Marvin the Martian came down from the sky in his spaceship.
He was a funny looking little man, dressed in a kilt and helmet. Despite his goofy appearance, he was dangerous. By craft, guile, and murder he had crossed the boundless stars, seeking warmer climes and easier living.
Marvin was weary of living on his feet, always on the move. He was on the lookout for some fat prosperous little community where he could hold sway without much argument.
Then he spotted Kotir. "A grand ruin that's seen better days, but the possibilities are there," he said to himself. "Backed by woodland, fronted by flatland, practically skirting a road used by travelers- it's a dream come true!"
He parked his ship in the ditch by the roadside, out of sight. Then he got out and circled around Kotir to spy out the lie of the land. The more he saw of Kotir, the more he fancied it. "There will be no more freezing winters on Mars once I get control of this place!" he murmured excitedly.
Striding purposefully around the woodland edge at the south side, he practically bumped into Tsarmina. It would have been hard for a bystander to tell who was more surprised, the alien or the cat. As Tsarmina quickly nocked an arrow to the bow she was carrying, Marvin's hand shot down to the laser blaster in his belt. There was a moment's silence as they both stood still, gathering their wits. Finally, Marvin pointed toward the fortress.
"Whose place is this?"
"It is mine. Who are you?" Tsarmina demanded haughtily.
"They call me Marvin the Martian."
Tsarmina growled. She hated that name because it reminded her of Martin.
"I'm a fighter, but if there's an easier way of getting what I want I'll always try it," Marvin continued.
"Hmm, a fighter. My name is Tsarmina, Queen of the Thousand Eyes. That's my headquarters; it is called Kotir."
"Are you in need of fighters? I have sixty Instant Martians with me. My spaceship is parked in the ditch there."
"I don't trust Toons. Why should I trust you?"
"Ha, who trusts who these days?" Martin snorted. "I'm not particularly fond of cats."
"Tell you what," said Tsarmina. "You say you have threescore warriors at your command. What would be your terms if you came to serve Kotir?"
"Make me an offer."
"I'll do better than that. I'll make you a guarantee, Marvin," Tsarmina told the alien. "There are certain creatures- otters, squirrels, mice, hedgehogs… woodlanders. One time they used to serve my family, now they choose to live in Mossflower Woods and resist me. Once we have flushed them out of hiding together and enslaved them, then you can have an equal place alongside me. We will rule Mossflower jointly." This was a lie, of course.
Marvin took his hand off his blaster. "Done! I'll take you at your word." Once we've conquered the woodlanders, I'll strap you to a rocket and send you up into space without a helmet. Then I can rule Mossflower alone, he thought.
"And I will take you at yours," Tsarmina replied. If you give me any trouble, I've always got my vat of Dip, she thought.
Their untruthful eyes smiled falsely at each other.
The spaceship rose from the ditch and landed next to them. A hatch opened, and the Instant Martians stepped out. They looked like green birds with long necks.
Tsarmina led them all inside. When the Kotir soldiers saw the aliens, they were a little scared. Marvin cast scornful eyes over the ill-fed soldiers in their cumbersome livery.
Fortunata and Skalrag came up to Tsarmina. "Milady, who are these creatures?" Fortunata asked.
"This is Marvin the Martian. He has come to help us against the woodlanders. Now if you'll excuse me, we're going up to my room."
Tsarmina brought Marvin up to her chamber to talk about strategy. She listened to his ideas with respect; treachery could come later, but for now she gave the alien full credit as an experienced campaigner.
Marvin's plan was simple. "Don't give 'em an inch; show them you mean business; forget about subterfuge and spies- that only makes for prolonged war- strike hard and be ruthless. We have the superior number of trained fighters. Start tomorrow morning, have the full strength out in skirmish line, comb the forest thoroughly, kill any who resist and take the rest prisoner. It's the only way to get results, believe me."
"Bold words, Marvin," Tsarmina told him approvingly. "But have you tried fighting squirrel archers? They can vanish through the treetops as quick as you can think."
"Then burn the trees, or chop them down. I've seen it all before. If small creatures scurry down holes, then block them up, fill every possible exit. That's all they understand. You take my word, it works every time."
"Then we'll start tomorrow morning," Tsarmina said decisively.
"At first light!"
Outside, Skalrag had his ear pressed to the door. He had heard enough. This was bad news for his woodlander friends.
He raced to a windowsill, where Tweety was waiting. "Have dere been any new developments?" the bird asked.
"Yeah, bad ones. There's an alien from outer space at Kotir now. He's an expert fighter. He and Tsarmina are planning an ambush, as deep as they can get into Mossflower in one early morning march. Tomorrow, they plan to set out at dawn in a skirmish line, killing or capturing all before them."
"Dat's no good. I better go tell da Cowim leaders!"
Tweety flew to Brockhall as fast as he could.