Zen in the art of taking a shower
Penthouse - late afternoon, Friday, December 8, 2023
Logan wheeled himself naked inside the bathroom, intending to take a shower. He drove as far as possible but as near as needed beneath the plastic chair inside the shower with his new wheelchair, which was slightly more bulky and harder to steer. Then Logan set his brakes and transferred. He hoped that his new chair would not get too wet, after all. Before his balancing problems grew, he just shoved the wheelchair a bit away, but that was not longer possible, because he needed his hands to stabilize himself. The act of showering itself had become more complicated over time. He had to firmly lean on the shower wall and steady himself with one hand for not tumbling. With the other hand he reached for the shower head, but today it was too far away at his first attempt. He cursed to himself and then reached out a second time. When he nearly got it, his back swiveled, he lost balance and slipped with a hollow smack to the floor. Desperate and with a reddened head he pushed himself to sit up on the floor. When he cursed again, the bathroomdoor flew open and Max came in.
"Logan! What happened?" she asked terrified. - Logan groaned and mumbled self-consciously: "Lost balance.", then he quickly glanced away, not daring another try to move towards the plastic chair. He didn't want her to see this. Him, unuseless, not even able to take a simple shower on its own anymore. Couldn't she just leave the bathroom? He glared at her now, as if he could get her out of the bathroom with the help of telekinesis. But his beloved and pregnant Max stayed. (They had finally figured out how to turn off the immunity DNA sequence which prevented that Max could carry a baby. Both were keen and full of hope as they found out about the pregnance, against all odds.) Logan knew that she was as stubborn as himself. And he knew that there was no way that she would leave him there on the floor. He sighed, deeply ashamed of his incapabilities. After they stared at each other for a short while, Max took the initiative. "Do you want me to do anything? Or do you want to sit there for the rest of the day?"
Logan considered the options. Sitting on the shower floor for the rest of the day didn't sound that bad, considering... But he knew that at this point that he had to show her his weaknesses and his incapabilities, and he knew that with the progress of his spine damage his proudness and grace would eventually be in peril. So he said defeated: "Guess this is the moment I really become dependent upon you." His face reddened even deeper, as he stretched one arm up to her. "Could you give me a hand with the shower?"
Max silently lifted him up to the plastic chair, put the wheelchair further away to gain space and began to undress herself. Logan used both hands to steady himself on the chair now. Despite his uncomfortable feelings about the whole situation, he enjoyed the view of Max getting naked with her little pregnant belly. The sight was a little blurred without glasses in the dim light, but that didn't matter right now.
Neither of them spoke. As Max was completely undressed, she shut the shower door and began to rinse gently Logan's hair and body. All the while she gazed at him in a lustful way. She soaked him and washed his complete body quite sensual and in a way that clearly showed him her affection. Logan sat stunned, his grip on the chair tightened. It felt really good, but he had no idea what to think about or how to deal with that. He was just overwhelmed. When Max was finished with him, she showered herself quickly. Logan still sitting right before her. Finally Logan gulped with a boyish shy smile: "Ahm,.. change 'dependent' on you to 'addicted', that's the better word." Max now beamed at him. "Will do."
The way Max dealt with Logan's progressive disability helped Logan a lot. He felt rather like a subject of sexual lust than a burden or a heap of flesh someone has to shovel around. She showed him affection and admiration in the most simple daily tasks, and he was grateful for that. Like this he felt still precious and full of grace. Albeit still feeling self-conscious, now he was looking forward to each shower they could take together.
In spite of the comfort Max provided for him, one thing really bugged Logan. Using the toilet became more and more an issue, since his lower organs gradually didn't function easily on its own any more after he was shot and he needed more often both hands to steady himself on the seat. There was no way to keep the grace when someone has to help with this. This felt like another humiliation for Logan, and he knew things would only getting worse from now on.
The time came when he needed to put on his belts to be able to sit in his wheelchair properly, namely the belt below his armpits. His armrange diminished drastically with that. He could no longer lean forward deliberately, his back was glued to the backrest of the wheelchair.
At first, he put on the upper belt only when he was tired or needed more steadiness while he was working at something with both hands. But more often he had the feeling of slipping down. He was not sure, if he was actually slipping down, but it felt like it. It was an awkward feeling which he could avoid quite simply with putting on his upper belt. At the beginning, he opened the belt every time he needed to grab something which was out of his armrange or if he needed to lean forward shortly, steadied himself with his other hand and switched it on afterwards. But as his balancing problems got worse, he had the choice between stabilizing himself with both hands (and not be able to grab something for his hands were already occupied) or stabilizing with the belt below his armpits and not be able to grab things out of range, but having free hands to use.
Slowly, Logan got used to the diminished range, but very often he got into situations that frustrated him. Then, every time the phrase of Bling "Patience in all things!" crossed his mind and he smiled to himself, saying aloud "Right!" It became a ritual, which was astonishing forceful to help him. And it sort of helped, that he still was able to transfer in and out of the chair by himself.