Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, I merely play in the sandbox. I do however, lay claim to my original characters, Ella, Adrian, Christine and others and the inclusion of the Fey world.

AN: Need to get back into writing longer chapters...here's another short chapter for you to enjoy ~Hannah.

Chapter Seventy-Four – Living with the Cullen's

The morning after the wedding, I exited my house with Bella and Angela in tow. The three of us all carrying a single suitcase. We'd won the agreement for Dad and Christine to take a honeymoon away from Forks. They had left just a couple of hours before us and now we were bound to the Cullen's house. Esme wouldn't hear of us staying anywhere else and Edward had cautioned me that she might have gone a little too far in her excitement of having us over.

I would never tell Esme to calm down or reign herself in. I knew she thought of us as her children as she did with Edward and the others. If it brought her joy to go over the top, I was going to let her. I sometimes forgot the sacrifice made to become a female vampire.

I was looking forward to staying with the Cullen's, for they would soon become a permanent part of my family, at least they would when Edward and I finally crossed that barrier. Angela and Bella might have been gobsmacked with the individual rooms they got, stuttering their thanks with a smile and a blush but I hugged Esme tightly to convey my joy. It didn't escape my notice that she'd placed my room next to Edward's and it made me think of the trust the adults put in the relationship Edward and I shared.

I didn't know the Cullen's house had a third floor but that was where Esme had put Angela and Bella. Come to think of it, I never realised there was a spare room next to Edwards and I was a constant in this house. I felt that Esme had managed to incorporate aspects of both Edward and I in the room she'd given me. That it had an adjoining door to Edward's room was of no consequence and further extenuated the trust they placed in us.

"Are you settled in alright? Do you like the room?" asked Esme.

"Of course, Esme, you have a talent for decorating. I appreciate all the time and effort you've put into my room and Angela's and Bella's."

"You may not believe it but I was quite anxious about your reactions to the rooms I'd designed."

"You had nothing to worry about."

"It seems so."

"Was there something you wanted to talk about?"

"I'm not very subtle, am I?"

"Not when it comes to your children which I'm sure is what or who you wanted to talk about."

"Transparent as well it seems. Very well, I wanted to talk to you about Edward."

"What about him?"

"I know you're probably tired of hearing this but I am so glad that you walked into our lives. For many centuries now, I have watched as Edward merely existed, the pain on his face clear as day in the presence of so many couples. I have longed to see him happy with his own mate but with Edward's negativity, we had all worried he would go without. To say that Edward has changed since you walked into his life is a complete understatement, I have seen sides of Edward I never knew existed and that is all because of you. It is a Mother's wish to see their children happy, I might not biologically be their Mother but I love them all as if they were my own. I am so happy you will officially become part of our family."

"He hasn't asked me yet you know."

"But he plans to ask you and that's enough for me."

"How do you know?"

"He asked me. I have never been prouder than in that moment when Edward came to me for help. He loves you with every part of his being. You are what keeps his undead heart beating, you are the light in his life so please forgive all his failings."

"I have forgiven him, he should know that."

"I worry is all."

"Esme, I don't want to rehash what has been playing on a loop in my mind for months on end. You say I have changed Edward but really, he has changed me. Before the move to Forks, you would not have recognised me as a person. I was like a snail afraid to come out of my shell. Out of the two of us Bella has always been swimming at the top of the lake while I have been drowning at the bottom. I love Bella with all my heart, she has been the rock that guided me through life and kept me from drowning but the love I have for her pales in comparison to the love I have for Edward. While Bella kept me afloat, Edward fills me with love and hope. Edward and I have joined souls, he keeps me safe and guides me on this path of danger. Edward gives me a reason to keep fighting and to stay strong in a way that Bella could never fill me with. I don't mean to compare the two, they are the most important people in my life along with Dad. It's not just Edward who has changed me, the easy nature and love you've all offered me has filled a hole I never thought would be filled."

"You love very deeply."

"Living with a Mother who doesn't love you is hard. It shaped much of my life and I was so bitter and angry whenever someone wanted to pierce my protective bubble. I've always loved deeply but I've always hidden it, less I get rejected again. Coming to Forks was something I've wanted for years but I could never get Renee to let me go. Being in an environment that welcomes me without judgement was something I had to reconnect with. I'd forgotten in a sense, what it was like to just live and be a teenager."

"Do you wish you could just be a teenager?"

"I am a teenager. What is happening to me is real life and it's chaotic and mad and infuriating and life threatening but how many other teenagers out there think the same thing about their lives. It's all about how you handle things. I'd prefer not to be the centre of some evil genius's ideas but hey, you can't pick what fate throws at you, you just have to swim with the current and hope you don't drown."

"Something tells me you've thought of this a lot."

"More than a lot. Sometimes I worry about the thoughts in my head. They get so repetitive at times that it makes me want to scream. You've caught me on a good day, sometimes my opinions are much different than what I've just told you, some days are just darker than others, you know?"

"It's a lot to put on your shoulders."

"I'm a hero, right? I mean all this adventure and death defying actions, are right out of a book. Whatever trials and tribulations the hero goes through they always get a happy ending. If I don't have the hope that this fiction could relate to me then I have nothing. It's hard not to drown in all that is happening. I'm strong but this tests my limits. I'm changed from all that has happened. I fight with myself constantly, I cry, I scream, I argue. All these passionate, dominate emotions have an outlet now but they're out of control and I haven't learnt how to control them yet. It's hard to know whether I would go back if given the chance. If I wasn't where I was now then I wouldn't have met you or Edward, Bella wouldn't have met Adrian and Dad wouldn't now be married. So, the bad stuff is shit but it has led to some great stuff. Did Edward tell you of the 'vision' nightmare I had?"

"No."

"It showed me a world without me in it. Showed me what would have happened if I hadn't been born. The Ethereal beings working behind us to keep the darkness at bay, engineered my birth so that I would be the catalyst in stopping things. On the one hand that makes me mad to be manipulated that way and put on a course I have no way of stopping but on the other hand, how is that different to say; Harry Potter, or Frodo from the Lord of the Rings, or even Captain America? Their lives all took a drastic turn when fate intervened, Harry was hunted because of a prophesy, Frodo was destined to defeat Sauron because he inherited a ring and Captain America got frozen in the sea for years because he was the only one who could defeat Hydra. I like to believe that like those characters, I can make my own decisions on this course I'm forced upon."

"I think you are stronger than you believe. Through this all, even when you've been down, you've picked yourself up and kept on fighting. There is a drive in you that is rare in people nowadays. I don't think it is silly to compare yourself with fictional characters for you're right, your story is like theirs. I can't say I'm all that happy that unknown beings are meddling in your life for the good of the rest of us, but I feel like the result will please us all. Maybe I am biased but I believe you can do anything you put your mind to. It's been a pleasure watching you blossom into the strong warrior I see before me now, it is my hope that I get to watch you grow for many years to come. You have made me happy on so many levels and I cannot wait to see what else you accomplish in life."

"You're going to make me cry you know? If I have any say in the matter, I'll never be leaving this earth. I'm very lucky, I get to have my cake and eat it. I get Edward, I get my Dad and I get Bella, all rolled into one. I don't know what I would have done if keeping Edward meant I had to watch Dad and Bella die."

"Luckily you'll never have to think of that."

Esme hugged me before she left. I hadn't known what to expect when she'd arrived wanting to talk about Edward. In all honesty I thought I'd done something wrong and was worried I was about to be told off. I should have known that Esme wouldn't act that way towards me, she was just a worried Mother looking out for her son. It filled me with such warmth to see how Esme reacted to all her children, she was a woman who embodied the title of 'Mother'. Between Esme and Rose, I gained what I had missed for so many years, the love of a Mother.

What I really wanted to do was contact the Ethereal spirits and give them a piece of my mind. I just needed to know what exactly they wanted from me. I needed to know who they were and what they stood for. I needed them to hear my words and act accordingly. Like a baby bird in its nest, I wasn't going to wait to fall to the ground, I was going to launch myself into the sky and get what I wanted.

My heart thrummed in my chest, a reminder that I was still alive and kicking. I was thrown from my internal thoughts as I heard loud shouts coming from downstairs. I suppose I had spent enough time in my room with Esme and now with my own thoughts. Walking downstairs, I saw in amusement, a battle being played out on Emmett's xbox. I'd never seen my sister so animated, or managing to play a video game correctly. The teams seemed confusing for me, but as a bystander I was content to watch and chuckle at their display. Emmett's face was scrunched up and had he been human, I'd have expected him to be red in the face. Adrian was standing behind Bella, giving her words of encouragement, Edward too seemed to be on Bella's side. It was great to see him cheering her on as well.

It didn't take much to see that Emmett was losing, but his shout of anguish confirmed it. Personally, I thought it was good for Emmett to be beaten occasionally, for his ego was sure to grow too big otherwise.

It was quick how easily we slipped into routine living with the Cullens. I'd always loved Bella's cooking but having been spoilt by Esme's cooking, I wasn't sure if I could go back. I always felt fuller than I thought possible after one of Esme's meals and meal times were filled with laughter and good conversation since the Cullen's didn't have to hide who they were or the fact that they didn't eat.

The respite from the outside world was refreshing. School was school, the people never changed and life moved on. I was doing well in my classes and was still looked upon with a sense of awe from other students when they saw Edward and I walking down the hall. Once development I wasn't expecting to happen was the new closeness within the group. We were all close to begin with but now I was seeing more interaction between the Cullen's and Bella and Angela. It was nice, a change I welcomed. I never wanted anyone to feel left out, or ostracized by our big group. I wanted Bella to get on with Edward and vice versus, they always had but it was pleasing to see them beginning to become friends and not just in terms of sister/sister's boyfriend.

Living with the Cullen's was different from living with Dad. In some respects, I'd thought it would be more relaxed. Dad was always equal parts strict and casual but was always ready to shut you down with his 'chief of police' attitude if you'd done wrong. Carlisle and Esme however, seemed to be taking their duties of guardian seriously in the absence of Dad and Christine. Though it was done with a smile and the warmth of love, homework was to be done, family dinners were to be had and curfew was set. Oddly I didn't feel like rebelling against it because it was rather relaxing to have rules in place. Unless Edward and I were in our treehouse, we tried not to get too involved as neither of us were ready for that step yet, the rules Esme and Carlisle proposed just strengthened that barrier. Thought, from Bella's face I guess she disliked the rules put in place. Since being officially presented to Adrian's parents, their relationship had become more of a 'touchy feely' one.

There would be a time where living with the Cullen's became permanent for me but for now I was happy to try out what that permanent future would be like.