Chapter 59

"You are new to the Grey Wardens, and you may not have been told how an archdemon is slai-"

Aedan raised his hand and Riordan paused. He said, "I know."

"You do?"

"Yes. But the others don't." He paused. "And I would like to keep it that way."

"There are five Wardens now. We stand a better chance if-"

"I know. You're right. We would." He looked straight at Riordan. "It will be me. Not them. It has to be that way."

"But-"

"It will be that way," Aedan declared with quiet determination. "I'll inform Loghain, but Solona and Alistair must be kept out. That final blow is mine to take and mine alone, nobody else's."

Riordan held his gaze for a while and nodded to himself. "Very well. Traditionally, the oldest Wardens get to choose who takes the final blow, but seeing the lengths you and Alistair have taken to get here, I shan't begrudge you this."

"Thank you."

"No, Warden Cousland, thank you."

There was no need to thank the deeds of one who had no choice, Aedan thought as he walked slowly to his room. It was the only course of action open to him. I never asked for any of this, did I? He sighed as he opened the door. One way or another, it'll all be over soon. Good. Because I'm tired.

He would sleep now. And then, after the archdemon, sleep a bit longer.

But then Fate had a different play in hand, for standing before the fire in his room was Morrigan.

Aedan closed the door behind him as quietly as he could. It had been a while since he'd been alone with her.

"'Tis only I," said the witch quietly over her shoulder. "Fear not."

"I thought you'd know me well enough by now to know that I'm not afraid of you, Morrigan," he replied with a shake of his head, though he stood rooted to the spot. "What is this about? Is something the matter?"

"I am well. 'Tis you who are in danger."

Aedan considered this. "You know."

Morrigan turned around to face him. "Yes."

"Before or after Avernus told me?"

"Before."

"I see." Aedan walked over to the bed and sat down. "Then what brings you here now?"

"To offer you an alternative without sacrifice. A way out for all Grey Wardens."

Aedan glanced up at her as he undid his laces. "Oh, really?"

"Indeed. A ritual. Performed on the eve of battle, in the dark of night."

"And what form of ritual do you mean?"

"It is old magic from a time before the Circle of Magi was created. Some might call it blood magic, but I doubt that would be a problem for you."

She spoke knowingly, as if aware of the potion Avernus had given him. Aedan wouldn't put it past her. He knew exactly how sharp she was. Placing his elbows on his thighs, he looked up at her.

"I'm not interested, Morrigan."

"No?"

"No."

"You do not trust me?"

Aedan shook his head. "It's not that and you know it."

"Then why would you not even consider my plan? I thought you would at least allow me to explain."

Sighing, Aedan motioned for her to continue. Morrigan inclined her head and came and sat beside him.

"What I propose is this: lay with me. Here, tonight. From our joining, a child will be conceived." Aedan clenched his jaws. "The child will bear the taint, and when the archdemon is slain, its essence will seek the child like a beacon. At this early stage, the child can absorb that essence and not perish. The archdemon is still destroyed, with no Grey Warden dying in the process."

She explained the process calmly, as if explaining to a child how it had picked up the wrong fork at a dinner table. Aedan took a deep breath to calm his rising temper.

"You seem very confident in this ritual."

"Flemeth taught me it."

"Ahh." Aedan rose to his feet, that ever so familiar coolness creeping up the back of his head. The angrier he got, the calmer it made him. "This was why she helped us, then. To have you tag along... for this."

"Are you truly surprised?" Morrigan asked after him as he walked over to the fire. "Think about what I am offering: the chance to avoid death. Or, better yet, the chance to slay the archdemon and live as a hero. No Grey Warden has ever done this. In return, I conceive a child, one with the soul of an Old God-"

"The child will be a darkspawn, then?"

"Not at all. It shall not be harmed; merely changed. It will have the soul of the Old God. However, after this is done, you will allow me to walk away and would not follow. Ever. I shall raise the child apart from society and teach it to respect that which it comes from. More than that, you need not know."

"Need not know-" Aedan scoffed but held up his hands and stopped himself. "Morrigan, this is my child we are talking about here, and you tell me that you'll take it away, that I'll neither see it nor you ever again? I'm supposed to accept this?"

"Yes," she replied calmly. "That is the way it must be if I am to relieve you from this burden the Wardens have placed on you."

Aedan pinched the bridge of his nose and said nothing. He heard the rustling of Morrigan's dress and assumed she'd gotten up as well.

"It will work," she insisted. "And it will save your life."

"That's the problem, Morrigan. I don't want it to."

"What do you mean?"

"Throughout this year, my one goal had been to deal with Howe. Along the way, I learnt that if I killed the archdemon, I, too, would perish. My path was set. Kill Howe, kill archdemon, die. That had been my plan, my way out, and now you tell me to do this." He shook his head. "Had you stayed, had I a chance to raise that child, maybe I would have considered it, but that is not an option, I see." He placed his hands on the mantelpiece and leaned into it. "I'm tired, Morrigan. I'm tired and I want to rest. I can't do this anymore. I'm tired of having nothing to live for. Don't take that from me."

"Plans can change," he heard Morrigan say. "Caring for you as I've come to... that was not part of the plan. But I cannot let what I feel interfere with what I must do. This is important to me. The fact that it may save your life makes me all the more determined to see it done."

Aedan shook his head.

"Consider the possibility that Riordan may not be there to slay the archdemon. And neither can you, as you plan. Then it would fall to the others – namely Alistair, Solona and Loghain, two of whom you wish to shield from this fate." He looked at her. "Should you accept, you shall save their lives should they have to land the finishing blow. If you refuse me, I can go to Loghain or Riordan or even Alistair. I am going to save you, Aedan, and I do not care what I have to do to ensure it."

He said nothing. Morrigan placed her hands on his cheeks and looked up at him.

"If afterwards you wish to end your existence, I shan't stop you. But for the sake of everyone you care about, I hope you won't."

"Why are you doing this?"

"The child will represent freedom for an ancient power, the chance to be reborn without the taint. Some things in this world are worth preserving."

"Morrigan. Why are you doing this?"

The witch sighed, and her shoulders sagged.

"After all we have meant to each other, I do not wish to see you slain," she replied quietly. "Is that not reason enough?"

Aedan closed his eyes and drew her into his arms and held her. Morrigan did not pry away from him, but pressed her cheek to his shoulder.

She was afraid. He could tell. Whether it was for him, or them, or their companions, or the prospect of what she was suggesting, he didn't know. But he knew that she could appear more confident than she seemed. Morrigan could be anything she wanted, but she wasn't always truly what she let others see.

She was right in that there were no guarantees, but with this, even if Solona or Alistair took the final blow, they wouldn't die. If he so chose, he could always go to sleep after doing his job.

In the end, that was all that mattered.