Chapter 26

Leliana was flustered. Being hugged by Alistair had not been the best thing for her hormones.

On the one hand, she was glad. She was really glad that he'd chosen to be his most vulnerable with her. That he trusted her enough for that. But on the other... well...

She'd told herself – repeatedly – that it was a moment of weakness for him, that he really only needed the support. But the truth of the matter was that having his arms around her and being pulled so close and having his face nuzzled into her shoulder had elicited a physical need she usually kept dormant.

It was hard not to be affected. She had feelings for the man, and then to have been in his arms and being unable to do anything... it would frustrate anyone.

Not that she would have acted on her desires. What kind of friend would I be? I'm not here to take advantage of him! She still had a sense of propriety. It was all that was stopping her from confessing what she felt for him.

Leliana knew that she would have to tackle that particular problem one day, but now wasn't the time. Not now. And definitely not here.

Confessing to someone in the midst of battle – though romantic – wasn't really how she wanted it to go. She wanted to sit down with him and have a long, personal talk. That was hard to manage while putting arrows in the eyeballs of darkspawn.

"What do they send next? Darkspawn tax collectors?" Morrigan muttered from somewhere behind her and Leliana chuckled. It was the first them they'd been attacked at camp, though she believed that it was partly due to having chosen to spend the night at Ostagar. The old fort was on the outskirts of the Korcari Wilds, where the Blight was said to have begun. That very morning they'd cleared the ruins of darkspawn. It wasn't surprising that they'd sought to retaliate under the cover of darkness.

The only bit of warning they received was in the form of Aedan and Alistair – who had both been asleep – waking up at the exact same time and calling everyone to attention. The attack came seconds later. There had been no time to armour up. Only Sten was fully in armour. Leliana would not be surprised if the Qunari slept in his armour.

By then the fighting had died down. The attack had been quick and fierce, but they'd been able to repel it. Leliana walked around the bodies, making sure they really were dead.

"Can't get a good night's rest," Oghren moaned as he sat atop the chest of a dead hurlock, drinking ale from a flask. He grinned when she came near. "You want a taste, hotstuff?"

Leliana nocked an arrow and shot it between his legs. It thudded into the hurlock's ribcage. Oghren looked down at the arrow and then up at her. A few inches north, and it would've found another target entirely.

"It was twitching," she replied with a shrug.

"He was twitching," Oghren thundered, "because he's got my axe embedded in his nervous system!" He elucidated his point by giving the haft of his axe a nudge, making the dead darkspawn twitch.

She laughed, thinking up a witty comeback, when she heard collective swearing and gasping and turned back.

Solona lay on the ground, a gaping wound across her chest and stomach. Wynne was already closing it, but even from a distance, she could see the girl shrivelling up before her eyes. Her usually rosy cheeks were deflated, the skin going taut and veins and blood vessels sticking out against it.

She was blighted, Leliana realised, horrified. Nobody ever recovered from that.

"No. Nope. Nope nope nope nope nope. No. Nuh-uh. Not on my watch," Alistair said as he stomped over. Faren, who'd been cradling her head on his lap, looked up at him in surprise.

"But... she's been..."

"I bloody know," he snapped and wheeled around on Zevran. "You. Run to my tent. You'll find a white goblet with some blood in it. Bring that here." When Zevran sped away, he looked around at the others. "Get some vials and collect as much blood from the darkspawn as you can. Aedan, you stay here."

Leliana still didn't get what it was all in aid of, but she complied. Alistair had Solona's best interests in mind and if getting some blood helped save her, she would gladly do so. She only hoped it did help her.

"Morrigan, fetch some lyrium," Alistair said as the others brought back two or three vials of blood each. "Rest of you, dump those vials in this here goblet. Leli, pass it along. Faster, faster. Aedan, off with the amulets, mate."

She'd noticed how they both wore identical amulets. She didn't realise that they were in any way significant. What surprised her most was how Morrigan obeyed without a word. Maybe she cares for Solona more than I thought she did.

After the lyrium was mixed, Aedan and Alistair both broke their amulets and poured blood into the goblet. Leliana crinkled her nose. Why would you carry around blood in an amulet?

"All right. Faren, lift her head up. Wynne, I know it's gross, but you're going to have to make her drink it," Alistair said. When the elderly mage looked up at him as if he'd lost his mind, he smiled bitterly. "All of it."

Then he handed it off to Wynne and knelt by Solona and waved Leliana over.

"D'you know how to feel a pulse?"

"Well, yes."

"Check hers."

So she did. It was weak and dropping quickly. It dropped further and further still as Wynne made her drink the... concoction. Then it faded altogether.

The elderly mage looked at her sadly. Leliana shook her head. "She's-"

"Give it a moment," Alistair muttered and gripped her shoulder. His grip was strong. "Give it a moment."

She was about to argue but stopped herself when she felt her pulse return. Weak at first, but growing stronger and stronger until it levelled out. It was higher than normal.

Solona heaved a deep breath. Her chapped lips quivered. Her eyelids fluttered. She was alive! Feverish, but alive! Maker be thanked!

"You saved her," Wynne exclaimed in astonishment. "How?"

"I didn't save her," Alistair said and Leliana turned to him. He seemed sad. "Not really."

"Alright everybody back away, give her some space to breathe," Aedan said as he herded everybody away. "Morrigan, see to burning these bastards. Sten, you're on guard with Faren. Nobody sleeps tonight."

It was a shared sentiment. Leliana knew there would be no more sleep to be had. She was just happy that Solona was going to be okay.

Speaking of which.

"How did you know what to do?" Leliana asked curiously as she went and stood by Alistair, who was peering into the forest. "I didn't think the blight could be cured."

"You're right. It can't be."

"But you-"

He sighed. "Leli, it's a Warden secret, but since you all just saw it, I don't think it's a secret anymore. Everyone's gonna be asking about it soon enough. And you deserve to know anyway."

Alistair paused, but she knew she wouldn't have to prod. So she just waited.

"The taint can't be cured," he said after a while. "Some die within the hour. Some turn into ghouls, losing their sanity and health over decades. But there are... ways to prolong the effects of the taint from corrupting you. One way is to drink darkspawn blood spiked with lyrium." He smiled at her. "That's how we become Wardens, you know. We drink the blood of darkspawn. We get partially tainted. It's what makes us immune. The ceremony is called the Joining."

"So Solona-"

"Will be a Grey Warden when she wakes up, yes." He waved a hand. "Not all of us make it, however. Three died at my Joining. Two at Aedan's. That amulet? We carry around the blood of the fallen, so that we may never forget. Also a bit from the chalice we're made to drink from. What we administered to Solona wasn't exactly what we'd do with recruits, but it's as close as we can come with limited resources."

She nodded, digesting it all. "And are there... side-effects to this?"

He looked amused. "Oh you know. We go bonkers in about thirty years or so. We can't have kids. We can sense the darkspawn and they in turn can sense us. Fun stuff." He shrugged. "Oh and we eat lo-"

"Alistair," she said quietly, stopping him. "Please."

Just be serious about this for once.

"Sorry." He scratched the back of his head. "What happens is you can hear the Archdemon's song in your head. Like those poor bastards down in the Deep Roads. Remember 'em?" She nodded. "It takes about thirty years for the song to really intensify in your head, though it depends from person to person. You can't think, you can't sleep. Some go mental. So when you feel it coming, you go to Orzammar, enter the Deep Roads and fight darkspawn till you die. Otherwise you turn into a ghoul and that's just no fun at all."

The Maker smiles sadly on his Grey Wardens, as no sacrifice is greater than theirs.

They'd always said that at the Chantry. Leliana had thought that it was because they were the only ones capable of combating a Blight. But the truth was much, much more unfair.

Silently, Leliana reached up and cupped his face, bringing it down so she could press her forehead to his.

"Why did you never tell me?" she asked, sighing tremulously when he wrapped her arms around her waist.

"I didn't want you thinking of me as a dying invalid," he replied simply.

Leliana bit her lip. This is just... absolutely unfair. She gently brushed her nose along his. "I would never."

"Yes, well. A fragile ego is all we men have, you know."

She smiled at that. As did he.

"Alist-"

"Leli-"

They began but stopped at the same time upon hearing a twig snap and sprang apart just as Aedan came up on them and stopped himself.

Every. Bloody. Time! The world's gone around to interrupt all the good moments!

"I didn't expect anybody to be around here," he said. He was clad in his armour, sword and shield at the ready.

"Going somewhere?" Alistair asked.

"Yes."

"Where?"

"Into the wilds."

Leliana blinked in confusion. "Why?"

"I need to see a witch about another," Aedan replied and exchanged a look with Alistair, who tensed up immediately.

"Why?"

"I'll explain later." The man smiled and patted his shoulder. "Good job back there, Alistair. But I have to go now. If I'm not back by daybreak, I know now that I can count on you to finish what we started."

"What is going on here?" Leliana asked at length. "What're you saying?"

"He's going to visit an old friend," Alistair told her and then turned back to Aedan. "But he's not going alone."

Aedan laughed. "You're right. I'm not."

A loud burp was heard as Oghren came ambling after Aedan.

"Certainty of death. Small chance of success." He drank from his flask as he passed them by. "What're we waiting for, Boss?"

Leliana saw Alistair pinch his eyes.

"I'll get suited up," he said. "I don't trust you with him."

"I'll come too," she said.

"No you're not."

"I said I'm coming, didn't I?"

Oghren laughed as he entered the forest. "That's what she said."

One of these days, I'll cut off that damn dwarf's beard.