Not So Cinderella Chapter 54: 54 - Reconciliation, a twilight fanfic

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, I just play in the sandbox. I do lay claim to Ella and all other original characters created.

AN: Sorry for the hiatus, I was on holiday in Vegas! I didn't win any money but I bought a lot of clothes. I'm back now and over my jetlag ~ Hannah

Chapter Fifty-Four – Dating Edward

There are Four part's to this chapter, I've tried to make the transitions smooth and easy to understand but I apologise if they're messy.

Assuming the Cullen home was empty, I sat and the piano and starting playing some basic chords. I had avoided music since the summer for many reasons but without it felt like a part of me was missing somehow.

I hadn't felt the joy or need to sing but something was growing inside of me and yearning to be released. I couldn't face playing in front of others yet, mostly because I didn't think I could handle what their reactions would be. Since arriving, Alec and Jane had become my shadows, which despite no one else understanding, I found incredibly sweat. Like my friendship with Lauren, I was amazed to have become so close to the twins in such a short space of time. I still shied away from Felix but thankfully he didn't seem to take it personally.

Somewhere along the way the chords I was playing became a song and the words flowed from my head as I sang them.

I don't wanna be difficult | At all | But let's just try it my way | I mean c'mon

I've showed you countless numbers of times | That I can do it (I can do it | So for one time in your whole life | Just let me try it (let me try it)

I'd forgotten how freeing singing could be and how some of my best music came when I simply let what I was feeling flow out of me. I suppose this was me voicing my rebellion and standing up for myself. Though I knew everyone was now aware of how their behaviour had been effecting my recovery, I was still holding onto some resentment. I didn't mean too, it was just hard to remember that everyone had made mistakes and needed to learn from them. This was my song of self-empowerment.

I knew someone had walked into my impromptu singing session from the way the hairs on the back of my neck tingled but I was too involved to stop then and there. I was annoyed that my sanctuary had been penetrated but I needed to get what I was feeling off my chest.

What's the harm | To have a little fun? | Been so uptight | I don't mean to fight | I'm just, stay and watch

I've showed you countless numbers of times | That I can do it (I can do it) | So for just once in your whole life | Just let me try it (Let me try it)

All those feelings I had kept hidden and locked away from everyone were spilling out in a rate faster than I could comprehend. It was, in hindsight, the perfect song to lift me from the anger and bitterness. I was better than this feeling, I knew I was.

I see stars, you just see holes in the sky | You tell me you see it too, but I know that's a lie | I dream up into the night, just to see the darkness of your eyes | I won't let you change me tonight

The refreshed feeling in my heart was one I wasn't used to anymore. The warmth and the joy spread out throughout my body until here was no room left for bitter feelings. I felt lighter in my chest and in my head. I suppose you could say it was another turning point.

There was a moment of silence as the last piano note was struck before I heard gentle clapping behind me. I turned and spotted Alec and Jane. I was embarrassed to have been caught so vulnerable. That's what I was, vulnerable, singing with my soul on display in a way I hadn't done since before the summer. It was exhilarating, getting out all the frustration and the anger towards others and how I'd been feeling through song. I'd forgotten how relaxing it could be.

"We didn't realise you were so good at singing."

"Didn't anyone show you any videos of me? I know there are plenty of my past songs on recordings."

"I don't think that even passed their minds. Probably something to do with not wanting us to get any closer."

"Ha! Like that's not going to happen."

"Exactly, we didn't say it was the right thing to do. We came to tell you that Edward's looking for you. We didn't know whether you wanted to see him or not."

"If you ask me, he's being a complete jerk!" said Jane.

"We can dispose of him if you want," said Alec.

"No, it's alright. As much as I know you would like me to allow that, I cannot. I love him, despite all the chaos that has happened. Things have changed but if I still want him in my life I must make a conscious effort. I don't want to continue acting the part of being in a loving relationship, I want to actually be in one."

"Well, if he hurts you, he's getting our combined powers thrust upon him."

"I wouldn't expect anything less. Now, try not to cause too much trouble while I'm away."

[x]

It was awkward walking into Edward's room when I hadn't been there for so long. I almost felt like an intruder, a ghost of a time gone by. I meant what I said to the twins, I did want to have a real relationship again and that meant working through our problems to become something better than we were. Edward wasn't the only person in the wrong here, we'd both made mistakes and we'd both suffered from it. I wish I had been more assertive when the Cullen's had left during the summer and I wish I had demanded that Edward speak to me, hounding him till he did. I wished that Edward hadn't left it the first place and I wished he didn't blame him for what happened in his absence.

"I thought we should talk."

"About what Edward?"

"You know, all that's happened."

"That's rather vague."

"Don't make this difficult."

"I want you to sit in on a session with Jasper."

"Why?"

"Because I think you need the insight. We're at a crossroads Edward. I want to move forward but I'm not sure about you. You'll never let go of this anger you have until you learn what happened to me. I didn't betray you, I know you think that I did and that I just can't remember but I didn't. You can't blame me for something that didn't happen nor can you blame me for not being able to protect myself from unseen forces."

"Why is it all my fault? You made mistakes as well."

"I didn't say it was all your fault. Yes, I made mistakes. I shouldn't have been so trusting, I shouldn't have been so vulnerable and I shouldn't have let you leave at the beginning of the summer. We both made mistakes Edward but bringing them back up again isn't helping anyone."

"You guys alright up here? The shouting was getting very loud."

"Jasper, I want to have another session, now."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes! This moron here needs to know that I am not to blame here. He needs to let go of his anger and his hurt. He needs to realise what really happened so we can move on from things. Now Jasper!"

I was heaving with anger. I knew it wasn't the right frame of mind to sink into a hypnosis with but I needed Edward to realise what had happened and that his behaviour wasn't acceptable anymore.

[x]

Incredibly Rare Edward P.O.V

Ella's breathing slowed then levelled out as Jasper counted her down and into hypnosis. I was being less than gentlemanly. I was being a douche but I didn't seem to have an off switch. I'd lived my life for so long a certain way and now couldn't work out how to change. I HAD to change, I knew that much. Ella deserved much better than what I was giving her and my family deserved much better than the wayward son/grumpy sibling they'd become accustomed to.

I was, I think, angrier at myself than I was Ella but it was that feeling of the unknown that I was so not used to that was clouding my opinions and actions. It was an excuse I was happy to hide behind because it stopped me from seeing the truth.

I was wrong.

I shouldn't have left Ella.

I had made her vulnerable.

I needed to protect her.

I had failed my mate.

I had failed my mate!

"Alright Ella, you're in your safe place. Tell me what Marco did to you."

"What he did to me?"

"Yes, that's right. Don't tell me what has happened, just tell me what he did."

"Marco, he wanted to take me away. Promised me all my dreams would come true. He wanted me to submit to him."

"Submit?"

"Give everything up and become his. He tried to trick me. He used me."

"What happened?"

"He told me Edward was dead."

"Edward's dead?"

"No, no, he's not dead. Why would you say that? You want me too, don't you? Don't take me. I can't leave. I must get back for Edward, I can't leave him. Don't make me leave him. He's not dead, he's not dead, I-I can'."

Ella's breathing had sped up, I could clearly see her panic and could feel the pain she was in. She was hysterical.

"Ella, relax, calm down. It's Jazz, your brother, you're safe. Edward's alive, he isn't dead. It was all a dream, Edward wouldn't leave you. Return to what Marco said but remember that Edward's alive."

"Edward's alive?"

"Yes."

"Edward's alive, good, good. Need Edward."

"He's here, Ella. Now take us back."

"Marco tried to force his feelings on me. His manipulations didn't work and it frustrated him but he tried to penetrate my brain all the same. It hurt, like a stabbing pain shooting through my skull. He wanted to take Edward from me but I wouldn't let him. He tried to use soft caresses to get me to cooperate but I shied away from them. His touches made me feel unclean, sickly even. He didn't feel like Edward, he wasn't Edward and I didn't want him."

"Did he ever do anything more than soft touches?"

"No, no. I was scared he might, scared I wouldn't be able to fight him off but he never did. He could be violent but never sexually."

I could feel myself release a big breath, it was of course a big worry of mine that this had happened and she'd just forgotten. I didn't know how I could live with that having happened to her and felt betrayed at the mere thought of it. I had unfairly judged her. I'd heard things about Marco and had reacted accordingly to the worst thoughts of my head. Ella hadn't deserved that and I'd thought about things so long, I assumed them to be true. Merlin, I had a lot to make up for.

"The place Marco wanted to take me where all my dreams would come true wasn't real."

"How do you know?"

"Because the only place I wanted to be was in Edward's arms and Marco didn't want that to happen. For every painful word, raised hand and forced memory, I had Edward's voice in my head. He protected me even from so far away, he kept me safe and warm and he gave me a reason to keep fighting. He made me not give up, he gave me hope that things would get better. He was my light in the dark. Do you think he'll forgive me?"

"Edward? I think he already has."

"Do you think he'll still love me?"

I could only narrowly avoid Jasper's penetrating stare as I looked upon Ella's meekness. The session I felt, was ending and I could only think of what an utter arse I'd been. Ella had been through so much this summer and I had only put her through more with my own behaviour. I had forgiven her, of course I had, if I had any doubt in my mind that she was an innocent victim it had been eradicated in watching this session.

Did I love Ella?

More than anything in the world but the fact that she had to ask if I did, showed how much had been lost the last couple of months. I did not want to lose the most important person in my life and to do so I would have to start living for her. I would have to stop listening to the advice of others and I would have to stop refusing to change as the world around me evolved. Ella needed someone who would love her unconditionally and someone who would support her though everything. I was determined to be that man.

[x]

Back to Ella P.O.V

"Did Edward leave?" I asked as I woke from the hypnosis.

"Yes, but not for the reasons you think."

"Then why?"

"He had his eyes opened Ella but he has a lot of thinking to do. He knows how wrong he was now and knows how much he needs to make things up to you."

"Oh. Jazz, do you think we'll get through this?"

"I have no doubt that you will, you both love each other very much."

"Thanks Jazz."

I was, busy sorting through my mind in the aftermath of my latest session with Jasper when I finally was Edward again. I was feeling a little emotionally drained from the latest session. Just knowing the sheer lengths that Marco went to, to win my affections made me a little sick. I was stronger than I realised and for that small morsel of information I was proud.

Edward walked towards me with a bunch of handpicked flowers in his hands. Tied together with a piece of old string, the thrust them towards me as his face displayed vulnerability and apprehension. Accepting them, I brought them up to my nose to smell the delicate fragrances that mingled together, giving Edward time to collect himself before I allowed my eyes to meet his.

"May I take you out Ella?"

"You may."

"Would you like to go now?"

"Alright."

I was lucky my bag was on the couch by us for I didn't think Edward would have waited for me to get it, had it been upstairs. My heart was beating wildly and my hands were sweaty in nervous anticipation. Edward's face was tense, the only sign I knew to mean he was as nervous as I was.

He drove. Fast.

I did not know where he wanted to take me and I did not care for knowing. I was with Edward, however fractured our relationship was at present, I knew with confidence that I was always safe with him. It was silent during the car ride but not as awkward as I would have thought. He'd thoughtfully but the radio on and that helped a little. I guess he had a lot on his mind. I don't know how he took the session he watched earlier, Jazz was convinced that he had come out from it with a positive outlook but I couldn't be sure until he had confirmed it with me.

Edward was, unlike anyone I had ever met. I felt like I was behaving unkindly by asking him to change. He certainly wouldn't ask me to change for him and yet I was asking the same of him. I wanted to turn to him and tell him everything was fine between us but had to stop and remember that this change was good for us. If we ignored the problems between us, they'd only get worse.

From the high-rise buildings that ended my vision and the lack of greenery, I guessed we were in Seattle.

"What are we doing here?"

"I just thought we could take a walk around without any prying eyes and stop anywhere that interests us."

"I like that, it's like a date with no expectations."

"Exactly, can I offer you my arm Milady?"

"Thank you, kind Sir."

It was just what we needed, I suppose, for walking around with Edward made me remember all that had come to pass. All the happiness we had shared, all the love and drama. All the ups and downs. It made me remember how Edward had stood by me through everything. How he had become my rock. How he had become my best friend. How, underneath everything that had happened, my love for him never wavered. In fact, it only got stronger and now, the intense love I felt for him was stronger than ever before.

A part of me felt foolish for adding to the drama that had circled us. I had known it to be necessary at the time and even now knew what we had both shared would be beneficial to the improvement of our relationship but did that really matter right now? I was sick of all that had happened and though I'd vowed to make Edward take the first step, I couldn't hold up my end of the bargain. I couldn't wait any longer.

I stopped us in the street, Edward looking at me curiously. I could tell her was nervous about why I had stopped us. I could see his uncertainty and concern lingering behind the façade he'd put up.

Trying not to think too much about things, I kissed him with as much passion as I could muster. Surprised only slightly when he readily met my kiss in hungry abutment. Only breaking for air when my human body demanded it, I took some much-needed gulps of air before looking at Edward once more.

"Edward, I love you. I always have, that's not going to change. I need you and I to be here in the now, everything else we can work through but I can't continue keeping you at arm's length."

"I love you too Ella. I will always love you and I will always put you first. We will work through anything else."

[x]

"Is that the door? Who would be knocking now, I didn't think we were expecting anyone."

"We aren't."

Getting up to answer the door meant I had to get out of Edward's arm. Something I was loathed to do but did anyway. Bella was off somewhere with Adrian but Jasper, Alice, Alec and Jane were lounging in my house with Edward and me.

"Hi Ella, this isn't a bad time, is it?" asked Lauren, "I just haven't seen you in a while and thought we could catch up."

On the inside, I was shitting myself but on the outside, I managed to remain calm.

"Of course not. We have company mind, family friend's that have come for a visit."

"Family friend's?"

"From my Dad's side. Heaven forbid I ever meet any of Renee's friends!"

We both gagged in mock horror and I led Lauren inside. Of course, I knew that keeping Lauren and the Volturi apart was going to be a lost cause in the end. It was Felix mostly that I didn't trust but I didn't want Lauren to be mixed up in all this if I could help it.

As it turned out, I couldn't help it, for one look at Alec looking at Lauren fucked everything up.

· Song Ella sings is; Grace VanderWaal's 'Sick of Being Told'