Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, I merely play in the sandbox. I do however, lay claim to my original characters; Ella, Christine, Adrian, Eldre etc. and the slight inclusion of the Fey world.

AN: Another Monday, another chapter. Only 13 Chapters left before the story is complete - I have mixed feelings about that ~Hannah

Chapter Eighty-Seven – A Snapshot ~ Part Two

Year two at university came with a dawning of a new era. Or rather, the people we'd spent our first year with had been split down the middle of what the university cited were their top achieving students and their more 'creatively inclined' students – i.e. the less achieving half.

Mostly this just meant that all the followers and malicious people with crushes on Edward and I had been pushed down into the 'creatively inclined' group and had not joined our 'achieving students' group. There was a lot less drama now and I was pleased for it. There was a lot less arguments between Edward and I and a lot less paranoia and jealousy floating around.

Over the summer I had spoken in depths with Rose about the problems that had arisen between Edward and I during our first year of university. She had consoled me and offered me sound advice. Rose had the unique position of having been on the receiving end of unwanted advances but had also been on the receiving end of jealousy and paranoia when watching females throw themselves on Emmett. Rose didn't deal with that act very well but her years of dealing with it allowed her to impart great knowledge on the subject.

She told me to ignore it if I could but if I could not, she trained me with the knowledge to warn people off or threaten people. Just with words, of course, but they would be no less effective than a slap in the face. Returning to university, I returned with more confidence at fighting off eager suitors and with less guilt over any fights we would have.

Edward and I, had, excelled in our first year. Coming joint top and winning over the staff of Professors. It wasn't that we were going out of our way to be top of the class but we both strived for perfection in everything we did.

There was less work this year, or at least there was less work for Edward and I. We managed to team up for a couple of musical projects and the results were considered awe inspiring – that was what our Professors told us anyway. Year two seemed to take a step away from theory and moved more into practical projects. I had three major art projects, and 2 major music projects. There were other practical's and assignments around the major ones but most of my focus went into getting the best score in the major projects.

It was the art projects that took up most of my time and where I spent most of my evenings if Edward hadn't managed to drag me out to do something fun. Of the two major music projects, one was Jazz while the other was freestyle and Edward and I paired up for both. I always thought our music was better because of the love we shared and the passion we both had for music, but our Professors would put it down to skill.

[x]

We had to perform one of our songs at the midway recital and it was as nerve-racking as you could imagine. The lights were hot on the stage, the audience was basked in darkness and as Edward began playing the piano I almost forgot to breathe. It was a song that we'd come up with during one of our date nights.

Edward wore a midnight blue suit while I wore a midnight blue dress with cap sleeves. This was a duet and I was glad that Edward was singing first for it meant I had time to push my nerves aside.

'City of stars

Are you shining just for me?

City of stars

There's so much that I can't see

Who knows?

I felt it from the first embrace I shared with you.'

Edward's voice lulled me into a warm embrace, his voice was like molten honey and it wrapped around me like a blanket, giving me confidence and boosting my passion.

'That now our dreams

They've finally come true

City of stars

Just one thing everybody wants

There in the bars

And through the smokescreen of the crowded restaurants

It's love

Yes, all we're looking for is love from someone else.'

With my first verus completed, I felt the nerves fall away completely. The audience was with us, swaying slightly in the darkness. I felt Edward's eyes on me from behind. I loved singing with Edward, our song segwayed into us both singing lines off each other before combining and splitting again.

'A look in somebody's eyes

To light up the skies

To open the world and send it reeling

A voice that says, I'll be here

And you'll be alright

I don't care if I know

Just where I will go

'Cause all that I need is this crazy feeling

A rat-tat-tat of my heart'

Mine and Edward's voices synched together and wove a sweet melody that burst out and filled the stage and flowed to the audience. I imagined talking along with Edward at night and the love I had for him. I let that love flow into the song as I sang and made it a song of passion.

'Think I want it to stay

City of stars

Are you shining just for me?

City of stars'

While Edward sung his last lines, I risked glancing back at him and was floored by the emotion in his eyes. They were almost black in desire and I hoped no one else noticed. I couldn't help but feel a thrill of desire roll through me as I sung my own last line.

'You never shined so brightly'

The memory of that night shined brightly in my mind and became one of my fondest memories. The passion that Edward and I shared when we worked together was like nothing else. It warmed me to my core when we performed together, and I'll never forget the standing ovation we got that night for it was pure and innocent and all consuming.

[x]

We had more time off this year, or rather more time without coursework. We chose to use some of that time to extend a visit to Italy to see the Volturi and more importantly – at least in my eyes – to catch up with Lauren.

Time away from university was a much-needed break for me and I was able to relax behind the walls of the Volturi Castle and sunbathe under the hot Italian sun. I had forgotten how over-zealous and over-protective the three Kings could be but after having been at Volterra for a few short days, I'd remembered with frustration how much they could be.

Their hearts were in the right place and that was all that really mattered to me. If they wanted to treat me like family then I would let them, for I too thought of them as family. I just resented the cock-blocking they seemed to be becoming when they saw Edward and me. It was most frustrating, I can tell you that!

However, being in Italy was just what I needed to recharge my batteries. I might have more time off this year, but the workload was no less demanding. I'd even suffered a small breakdown, sobbing over how useless I was about making music. Edward had helped me off that ledge with a bucket of ice cream and a healthy dose of comfort, love, and confidence building. Looking back at that moment made me feel foolish but I had felt overwhelmed and I had needed an outlet. My body just decided that the outlet to use would be crying.

"I'm so glad you're here Ella."

"Me too, I can't tell you how much I've missed you Lauren."

"Life here has been crazy busy, but I will always try to make time for my friends. Speaking of crazy, how has life been going for you?"

"It's calmed down dramatically since I left Forks. Don't get me wrong, I love Forks but all the drama and chaos that I experiences was very draining. I love being at university, I worried that focusing solely on music and art would dampen my passion for them but if anything, that passion has just increased. My relationship with Edward has become stronger and we are more connected. It has been a learning curve for us, learning how to live as a couple without the support of our family. We have argued a lot, but I have tried to never go to bed angry. I think, oddly, we are better for the arguing because we now know each other's limits."

"So, no life or death situations?"

"No, thank goodness, I've had enough of those to last a lifetime. I worried my powers would flare up, but Edward has insisted on making me train weekly to keep them in check. To be honest, they've calmed since the storm passed and I feel completely in control of them."

"That's good right? I mean, it would be hard to explain why you can control certain elements to the human population where they'd sooner dissect you rather than let you roam free."

"Yeah. I definitely don't want to end up on an experiment table."

"Have you had sex with Edward yet?"

"Blunt change of topic but no I haven't. Not that I mind talking about Edward and I but what's going on in your life?"

"I had sex with Alec."

"I figured."

"It was difficult. He's so much stronger than me that he had to be really careful not to hurt me. Ella, the bond I shared with Alec before sex was powerful but after sex, I've never felt so complete, it's amazing. We're connected now in a way that can never be severed. The bond changes everything I thought about life and fills every corner of your body with warmth. I know Edward is a little more hesitant when it comes to sex but the sooner you both complete the bond the better off you will be."

"I'm very happy for you Lauren. You deserve all the happiness in the world. I don't think Edward is hesitant as such, I just don't think he knows how to go about it. He is always worried about hurting me accidentally, but Edward is old fashioned. I don't think he would look kindly upon sex before marriage and that's alright. I'm not ready to have sex in the middle of university. I'm happy to wait until Edward is comfortable because he is my forever after and there is no rush."

"I understand that. It always warms me to see how compatible you and Edward are. I don't know many people who would not want to rush into sex, or rush into something they wanted regardless of how their partner felt. I'm constantly floored by how well you and Edward mould together. Despite what troubles you have between each other, you always present a picture-perfect couple and I think that's why so many people flock to you, whether their motives be good or not. Everyone wants a piece of what the two of you represent."

"You make us sound like a golden couple and I know we are far from that."

"You know what I mean. You're both talented strong people by yourselves but together you bring this fire and this light that makes people around you go crazy. It's not just the allure that Edward has as a vampire either. It's an attraction the two of you put out. I felt it at school but took the road of jealousy and anger. With Angela, it bought out her golden heart. With the three Kings it bought out their softer side. There is something so distinctive about you and Edward, some hidden secret that has fused your souls together and made you sort of like an addictive drug to everyone who comes into contact with you."

"Your thoughts are startling, and I've never thought of it like that. I just assumed that people were interested in us because they wondered why Edward was with me. Before you start, I'm not selling myself short in any respect, I just mean that Edward's vampire allure draws people to him and he dazzles them without realising it. I guess I sometimes get trapped in a bubble and become oblivious to what is happening around me. I would have once called that a blessing, but I see now that it is a curse that is blinding me."

"You aren't being blinded Ella, nor have you got a curse. You feel fiercely. Everything you do is done with passion and determination. I didn't mean to embarrass you with talk of sex. I know that when you're ready to have it, you'll talk it through with Edward. I was talking with my own experiences in the forefront of my mind and I shouldn't have done that because we're different people with different views. I just think that sometimes, you need to get out of your headspace because I know you and I know that's where you exist more than you'd care to admit. There is a world out there Ella and it needs to be seen, felt, loved. Live a little more and be passionate in whatever you do."

"I think it was my passion that fuelled my arguments with Edward and my jealousy about all the other women."

"Don't be ashamed of your jealousy, we all get jealous from time to time. You're passionate about Edward, anyone can see that. Edward struggles to believe that you could think he was interested in anyone else. To him, he doesn't see how his actions and words effect those around him and he loves you so much that he believes you should be secure in that love. Edward doesn't understand women and that doesn't come from his lack of experience, it is an innocence if you will, an action he cannot understand, not when logic is telling him another thing. You know he would never purposefully hurt you. You're both very strong personalities and those personalities are bound to rub each other the wrong way at some point. It doesn't make your relationship any different or less strong. I love Alec, but we still argue, arguing is a natural point of any relationship."

"I just feel like we've strained our relationship since moving to university. I don't want us to be pushed to the breaking point, but I also want us to admit our faults and move pass them."

"Talk to Edward about it."

"Every time I do, we argue."

"Talk to him with another present."

"Who?"

"Someone you're both comfortable with but someone who will be able to act impartially and not be biased on one side."

"Sound difficult to achieve, everyone would like to have a say in our relationship under the guise of 'offering help.'"

"You'll find someone. Things will get better Ella, you'll see."

[x]

Things did get better but not in the way I imagined them.

I stood in the middle of a brightly decorated ballroom, watching the twinkling lights high above me and grinning so much that my face started to ache.

I had thought my trip to Volterra was going to be the highlight of the year, but nothing had prepared me for the real excitement. Adrian had actually proposed to Bella with our family surrounding them one bright sunny day. I don't think I'd ever seen Bella smile so widely.

Basking in the happiness of others was something I was starting to treasure more than gold. Those that would have thought me to be jealous would have been wounded by the happiness upon my face right now. As close as we had always been, Bella had been my shoulder for so many years and it pleased me that she was now getting her moment in the sun. I had never seen her so happy and that warmed me to the very depths of my soul.

It was difficult for me to head back into the Fey world, but I kept my thoughts to myself, for I wanted to be included in Bella's special moment. The Fey world held such conflicting thoughts for me and made my mind worry over a variety of problems that I couldn't seem to catch with my fingers. I knew I still had to work through what had happened last year. Though it had been laid to rest, it still plagued my thoughts from time to time.

I suppose it was difficult to acknowledge that life was different now and non-threatening. I was living my life to the fullest but there was still a lingering darkness in my mind that worried me more than I'd like to admit. Shaking myself away from the dark thoughts, I focused on the present and the glorious sights I was seeing before me. It was clear that a big celebration was being had in the Fey world to celebrate the engagement of Bella and Adrian. I could hardly blink for all the brightness I was seeing. I felt that with everything I was seeing, you'd be hard pressed to find someone unhappy with the celebrations that were going on.

It was like looking through a pin-hole of what Bella's life would become. Apart from seeing the three Kings of Volterra, I had no interaction with Royalty or what they would be like. The tour around the main city in horse and carriage, was an experience unlike any I had had before. The sights, the sounds, the atmosphere, everything was joyous, and it made you want to be joyous with it. The only damper was the ache in my arm for waving for so long, but I suppose that was something I could put up with. Our trip around the city centre was supposed to conclude with a grand celebration dinner in the kingdom's castle.

Alice had been the goddess who had gone overboard in making sure everyone was dressed to impress and fit in with the Fey world but dressed in a way that wouldn't show-up the hosts or Bella. I could tell that Edward was enjoying the festivities that were going on around us, I could see his eyes drinking in everything that he saw and filing it away for later perusal. It made me smile seeing how much Edward was enjoying himself and how free of worry we both were.

Dinner was a grand affair and I couldn't help myself falling for every course that ended up on my plate as well as wondering where I was putting all this food and how I wasn't bursting at the seams. It was hard to keep track of everything that was happening when things seem to have moved on with a blink of my eye. It seemed that everything was done here with a flair of the dramatic and a flair of urgency. I didn't know how my sister, was going to cope with all this drama as she was the least dramatic person I knew. I enjoyed watching her face with amusement as she blushed and mumbled her way through her own speech and then floundered through the speeches of others when they called upon her. Bella would have to get over her embarrassment over public speaking and being the centre of attention for she was marrying into Royalty and would always be on display in one way or another.

I knew I would do my best to be there for whatever trouble Bella found her in because I would not want to leave her struggling in deep water without a paddle. I knew she would do the same thing for me. The act of letting my sister, my twin, and the other half of me go was something I had come to terms with long ago. I knew that the life she was sailing towards was the best thing for her and it would be selfish of me to want to keep her to myself for the rest of time. Still, as much as I was happy for my sister, I did feel a little twinge of sadness that we no longer relied on each other to give everything we needed.

Logically, I knew our lives were far better since our move to Forks and was enjoying the rewards that life had given us, but I still struggled with change. It was something I imagined that I would always struggle with.

Edward touched my hand in enquiry and I realised I'd been so involved in my own thoughts that I hadn't realised the speeches were over and that everyone was getting up to dance. I was in a mindset where my thoughts seem to be running away with me, but I tried my best to stay in the present world and not retreat inside myself.

Dancing with Edward made me feel like a Princess at a ball. Dancing with Edward was always something I cherished, it almost made me feel like a different person, a better version of myself who was graceful and charming. As Edward swung me around the hall I found myself smiling as I looked upon the dancing of my family around me. I kept homing in on Bella – it was her day – but I'd never seen her more beautiful, happier, or more in love. Like a broken record my feelings and thoughts towards Bella went around in circles but I couldn't feel frustrated with myself because I was riding high on so many positives.

Being around everyone made me miss our life in Forks. I love university and I loved being with Edward twenty-four seven, but I missed the days when we were all together in one unit. Though my passion and talent drove me to excel at university I sometimes condemned myself for wanting so much and for travelling so far from my family. Change was a funny thing, I always wanted it until I had it, then I wished everything would go back to a time before.

Today was not the right time to talk to Edward but with merriment on such a high and the lights twinkling above my head in delight, I felt that this moment was the right moment. I had put it off for long enough and Lauren had been right, things between us were festering. The happiness we had at this great event would pale in comparison to unsaid words if we both continued to ignore the problem.

"Could we talk Edward?"

Alarmed was his face at my words but he nodded nonetheless.

I led him away from the dancing, out through a large open window and towards the balcony beyond. I felt much like Cinderella standing on the balcony in my gown, about to let my true feelings out without knowledge of how my Prince Charming would react.

It was one of those situations where I knew we'd be better for the interaction but that, at the same time, a situation where I didn't know what interaction would happen.

"Are you alright Ella?" he asked.

"I am fine Edward, happy even but we need to talk."

"Talk about what?"

"What has happened to us these last few months. We have both forgotten reason and have been fighting with our emotions, causing a lot of hurt for each of us."

"I thought we had laid this to rest."

"Edward, we need to talk about things. You need to recognise that I am jealous of the attention you get and hurt by your continuing association with people who want to split us up. In turn, you need to accept that I can have friend's outside of our family and that not every guy I befriend wants me sexually."

"But they do!"

"Yet you know in your heart that I would never stray from your side. Edward, this is what I mean. We're both letting our emotions escalade and our grip of control is waning. We need to be able to work through our problems and not alienate each other. I am happy that you have made friends, but you tend to ignore your common sense. I have no problem with most friends you have but the ones that are trying to break us up or the ones that openly flirt with you have got to go. The anxiety their presence is causing me, is not good for my mental health."

"I thought we had gotten past this, but it seems like a thorn in our sides. I must apologise Ella, things have gotten away from me and I have put a distance in our relationship. It wasn't intentional, I was merely enjoying university in a way I never had before. I didn't realise the damage it was doing to our relationship. I kept getting so angry when you would get jealous. I had thought that stepping out of the bubble would be different this time with you by my side, but I was blinded to what was going on around me. I only saw your jealousy and resistance to me having friends when I should have listened to what you were telling me and opened my mind to see it first-hand. I do not like hearing what every male would like to do to you, but I can see that you keep them at arm's length, only offering friendship and nothing more. I did not give you the same curtesy and I apologise."

"The same curtesy? Edward did you do something with someone?"

"Oh god, no! I didn't mean you to jump to that conclusion, I just meant that I didn't acknowledge that those girls wanted anything other than friendship from me. I was so angry thinking you didn't trust me that I openly encouraged their behaviour without thinking on how it would affect you or our relationship. I am sorry for the hurt I have caused you, I hope we can move past this."

"This is what I have wanted for months Edward, a calm, polite conversation where we can get our feelings heard and work through the issues. Our avoidance of the subject has only allowed the problem to fester. You are my mate Edward, for me there is no one else in the world that I would want to stand by my side. Never forget that I love you with all my heart, arguments are a fact but if we stand strong together and continue to talk things through, I think we will be fine."

"I have been doing a lot of thinking lately and it was through that thinking and talking to various members of our family that I realised what an idiot I'd be. I promise that in the future, I will listen to you and the advice and concerns you bring to me. I promise that I shall always be by your side to guide you through this world. I promise to always love you and care for you, to comfort you and keep you safe. I am proud of all we've achieved, our difficulties have shaped our relationship and our lives, I agree with you, if we are open and honest, our relationship will flourish and hopefully we won't find ourselves in a situation like this again."

It was, like the weight of the world had been lifted and I sagged where I stood, the worry lines on my brow vanished and I felt peace wash over me. It wasn't as explosive as I thought it would be, nor as strenuous on my emotions as I had predicted. It seemed we had finally found the peace we needed to talk through this problem. It was, to me, like taking the first step in a new direction, a turn in our relationship where we were a bit more grounded, honest, and open. I could only hope that things continued that way.