"What do you mean you can't be here?!" I hissed down the phone at a frantic Tina.

"I'm sorry, something's come up with my parents, I don't know how long it will take." in the background I hear Tina packing as she talked.

"I need you!" despite the initially terrifying opening, I'd come to rely on Tina to help with organising everything.

"I'll send you a list of things that need doing, I'll be back on the day, I promise. You'll be fine!"

"Fine!? I have no idea what I'm doing!"

"Calm down, most of this is already done, you just have make it sure it comes together, easy. I have to go!"

She hung up and I put the phone down. The wedding was a week away, one week. Surely not much can go wrong.

As if on cue, the phone rang. I frowned and picked off my desk from on top of the various pieces of paper on my desk. Alice was on the caller ID.

"What's up Alice?"

"Er, you're not going to believe this."

"Don't tell me you can't make it."

"No, I can make it, but, erm."

"What's happened?" I asked, feeling resigned to the news.

"Okay, so, I was showing the bridesmaid dress to my flatmate as she's making dinner."

This doesn't sound good. I thought.

"And moved her hand down on the knife handle and it flew off! Like, Loony Toon physics, it hit everything wildly, and then landed on the dress..."

"Point down?"

"Covered in tomatoes as well."

I couldn't help it, I just started laughing. I might have been going mad.

"You've stabbed your dress, and now it looked like it's bleeding?"

"I've murdered my dress!" Alice cried, laughing as well. "It's a crime against fashion!"

We giggled to ourselves until I managed to get into my Head mindset.

"Okay, see if you can fix it and get it to the dry cleaners, or get back here and we'll see about another one."

"Will do, I'll try not to murder it this time!"

"Good, Tina is the fashion police."

"So's my mum."

I think we shuddered simultaneously.

"We shall endeavour not to get arrested."

"Yes boss, how many shall I silence to ensure this?"

"We'll leave it at the dress for now, but should anything else occur, eliminate any witnesses."

"Yes sir!" she hung up and I let out a sigh, good mood fading, maybe that will be the end of it.

That lasted until I heard a small boom from the lounge the next morning.

Taboo and I were up instantly and running to see smoke poured out of our (well, Jamie's, mine broke years ago) stereo, and Jamie was kneeling in front of it in his pyjamas.

"Do I want to know?" I asked as Taboo shook her head blearily, we were going to use that for the wedding.

"I can fix it, just give me a minute."

"It's got smoke pouring out of it."

"I've got it!" he insisted. This whole thing was getting us both stressed. I dreaded to think how the groomsmen planning was going.

A second later one of the buttons on the stereo popped off and hit him on the forehead. He sprung to his feet, dropping the screwdriver and cursing, rubbing his forehead all the while. I just looked at the growing red patch on his forehead and waited for his cursing to calm down.

"Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?"

He swore at me as well. Explicitly.

Taboo growled at him, but I was calm, even slightly amused. "I'm sure you'd have a great time doing that until I froze something."

Jamie snorted and then doubled over laughing. After a good minute he managed to stop and look at me. "Do you know what you said?"

"Yes." I said, "it's probably on our mom's minds, so..."

"You never make those jokes."

"We're getting married in less than a week, I'm in a weird mood."

"Don't remind me-"

"Having second thoughts already?"

"No, it's the bloody stereo. Why did it have to blow out now?"

I crouched down as he prepared to attack it with the screwdriver again.

"Look, my parents have got one, we can ask them if we can borrow it. Adding repairing this to the list while we're bankrupt won't help."

"I know, it's just piling up."

"Well, if we manage not to kill anyone until after the honeymoon then we'll be fine."

We both started chuckling as the stereo began to release less smoke. Taboo was still at a wary distance.

"Or each other." Jamie added, still laughing.

"Statistically, we are the most likely people to kill each other."

Jamie snorted. "Oh god that's morbid."

"You did know who were asking to marry right?"

"True." We chuckled again.

"Let's leave the stereo, it'll run out of smoke eventually." I wasn't too comfortable with a potential fire hazard around, but Taboo and I are sensitive enough to heat that we'd notice pretty quickly.

"I could make toast on it." Jamie mused.

"You do that, let me know how it goes." I went to go get my cereal and was looking forward to seeing how Jamie was going to toast his breakfast on the stereo.

"So, can you fix it?" I asked hopefully as Nigel investigated the stereo. It was sat on his work bench, surrounded by half finished projects, nuts, bolts and various tools.

"It's kaput." Nigel declared, tapping the plastic exterior. "Dead as a doornail."

"There's nothing you can do?"

"Well, there a couple of spells that might do it..." Nigel trailed off when he saw the look on my face. "Jackie, I'm not that bad at magic."

"Um, your track record is, sporadic."

"Fine, if you don't trust me."

"It'll be easier on both of us if I just borrow my parents on the day."

Nigel still had the mock sadness on his face, for an old man he can act so much like a small child at times.

"I'll let you lose on it after the wedding." I said, picking up the stereo protectively. "See you then."

Admittedly this one is in a similar vein to the first chapter. Damn, there aren't as many differences as I thought. Then again, if I had sat on it longer it would probably have never gotten done.

HOGMimpossible Wedding Mini Series Part 4