Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, I merely play in the sandbox. I do lay claim to my original characters; Ella, Adrian, Christine, Eldre etc and the inclusion of the Fey world.

AN: Another day, another chapter. Enjoy. ~Hannah

Chapter Eighty-One – Realisation

Waking up from my dreamscape or nightmare was like rising from the depths of the sea and breaking the surface of water. My senses were dulled, and I felt warm and fuzzy. I woke to a room full of faces and waves of concern and worry filling the air. Centring myself and trying to grasp hold of something was more difficult for me to reach. I was trying to process everything my nightmare had shown me, while at the same time be coherent enough to ease the worry of those crowded around me.

I knew that the nightmare I'd had wasn't of my own creation. It was a fear I'd had since the mess with Marco, that someone could slip inside my head without my knowledge and play around. Learning about Eldre's past didn't adhere me to him but it did give a new perspective to things. Any parent that abandons a child, should, be shot! Still, Eldre was as much to blame for his life as the parents that abandoned him. I knew very well that life was made up of choices and those choices set you on a path in life. Eldre could have taken that hatred and anger and worked it into something positive. Instead he looked to darkness to be his guide and sacrificed his soul for a chance of revenge.

There was no doubt in my mind that Eldre was crazy beyond believe but that craziness stemmed from so many years alone in the forest. The had mental health issues that would have been addressed had he been human but the mind of the Fey worked with different cogs in place.

In the nightmare, Eldre had referred to himself as 'the babe', another stylised name for himself that further separated him from his family. The name made him sound innocent and vulnerable and I knew that he was neither of those things. Eldre was very proficient at spinning a web of lies and manipulation. He was very good at persuading people to join his cause and to twist the minds of those he commanded.

His obsession with me was scary. In my nightmare he'd been torn of what to do with me. His clarity had disappeared, and darkness had replaced it. He was in control of the darkness but also controlled by the darkness. It made him an unstable enemy because I don't think I could tell whether he was acting on his own or at the behest of another.

My ears were ringing, the sound making me wince. Through my thoughts, the world around me solidified, the blurriness evaporated, and I managed to sit up without causing myself any pain.

"What happened?"

"Alec took away your senses, we had to. Ella you were burning up, your powers were consuming you. The only way we could stop you was by taking away your senses," said Edward.

"Burning up?"

"You used too much of your power. You're only human Ella, you'll need to practice your powers so that this doesn't happen again. Everyone has a limit, you investigated the depth of your power and kept drawing from it. You reached the bottom and still continued, no one should draw that much power from themselves," said Adrian.

"How do you know?"

"The Fey have similar issues with their powers if they do not take the time to learn and control them. The gift of having a power comes with the gift of responsibility. You owe it to yourself to learn all you can about your powers and how to live cohesively with them. The next time you flounder we might not be around to help you come back."

"I didn't know my power had a bottom. I didn't even know what powers I had until that ill-conceived assault course. The powers I showed we as much a surprise to me as they were to all of you."

"It was terrifying to watch you rage across the course, there was a look in your eyes I'd never seen before and it scared me."

I didn't know what to say to Edward's words, worry and fear clouded my mind and tears appeared in my eyes.

"I was scared for you, not of you Ella. So much of your involvement in all this is unknown. We're grasping at straws trying to work out how to fight this battle while keeping everyone safe."

"I am sorry to have worried you all but in taking away my senses, while it might have saved my life, it also opened me up to attacks."

"What do you mean?" asked Alec, his face filled with guilt from his actions and worry over my safety. Lauren sat in his arms, her face furrowed and her eyes never leaving my face.

"I dreamed, or rather, I had a nightmare that wasn't of my own design. I saw the life of Eldre in my sleep, a story he was able to get into my mind because my defences were down thanks to Alec. It showed me how he became who he is and why he fights for control over all of us. It didn't adhere me to him, but it did make me see him in a different light. His parents couldn't cope with the darkness that had surrounded him since birth and so they chose the cowardly way out and abandoned him in the middle of the night, packing up their belongings and older son and fleeing in the night. No one deserves that sort of behaviour from a parent."

"Sounds like you do feel sympathy for him," said Edward.

"You're wrong. Eldre fled to the dark forest and stayed there from a toddler all the way to an adult. In the forest he learnt how to control the darkness and let it in, and in turn the darkness learnt how to control Eldre. Eldre started to kill those foolish enough to step near the dark forest but soon his casual kills weren't enough and the anger and hate he'd felt all his life demanded more. Through the darkness he concocted a plan to become the supreme leader of all species. He has been trained for this since he was little and fully believes it is his destiny."

"Where do you fit in?" asked Bella.

"Eldre realised that he could not get near the crown. He holds a grudge against you because you did not come to his aid when his family abandoned him. He planned to use me because of my connections to you. It wasn't until his spy Marcus started acting oddly that he learnt about me. He was curious at first and then confused. The more time he spent worrying about me, the more he became obsessed with me. He couldn't understand how someone so ordinary attracted so many people. In my nightmare he called me his kryptonite because he wants to kill me and yet he also wants me by his side lording over all with him."

"So, if he met you on the battlefield we'd have the advantage?"

"I don't think so Edward, don't take his obsession for me to mean that he's harmless. He'll kill me if I get in the way of his plans, just as he'd kill all of you to keep me in line. He's unstable and has been for years but he's also in control of the darkness that exists in his body. He is as much a captive as he is a master. He sits on a poisoned spider web, puppeteering all those around him to do his bidding but he is also the first one to run into battle and savagely rip his opponents apart."

"So, once again, what we've learnt bares no advantage to us?"

"I wouldn't quite be so bitter about it Edward, anything we learn about Eldre is a plus in my book. We are not living our best supernatural lives here. This is not a movie with a dramatic yet complete ending. We are living our real lives here and that comes with drawbacks. We don't have all the answers, we don't have a clear sight to the battle and we don't have all the means to end Eldre. It doesn't mean that we'll stop fighting or that we'll give up when the going gets tough. Life is what you make of it and I intend to make the most of it, regardless of what threat looms on the horizon."

I didn't mean to be so snappy towards Edward, but I was getting tired of people using the excuse that we didn't know much about Eldre, to mean that the battle was already lost. I wasn't letting the fear I'd felt in the nightmare consume myself. I refused to give it a second glance and I refused to fall into a bout of depression because of it. For once, I was fully in control of my mental health and intended to keep my chin up and continue with life.

I felt that we knew quite a bit about Eldre and where he was coming from and what he wanted from live. It was easy for me to see that Eldre was controlled by his emotions. Every action he'd taken had been a direct action from the abandonment of his parents and the ignorance of the crown. It all boiled down to Eldre's anger over no one helping him. I firmly believed that Eldre had a chance of being good. That if just one person had bothered to reach out and offer love or a chance to change and learn, Eldre would have been on a different path right now. I could only imagine the horrors Eldre went through upon finding himself abandoned and what living in a dark forest all these years had done to him.

Young minds are impressionable and while I have no doubt that Eldre was born with rage in his heart, the environment he found himself in only furthered that rage into an uncontrollable beast. Eldre's need to control the world of supernatural folk stemmed from his need for control in his own life. His life had been voided of the usual measures and so he'd looked to control to find his place. His parents abandoned him, and the Crown refused to help him, thus he looked for people he could control. The need to control life around him has heavily influenced Eldre on his current path. Eldre was complex and a therapist's dream.

Darkness was subject to black, white, and grey. It didn't equal evil. Whether Eldre had an evil devil inside him or not, throughout his life people have either rejected him or forgotten him. He has never had love or kindness thrown his way. He doesn't know what to do with such emotions and now that he is fully immersed in the darkness, only sees them as a weakness. It was easy to see that this started as Eldre seeking revenge on those that scorned him, but I was intelligent enough to realise his plans had now changed. I could only hope that I could use my words as well as he did and manipulate him towards more positive emotions if I failed with my newly awoken powers.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm getting out of bed."

"No, no, no, Carlisle said you had to stay in bed at least another day."

"Another day? How long have a been asleep?"

"A couple of days."

"A couple of days?! You didn't think to lead with that statement?"

"Sorry for worrying about your mental state and wanting to protect you from killing yourself!"

"I am very sorry everyone, but could you please leave so that I might have a word with Edward?"

The others in the room walked swiftly from the room, I would have thought they'd have ran if they could have got away with it. The tension in the room was stifling, I wanted to assure Alec that I had no ill will towards him and I wanted to get out of my bed so see my family and reassure them that I was fine. However, Edward's behaviour negated all of that, and had me emptying the room to have a private word with him.

I could honestly say that I didn't know what had gotten into him or why he was acting so rude and aggressive. If Edward had a problem, he would usually come out and say it and not have a childish tantrum.

"What's wrong Edward?"

I was fully aware that I sounded like an exasperated mother and hope the tone of my voice would prompt Edward into speaking his mind.

"I could have lost you, you were so far gone that I didn't think you'd be able to come back. I don't want you to use your powers anymore."

"Edward, I don't think the Ethereals would give me powers that could kill me, but I will have to work on them to get better control. I don't think I cannot use them Edward, I can feel the power thrumming under my skin, if I ignore that power for too long then it'll consume me."

"You wouldn't give them up even for me?"

"Edward Cullen! Don't you dare try and manipulate me. These powers were given to me as gifts, just like your power was given to you. You're asking me to give up a piece of myself. I would never ask you to do the same."

"You just don't get it. I had to watch as your power raged around you. I had to ask Alec to shut off your senses just to stop your powers from consuming you. What's to say you get to that point again and Alec isn't around to stop you? What happens if your powers boil over? What happens if you die and I'm left alone with the knowledge that you could have been saved if only you'd stop using your powers in the first place."

I was angry at Edward. His concern was well placed but his demand that I give up my newly found powers was not. Though I despised the Ethereals for meddling in my life, I trusted them to look after me and provide me with the means to be successful in the coming fight. I wasn't lying to Edward, I could feel the power thrumming beneath my skin. It was like a constant warmth, but it wasn't overpowering. The assault course had been well meaning but a complete disaster. No one had known that my powers would appear in that assault course and no one had known what my powers would be or how strong they would be.

It had been a learning curve for all of us. I thought that channelling my emotions would bring positives, but I now knew that to channel my emotions let my powers get the best of me. I was going to have to work very hard to harness my powers and not have my emotions have power over me. I knew already that I'd be asking Jasper, Kate, Jane, and Alec for help with that. Jasper because he had the most war knowledge, Kate and Jane because their powers were painful and would force me to control my emotions to fight them and Alec because with him we could work on the control of my powers and finding how far I could reach into myself before reaching the bottom of my power well.

I didn't really know what to say to Edward and turning away from him seemed a little childish. How do you argue with someone who has already made their mind up? It his anger hadn't been so 'in my face' I might have been more amused at his actions. I didn't know that Edward had this side to him. I'd seen many sides of him since I'd met him, but I hadn't seen the 'stroppy toddler' side of him. I wasn't being dismissive of Edward's feelings because I knew there was some real concern hidden in them. I knew that he was acting out in anger because he knew he couldn't do anything to rectify the situation but even knowing that didn't make me feel any less hurt.

I fully expected this to be a little worm that annoyingly stayed with us for some time and I knew that neither one of us would apologise for we were too stubborn, and each believe that our opinions were right.

Fortunately, I was living in a crazy chaotic life and while I may not have the words to assure Edward that things would be alright in the long-run, another did. I had expected to see the Ethereals soon because of the powers that had awoken inside me, but I was unsurprised to see one standing before me now. Anahita stood in all her glory, smiling down at me in happiness while also sending Edward a chastising look.

"I am glad to see that you are finally away child."

"No thanks to you," said Edward.

"Ella was quite safe, she would have reached the depth of her powers and naturally fallen unconscious where she would have met me and the other four in her mindscape and we would have taught her how to control her powers and stop her from going too far. However, before that could happen you had her senses cut off and sent her into an unprotected mindscape which allowed Eldre to slip in unannounced and show her visions of his own making."

Edward looked, if possible, angrier than he had been while talking to me.

"I think, this whole situation could have been avoided if there had been more communication. I did not know what powers I would get, only that you had given me some. I did not know how to use them or control them, I simply went on instinct. Similarly, those around me had no knowledge of how my powers would react or how strong my powers would be. They simply saw what they presumed was me in distress and acted so. This would have been a lot simpler if you didn't speak in as many riddles or half-truths as you do."

"It seems that even now we still have a lot to learn from each other. I apologise for making it seem like Ella was on the verge of something. Her power does have limitations and there is a bottom to her powers. She must learn where that bottom is so that she doesn't over-exhaust herself and she must learn to control her powers without her emotions interfering with them."

"That is what I was telling Edward. I can feel the power you have given me coursing through my veins. It needs to be harnessed and controlled for without control it can silence me. I was driven to the extremes I was in the assault course because I let my emotions control me. Eldre works with the negative emotions of anger and hatred and in doing so opens himself up to being out of control with his powers. Fuelled as he is by anger and hatred, his power is wild around him and he is left vulnerable when things go wrong. If I were to run into battle with the same emotions clouding my heart, I'd be equally as inflicted as he and there would be no higher ground to take. Ensuring that I have my emotions under check when I use my powers will allow me to fight without thought."

"Sometimes, the feelings we have for those we love get tangled up in our need to protect them. We are not always right in the way that we do things, but it always come from a place of love. I think that is what you'll need to keep in mind with your relationship. Edward becomes angry when he perceives your life is on the line and you get angry when your independence is taken from you. I understand little of the lives of humans but the world of emotions I know a great deal about. As strong as the emotions you feel are, talking through a problem is always a better solution."

Anahita spoke with just confidence and calm serenity that it was impossible not to be carried by the flow of her words. Everything she'd said had been words of truth and it made me wish that as humans, we weren't so ruled by our emotions all the time. Edward had forgotten about my needs and feelings as he let his own rage consume him, in turn I had acted angry and hurt and the cycle had continued. It was, I realised, a fight that could make or break us and I was pleased that Anahita had graced us with her presence, not only to break the brewing fight but to offer her own insight.

Edward thrived on protecting me, as a vampire it was his job to protect his mate. Dealing with all the uncertainty around us, I was honestly surprised that Edward hadn't boiled over sooner. My hope was that we could work through Edward's worries together and come out stronger at the end. I'd forgotten however, just how stubborn Edward could be.

"I still only hear how it is Ella that has to sacrifice most here. In all your infinite options, you couldn't have shared the weight out?"

"Just as you are governed by rules Edward, so are we. If there were another way to do things, then we would have already done it. Alas, it falls on Ella's shoulders, but I am completely convinced that she will succeed. With the family she has around her, she will never be alone and together you present the strongest force – and the best variable – to defeat the oncoming darkness. The decisions that were made were never taken lightly, but they are decisions that stand in stone and cannot be altered."

"Every day I blame you less and less because so much of what my life was, wouldn't exist had you not interfered. Yes, I could do without having the weight of the world on my shoulders, but I appreciate the good times I've had in between, and I want to make the best possible future become reality. My life before Forks was a warped sense of what a teenager should experience, and I am uncertain where my adult life would have led me. Here, now, I have the world at my feet, with new experiences right around the corner. I have friends and a family and though we might be in the middle of a war, I am still the happiest I've been in a long while."

"Your strength is your own, as is your confidence and your pure heart. To see you grow and become who you now are has been a privilege. I only see you getting stronger and more powerful as time goes by. Your future, I believe, will be very bright."

"As long as my future includes Edward and my extended family, I'll be happy with that."

"I must leave you now but please remember the importance of training your powers and don't forget the importance of balance, there are others who need you outside of the realms of war."

I didn't know if I could hug an Ethereal, but I gave it a shot. If Anahita was shocked, she covered it well. It was like hugging a life size squishy. As Anahita disappeared, I looked back towards Edward, hoping that the worst of his mood had passed. Gingerly, I reached out and wrapped my arms around his middle, laying my head upon his chest. The lack of heartbeat didn't bother me, but when Edward relaxed under me, I too relaxed into his embrace.

"I just don't want to see you get hurt," he said.

"I don't want anyone to get hurt but it I had it my way, I'd be the only one on the battlefield. I can promise you Edward, that I will try my hardest to remain unharmed, but I am only human, and we manage to injury ourselves as stupidly as tripping over our own feet. I will always need you to protect me Edward, but you have to remember that I have my own two feet and I can stand strongly upon them without help."

"You will always push my emotions to the extreme, but it doesn't make me love you any less. I will try to work on my angry if you promise to get your powers under control. You're turning into my little warrior, but you'll always be my little angel. I'm sorry."

"It's alright Edward. I'm sorry I made you worry and didn't listen to your concerns. We're in this together, forever and always."