood, it was just the relationship we had.

We arrived at the Cullen house and those I was greeted quite politely by those present, I waved them off quite rudely in favour of grabbing Edward's hand and dragging him outside with me. Letting go of his hand as soon as we had passed the boundaries of the Cullen property, I immediately felt the loss of his hand in mine. Nevertheless, I continued to walk further into the forest and could hear his footsteps accompanying mine.

Though I had kept my cool during the car ride over with Jasper, just being in Edward's presence had my blood boiling. I hated it because I knew how anger could consume couples and I didn't want the result of this meeting to be a parting of ways.

I stopped walking in a small clearing where the trees refused to touch each other, where she sun caressed my skin and where I could feel the wind that carried the smell of the sea hit my face. Edward stood on the opposite of the clearing from me, looking at the ground and swinging one of his feet on the forest floor. He looked like a chastised puppy and though it would be easy to give up the fight then and there, I stood my ground.

"Edward."

Though my voice was clear and loud, he didn't look up.

"Edward look at me."

He did then, bringing his tortured gaze up to meet my own. I was reminded then again about my strength and my need to see this through. Whatever Edward was expecting from this meeting, it was clear he thought he had the upper hand and the ability to manipulate me into seeing his way. It might have worked once upon a time but it wouldn't work now. I knew Edward was hurting, I knew because I had the same hurt. I had the same pain coursing through me. As much as my recovery took up my time and changed me, this two would shape me.

"Edward? What are we? You have barely said more than three words to me since the end of the summer. If you cannot bare to be in the same room as me then what does this say of our relationship? Is there even a relationship to fall back on? I don't know how you feel because you haven't told me. If you no longer want a relationship with me, please say so because I cannot bear this a moment longer. It's like you're here but I cannot reach you, I feel your presence but it no longer sings to mine. I am sorry for what has happened but if we cannot move past this then what is left?"

The pain in his eyes, would, I think, be pouring down his face if it could. I didn't like kicking a puppy when it was down but I needed answers as much as he did. I needed to know if he was willing to fight for us or if he needed to let go. I couldn't continue to live my life in this limbo. It wasn't fair to either of us.

"Are you not going to answer me Edward? I suppose that answers my question then, there is no point me being her now."

Even though there had been a possibility of Edward ending things, my heart was still breaking into a thousand pieces as I crossed the clearing and moved to pass Edward. I felt heavy and angry. The happiness I'd felt earlier had almost disappeared.

"Wait."

I did, with a thousand butterflies of hope battling in my chest.

"I'm sorry."

"You're sorry?" I turned to face him, startling him with the aggression I knew was on my face. "Did you just say you were fucking sorry? You've been ignoring me for weeks, dictating my healing behind my back and glaring at me from a distance and all you can say is your sorry?! I can't do this."

"Ella please. Yes, I'm sorry. You must understand, I've been waiting for you for over half my life. You came and changed everything and I so desperately wanted to protect you. You need to be protected, you are a woman, you cannot possibly survive on your own. I left to protect you from the evil in this world as is my right. I begged Carlisle to listen to me regarding your healing because I was protecting you where you couldn't protect yourself. You weren't listening to me."

"Are you fucking serious Edward? Do you hear yourself at all? You've waited half your life for me and you've adapted quite well with all the changes in life yet you still believe men stand above women? What the hell is up with that? I can protect myself far better than you can. You left remember. Off you went to fulfil your heroic needs and you abandoned me with the evil you thought to eradicate. I was handling things quite well with no help from you."

"You got Kidnapped Ella! How is that looking after yourself? What happened to you? Marco changed you. What did he do to you? What did you do?"

"Always back to this. All you had to do was ask Edward. NOTHING happened, I did nothing with Marco. That's why he kidnapped me. He was so convinced he could manipulate my mind and my body and he got increasingly desperate the more that seemed impossible. He just couldn't remove your presence from my mind. You could not be removed or replaced. He couldn't take my heart because you already had it. He kidnapped me to FORCE me to be with him. It was the ONLY way that was going to happen and the sooner you get those sick thoughts that I betrayed you out of your head, the better."

"What was I supposed to think? You weren't in your right mind! He could have made you do so many things and you'd have never known."

"Well thank god he didn't. Don't pretend to understand what I've been through Edward. You couldn't possibly. No one can. I have no reason to be ashamed or guilty about what happened. Projecting your own anger onto me isn't helpful. Maybe you should have sessions with Jasper."

"I don't need mental help. I'm not weak or injured."

"Oh, but I am right? After all, I'm just a lowly woman who can't protect herself."

"Don't twist my words around."

"I'm not Edward. I understand you come from a different time but I just don't understand how you can have evolve in every aspect except your views on women."

"I was born in 1901, it was just how things were done then."

"It's not 1901 anymore Edward, it's 2006. The views you have are no longer accepted. I certainly don't accept them."

"You never had a problem with my gentlemanly ways before."

"Yes, because you never showed this other side of you. Your gentlemanly ways are just that, you being a gentleman. This other side of you speaks of a spoilt child who is used to getting his own way and won't settle for anything less. The others I could forgive, their fear and their panic drove their actions but you, you've showed neither of these traits. If anything, you just seem miffed at being called out."

"Why are you calling me out on this now? You love me."

"Yes, I love you but loving you don't mean I have to turn a blind eye to everything you do. I want our relationship to be equal. I want our love to endure. I want there to be no secrets between us, I want to be able to share my problems with you and to come to you for advice. I don't want to be controlled or dictated. I don't want to be wrapped in bubble wrap and forbidden to see the light of day. You've got the wrong girl if that's what you were looking for."

"But you're my mate."

"Which doesn't mean I have to blindly follow you. Mates means that we are ideally suited towards each other, it doesn't mean we are a carbon copy of each other. It is our differences that bring us together. I learn from you and you learn from me. Otherwise we'll just stand side by side with no development. Couples fight, that's just part of life, emotions are chaotic and fast, they offer rewards and consequences. Answer me this Edward, do you want to terminate our relationship?"

"No."

"Do you think we can work through this?"

"…I think so."

"Do you believe in me?"

"Yes."

"Do you trust me?"

"…"

"My answers are the same Edward but this starting ground is good. We can grow from here, use this as a starting board for the rest of our relationship and like my healing, it's not going to be a quick fix. I must prove myself to you, let you know that I trust you once more and that I understand your actions and that I'm willing to compromise on matters. You need to prove yourself to me, regain my trust, let go of your beliefs that I can be controlled and forget the past. If we are willing to fight for one another, does the list of things to overcome really sound that bad?"

"No."

"I love you Edward, I've never been ashamed to admit that and I will never forget it. Relationships have their ups and downs, and we aren't even a 'conventional' relationship. Think of how much stronger we will be when we come out the other side."

"We will come out the other side Ella, I'll make sure of it. I love you too."

[x]

The lake was still, the wind had calmed and yet Dad's rundown radio was still managing to pick up some old folk radio station. This was peace that could be drunk. This was bliss that my body could suck in. A calm serenity I had taken for granted would never be taken from me again. With my Dad at my side I felt I could take on the entire world.

With his fishing rod in hand, his eyes cast out towards the lake and his face set in serious determination, I was reminded, not about how seriously Dad takes his fishing, but of how much I loved the man that was my Dad.

When I was little my Dad had been my world, the shining beacon of hope in my otherwise dark world. My yearly summer visits to see him had been like magical adventure quests away from the Evil Queen. Every year I had argued that I should be living with Dad instead but every year that idea was shot down by said Evil Queen. I consoled myself that I would still see him once a year until Renee stopped those visits altogether.

I could never fully put into words just what spending time with Dad meant to me. I felt very lucky to have these special one-on-one moments with Dad. Not, that I ever felt like Bella was pulling focus but sometimes it was nicer when it was just Dad and me. I think Bella understood and as she disliked fishing, she was happy to allow us these moments alone.

"I think you might have a biter Dad."

He leapt up, rocking the boat slightly, before settling back down and glaring at me.

"Thought you could pull one over on your old man, did you?"

I giggled.

"Looks like you might have a biter yourself."

"D-aad, it doesn't work like that," I moaned.

"I'm serious Kiddo," he said before leaping forward to catch my fishing line before it fell in the water.

I turned to look out at the lake, "oh. You were right. What would I do without you?"

"Doesn't bare thinking about Kiddo, the world would probably burn!"