Chapter Eighteen – The Storms We Carry
The moment Isuzu entered the small room, Yui stood up, hands unresting as if plagued by a never-ending electricity. And her eyes had the same quality. With the grey skies outside warning that a rain would fall at any minute and some snacks at the table, it would be a good time to just curl up and rest, yet there was nothing that helped to create such a atmosphere now.
"How it was? How do you think you did?" The words almost overlapped each other, something the girl couldn't help. Those moments always made her nervous and today, the feeling was elevated. Something she was more than willing to blame on the predicament.
Isuzu shruggedweakly, gesturing a "more or less".
"I'm not sure... Good enough, I hope..." And sighed. They all had expected the exams to be complicated, but Thoth had been merciless. Isuzu would be lying if she said it hadn't felt more like a college entrance exam, rather than something more high school-like, considering all the questions and subjects.
Yui nodded, aware of those sensations. She always got nervous before and after the exams, her mind going back to the questions and planting seeds of doubts about all her answers, no matter how certain she had felt while answering.
"We studied..." Isuzu muttered, failing to sound completely sure of herself. "We did our best..." If she was like this due to be mentally tired or because she could very well imagine Thoth's calling her and the others to his library only to give them a huge lecture about their grades and the need to graduate or even because her own imagination was whispering how this could also count as a factor that would end up caging them all here until the end of times, Isuzu had no idea.
For all the time spent and all the "getting used to the situation", it was either ridiculous or creepy how somethingas a school exam could bring all back. Sitting down in the small couch of the Studies Room, she sighed once more.
"What about you?"
"I think... Well..." Yui hesitated. "I guess I have to have answered at least one question right..." The attempt at a joke worked to make both girls smile a little and Isuzu leaned to pick one of the cupcakes of the table.
"I suppose he will give us retakes if we get red marks..."
"Maybe... How much times is left anyway?" She turned to check the clock on the wall. Ten minutes left. "They better be finishing soon..."
"Unless they want Thoth basically tearing the paper off their hands. You know, I thought Tsukito would be the first to finish things" Isuzu had noticed how he was a fast writer and considering how he paid attention to studies...
"Maybe he is writing all the info he can. I do that, when I'm unsure if my answer's enough. Better to mess up by excess, I think..." The honey-eyed girl then tried to change the subject to something more pleasant as she relaxed against the armchair, resting her head and closing her eyes. "In a way or another, winter vacation is getting close"
"True! At last, huh?" Funny how those times always made the year appear as though it had gone by faster than it had actually.
"Oh, finally indeed! No classes. No studies." Yui opened one of her eyes, looking at Isuzu. "I would say no worries, but..."
"It isn't exactly how things work around here" Isuzu's mouth twisted in a small grin. She could imagine well how Loki would dedicate his free time to more elaborate pranks... Although those still ranged from annoying to funny depending of what he did, she had to admit it would help to prevent boredom.
"Wish we could do something. Zeus could at least allow us to... I don't know, change the scenario."
"My parents were talking about traveling at the beginning of the year..." Yui couldn't help but to remember. "Well, suppose we can still go, I mean... Thoth said we'll be back to the exact time of when we left, so..."
"Where would you go?"
"My aunt lives in another city. Kinda rural, pretty calm. We went there before several times, but the last one was... Let me see... Oh, I guess two years ago." She remembered aunt Ruka, her father's sister. She was beautiful and kind... Yui had always loved to visit her even when she was small because Ruka never treated her or her brothers like children, never talking to them in a "baby voice" or fussing over how "cute" they were.
"I mean, she would comment how we were growing up, how my brothers were becoming handsome and how I was going to be a beautiful woman, but never in that way of "Oh, lookit at her, so pretty", you know?"
"One my mother's friends used to talk like that about me and Arisu" Isuzu nodded, understanding what Yui meant. "It used to drive Arisu mad, even when we were younger. She hated people talking about her as if she wasn't there..." The girl stopped for a moment, considering. "To be honest, it annoyed me too when people talked like that"
It was a little hard to imagine Isuzu angered, but Yui had no problems imagining a younger, sulky Arisu with an older woman fussing around her. Though Yui had to say, it was also adorable.
"Do you..."
Before Isuzu could finish her question, the sound of the door made her turn her head. Apollon entered in silence, taking a seat at an armchair near Yui and looking less brighter and energetic than before.
"Howdo you humans stand that?" He muttered as if more to himself than to any of them. "I never want to do those exams again..."
"Who does?" Yui mumbled as she observed the Sun God. At least she and the others were used to this sort of thing, but she doubted any of the gods had ever had to face something even similar. And Thoth, who didn't believe in going easy on his students, had probably planned the exams with this in mind.
Now she was imagining him with a "Dark Lord" sort of smile as he chuckled diabolically while writing the questions. Her lungs shivered with a repressed laugh.
"Thoth didn't make things easy" She commented, her muscles relaxing once more. "Usually, we don't have exams with more than one subject at once. Except college entrance, but those are different"
Apollon shook his head. His mind felt buzzing and he couldn't help but to be worried about the results. Of course, the main part of the reason was obvious, yet there was also how serious he was about this learning. What had begun with curiosity and the excitement with something new had turned into something far more solid. Even if one was to take away the threat over his head, he had realized after talking to Yui that he would still want to succeed in this school.
"Perhaps this is how they feel" He considered, taking in account how important those exams were in their lives. It wasn't easy to fully understand a concept that was so alien to him until he tried and gave all of himself at it. Not that he had made an effort and was worried about his grades because of them (well, at least not completely), but also because of himself.
He smiled a little to Yui and Isuzu.
"Well... Not like I can change my answers now, right?" He scratched the back of his head. "But I'm still nervous about it"
"Join the club" Isuzu chuckled, though the heaviness post-exams was slowing drifting away as they talked. "And like Yui and I were saying, think about the winter vacation, they will be here soon"
"And then, it will be our final Semester..."
The though had less relief than she had expected, but Isuzu didn't dwell much on it.
"Think we will have snow?" Balder asked as he entered the room, soon taking a seat at Isuzu's side in the couch. "I know it tends to fall at this time of the year in many places, but..."
"But Zeus might surprise us..." Yui completed the thought, sharing a knowing look with Apollon. None of them had forgotten the little "prank" (for lack of better word) that Zeus had pulled on them back in the beach.
"I hope he doesn't. Except for that day, we got normal seasons until now..." Except on some days when the temperature changed too much or too brusquely, but it wasn't anything that would break the sensation of a firm cycle. Just on the other day, she had noticed how the air was getting chiller, announcing the coming winter "It wouldn't feel quite like winter otherwise"
At least in her opinion.
Balder smiled, caressing her head. The touch sent a shock to her nerves that wasn't born of pleasantness. It held her connections, freezing flesh under skin as spiders played with her muscles... Yet, her body was still master of hiding such reactions enough so the others didn't notice.
Balder either didn't feel her head twitching for a second in a shiver that was almost a tick or perhaps didn't mind it. Isuzu tried to relax as his gentle fingers caressed her head.
"How the exam went for you, Bal-Bal?"
Balder allowed his fingers to run through Isuzu's hair as he dropped his hand. Outside, a sound of small drops against glass begun, denouncing the falling rain.
"Although many things here have been quite interesting and fun, that was not one of them." The comment earned him some repressed giggles. "I think I did good" At least good enough. He could bet Takeru would soon be muttering about how humans could get tired mentally faster than gods. On the other hand, he would quite agree that Thoth-sensei had made the exams extra complicated on the account of them being gods.
As Misaki had commented on the other day, there was even something funny about gods taking exams at school and being worried, like humans. Loki had just mumbled that the only way to find anything amusing on it would be at the ludicrousness of it.
"Please, tell me it is over." It was Loki, now, entering the room and falling on the other couch, face down and, in Yui's opinion, giving the appearance of someone who had been ran over. The others also came in, soon taking the remaining couches and armchairs.
"We had exams before" Misaki commented, following him and crossing her arms on the back of the couch, watching him as Thor took a seat at Isuzu's other side.
"Those were worse"
"Eeeeh..." Misaki dragged the sound, before shrugging. "Yeah, I can't argue with you there." With Loki taking in the whole couch, she walked around it, intending on sitting next Ren and Hades (a surprise that he hadn't opted to remain standing as he often did), however Thor moved a little, giving space at the same moment.
Catching the Thunder deity's stare, Misaki smiled in a way of thanking him before sitting down.
"Thoth-sensei said he will give the results after tomorrow" Arisu commented from her spot. "And that we will make some revisions during those last weeks..." The info didn't surprise any of them. Isuzu wondered for a moment what Thoth thought about the vacations, after all, he was as stuck there as the rest of the them. For a moment, the girl wondered if they should plan activities for this time and invite him...
"Yeah, right, he would probably go on about how this is a waste of time and if said activity doesn't help in the graduation, then it is a waste of time..." But still, Isuzu couldn't help it. It was a little difficult to have the usual barrier between student-teacher as stronger as it was back on her old school. Well, even there there were teachers who were actual friends with the students. Keeping authority in class, yes, but...
"Figures" Misaki muttered to herself, she hadn't been surprised when he had told them to remind the others of such.
"But" Yui said a little loud. "What matters is that we have just some time before vacation. Vacation. Time to relax, to enjoy things, you know? So there!"
Some of the others had to hold a laugh at Yui pretending to be all bossy, even holding her head high and doing her best to play the part down to her expression. Arisu and Takeru exchanged glances that were far too alike and grinned.
"More free time, at least" He said, his eyes once more giving that bestial glint. While it was still too predatory for her instincts to not react accordingly, Arisu narrowed her eyes almost playfully.
"Maybe you can work on learning how to actual swim"
"Oh, is that a challenge, Porcupine?"
The exchange would have been taken as hostile if it wasn't for their tone. From his spot, Loki had turned his head, one silvery eye staring at the two from behind some wild bangs.
"Honestly, that's all you both can think about?" He snarled. "How boring"
Arisu made a conscious effort to not snap at him, trying to reason with herself that he was probably just tired. Not to mention it was raining, which (from what she had gathered before), could affect his mood.
"Hey, it is fun, okay? What, it's not like we can, I dunno, travel to Paris, right?" He offered no answer to this, but his visible eye was still piercing her. Arisu wasn't sure of what this meant and decided to let go. It wasn't as if deciphering Loki was easy anyway.
"So, here's to vacation!" She concluded, throwing her back against the armchair and letting her arms fall on the armrest. "And please, can we not talk about the exams?"
Misaki at once picked a cupcake and raised it as if it was a glass of wine, saluting the idea before biting it.
XxX
There were many times when words were completely unnecessary for Isuzu and Arisu. Perhaps it was being twins or because it was the way their family was, but there were moments when just sitting near each other in silence was enough for them to understand.
The rain was just a soft curtain of water, but as they walked across one of the hallways near the gardens looking through the carved windows, they started to think about how they had commented earlier on with the others about the approaching winter.
Arisu suddenly took a sit on a windowsill, not caring if some raindrops were pushed by the wind and whipped her legs. Isuzu sat at her side, both of them imagining the gardens covered in white, staying in silence for a long time until Arisu turned to her sister.
"What do you think Ren and Dionysus will do with the plants?" It had occurred to Arisu that many of the flowers had survived the growing cold, though the trees had already been stripped of most of their leaves, just a few stubborn specimens insisted on holding to the branches.
But some of the plants they had been cultivating were proving to be more resistant than expected. Ren had said she suspected it was either because of Dionysus or Zeus (who either had talked to Demeter or made the plants survive by his will alone, which the others also considered a strong probability. If he could turn humans into animals or stones, that would be simple).
Arisu had briefly wondered the reason. She wouldn't just say it out loud, but she didn't see Zeus as someone who would care about such things and would sooner believe it was due to Dionysus. After all, the shackles hadn't completely suppressed their powers, so there.
But even with this, they would probably had to do something to protect at least the flowers from the snow.
"Perhaps they can get a greenhouse or something" Though Isuzu had no idea how it worked, not only due to her lack of knowledge on the subject, but also because she had long ago decided that you just couldn't expect things to work here as they did normally, even if this was supposed to mimic a normal human place. It was more successful than she had imagined it at first, of course, but it was better to not forget the truth.
"There is space, that's for sure" Arisu thought, her eyes still lost on the campus around. That there was space was a way of putting it, as Yui had told them how upon arriving, Apollon had taken her on his pegasus and they had seen that the fields surrounding the school were, apparently, endless.
Well, in any case, a greenhouse would shelter the plants when it started to snow... For a moment, she remembered how Isuzu and her used to play, sometimes by making snowmen or snowball wars with their friends.
With the corner of her eyes, she saw Isuzu picking a hair tie from a pocket, arranging her shining strands into a ponytail that fell on her back. She remembered then a time, years ago, when they had been playing with their parents... Isuzu and her were little, still the same height. It had been something like snowball war mixed with some sort of tag, Arisu believed, because they had had to run away from their protected area (a small area of the garden that was their "territory" they called it) and their mother had managed to tackle Isuzu down, tickling her.
Arisu had tried to save her sister... And then being subjected by a tickling attack from dad. The memory created a strange sensation in her and it was as if her vocal chords couldn't translate it, be to a sigh or grunt.
"If only things were as easy as trying to save someone like this, huh?"
"Shut up" She didn't want to think about it, not now.
"You don't want to think about it? Your sister..."
She turned to Isuzu, with a desperate need to say something, if only to help silencing that voice in her mind. But when their eyes crossed, she realized similar thoughts were plaguing Isuzu, even if just in the shape of a whisper that hadn't grown strong enough yet.
"Oh, god, is it too much to ask for the past to die?"
"I think I'll go and eat something." Arisu turned back inside the hallway, standing up before turning to her sister. "Wanna come?"
"Sure" Isuzu did the same, but her movements had a ballerina-like movement that Arisu knew she wouldn't be able to replicate if she tried. That she knew by experience.
Yes, Isuzu was always gracious...
Arisu held a sigh to herself.
Great, and wasn't it almost a rule that you should feel good after the final exams of the semester? The thought was almost hilarious, if you looked at it from a certain perspective. If things were as simple as that, life would be quite easier.
"Hey, Misaki"
Arisu lifted her head, noticing the blonde coming down the stairs and approaching them after her sister's call.
"Hi, there." She jumped the last steps, her wild-looking hair flying with the movements, smiling. "It's a little colder now, huh?"
Arisu noticed that the other girl was indeed wearing a green jacket (something she had probably got in the store) above the uniform blouse.
"A little. Where are you off to?"
"Just the cafeteria. I was thinking about go check some mangas, but I'm hungry" Misaki explained calmly, looking from one sister to another.
"Same here. About the food, I mean" Arisu frowned. "Are you sure you want to go to the library? Thoth will be probably correcting the exams"
"Yeah, and?" The other didn't see the point. It wasn't as if Thoth had the right to close the library just because he would be checking the exams. It wasn't as if he would be bothered in anyway, for crying out loud. Arisu shrugged a little.
"And... I don't know... He just doesn't seem to be the type that gets in a good mood while doing it" The three of them shared a look at that. They had had time to get to know their classmates, sure, but Thoth was still pretty much an enigma.
"You really sound like you don't like him"
Arisu looked down as their walked for a bit. Now that Misaki had said that, she realized that, actually, she had never give time to explore her feelings regarding Thoth more than the surface.
"It's not that I don't like him." The words came slowly, for as much as he had gotten in her nerves, there was nothing personal about it. It was pretty much a professional relationship, per say, even less than that. Yui and Misaki had more contact with him outside the class than she had "It's just he always seem to be... I don't know, he can be a bit of a jerk"
Misaki scoffed a laugh and Isuzu had to hide a smile. That was a way of putting things, when Thoth decided to call their attention or say they weren't doing enough for the sake of graduation.
"Well, no joke. Remember before that time we went to the beach? Or when Hades didn't want to join any club?" Isuzu shook her head. "And I still don't want to know what sort of nicknames he has for us..."
"Or when Yui and Tsukito had their hands glued"
"See! That's my point!" Arisu exclaimed. "So I kinda prefer to avoid having him breathing down my neck, thank you very much."
"He is doing it a little less, lately." Her sister commented, thinking of how often Thoth used to reprimand them when they seemed, in his eyes, to be slacking off. It wasn't that he was any less harsh, but... "I don't know if this is due to the exams or because he sees we're doing... Well, doing alright"
The other two girls nodded at it, any option could be possible. Or maybe even a third reason that they didn't even know about.
"You know, I can't help but to picture him giving classes at my school, sometimes." Misaki said thoughtfully. "Like I said, I'll never complain about Sohta-sensei again"
"He is your biology teacher, right?" Isuzu recalled Misaki had commented something about that teacher before.
"Yeah. He is quite harsh, always gives lectures about any little mistake... Like he is the only one who could ever give classes and all. There is always a teacher like this..." Misaki had once heard that even the teachers had trouble getting along with him and this hadn't come from a rumor, but from a conversation with one of them "I like my Literature teacher a lot more, she is fun. You know, she is actually friends with the students."
"We used to like Mr. Kurama, remember Arisu?"
"He was a nice guy." Arisu remembered him, from their old school. Many found him to be a little strange, or even creepy. Honestly, both twins thought this was all nonsense. Yes, Mr. Kurama was quiet, had a piercing gaze and could be scary, but he was kind. Arisu and her sister knew this better than anyone, as it had been Mr. Kurama who had offered more support to them while most of the teachers had decided to not intervene for some reason.
"Bunch of spineless, little..." A flame of old hate came back. It was hard to not hold the grudge when she remembered those events. Even Tsuzuka-sensei, who had always been in great terms with the twins had said nothing and turned a blind eye to what had been happening.
"And in your new school?"
"Well, I don't know."
"We didn't have enough classes to form an opinion before we were brought here" Arisu commented as they arrived in the cafeteria and noticed that they weren't the only ones who had decided to have lunch later than the usual hour. The spirits rarely used the place, so it was easy to spot Balder, who was just taking a seat and saying something to Loki and Thor, who saw them first.
Following his friend's gaze, Balder waved in invitation for them to approach. There was little surprise when they noticed Loki was resting his head on his crossed arms, a small plate (with what they supposed were candy) in front of him. Misaki couldn't help but to compare him to a cat and the way he was staring at them did little to weaken the comparison.
"Rain affects him this much? Geez..."
"Why don't you sit here with us?" Balder's invitation did little to Loki's mood, as the trickster god scowled, his mouth twisting.
"Yeah, not like there are any other tables"
Misaki blinked. It had been a while since he had used this sort of tone with any of them, but Arisu just rolled her eyes internally.
"That's because I thought he was being less hostile later, congratulations, Arisu, you're an idiot"
"Fine, whatever" Misaki grunted to herself. Balder, however, turned to his friend with a soft expression.
"C'mon Loki..." He started with a tone of someone asking the other to be comprehensive, but neither Isuzu was faster since she wasn't really up to deal with Loki in this state and neither was her sister.
"Look, we don't want to bother, so..." Before she could move away, thinking it would indeed be better if they picked a table away from they in order to eat in peace, Balder was already standing in front of her with a smile.
"Nonsense!" He insisted, almost pouting. "It's better together, right?"
Isuzu felt like refusing again, unsure if this was a good idea. Loki was still staring at them and it was hard to tell which of them was the focus.
"We just..." Arisu started, but Balder tilted his head to the side, not letting her finish.
"Oh, c'mon, please?" He said it as if he wouldn't accept refusals. Although still unsure, Arisu decided she might as well accept, if only to be a pest to Loki (it was a childish reason, she admitted).
"Oh, okay, okay!" Isuzu found herself smiling a little "Just let us get the food, first"
When they came back with their plates, Thor moved to give them space and Balder scooted over while keeping eye contact with Isuzu. Loki just groaned, but said nothing, still watching. He said very little, except for some snarky remarks.
While this was grating on Arisu's nerves, she caught up the confusion in Misaki's eyes and when the blonde looked at her interrogatively, she just shrugged to show she also had no reason answer to Loki's attitude. To be grumpy because of the rain was something, but it was like they were back to the beginning of the year.
"And they say women's moods are complicated"
Balder on the other hand seemed cheerful as always and Thor was also, well, calm. In his case it was harder to make a certain guess at his mood, but Misaki thought his facial muscles seemed relaxed, which she took as a positive sign.
In the end, she decided it had to be a mix of the rain and the post-exams. Plus, humans sometimes had days when their moods were awful, so it was probably something along those lines anyway.
But still, his silver stare was unsettling.
XxX
Loki's mood didn't give signs of improvement during the rest of the meal no more than the rain, thought it also didn't seem be getting any worse. Despite his displeasure at their presence during lunch, Loki didn't go out of his way to bother them. Misaki had no idea what to take of this, she had expected that pranking someone would lift his mood...
But then again, perhaps he was like a cat in this regard, when they wanted to be left alone. Only instead of getting cuddly because of the weather, he went to a hissing mood and didn't like others to be around, unless it was Balder or Loki...
Well, not that she was sure that cats did that. But Ren had mentioned that when the temperature lowered to a certain degree, her cat would always call for her attention, disregarding what Ren could be doing. Eating, studying, whatever it was, Echo didn't care. And if Ren refused to pick her up when she snuggled against her ankle or mewed, then Echo would jump and force herself into her lap.
"But I hope he will be better..." No point in lying, that had bothered her, but if he went back to his usual self, it would confirm that it had been a passing thing and not that he had suddenly changed his mind or decided he was done playing nice, or something along those lines.
As her eyes passed by the titles and book spines without actually reading the titles, Misaki admitted that she was kinda worried.
A brushing sound called her attention. Her head turned towards the end of the hallway of bookshelves. She was assaulted by the strong impression that a shadow had moved there, as if someone had been passing by quickly. Frowning, the girl went on, looking around to see if there was anyone around... It couldn't possible be Thoth. First off, he was sitting at the table, checking the exams and hadn't paid the slightest attention to her when she had entered, just casting her that stern look that probably meant "Do not disturb me and be silent"...
Or maybe he was correcting her exams and was angry that she had written some nonsense as answer? Now that she though about it, Misaki wouldn't be surprised. She had studied, she had really tried, but she supposed even a tiny mistake could stand out to someone as the god of knowledge...
That sound again! This time, around the shelf near the end of the section. Without think, Misaki went in this direction. Footsteps? The sound had a similar rhythm, but who would be walking around like that? She leaned in the end of the shelf, looking around.
Nothing.
No sign of anyone anywhere. Had she been mistaken?
"But I'm sure I heard someone!"
The girl stood for a moment, changing her weight from a foot to another. It couldn't be a mistake. Aside the sound, she was almost sure she caught a glimpse of a shadow, too. Yet, she had no idea of who could be and...
"Excuse me"
Misaki turned with a scare, seeing Thor right behind her.
"Huh?"
"Bright one there, Misaki. He is going to think you're a retarded one of those days, you know?"
The god merely gestured to the shelf with his head, as he couldn't check them with her leaning there. Mumbling an apology, Misaki stepped away. Thor's eyes started to ran over the spines, in search of a particular book, his face never giving anything away. Misaki examined the exemplars around for the first time and realized she had walked into the anthropology section or something, as all the titles around were human books written about the old Nordic civilization and their beliefs.
Was Thor checking what humans had written about him and the others or about the people who used to worship them?
"Anything interesting?" She whispered, not truly expecting an answer as she looked at some of the titles. The library was not just divided into sections, but those were also divided into subcategories and languages. It made her wonder, not for the first time, if the gods just knew every existent language... Or maybe their brains could sort of decipher them? She wouldn't be surprised at either option.
Thor picked one of the books and opened at a random page.
"There are many mistakes"
He didn't need to look at her to notice her confused expression.
"About how things were and also what truly happened"
She still had no idea if he meant regarding the civilization or the myths. Should she ask further? Thor was polite and even nice, but she wasn't sure if this could be interpreted as a invitation for questions. What if she asked something that, for him, could be considered personal?
"Well... I never read much about it, so I don't know..." It seemed the safest thing to say. Thor had never talked about whatever humans thought or wrote about him or any of the other gods, she didn't even know he cared enough to read about it.
Thor showed no reaction. Misaki would have preferred if he had scoffed, grunted, just done something. Even a snarky comment would have been better and when his gaze went to her for a moment, she felt as though she was being stabbed.
"Why do you think that is?"
"Uh... People don't have as much... As much info about how things were back then?" She had no idea if this was the case, it was just a logical guess. And also, with all the time between those ages and nowadays, weren't some details bound to be lost?
Thor kept staring at her. He knew he was making her uncomfortable, just like he knew what she was probably thinking about. Yet time wasn't the only thing to blame here. For a moment, he considered asking her what she truly knew about him. Whatever info she might had taken from those human books.
In silence, he broke eye contact and placed the book back in the shelf.
"Hey, listen... Thor... Is Loki okay?"
That was a surprise. He didn't expect her to ask such a thing.
"It's just that he seemed weird today" She hurried to explain. "And I don't know if it is because of the rain, I mean, Isuzu and I saw that he gets down in days like that, but it isn't quite a heavy rain like the other day. And he seemed even angry, I don't know if something happened, but..." Oh, great. She was babbling. It was as if something in her wanted to make up for Thor's silence.
It was probably because she was near her TPM, she always got a little tense some days before that time. And she never wanted people to misinterpret what she meant... This was something she blamed entirely on...
Thor kept studying the books. He truly hadn't expected her to ask such a thing, after all, it wasn't as if she spent time with Loki. Whatever about his behavior had affected her, it was unfounded.
He knew Loki well. Please, Odin, his father, had found Loki as a baby and both considered themselves blood brothers. They had often traveled together. He knew what was bothering him, and it wasn't just the weather.
In the night before, they had been checking their notes for today's exams and Loki had been surprisingly serious about it. But now that it was over... Well, what one could expect? Loki was a god of mischief, but he had shape-shifter and fire-related powers not only because of his "domain" (per say), but also due to his nature.
Realizing that he was taking this ordeal seriously (and not only because of the graduation) was too close to accepting Zeus' terms to his liking. Loki wasn't someone who took well to bending to other's will and threats, not like that, and the realization that he was fitting well with this school life... It was confusing. He would never just accept the way Zeus handled things, but on the other hand, it could be pleasant at times. As if that wasn't enough, there was the fact that those lifestyles were meant to simulate that of normal humans.
And to enjoy even that... It didn't matter if it was just at times...
The fact that said emotion existed was against their very nature. A fox didn't enjoy living like a rabbit. A horse couldn't adapt to live like a lion. This was something those girls would never be able to understand, of this he was certain, because they were still themselves.
And he wouldn't even bother trying to explain.
It was natural that such conflicted emotions became annoying. And when Loki got like that, he could lash out to others (except him or Balder). Unable to just do something against Zeus, he could only stay in a sour mood and lash out verbally at the Hironezumi twins and Aihara.
And he was worried about Balder as well...
And so was Thor.
However, he wouldn't ever tell any of this to anyone. And honestly, a part of him felt more like ignoring the question and leave her to think whatever she wanted and believe whatever she wanted... Only that Aihara remained quiet, just looking at him with a blush taking over her face, denouncing her embarrassment. Thor couldn't remember if he had ever saw her like this. Taking in the way she had started to ramble, he could guess she didn't want him to think she was being intrusive.
"It's not that has to do with you or the others" His voice came a lot softer than his usual absent tone. "Don't mind it"
Misaki saw this was the better explanation she was going to get, but at least it wasn't as if she and others had done something wrong. Usually she wouldn't care much, but considering how things seemed to be improving lately... In the end, she nodded in acceptance.
Thor noticed the light waves in her eyes, indication first a little doubt, then acceptance and some sort of relief. He wondered the reason for it as he stayed in silence for a moment, considering if he should say what he had just thought or not. Usually, with Balder or Loki, he didn't words to convey anything. And if you thought about it, there was nothing to gain from a conversation with her, right?
But he thought about Kusanagi. That day of the Cultural Even, the way she had showed such eagerness when he started to tell about some compositions of the music of his era. It had started with a simple comment, more because they had to make that event work, but the interest she had demonstrated... He had been unable to refuse answering her questions or telling more when she asked.
If humans didn't have remains of it, it was because of their own destructive behavior. It hurt him and the others to see so up close how those civilizations with which they formed a sort of bond had been erased by other humans...
In those books, in the replicas of vases and sculptures... They saw a cemetery of old memories. If memories could be carved into those objects, it wouldn't be of glorious times and feasts... Those would weaken compared to the memories of blood and torture and war.
"You were afraid of losing the progress you consider to have made towards graduation?" The question had no purpose whatsoever except to work as a distraction. He wouldn't go down that line of thought. Not now. He had thought about such things over and over in course of the centuries, reaching his conclusions. To start doing it again now would be useless.
He also didn't want to think about because of those girls. It would be impossible to not relate them to his convictions and Thor had no interest in what could happen from that.
Misaki frowned for a moment, taking in his words and their meaning.
"You mean... You think I got worried... Just because of the graduation?"
Thor just stared at her. She had to look up in order to look in his eyes... His lack of expression and verbal response, this time, were enough for her and the girl was twisted between her own annoyance born of offense and his assumption and a renewed sort of... Hurt, she supposed.
"What on Earth gave you this idea?" Though she kept her voice whispered, as the last thing she needed was for Thoth to kick her out of the library for making too much noise, she did nothing to hide her shock. "Look, it's not like it, okay?"
Thor just stared at her, an almost imperceptible twitch of his eyebrows the closest to a reaction. Misaki sighed, aware she wouldn't get much of him even if she asked... It was as if Thor had reached his quote of words for the day. Running her hand through her hair, she sighed. He wouldn't just say that, he wasn't the type to just "say things"... So why...?
Maybe it was because she and Loki weren't close and, as such, the best justification for her question was that graduation? That stupid thing! Did he think that was all they worried about?
"Look..." The word came a hiss between her teeth. "Loki and I aren't exactly friends, I know. But I don't have to be close to a classmate, or anyone for that matter, in order to worry if they seem to not be alright. The graduation has nothing to do with this, okay, Thor?"
"You can be strange humans" It was not a comment or a question, but a statement of fact, which Misaki very much doubted. In her book, that was called "being nice", as childish as her choice of terms could sound.
But this made her remember back to the Cultural event. How they had said the differences between them didn't have to matter unless they decided otherwise. She had back then wondered if they were too different to even be friends and now the question plagued her mind again...
"Is that why you hate humans?"
Whatever Thor had been expecting that girl to say, it hadn't been that. Her voice now had none of the growing aggravation of before and he wondered what had crossed her brain in order to invoke this change. She sounded... Quiet, gentle... Almost sad in a way.
She sighed and despite the height difference, kept looking in his eyes.
"We're not stupid, you know. I'm not stupid. All of you are here because you distanced yourselves from humanity..." A small shrug of one shoulder. "I may not know what sort of bond you still have with humans... Or even what causes this connection to be important... I am, after all, just a human"
The meaning behind this was clear. It was not a hidden accusation that they might see them as inferior, but rather the acknowledgment that perhaps said things were far too great for her mind to wrap around them. Considering the arrogance that entailed being human, this wasn't the sort of thing he had heard from humans very often.
"But I know that all of you are here for some reason." She continued in that tone. For a moment, Thor felt something tangled inside of him. As if those convictions of ages, that never had needed to be shaped in sounds, were trying to do just that.
"Something about humans made you dislike us. I don't know what is, but... I'm sorry"
If someone had told him that he would ever hear this phrase, he would have immediately been convinced that it was a lie, some human attempt at seeming nice. The problem was, he was far too good at paying attention to what could be hidden underneath sounds and the skin that hid the face. The problem was... It was hard to lie to him. And he couldn't find even the intention of it in the girl.
For some reason, it would have been better if she had it.
He leaned against her, caging her between his body and the shelf. Misaki felt her breath stopping as her heart gave a leap, reactions that had nothing to do with pleasant feelings. If anything, it was the sensation of his aura scrapping against her skin, piercing it to reach her muscles.
"Are you aware of what, even with those shackles, we could do?"
She could imagine. The primordial fear that awakened at those times screamed. Her mind run over scenarios of her body undoing itself and still keeping her sensations alive. Her nerves cried out, as if they were already melting, her bones being twisted to a shape that shouldn't retain life...
In this fog of natural fear, it occurred to her that perhaps the shackles weren't just to keep the gods from rebelling and keep the fragile existence of this said garden, but also for the protection of the humans representatives.
Thinking about it, if people could take their frustration and anger on others, perhaps it wouldn't be ridiculous to assume gods could do this as well... Yet, time had passed. And this thought would be far more frightening at the beginning of the year than now...
She looked back at him, ignoring the thunder in her ears.
"I have some ideas..."
He looked at her, taking notice of how her voice (though shivering) still held calmness, despite the fear that he could almost taste. Thor wasn't sure why he had even taken such action... For some reason, he didn't want to hear her saying those words anymore and had just reacted.
How could he just... It wasn't in him to act impulsively like that...
His arm was against the shelf, above her head, increasing her appearance of a cornered animal. Except that the fear was, if not gone, reigned by some other thing that he couldn't fully understand...
How could someone who looked so fragile still look like that? He could hold her in his arms as an adult would carry a child, he could pick her up as a doll...
And he could break her just as easily.
It was Misaki, however, the one to reach out. And she landed her hand on his chest, not to push him away, not to show rejection, but to just form a connection.
"Whatever humans have done... I'm sorry. I really am"
He believed in her. For a moment, he wondered if she knew that, along with being god of thunder, storms, strength and fertility, he was also one of the gods that protected not only Asgard, but mankind as well.
It was something he, along with Balder and Loki, had found very ironic with the passing of ages.
Though Misaki had decided to just stay in the library for a while more before deciding what she would borrow, she accompanied Thor after he picked some books she had never seen before. When he leaned in the desk to write down the titles and his name, following the procedure, Thoth took a second to glare at him and Misaki, but neither of them realized.
But Misaki noticed, when taking a glance at the list, that Thor wasn't the only god that had taken some books.
Tsukito had borrowed a book about art.
XxX
After lunch, Isuzu had spent most of her hours merely wandering around the school, before going back to the hallway near the gardens where she and Arisu had been hours earlier before lunch...
She had stopped by the Arts Club's room to see how Ren was doing with a new song she had commented to be practicing. Dionysus was also there, just lying in one of the couches as if ready to take a nap. To Isuzu's surprise, Hades was there as well, even though he tended to isolate himself in the Astronomy Club's room (or anywhere else, actually)... True he had clearly made a point of sitting as far from possible of any of the others, but it was nice to see him there.
Ren was still a little insecure about the song, though, as (according to her) she kept making some mistakes. Isuzu just stared at the piano keys and thought she wouldn't ever be able to memorize each one of them... And wondered a little if Ren would know how to play any Christmas songs, yet didn't ask.
Now she wondered what Yui was doing. A part of her mind dedicated to lighter, passing thoughts also thought idly if they would be able to buy some movies as they had discussed yesterday. In the end, they knew very little of how that shop worked... You usually went there and picket a pamphlet according with what you wished or could leave a note with a special order. In case of the latter, the note came back with "accepted" or "rejected", depending of what you had asked for.
But if Yui and Apollon had managed to buy fireworks, who said they couldn't give it a try?
Slowly, she sat at a windowsill again, watching the rain, not feeling like doing much more and the book she had taken from the library when passing there earlier remained in her lap, unopened.
Why sometimes, out of the nowhere, thoughts we try to keep away seemed to wake and take delight at taking control of a part of the brain? She was sure Arisu also had remembered such things and wish she had something to tell her sister, but couldn't. When they had separated, Arisu had just asked if things were alright and Isuzu had said there was nothing wrong.
She doubted Arisu had believed her completely. Not about that. But Isuzu honestly wanted some time to herself, to just walk around, read or just let her mind wander. Not that this last bit had worked.
"Perhaps I should follow Dionysus' example and go take a nap. Or maybe a long, warm bath... Yeah... This sounds nice" It often helped to relax, anyway. Maybe that was the problem, she was tired and...
Warm hands on her shoulders. Her whole skin cried out and it was only the softness of the voice that stopped her from turning around struggling.
"You're too tense..."
"I'm okay, Balder" She tried to smile back despite the fright, and after a moment, his fingers started to work on her muscles. Though the intention was clearly to offer comfort, Isuzu wasn't sure this was working. It also did nothing for those old feelings that held her inside, as an organ that had long ago gone rotten and for some reason, hadn't been removed.
She had no idea what he was doing here, she had honestly thought he would spend the rest of the day with Loki and Thor, since they weren't going to have any club activities...
"Is there something in your mind?" He whispered, leaning closer. Though the words were gentle, they scratched her eardrums as needles. It took effort to not shrug him off and to keep her voice under control as she gently touched his fingers, trying to push them away as to indicate she didn't want a massage. Balder complied, but remained standing behind her.
"Not really..." She begged in her mind that her voice was not shivering, not shivering, not shivering... The god of light frowned a little, but the effect this simple gesture had on his face was enough. Perhaps it was because she was so used to see him happy and calm, but this... Even his eyes seemed sharper.
"It's very bad to lie, Isuzu-chan" He reprimanded her. "If there is something wrong, you can tell me."
There was too much seriousness in that expression and tone for her to insist on the falsehood. However, that wasn't a matter she would ever discuss with him or any of those other people. She just couldn't.
At least Balder seemed to accept her silence better than a cover-up and sighed, nuzzling her head as if trying to soothe her. In any other day or situation, it might have worked, but she wasn't in a day where she could accept physical gestures of comfort.
"You know, I'm here for you if there is something wrong"
"I... I guess I'm just tired" It wasn't exactly a lie, right? He wouldn't be able to see through it so easily, after all, the exams had taken hours, it was the end of the semester and it was natural that some of them would feel a little drained out, right?
His eyes studied her for a while, but he seemed to accept that. Isuzu only wished that fear that had just came alive again would go back to the hole she thought she had been able to bury that in. It wasn't the first time she had those sensations again, but Balder was, well, a friend.
Slowly, he took a seat at her side. She noticed how the few drops that could reach them avoided him, which gained her curiosity for a moment. Balder, on his side, would have liked to try holding her hand, but he had picked up soon that whatever the matter was with Isuzu, she didn't want to be touched.
"We will have more free time, hm?"
"Huh? Ah..." Oh, he was talking about vacations. "Y-Yeah, I suppose..."
Whatever Balder wanted to say, he didn't get the chance. An arm came around his neck, pulling him close in something that could be either a hug or an attempt at suffocation.
"Hiya, Bal-Der" Loki said as he let his body almost fall over the other deity. Balder soon laughed of it.
"Hey, Loki, you're heavy" There was good humor in there, but Isuzu could swear there was something amiss, yet she couldn't say what. Loki, for a moment, landed his gaze on her, though he didn't move.
"But I'm sooo sleepy..." He whined, turning his attention back to his friend, still leaning over him. His voice lacked the usual energy, but it was perfectly clear. "And you just disappeared..."
"Me? I was just talking with Isuzu-chan..." This earned Isuzu another quick glance, though this time the girl wasn't sure of what there was behind it, as it had been too fast. Loki just groaned and kept leaning against Balder's back, as if he planned to sleep right there.
"Well, I guess I'm going" After she had briefly thought about it, the prospect of a warm bath and a nap (or at least lying down) was quite alluring. Balder turned her.
"Isuzu..." He started, being interrupted by Loki who waved. More like he was dismissing her presence than saying goodbye, but she ignored it just like she ignored the little "shoo, shoo, bye, bye" he threw at her in a tone full of despise.
"Isuzu, wait. I..."
Loki immediately patted his shoulder in a friendly gesture before the other could do anything else.
"C'mon, Balder. It's not like you can't talk to her later, right?"
For a moment, Balder turned to Loki, but the softness was back to his expression.
"I guess..."
Isuzu took the opportunity. But as she headed to the Girl's Dormitory, she couldn't help but to feel an uneasiness that hadn't much to do with what she had been feeling before. It was something... Something else.
And she had no idea of what it meant.
Only that when she walked away, she could feel Loki's eyes piercing her back.
Ana: I hate this chapter's title more than I can ever say. I also apologize for the long time in hiatus, I had some stuff to take care of. Well, here we are. Hope you guys like it.
Jemstone6259: I'm so happy you liked! I hope you also liked this chapter, though Loki was being quite difficult. I'm also glad you liked the moment with Hades, it wasn't very easy.