Thank you to SACarter for wonderful review last chapter (note the sarcasm even though I do appreciate it and it did make me laugh). Therefore you get another chapter.

Chapter Quote:
"It's been a pleasure, she-wolf."
~Shay Doran, Nightshade

Chapter 12

Elsa

Over the course of the next couple months, my life became hectic between balancing school, dance, and pack duties. I had no time for myself but at the same time, I felt much better ever since I'd talked to Hunter. My relationship with dad improved tenfold. Mom and I became closer than we already were, and Ember and I hung out more. For the first time in a while, I felt like I belonged with my family, that I didn't always have to be so strong.

I was more talkative to everyone, even to people I had never met before. Conversations with Spencer, while they had always been entertaining before, they'd become even better. But I started to notice something in him because it was what Hunter had noticed in me: he was hiding something that was bothering him.

Neither Spencer nor I talked much about our family, and I was pretty sure he'd looked into my family after Thea and Riley started trying to intimidate him. Funny thing was he seemed unfazed by their efforts. Whether that's because he was really just ignorant about what they were warning him of or if he didn't care, I don't know, but it was kind of refreshing to have a human who wasn't dead scare of me at first sight.

I was in the middle of AP Psychology when my stomach growled loudly. I guiltily looked around to see if anyone else heard it. Unless the kid sleeping in the desk next to me heard it, I was going to go with no. I pulled out my phone and started to text Spencer, asking him if he knew if we were trying on our tango outfits today. He responded almost immediately saying that we were. I was ecstatic! For me, whenever I think about the tango, I think of the color red. But while we were going to use red in the outfit, it wasn't going to be the main color. My instructor wanted my dress black with red crystals sewn into it. I couldn't wait to try it on! I replied to Spencer saying thank you and put my phone back in my pocket only to have it vibrate a few seconds later. I pulled it out and read the text:

From: Spencer- Aren't you in class?

I hurriedly replied back.

To: Spencer- Yeah, AP Psych. It's so boring today. I usually love it too. Although I might be too hungry to focus…

From: Spencer- When is lunch?

To: Spencer- In an hour. I'm hoping I can wait that long and that my growling stomach doesn't wake up the kid next to me…

From: Spencer- Haha do you want me to come bail you out?

To: Spencer- No but thank you :)

From: Spencer- What's for lunch today?

To: Spencer- Hopefully not a mystery meat sandwich. I might leave and drag Thea with me to get take-away from somewhere.

From: Spencer- Do you want me to bring you lunch?

To: Spencer- Oh no that's too much trouble for you but thank you!

From: Spencer- It's no trouble at all, I'm in town anyway. What do you want? :)

To: Spencer- You're my favorite person right now. Could you pick me up a burger from Dairy Queen along with a large twist ice cream? Ice cream sounds so good right now. I'll pay you back too!

From: Spencer- You're not paying me back, it's my treat. Since there's only one high school in the area, I'm going to assume that's where you go?

To: Spencer- How on earth did you figure that one out? Haha yeah, that's the school. I'll see you in an hour. Thank you so much! You're the best!

From: Spencer- Any time! See you soon!

I slipped my phone in pocket and was unable to keep a small smile off my face the rest of the class period. When the bell rang dismissing us, I was the first one out the door. I quickly shoved stuff into my locker and took out the things I needed before Thea and Josilyn came over. I made my way downstairs and to the front door of the school. Spencer, looking totally gorgeous with his cropped blonde hair and leather jacket, was waiting for me outside the office, Dairy Queen bag and ice cream in hand. He was getting so many stares from the girls that walked past that I suddenly felt… almost territorial about him. But if he saw any of them, he gave no indication. His eyes were only on me. We both were smiling as I walked up and hugged him.

"You're the best dance partner anyone could ask for," I claimed, taking the food from him.

"I see you survived AP Psychology," he said with a grin.

"Only because I had you and food to look forward to. I only have one more class after this thank god."

"Block schedule?"

"Yeah. I don't have a class at the beginning of the day or at the end so I have half days every other day. It's wonderful."

"What do you do with the extra time in the afternoon?"

"Work on homework."

"Do you ever have any time to relax?" Spencer laughed. "You're always on the go, aren't you?"

"I like to keep moving."

"Don't you ever just… want to have a day to relax though?"

I shrugged. "I have my reasons. I should get going. Josilyn and Thea are going to be coming down soon and it's better if they don't see you. I mean Josie is harmless but Thea…"

"Will try to scare me away like she keeps trying to do in hip hop?"

"I've tried to get her to stop. I'm so sorry," I said, giving him a guilty look.

He smiled. "I know where I stand in this town. The Laroches run it."

"So why aren't you high-tailing away from us?" I queried.

"The enjoyment I get from hanging out and talking to you is higher than the fear of your family. What are you doing on Saturday?" I had patrols all day that day. I made up a lie saying that it was family day and that I had to stay home. "What about Sunday?"

"It's complicated… my dad doesn't like us hanging out with strangers. I'd say you could come meet him but he's not the most rational being right now. Why?"

"I was thinking we could hang out. And just as friends if that's any consolation to your dad," Spencer said. I bit my lip. The invitation was so tempting. I wanted to get to know Spencer, the details of him. I knew what he liked, what he didn't, but I still felt like I didn't know him. I wanted to.

"He's keeping us on pretty strict lockdown but I guess it depends on what time you were thinking."

"Afternoon?"

"You know what? I'll make up something. Count me in. But don't mention it in front of Thea or Riley at dance. If my brother finds out, I'm screwed. Possibly dead. You would definitely be dead."

"My lips are sealed. I'll see you later, Elsa." Spencer gave me one last hug. Right as he exited the door, Josilyn and Thea came up to me.

"How on earth did you get Dairy Queen?" Thea demanded jealously.

"Had a friend bring it. Come on, let's get to our table before some human tries to take it. Hopefully the others are already there." Sure enough, Laurel, Barry, Akira, and Sebastian were waiting for us at our usual table. I was sort of the pack leader at school at school now. Not because I was oldest, but because I had the attitude. And probably because I was a Laroche.

"How on earth did you get Dairy Queen?" Barry whined, looking hungrily at my ice cream.

"Had a friend bring it. How's your day been?" I asked, wanting to get off the subject of my lunch.

"Good. Who brought your lunch for you?" Sebastian asked.

"My dance partner. He was in town and I was texting him. End of story. Who has patrol tonight?"

"I do with Akira, Ember, and Jake. Ember's our 'alpha' of the pack. You're the alpha for your patrol group right?"

"Yeah. I'm on Saturdays and Wednesdays." The group started splitting off into different conversations after that. Akira was talking to Thea, but mainly listening to the latter speak whatever was on her mind. Akira didn't speak much. She was could hunt and kill but she was so shy, shyer than Josilyn. It was what made her the omega. But she was sweet when she did talk.

"So, your friend, Spencer, why were you texting him?" Josilyn inquired. I knew she meant no harm in the question. She was genuinely interested, but I treaded carefully in case she told Hunter. My brother would have a fit and it'd be bye-bye freedom for me.

"I was asking him if we trying on our tango outfits today. We ended up on the topic of my hunger and he offered to bring me lunch," I explained.

"You trust him when we're being hunted?"

"I do, actually. I don't know why I do."

"He's certainly making an impression by not being scared of us. Hunter is annoyed by that."

"Spencer said that, and I quote, the enjoyment he gets from talking and hanging out with me is bigger than the fear that our family is trying to instill in him."

"That doesn't worry you that maybe he could be… I don't know, a-"

"No, it doesn't. He's been alone with my plenty of times. If he was one of them, he would've done something by now."

"I'm just worried about everyone I guess. Sorry," Josilyn said shyly.

"I know you are. But you don't need to worry about me. I can handle myself. I've always been able to," I told her with a smile. "Besides, there's nothing else going on between me and Spencer. He and I are just friends. It's not like we're hanging out after school or anything."

Josilyn nodded, accepting the big fat lie I'd just told her. I felt horrible lying to her, but I also wanted to go out on Sunday with Spencer. I wanted to have fun with someone outside of my pack. I loved meeting new people, but being in the town we were in, and being in the family I was in, that was pretty much something that was not going to happen. I had to keep my Sunday escapade a secret.

Sunday…

Sunday came too slowly. When it was time for me to go, I dressed as I would to go to dance which consisted of a tank top, yoga pants, and a pair of heels because I had to know how to dance the tango in heels. I drove down my driveway and once the compound was out of sight, pulled the car over to the side so I could switch into a more casual outfit. I wore jeans, a white tank top, a gray cardigan sweater, and sneakers. It was only October, but it could still get pretty chilly out. Like I said, Colorado had weird weather. You never knew what the temperatures were going to be here in the fall, and in the spring too.

I drove down to the public parking lot. I easily found Spencer leaning against his motorcycle and pulled into the empty parking space next to him.

"Hey," I greeted, getting out.

"Hi," he replied, giving me a hug. He handed me a helmet. "Hope you don't mind riding a motorcycle."

"As long as you're driving," I said, putting the helmet on. We got onto the motorcycle and he drove off to Rocky Mountain National Park. He was a good driver but I would always tighten my grip around his torso when we went around curves. I'd never been on a motorcycle so this was a whole new experience for me.

We pulled onto the road that led to Bear Lake. It had a half-mile trail that went around this really pretty Alpine lake. I'd been here once or twice when I was little. There weren't many people there when we arrived which was no problem for me. The only ones I saw looked like native Coloradoans. Spencer and I got off the motorbike. The two of us headed down the pathway in silence. It was comfortable. I was thoroughly enjoying the view of the mountains, lake, and my companion. About halfway down the trail, Spencer strayed into the woods, climbing up a steep hill.

"What are you doing?" I asked, watching him climb onto a rock.

"Exploring. Come on," he replied in a playful tone. I hesitated but followed. We went farther up into the woods and I was starting worry. Where exactly was he leading me? When I voiced my opinion, he simply said, "You'll see. I promise you won't regret it. It's not much farther. You'll love it."

About five minutes later, I saw what my friend meant. It was a small lake, maybe a quarter of the size of Bear Lake. Wildflowers that were on the last legs of their life still bloomed around it. The banks of the lake had flat stones that were perfect for skipping on water which Spencer was already doing.

"How did you find this place?" I asked, marveling at the beauty of it.

"I have a lot of spare time on my hands and while my friend and her friend are out and about doing their business, I sneak off and do things on my own. They don't know about it. Like your family, they're pretty strict about leaving the house unaccompanied. But I come here because it's out of the way. It's a good place to think."

"Why are you friends so strict with you?" I questioned, throwing a rock across the water.

"Some… things happened to us in the past that have made them extremely paranoid right now. What about you? Why are your parents so strict with you?"

"Similar to you I guess. Our past is kind of dark and it's made my dad in particular become extremely overprotective of me. My brother is helping him get past that thankfully."

"What happened to your family?"

"You didn't look us up? It's just that most people do when they find out we've endured a couple tragedies," I added hastily.

Spencer replied, "I figured it wasn't my business and that if I should find out exactly what happened to your family, I figured you should tell me because then you want me to know."

"You're a really good guy, has anyone ever told you that?"

Spencer laughed. "Just by my friends."

"What about your family?" I asked.

At this, Spencer's cheerfulness dissipated. "My friends are my family. It's a… complicated story."

"Well I have plenty of time. I told my parents that I'd be gone for a while 'trying on clothes' for dance so they're not worried. Besides, I get the feeling you haven't told anyone and you need someone to talk to. I suck at solving my own problems but I'm a good listener so if you need someone to lend an ear, I'm all yours," I offered, hoping I didn't sound too much like an idiot. Spencer gazed at me for a few moments, I guess trying to decide if I was being genuine in what I was saying. He nodded and looked away at the mountains in the distance for a while before sitting down on a massive rock that was strangely the perfect height and size for sitting. I sat next to him.

"When I was a baby, I was dropped off at an… orphanage of sorts. It was people my parents knew that took in orphans. For three years I lived there until this couple adopted me. A few years later, they took in a girl. She ended up being my girlfriend for a while. After that was another girl and lastly was a boy. We were really close and happy and I loved my life. I had two best friends, an amazing girlfriend…"

"What happened?" I prodded gently.

"My adoptive parents… they'd been lying to me since I'd been with them. See, I'd grown this resentment towards my real parents because I thought their reason for getting rid of me was because they didn't want me even though in a note they'd left, it'd said they couldn't take care of me financially. I found out that not only was that not the case, but my adoptive parents were actually my real parents. My dad had sent me to retrieve something from the safe and I came across this letter from the people I'd been dropped off at saying that 'your son Spencer is doing well.' At first I thought it was a teacher letter but then I realized that the letter was dated when I was only one year old. I shouldn't have known my parents then and they shouldn't have known me. I brought it up with them, found out my adoptive parents were my real parents and that my girlfriend also knew of the secret. The other two living with us had no idea. I got so angry that they never told me."

"What was their explanation for not telling you?"

"They said they wanted to but when they saw how much resentment I had to my 'parents', that they wanted me to love them as who I thought they were than who they really were." Spencer halted in his speech. Pain was etching itself onto his face. "After they said that, my temper flared so much and I told them that I then didn't love them as either, told my girlfriend we were over, and went on a walk in our woods. My friend came to talk to me. He convinced me to go back and talk to them. My other friend had gone to help out at our family business. See, what happens next is because my parents were powerful and that made enemies. When my friend I were heading back, we saw the explosion. There was nothing else it could've been but I hoped that it wasn't true. When I arrived at my house, it was on fire. The other friend came over to us and we just sat there until the original people I'd been dropped off with came to get us. My friend tried to convince me that it wasn't my fault, and I know it wasn't my fault that they died but what I am finding so hard to live with is the fact that my parents thought I hated them in the last minutes of their lives. My girlfriend thought I hated her before she died and now I'm just in this… this slump in my life that I can't seem to get out of. The dancing helps but when I'm with my friends, I feel I'm the third wheel. I feel alone, worthless, guilty… and I can't get those feelings out of my head. I don't know. It's hard to explain."

I was staring at him. I could feel the knot in my throat because I knew exactly what he was going through. "Depression. You're depressed."

Spencer nodded. "It's not severe. Not yet at least. I'm not hurting myself or anything like that. I don't know if it'll get worse. I can't tell my friends. They worry about me enough and they're trying to figure out who killed my parents. And I don't think they'd understand. They thought a change of scenery would do me good but it hasn't. I just don't have the heart to tell them that."

I placed my hand over his. He glanced up at me curiously. "They may not understand, but I do."

It immediately dawned on Spencer as to what I was meaning. "You had depression?"

I gulped, wondering if telling him was the right thing to do. I'd never told anyone that I'd had depression. Absolutely no one. Caleb knew I went through a small period of depression after Anna died, but no one knew I went through it after he left. "Twice. Once when my twin sister Anna died and then again when my older brother, Caleb, ran away. Anna was murdered by three men who broke into our house. They tried to kill my brother Caleb who had been watching her. My parents killed the men in self-defense and in defense of their kids. Hunter never treated Caleb the same afterwards though. They were always arguing and Hunter was always saying Anna's death was Caleb's fault. But Caleb was my rock during the aftermath of that. I cried every night for a year and a half. His room was right next to mine. He'd hear me and would come into my room and comfort me. I'd also have these nightmares that I'd wake up shaking and sweating from and I'd always go to him. He'd stay up with me until I fell asleep again. Then one day, Hunter told Caleb that it should've been him who died instead of Anna that day and a couple weeks later, Caleb left. I became reclusive. During the summer, I was sleeping and I barely ate. I hid it from my parents. I'd never really eaten breakfast before so that didn't raise any questions. My mom noticed that I wasn't eating as much at dinner and brought it up with me. I lied to her, saying that I wasn't as hungry as I used to be. I've always been a good liar so I knew my heart wouldn't flutter and give me away. My mom bought it but said I needed to get active. She made me choose a thing to do and I chose dance. I've been doing it for four years and it's the best thing that's happened to me since Caleb left."

"You never told anyone you had depression?" Spencer asked softly.

I shook my head. "My mom and dad nearly divorced over the whole situation of Caleb leaving because my mom wanted to keep searching for him but my dad said that if he wanted to be found, he'd would've called us by then. I didn't think anyone other than my parents would understand so I-I hid it and it never got to a dangerous point. I'd seen what Anna's death and Caleb running away did to my parents, the pain it put them through, and I didn't want to put them through any more of that kind of pain. But I was still hurt. I still hurts, it's just… not as bad as before. When you asked me the other about why I keep moving, why I never seem to relax, it's because when I do, I think of Anna. I think of Caleb. That's when the pain comes back. When I'm moving or busy with something, I'm fine. My mind focuses on the task at hand. But when I go to bed… I can't get Anna and Caleb out of my head. I know there's nothing I could've done to save Anna. But Caleb… maybe if I'd talked to him. He showed no signs that he was going to run away. He'd always stay in his room for a week or two after a fight with Hunter. At least the big ones so none of us thought anything of it until he didn't come down to lunch one afternoon. Mom went to his room and found some of his stuff gone. She panicked. We had everyone out looking for him but he didn't want to be found. We stopped after a month or two. He's out there somewhere. I hope one day he comes back. I hope he knows that no matter what happened, he can always come home. He is always welcome back home," I said.

Spencer turned his hand over so he could lace his fingers through mine. "Well, you said to me earlier that if I need someone to talk to, you would lend an ear to me. I want you to know that if you ever need to talk to anyone, let me know. Text, call, in person, whatever works for you."

"Thank you. I'm glad we did this. I can't explain it but I feel a lot better after today. I'm glad you convinced me to come out here."

"I do too, and I'm glad you agreed," he said with a smile. He looked down at his watch after that. "We should probably head back. Your parents are going to question where you are and why it's taking you so long to try on your outfits."

I laughed. "Good point."

The two of us got up but we kept a hold of each other's hands. The trip back down to his motorcycle was entirely too short. I wanted to spend the entire day with him. This feeling… it was new. I'd never experienced it before but it wasn't hard for me to figure out. I couldn't like him though. He was human, I was a Guardian. It'd never work out! Most sane people would never accept that I could change from being human to being a wolf. Of course, Spencer wasn't exactly rational considering he showed absolutely no fear of me or my family. So maybe, just maybe, it would work out. He trusted me and it felt good to have someone like that, to have someone outside my family trust me. And most importantly, Spencer wasn't hiding anything from me because what did he have to hide?

If only Elsa knew… review (and an actual review SACarter- not one that just says 'review' you smart-aleck)!