I see a vaguely familiar face just before I sit down, but I dare not look back to check. If I'm able to recognize the face, it's not a good thing. I'd rather not force myself to worry about it; I don't need more of this to start the semester.
Soon after I sit down, the bus driver closes the door and drives off. Onto the next house it goes. I look out the window, which is opposite my house, and attempt to forget about everything.
Unfortunately, I forgot that it's winter, somehow. The trees are empty and lifeless. It's impossible to ignore everything when that's what nature gives me to start the day. Then again, I should expect it; it's January, after all. Add some fog and it would be just another day in paradise. That's probably for tomorrow, though.
I absolutely despite winter. It's easily the worst season. It may give me time off of school and everything, but I have nothing to do during that time. It's too cold to go outside and I don't have anybody to hang out with. Even if it was a day like today, where the sun is shining bright and it doesn't feel all that cold, I can't bring myself to stay outside. All the trees being dead and the other sights make me uneasy. I remember everything that I'd rather forget and have tried to forget for almost three years.
Maybe I should be at least grateful that the sun is out today at all. It's usually cloudy, cold, and miserable around this time of year. Those could be coming in a few hours, though. Nature is my best friend, but it's also extremely unreliable. Nothing all that new, though.
A few minutes after the bus starts moving, it stops at another house. It's at this moment that I remember just how long the ride to school is. Right now, it's around 6:50. I won't be setting foot on campus until closer to 7:30. Wonderful.
In a desperate attempt to give myself something to do and cure my boredom, I open the red notebook to an empty page and think. However, all of the apartment kids are far too loud. I would get an idea of something to write, and it would just as quickly get lost in the sea of noise surrounding me. There's not even that many of them; they're just loud.
For me, my sharp hearing is a curse. Moments like this are the reason why. I always end up listening in to these conversations when I'm trying to focus on something unrelated. Typically, they range from general talk about classes to pure gossip. Usually it's about other toons, but every now and then I'll hear my name mentioned followed or preceded by something to the effect of "at least you're not him!" That exact line, in itself, is another reason why I wish my ears weren't as good as they are. I have to deal with it, though.
The bus continues rolling down the road, letting more toons crowd the vehicle. For the most part, my gaze is kept on the environment around the bus, with occasional glances behind me when the bus is stopped. There doesn't appear to be anyone different on the bus; I didn't see any particularly unfamiliar faces. That's good in some ways and bad in others.
The scenery outside, however, has been changing since the bus has been moving along. Instead of empty trees, my eyes were greeted by an abundance of empty fields. A rare sight for January, the grass is quite green with no frost. The grass seems to stretch all the way out to the horizon, but there's not a house in sight on this side of the road. I'm surprised that nobody has tried to build a house here yet; this area would be a great spot for some peace and quiet. Granted, you would have to be okay with being pretty far away from everyone else and everything else, which I certainly am. Maybe that's why I'm crazy enough to think this would be a good spot to live.
I just can't help but be in awe by the entire landscape, though. The color is intensely vivid, there's a great view of a few mountains in the background, and there's so much open space to walk around and let your mind wander. It'd be a great spot to live, but it's sadly not possible right now.
I must have been lost in thought for a long time, because the next thing I know, the bus is pulling into the school parking lot. It's a stark contrast from the vast fields of emptiness to the large metal gate and brick walls of the school. In terms of high school campuses, the building is abnormally large; it almost looks like a college campus. Looking up at the top of all the bricks reveals three layers of windows. I will never understand why they made a high school this tall. The building is wide enough to support having enough classrooms with just two floors. I wasn't in charge of the construction, though. I probably wasn't even alive then.
Finally, the bus comes to a halt just in front of the gate that guards the campus. It now releases us from this holding cell only to transfer us to another one that's much, much bigger. Similar to how things have worked the last few school years, I am first to get off of the bus. By a lot.
I start walking down the steps and onto the concrete separating the school from the parking lot. Looking to my right, I can see a multitude of pairs of eyes staring me down, looking into my soul. It makes me shiver slightly. After all this time, I should be used to it, but I'm not. Not even close. I keep walking, though, through the steel arch and onto the dirt walkway.
The noise filling the space between the wings of the campus suddenly faded away upon my appearance, and then slowly picked up volume as I walked nearer to the end of the dirt. Although faint, I can hear taunts being thrown my way in the distance. I can also overhear some of the couples complaining about their parents and how miserable their break was without them. All of it is a mindless, thoughtless cacophony to me after a while, though. All the talk is the same. Other than some toons now cured from their ailments, everyone is in the same place, as well.
This is basically your last real chance, the voice in my head calls to me. Just before I walk up the four steps to the main entrance, it continues. It may not be your last year here, but after this semester, nobody will want to believe you. If nobody trusts you before then, your chances of redemption are practically zero.
It's right. I know it's right. It makes perfect sense. I don't want to believe it. There has to be a way. Someone will hear me. Right? The chances are so low even now, but with each day that passes, the chances only get lower. It'll never hit absolute zero, though, will it? Surely there's someone here… There has to be…
I take a deep breath and open the door. The building greets me with a blast of warmer air, which almost makes me forget that I'm going to be prisoner here for the next six or seven hours. The door closes behind me as I look up at the moving hands on the ceiling. 7:34. About half an hour until the first class of the day. I don't really feel like eating breakfast, so I decide to head to the stage. There's not usually too many toons there; I'd bother the least people this way.
I take a left just before the front office to get to the dimly-lit room. There are lights on, but most of the light is coming from the phones of other toons. In fact, most of the toons in here are on their phones. There's very few toons talking to each other, which is surprising. Usually most toons are talking to each other, even if that would include their phones. In a way, it's sad, but I suppose it's to be expected with this particular demographic. Although, if my phone was like most toons', I'd probably be doing the same thing.
Unlike most toons around this area, I can't actually afford any nice, fancy smartphones. I have the kind of phone that a lot of kids might scoff at me for having: one of those that a lot of parents might give their kids for a present at thirteen if they've never had a phone before. I've got the phone that opens to reveal the screen and has an overly noisy and inconvenient keyboard. It's almost not worth bringing because of it's impracticality.
Regardless, I sit where I don't think anyone would see me, the very back row. I open my notebook and try to write again. The darkness is not a friend to my mind. No ideas are in my mind anymore like they were on the bus. My eyes are wandering away more than my mind, which sometimes helps me, but not this time. I'm seeing the videos other toons are watching and the apps they're opening. However, they offer no creative inspiration.
I try to get my mind back on the empty fields and the possibility of living on those fields. My mind is too much accustomed to realism, though, and my attempt was futile. My mind cannot wander, as there is nothing currently filling my mind that is worth writing about. Either that or I have already written something about it and wish that I would stop thinking of it.
Several minutes pass by in the blink of an eye, and the bell rings for the transition period. My class is on the third floor, so I immediately leap up from the seat and walk hastily to the nearest staircase. The crowd prevents me from walking as fast as I would like, but I believe I can still get there in time.
I finally get to the staircase and the crowd around me starts to dissipate. Once the toons that have class on the second floor get out of the way, the flow of traffic starts to speed up. Everyone starts to move much quicker once they get to the very top of the incline, after which they get moving to class. Luckily for me, my class is the first class on the right side of the hall, so I do not have to walk very far.
The teacher reluctantly greets me as I walk into her classroom and take the seat closest to her desk. It's my assigned seat for every class. I would wish for the opposite seating arrangement. However, I know well why I am placed here and do not object. I will not get my way.
As the classroom starts to fill with students, all I can do is watch the second hand tick down as the bell gets closer to ringing. Hell is about to begin and I am the farthest thing from ready for it.