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Chapter Quote:
"Just because you can, doesn't mean you should."
~Acheron Parthenopaeus

Chapter 18

I woke up right when darkness fell. My first instinct was to check on Kiara, so I rolled over to look at her. Instead of finding her asleep, I found her packing a duffel bag.

"What are you doing?" I asked in slight exasperation.

Without turning to face me, she said, "I'm going to see Zarek. I need to speak with him."

"Kiara, your cheek has barely healed at all. You need to be resting. Besides, Acheron is going to go speak to him. Not to mention that the guy is a… a… well…" I made a crazy motion with my hand.

"I'm fine. Acheron won't get to him for another day or two because he has his hands full with assignments and I want to talk to Zarek before Acheron does in case the latter decides to kill the former. Besides, with the way Zarek feels about me, it makes me question why he looked like he didn't mean to hurt me."

"What do you mean?"

"Zarek and I met about a hundred years ago. Let's just say that we had a… falling out. I haven't seen him since then and last time we talked, he wanted to kill me."

"Why are you going to see a guy who wants to kill you? By yourself?"

"Because I told you, I saw it in his eyes that he tried to stop himself from hurting me when I jumped in the way. I want to know why. Plus, if Zarek does try to kill me, I'm one of the very few who can and will actually beat him. I've done it before."

"And when was that?"

"Last time we met." Kiara zipped up her duffel bag and threw it over her shoulder. She started heading to the bedroom door. I followed. "I've already booked a jet straight to Fairbanks. It leaves the moment I board it. I'll call you when I get there."

"Kiara, wait," I ordered, grabbing her by the arm. "I can't let you just waltz on up to Fairbanks to go see a guy who possibly wants to murder you."

"Kyrian, I can handle myself. I'll be fine." Kiara kissed me on the cheek.

"What was that for?"

"For cheering me up last night. Also, tell Acheron you're right. He doesn't need to worry about us."

With that, Kiara shut the door, leaving me speechless and stunned.

Kiara

I slept the entire flight to Fairbanks. Despite what I'd told Kyrian, I wasn't actually 'fine'. My face hurt like hell and I was beyond tired. Thankfully the flight over to Fairbanks was long which allowed me to get the rest I needed to prepare for my trek to Zarek's cabin.

When I landed in Fairbanks, I had a truck waiting for me to drive to the small town closest to Zarek's town. I drove it myself, wanting to draw the least amount of attention to myself. Small towns meant big talk and despite Zarek's isolation, he'd have a way of finding out about my arrival before I even got to him.

Sure enough, when I arrived, the locals eyed me suspiciously and whispers immediately started flying. I kept my head down, making my way towards an ATV rental place. The man was nice enough but I got out of there quickly, wanting to get to Zarek as quickly as possible, particularly before Ash. I honestly worried about Zarek's safety when Ash got ahold of him. For some reason, Acheron had always been protective of me, always trying to go after the people that did me harm, or at least the ones I hadn't been able to kill myself.

The ride to Zarek's cabin was long, mainly because I kept getting myself lost despite having been there before. Of course that was a hundred years ago and even with my enhanced memory abilities, it was still difficult, especially because last time I visited was in the middle of the summer. It was now the fall and the landscape already had snow it. However, I ended up managing to find it. The night was just beginning to end which meant either Zarek was already home or he soon would be.

I knocked on his door, but no one answered. With an aggravated sigh, I knocked again. "Zarek? Are you in there? It's Kiara. I just came to talk. I know I'm the last person you want to see except for maybe Kyrian or Ash or Valerius, but please just let me talk to you?"

No answer.

Hanging my head in defeat, I sat down on the porch. I'd pick the lock to see if Zarek was actually in but I knew better than to break into a Dark Hunter's home. They tended to attack first and ask questions later. I'd been attacked enough the past few days.

Considering I was in the middle of nowhere, with the exception of a wild animal, I thought I was pretty safe if I closed my eyes for a bit to pass the time waiting for Zarek to come back. Also I was quickly becoming tired and if I was to have a conversation with Zarek, I needed to be up and alert.

The room was almost completely black except for the small, flickering orange light in the corner, but not near enough light for me to see anything. However, I could still hear, and there was the distinct sound of someone groaning.

"Are you okay?" I heard myself ask.

The person grunted. "I could do this all day."

"I cannot lose anyone else. I will find a way out of here. Where's-"

"Vasílissá mou, I love you, and I admire your hope, but unless my father finds out where exactly we are and sends an army after us, we will not be getting out of here. As for-" the name was garbled "-he's still being tortured. The Romans have taken a particular liking to him. Probably because he's an ex-Roman… he screamed for the first time today. He hadn't screamed up until today… I know I was never friends with him, at most we were friendly acquaintances, but he does not deserve the torture he is getting."

"He's our friend. His pain hurts us. That's why they're torturing him mercilessly. I believe they're doing it more for that reason than the reason he's a traitor to the Roman's. At least in their eyes he is."

There was a few minutes of silence before the guy said, "Footsteps. Someone's coming."

Sure enough, a door was thrown open. The door to my cell opened and I heard someone being chained to the wall. I said the person's name but the name was garbled and I couldn't understand what I was saying.

"It's all your fault!" The guy growled at me. The man lunged at me. I barely backed away in time before his hands closed around my throat. "It's all your fault! This is all your fault! Kiara, let me kill you! Let me kill you!"

"Get away from her!" The guy I'd been talking to earlier ordered.

The man I shared a cell with was still trying to break free from his chains. I was whispering at him to calm down but he was inconsolable. All he did was scream my name. "Kiara! Kiara!"

I woke up with a jolt. I blinked the sleep out of my eyes which helped them focus back on my surroundings. I looked forward out of instinct. Blue eyes met mine.

"Kiara!" Zarek yelled, eerily matching the voice of the shouting man in my dream. His eyes landed on my cheek. Ever so slightly, his face twitched. In a calmer voice he asked, "What the hell are you doing here?"

"I came to see if you were okay," I replied.

"Why would you come see if I was okay? I'm fine. I always have been and always will be."

"Because I was worried about you."

Zarek rolled his eyes. "Then how about a call? Flying all the way out here is overkill, Castellanos."

"You wouldn't have picked up if I called. I know. I've tried before so don't deny it. And you wouldn't reply to text either."

Zarek stood up. "Gee, I wonder why that is. Oh, right, because last time, I thought we had something nice between us, something more than just friendship, and then you told me you had a husband!"

"I told you I had one but you never gave me the chance to explain!" I argued, standing up to face him. Zarek, much like Kyrian, towered over me, but that didn't faze me. I knew I could take him if need be.

"What was there to tell?! You're married, end of story! Now go before I kill you." Zarek shoved me aside, opening his front door. I slipped in before he could stop me. He growled. "Get out before I kill you!"

"You wouldn't kill me. If you'd wanted to, you wouldn't have tried to stop yourself from giving me this." I pointed at my cheek. "Now you're going to listen to what I have to say. Sit."

Zarek seemed too shocked to do anything but listen. He sat down angrily on his bed. I sat on his dining room table and began my story. "Whatever my past was, it was so terrible and so mortifying that when I made the immortality deal with Ares, I asked him to erase my memory. He couldn't erase it, just block it, so he put a wall up in my mind. It allowed me basic memories: my childhood, the fact I had a husband and an unknown amount of kids, a guy I used to be in love with, my parents, my brother and his wife. But other than that, nothing. As long as I didn't scratch at that wall or as long as I didn't come into contact with people I'd known in my previous lifetime, the wall would remain."

"And let me guess, it's started to crumble?" Zarek said sarcastically.

"Yes," I replied. "And it started with you."

The Dark Hunter cocked his head. "Me?"

"We knew each other in our past life. I'm sure of that. I just don't know how, or what our relationship was. I think it was a close relationship between us though. I didn't feel an urge to kill you the first time I saw you unlike the first time I saw Valerius."

A ghost of a smile appeared on Zarek's lips as I got up to pace the room. "So this visit had more to do than just making sure I was okay?"

"No, that was the main point. But I had a question."

"What?"

"Why did you attack Kyrian and why did you try and stop yourself when I jumped in front of you?"

"That's two questions."

"Answer them."

"I'd never actually met Kyrian before and since most Daimons are blonde, I thought he was one. I hadn't really paid attention to the fight seeing as how I came in at the last minute."

"And trying to stop yourself when I jumped in front of him?"

"Ash would kill me."

"I know you Zarek. Sometimes I think you want to be killed so don't give me that excuse. Tell me the truth." He stayed silent. "Last time I talked to you, you told me if you ever saw me again, you'd kill me. You saw me the other day and stopped yourself from killing me. What changed?"

There was a tic in his jaw. "Because I know I know you from a past life."

I stopped pacing and looked at him. "Excuse me?"

"I know I know you from a past life," he repeated.

"And you… you never thought to tell me about this?" I demanded.

Zarek stood up, walking towards me. "What was I supposed to tell you? Huh?"

"That you remembered me instead of leaving me to think that you've hated me for a hundred years and that I was losing my mind that I remembered you and you didn't!"

"I don't know what I'm remembering! I just know it's about you! It's just feelings I remember Kiara!"

It was obvious my friend was just as confused as I was about the whole situation. Reigning in my temper, I questioned, "What kind of feelings?"

"This," he answered. Zarek put his hands on my waist, pushing me until my back hit the wall. His lips crashed onto mine. He was a damn good kisser and if my cheek hadn't been hurting so much I would've enjoyed it much more.

"Zarek?" I breathed when he pulled away. His eyes remained shut but his face was scrunched up, as if he was thinking about something. I repeated his name. That time it worked. His blue eyes met mine once more, but their attitude had completely changed. Earlier there'd been a raw hunger. It was replaced by desire, but it was softer, more loving. His hand came to cup my good cheek.

"Your husband, whoever he was, whoever he is, he is the luckiest man alive," Zarek whispered.

"What are you talking about?"

"I remember our relationship."

I hesitated before saying, "Lovers?"

"No, although I remember wanting to be. But I knew it'd never happen. I knew you'd never cheat on your husband nor could I do that to your husband. I respected him too much."

"You remember my husband?"

"Unfortunately for you, I cannot remember who he is. But I remember you loved him with every part of your being. I remember you screaming his name when you saw him killed. I remember you rescuing me from Rome when I was a little boy. I remember training as a Greek soldier and fighting battles alongside your husband. I remember being your faithful guard. And I remember being your close friend." Zarek backed away from me. "I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"First and foremost, for slashing up your face. Second, that I am not your husband."

"It's been over two thousand years, Zarek. I think it's going to take more than a kiss to remember my husband," I said, giving him a sad smile. When a hint of mischief flashed through his mind, I added hastily, "And not by what you're thinking."

"Buzz kill."

"Since we're on good terms right now, this… this isn't the first time I've been back to Alaska since our fight."

"When did you come last?"

"I've been coming up when I get word that you're dealing with troublesome Daimons or if there are too many Daimons for a single Dark Hunter to handle. I'd come up and help."

Zarek stared at me, his mind working a mile a minute. "You were the black hooded person, weren't you? You'd randomly appear in some of my fights and then leave before I could stop you."

"I always kept an eye out for you. I know you didn't want anything to do with me but I couldn't just… let you go. I worried about you. No one deserves to be in exile like you are."

He snorted. "You obviously don't know what I've done."

"I do, but I don't believe it."

"Who else could've done it?"

"I don't know, but I know you. I know you wouldn't do what people are accusing you of doing. I know you pay extra for things when you don't need to. I know you take care of a woman and her child in town. For such a dangerous guy, you're pretty damn sweet."

"You know, serial killers are typically really charming."

"Way to ruin the moment."

"Well, now that this little conversation is over, it's time for me to go to sleep. You can take my bed. I'll sleep on the floor."

"I have to make a call or two first. You go ahead and take the bed. I brought a sleeping bag. I'll sleep on the floor."

"I'm not letting a woman sleep on the floor."

"And this is your house. Your house, your bed."

"I hardly call this a house. This is nothing compared to the mansions you and the Dark Hunters live in."

"I know you have the money to buy one, so why don't you?"

"Artemis wants me away from civilization as much as possible. Says I can't be trusted."

"Well she's a bitch anyways."

"She might strike you down for saying that."

"Then Ares would have her head. Artemis is smart but in battle, she's not really a match for Ares. I'm fine. Look, I've been thinking of buying a house in New Orleans. If you want, you'd be welcome to live there as well."

"Living in a house with a girl I'm in love with while she's in love with and married to someone else is not exactly the living situation I'm looking for."

"Right… I didn't think about that… um, I'm going to go make some calls. I'll see you later. And take the bed. Mansion or cabin, it's still your house. Get some rest, okay?"

I started to leave but Zarek stopped me, saying, "Kiara, thank you… for the offer. I know you're just looking out for me. Like you always have."

I smiled at him before heading outside. I pulled out my phone and dialed Kyrian's number. He didn't pick up so I left a voicemail: "Hey Kyrian, just thought I'd let you know that I'm in Alaska at Zarek's. Everything's fine between us now. Turns out we did know each other in past life but I'll tell you about that when I get back. Hope you're doing okay and I'll talk to you later. Bye."

The next call I made was to Ash. He picked up on the first ring.

"The reason Kyrian didn't pick up his phone is because I killed him for letting you go to Alaska by yourself. What the hell were you thinking Kiara?!" Ash demanded. I rolled my eyes. "Don't roll your eyes at me."

"Too late. And Kyrian is not dead, he's sleeping, Drama King. It's already daylight in New Orleans. I came to check on Zarek. I'm fine. We needed to work out some things anyway. And how did you know I called Kyrian?"

Ash groaned. "What are you doing to my Dark Hunters? And in response to your question, I was just at Kyrian's house and heard his phone ringing."

"Nothing!" I protested. "Zarek and I know each other-"

"Yes, obviously, as you're there right now."

"No, I mean from our past life."

Silence.

"How?" Ash asked quietly.

"He was a close friend of mine, not to mention my bodyguard."

"How on earth did a Roman become a bodyguard for a Grecian princess?"

"Queen. I was a queen. And I don't know."

"How can you not know?"

"I don't!" I exclaimed in exasperation. "The wall in my head is coming down in random ass pieces that I can't put together and it's driving me mental!"

"Okay, calm down. It was just a question.

"I know," I groaned, sitting on the front step. "I have snippets of memory returning. I remember parts of being captured by my brother. I'm pretty sure I was tortured before I was killed along with what I believe to be my husband. There was another guy but I don't know who it was. I didn't mention it to Zarek but the voice in my dream sounded like his. I don't want to freak anyone out because I don't know what the hell is going on with me. All I know is the wall's coming down and I can't stop it."

"Are you regretting it?"

"I always thought I was pretty mentally strong. I'm starting to rethink that."

"I'm coming to talk to Zarek. I promise I won't kill him on your behalf but you and I will talk and I'll see if I can help you with your memories."

"Thank you Ash. I owe you."

"No you don't. I'm helping you because you're my friend. Go get some rest. I'll see you tomorrow."

I hung up with Ash, sitting on the front porch for a bit so I could see the sun rise. New Orleans was fun and always lively. There was always something to do. But I loved the serenity of Alaska. It was quiet, peaceful, and a place I could see myself retiring to one day, if I was ever able to.

My phone rang, breaking me out of my trance. I picked it up.

"Hey," Kyrian's husky voice greeted. I could tell he'd just woken up. "I got your message. You sure everything's okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," I told him. "What about you? What are you doing up?"

"Nightmare. I don't know what it was about though. It was too dark in the dream to see anything. How's Zarek?"

"He's fine. I think he's sleeping. And if he's not sleeping, he's trying to. I'm going to bed soon. I'm getting tired again. Ash is coming tomorrow to talk to Zarek and then me."

"He going to give you a lecture for leaving like he gave me a lecture for letting you go?"

I laughed. "No, I got the lecture over the phone when I called him. Some stuff has happened that he's going to try and help me work through."

"Please tell me Zarek's not your husband."

"Jealous are we?" I countered in amusement. "No, he's not. But we were close in our past lifetime. He was my close friend, and my bodyguard."

"How did a Roman end up being a Grecian queen's friend and bodyguard?"

"Ash asked the same question. And I'll give you the same answer I gave him: I don't know."

"You'll figure it out."

"The wall's coming down, Kyrian. I can't control it anymore. The more I try, the worse it gets."

"What gets worse?"

"Memories come back but except for my face and my brother's face and my parents' faces, other faces are distorted, names are garbed, my surroundings are dark or blurry. I can't make sense of any of it and it's driving me insane."

"Zarek triggered some of it. Maybe you need someone else to trigger more memories to get some of the distortions cleared up."

"Where do I find a person like that though? Zarek's the only person besides Valerius that I've come across that I know I know but it's not like I can waltz up to Valerius's house and talk to him after I attacked him."

"You know where he lives?"

"I figured it out but I'm not telling you."

"That's… smart. When you get back, I'll help you."

"Thank you Kyrian," I said with a smile.

"Hurry back. Not only do I miss you but Nick is driving me up the wall."

At that I laughed. "I miss you too. And don't kill him. You need him. I'll be back in a couple of days. I'll let you know when my flight is."

"If it arrives at night, I'll come pick you up. Be safe out there."

"I will. Get some more sleep. Good morning, Kyrian."

"Good morning to you too." We hung up and I went inside. Zarek had put some blankets on the floor for me but had taken the bed. Feeling slightly triumphant that I'd gotten him to listen, I unrolled my sleeping bag and got in, covering the blankets over me as well. I'd just closed my eyes when Zarek queried, "Kyrian misses you?"

"Were you eavesdropping?" I answered, looking over at him. He stared down at me from the bed.

"Yes."

"Well at least you're honest about it."

"Only because you'd know I was lying. Who'd Kyrian want to kill?"

"Nick. Apparently he's driving him up the wall."

"The kid has a mouth on him. No wonder."

"But he loves him. Nick has been good for Kyrian, I think."

"What's going on between you and Kyrian?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Saying he misses you, saying he'd come pick you up if your flight arrived back in New Orleans at night, and let's not forget the 'Please tell me Zarek's not your husband' comment."

"See, this is why you shouldn't eavesdrop."

"Answer the question, Kiara." I didn't. "If you don't feel something for him, he certainly feels something for you. But I think you do feel something, you just don't want to admit it. You did always have a thing for blondes."

"Oh?"

"I'm just saying, most Dark Hunters don't show that type of affection towards anyone. The fact that he is speaks volumes."

"Ash thinks Kyrian and I are too close. Maybe we are, but we can separate business from personal if anything ever happened between us. Besides, it's nice to have shared life experience. He was a Greek prince, I was a Greek queen."

"You think you know him?"

"I don't know. With you, I knew immediately I knew you before. With him, it's like I know him but I don't. I can't explain it. If I do know him, the wall in my head is really blocking memories about him."

"You'll figure it out. And you'll get this wall down completely. Once you set your mind to something, you always succeed. That's who you are."

"For such a dangerous guy, you're really nice when you like someone."

"Shut up."

"Good morning, Zarek."

"Good morning, mea regina."

"I'm not your queen anymore."

"You'll always be mea regina to me."

"I'm your friend, not your boss."

"I'd rather you be my boss again. You're a much prettier than Ash."

"Get some sleep," I chuckled. Zarek listened to me and was asleep in an instant. I tried falling asleep but didn't have as much luck. My dreams were plagued by memories that I couldn't remember and couldn't solve. I'd never believed Ares when he said the wall caused some people to go insane because their memories never came back fully. I thought I was stronger than that.

I now knew just how wrong I actually was.

Long chapter so I hope you enjoyed! Review please :)