For reference, this takes place about a week or so before the Don't Fear the Reaper Interlude

Aberdeen. A city I'd never been to. I'd probably be more interested in the history of the city, if I wasn't here for a reason.

I looked up at the hospital and suppressed a shudder. I hated hospitals, nothing good ever happened to me in there. If I wanted to be depressing I could add being born on that list, but that's pushing it.

I walked through the automatic doors and walked up to the receptionist, who was on the phone.

"One moment dearie." She said quietly to me in a Scottish accent before turning back to the phone. After a minute or so she put it down and smiled at me.

"What can I do fer ya?" She asked.

"Erm, I'm here to see Alfred O'Donnell." I said slightly nervously. He'd called me yesterday saying that he wanted to talk to me. He hadn't been doing well the past couple of months, and had been slowly giving me some of the Head work. Now that I was here all my worries about his health were coming back.

"Can I get yer name love?" Asked the receptionist and I gave it. She looked up the records and nodded.

"Yer listed in his kin." She said. "I'll get someone to see you up."

I took a seat in the reception area and I waited impatiently, tapping my finger against my knee. It took every bit of self control I had to not start freezing things, that's how much I hated hospitals.

"Jacqueline Davies?" Someone called and I stood up and walked over to the nurse.

"That's me."

She smiled. "This way please."

I followed her deeper into the hospital, trying not to look at everyone I walked past. It seemed to be everything from sprained wrists to bloody injuries in here.

"Your uncle is a tough old man." Said the nurse and I had roll with the lie that Alfred had cooked up so I could visit. "Hasn't given in."

"Good to hear." I said.

"So, you're from America?" she asked, and I nodded.

"Long way." She commented.

"I guess." I had come by Tunnel, so it wasn't an issue, not that she was going to know that. "He asked me to come, so here I am."

"You weren't going to come on your own?"

"I, I don't know. I'm not a fan of hospitals." It was a weak excuse, and I think she knew that, but didn't press. I didn't care if she thought I was being a bad family member, if that was the case then so be it.

Truth was, I knew Alfred was dying. He wouldn't give me the work if it wasn't a possibility, and he was in his nineties now. I had no desire to see him in such a state, let alone dying.

We finally stopped at a room and the nurse opened the room.

"Jacqueline's here to see you." She said, and before Alfred could respond she tutted and strode in. I looked in to see her close the window.

"Why do people keep doing that?" She asked, more to herself. "You'll catch your death."

I couldn't help it, I said. "Please don't joke about that."

The nurse looked back at me, and understanding crossed her face. She suddenly knew why I had been so reluctant, I'd lost family before.

"Sorry. I'll leave you two in peace."

She stepped out and I stepped in. Once she had left I opened the window again, it was roasting in here.

"Jackie." Said Alfred, his voice croaky, but strong.

"Alfred." I said, looking at the floor, I didn't want to look, didn't want to see.

"Lass, ye can look at me."

I looked up and it was as bad as I feared.

It was like he'd aged a decade in a few months, machines of all kinds were hooked up to him, a drip included. His hands, while they had been knarled with age, seemed almost lifeless while his face looked gaunt.

His eyes still sparked though, but even that seemed dulled.

He smiled. "Don't look so sad lass, I'm fine."

I snorted. "You don't look it."

He chuckled, a sound that sounded horribly like a cough. "Fair point lass." His gaze grew serious. "Now, take a seat, there's somethin' I need to ta tell ye."

I frowned, but took the chair in the corner of the room, moved it over to the bed and sat down in it.

"Good. Sorry ta drag ya here like this, but this couldn't wait."

"Please don't say that."

"Denyin' it's happenin' won't stop it." Said Alfred before continuing. "Might as well not beat around the bush lass, I want you to be Head."

"I know that." I said, frowning, "You've been saying that for years, and my answer is still no."

"Ye've bin handling the paperwork fine!" He said. "And this isn't me sayin' it. I'm nominating ye lass."

My eyes widened. This was official, he wasn't just saying it anymore, he was actually...

"Why? Alfred, I'm not... I..."

"I chose you fer a reason." Alfred relaxed into his bed slightly.

"Why me? Why not, Stephen, Mary, Rachel? Heck, Chris or Graham!"

"Stephen? Good man I'll admit, too much of a yes man, 'e won't object strongly to something if he thinks it's wrong unless pushed. Mary, too much of a battle mind, she'd sooner attack first and ask questions later. Rachel is too protective of Alice, and of ye, a leader has to have faith in those they lead. Chris loves his snowboard too much, and Graham? Seriously lass? 'Is head is too buried 'is comics!"

Alfred appraised me, looking me up and down. "You, on the other hand. Admittedly you're not perfect, too independent, you'd sooner sort it out on yer own than let someone help ye. However, you don't take crap from anyone, and Jason can get too big fer 'is boots sometimes. Need someone to bring him down a peg or two. And, ye always do what you think is right, consequences be damned! Nothing stops you if someone you care about is in danger."

Alfred paused and chuckled. "Plus, it's tradition fer the most powerful to take command. Like it or no, that's still you."

"How are we traditional?"

"We aren't, don't matter though. You seem to have a knack fer knowin' what needs to be done, even if you are too proud to let someone else more qualified to handle it."

"Hey!" I said, annoyed while Alfred chuckled.

"It's the truth, cannabe blind to yer own faults lass."

Alfred leaned back. "That should be it lass. I've already filled out things fer the other Heads, I imagine that yer Oath takin' will happen after I shuffle off."

"Don't." I said, already having had enough of death talk.

"Cannae deny it lass. I'm an old man."

"You're not dying." I insisted, feeling tears building up in my eyes. "You're not..."

"Jackie."

I looked back up at him.

"Ye need ta be strong, you hear? People die, that's how it is. No point gettin' upset about it."

"I can't..." Tears started to fall to my shame, freezing to face.

"Lass, it's okay."

"No it's not!"

"It's nature's way, and we are Descended from someone who can control parts of nature. Can't deny that, can we?"

"It's not fair!" I cried, hating how childish I sounded.

"Ye've seen more death than someone should have, true." Said Alfred softly. "And I'm sorry lass, I am really sorry fer doin' this to ya, but it's the way of things."

I brushed a hand over my face, rubbing off the frozen tears.

"Just, when I do go. Don't do what you did with Daniel, don't shut yerself off again, don't ye dare. It didn't help you then and it won't help you later."

I didn't reply and Alfred sighed.

"Ye probably got sick of hearin this one, but it doesn't make it less true. Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened."

"I hate that phrase."

"Doesn't surprise me, but, just smile. Fer me?"

I looked up, and forced a smile.

"What was that?" Alfred laughed. "Ye look like ye're tryin' ta pass gas!"

I snorted with laughter, a true smile crossing my face.

"Tha's better lass." Alfred was still laughing, then he looked over at the door.

"I suppose you'd better get back lass. You've got work ta do no doubt."

"I guess."

I stood up and looked over at Alfred, wondering if I was ever going to see him again.

"Better shut the window, eh lass? Before nursie starts to panic."

I smirked and went to shut the window. As it shut there was a loud beeping from the machinery. My head shot over and I saw that the machine monitoring his heart was the one that had gone. He had flatlined.

"NO!" I screamed, running over and shaking him. "ALFRED! DON'T DO THIS TO ME! ALFRED!"

A nurse ran in and called for a doctor, all the while trying to get me to leave. I couldn't hear what she was saying, all I could think about was Alfred, and the fact that I was probably spreading frost right now.

I was still screaming his name, I didn't want to believe it, even as I got forced into a side room, I was still crying.

Why? Why did he have to die?

I stopped screaming and just started crying, my cheeks becoming thick with frozen tears. I could vaguely hear Taboo talking to me in the back of my head from all the way in Burgess, trying to help me get a grip.

A nurse came in a little while later when I'd composed myself, and told me that while they had tried to help him, Alfred had died.

I just felt numb now, a very different reaction from my screaming fit earlier.

"Do you want to talk to anyone?" Asked the nurse, and I shook my head.

"No, thanks."

She left me alone and I sat down, wanting to shrink in within myself and shut everything out.

Don't do what you did with Daniel, don't shut yerself off again, don't ye dare.

Alfred's words rang through my head, and I sighed. It was tempting, so tempting, to let history repeat itself. Yet, I knew I shouldn't, I couldn't. I was older now, this death wasn't my fault, there was no need to do that, and, when I did do that, I essentially let myself heal wrong.

It was like when a bone heals but doesn't align itself properly, and it needs to be broken again for it heal like it should. That's what happened with me, and it took seven years for that to change, and some of that damage was irreparable.

I wouldn't do it again. I'll mourn properly, and I'll be strong, I have to be this time.