Title: Sapphire Blue

Summary: Harm can't find a date for Christmas break and takes Mac to the Bahamas instead. This is a re-do of 'Jaggle Bells' without Jordan or Chloe.

Sapphire Blue is a description I've read for the waters of the Bahamas. I normally do not like flipping POV back and forth in one chapter, but here we go… bless me.

So, I hated most of Jaggle Bells.

1) Mac is CLEARLY hinting she wants to spend Christmas with Harm and dufus is on his little black book looking for some babe to spend his vacation with.

I love Harm, he's a wonderful character and even if you weren't ready to hook him up with Mac, it was in poor character to have him looking for a babe during the holidays like that. It made him out to be a gigolo.

2) I know people love Mac and Chloe's relationship and I do too but, I hated how bratty she was in this ep. And maybe telling your "little sister" about the guy you have a crush on was a bit adolescent on her part.

3) Jordan… She spends the episode psychoanalyzing him and Harm is all googly eyes. If you really pay attention, she does this to everyone, even Mac on later episodes.

So, for all intents and purposes - nor Jordan nor Chloe make an appearance here. ;) And as for Harm's vacation… we'll see how it goes.

Chapter 1

Mac's POV

Christmas is supposed to be the happiest time of year. For me, that happiness is questionable as less than a handful of my childhood holidays were memorable; at least not in a good sense. We weren't poor but Santa had a habit of either skipping our house or giving me nothing of what I asked for. When I learned the truth, I stopped asking altogether and found contentment in whatever I was gifted.

The holidays improved significantly in my adult life but I've never spent a single Christmas with a man I loved. I always seem to either break up with my significant other or simply not have one for the Holidays. Chris' attempt to make our first Christmas sweet was derailed when the police took him in for questioning and didn't release him until the new year - the first of three arrests that would eventually lead to an extended sentence in a Federal prison.

Despite my past I dare say that this year is working up to being the worst. As melancholy as it sounds, I don't feel Christmassy. I didn't want to put up my tree or decorate or even buy gifts although I purchased the obligatory 'Secret Santa' present and got something for Harm.

I always get something for him because he always gets something for me and this year is no different. While he opened his present with a flourish, my still sits in my desk drawer beautifully wrapped with a card scribbled in his writing. 'Merry Christmas, Love, Harm.'

I know it's perfume and likely an expensive one at that. And though most men I've dated strike out in finding a fragrance that suits me, Harm has been spot on. He'll compliment me each time I wear it and linger a little closer than military appropriate when no one is near.

It's an intimate gift and response from a lover but, we're not lovers and after my trial, I've noticed he's pulled away. Giving myself up for collateral to the Bedouins didn't help the skid and though I can't be sure, I believe he thinks something happened between me and Keeter.

Of course Jack's banter didn't help nor did the innuendos that I ran with just because it irritated Harm. He never questioned me and I never told him that my two weeks in the desert made me bond with his best friend who now knew I'd fallen in love with my partner. Jack insisted Harm had feelings for me too. That he 'could tell' his best bud was crushing real hard. Maybe he was right.

There were times I've caught Harm looking at me with a lover's expression but why then was he actively searching for a woman to spend the Holiday's with. I'm here. I'm right here and it's like there's this invisible wall that keeps us from exploring this thing.

From my desk I can see through the window which separates mine and Harm's offices. His feet are propped up on the desk and, though his back is to me, I see the cord of his phone extended and know he's likely making another call.

It's been that way for the past hour as he searched through, what I assume, is a little black book. He's obviously searching for a woman to spend the Holidays with and has struck out on every call.

One girl yelled at him using the kind of colorful language saved for a man who broke your heart. Another was a Maria Elena yadda yadda, a flight attendant ready to fly to the opposite side of the globe.

The third was once a woman named Charlotte who is now a man named Charles. That one seemed rather interested in a tropical vacation with Harm who blushed profusely as he politely declined. He couldn't get off that call fast enough and I may have laughed at his discomfort.

Four and five calls came and went each without incident. I had stepped into his office during his sixth call searching for a file and attempting to make my intentions known. That's how I realized my feelings were completely one-sided and that Jack's assumptions were all wrong.

It's just as well, after Chris' death and Farrow's career tanking due to his involvement, maybe it was best that Harm stay far away.

I just hate that he's so oblivious it hurts. And I despise how embarrassing it feels to pine after a man that doesn't feel the same. Eventually some girl will take what he's offering and I'll spend another Christmas alone.

Harm's POV

"So how serious is it with the 'boyfriend'?" I ask with quotation fingers and my eyebrows hit my hairline as I hear that she's been married for three years. "Oh, well congratulations and Merry Christmas."

I tap the phone against my chin, consider moving to another number and then stop myself. This isn't me. I'm not the kind of guy that pulls out a little black book and runs desperately through the digits just because I don't want to be alone during the Holidays.

Spending time with my family is the most sensible plan and my mother may have been thrilled if she and Frank weren't on a cruise in Italy. It's just as well, I don't know what to say to her when Christmas Eve rolls around and mom stares at the door as if my father may walk through at any moment.

Her screams, the crying and prayers echo in the memories I can't forget. Even when she married Frank, there's always a melancholic look in her eye when the Holidays come along. They've since begun vacationing in exotic places and I envy the partnership they've built, how attentive Frank has been while I acted like an asshole.

I sigh heavily and attempt a seventh and eighth call but one number is disconnected and the other is the line to a Noodle House in Arlington. Maybe that's my cue to give up? Reluctantly I do so and begin to sign off on a few charts and tidy my desk.

Even if I can't find a woman, the prospect of Christmas in the Bahamas is still appealing. I have the keys to Frank's beachfront bungalow and with one call can have it stocked and ready upon arrival.

It takes three calls to set up my trip. I'm halfway out of my office when something makes me stop. Through the open blinds I see Mac standing by her window staring out at nothing. Her shoulders are slumped and her arms are folded across her chest. I'm sure she's thinking about the New Year, her article 32 and the mess that her life could have become. And it was a mess, all of it. A mess I could hardly imagine or prepare for.

She was married.

Mac was married to a man I could never see by her side - a career criminal heinous enough to threaten her life and that of her family. Through glimpses into her past I knew that life wasn't always perfect but I couldn't understand how a woman like her could forget to divorce her ex.

It was careless, reckless but then so was the affair with John Farrow.

It's embarrassing how jealous I am of that man and had been since we defended him a few years prior. I knew they'd had a special relationship in the way John looked at Mac as if she were the Goddess Aphrodite personified. Though she denied a personal involvement out side of working closely together, I knew she lied to me.

I accepted it as part of her past that I was ill equipped to judge. Who was I to search through the skeletons in her closet when I had a handful of my own? Honestly? I never expected to hear the words come from her mouth, a confirmation that sent my heart deep into the pit of my stomach. She'd had an affair with Farrow and since her marriage was never dissolved, Mac was an adulteress.

Frankly, it sounded like a bad made for tv movie and despite my reservations, I stepped up and defended my friend. I had to and wouldn't stop until Mac was safe. I did win but the future of her career still hung in limbo. I'll defend her again and prepare for an uphill battle although I want to walk away and make believe this never happened.

And then came that stupid black jet, the one Keeter landed in the middle of nowhere.

I'm still angry as hell that Mac would give herself up so freely to the Bedouins. As the days stretched on and the carrier moved farther away, I felt my anxiety get worse.

There was no mention of a safe passage, no way to contact Mac or Keeter. While I was not the skirt chaser I'd once been, Jack had a girl or two in every port and the way he looked at Mac was like a starved man that found a lush oasis.

I fucking hated that Mic was right: every man was a little in love with Mac and Jack Keeter fell into that category hook, line and sinker. I can't blame him; she's easy on the eyes, sexy as hell and fiesty. I never thought I'd enjoy a fiesty woman in my life but, here she is and I can't imagine my life without her.

Things have changed though. Her trial, the dessert and Keeter's innuendos that 'something happened' have made me distance myself. I had to. I needed to because I can't bear the thought of her dating my best friend or me living through that kind of heartache.

I decide not to worry about Mac until the New Year and try to get on with my vacation but, the hand on her doorknob has other ideas. Somehow I find myself standing in the center of her office without being invited in.

The signs of irritation cross her beautiful face and Mac stares at me like I've lost my mind. "Let me guess, you came to say goodbye?"

"Yes. Well, no." I stammer. My heart beats wildly. My throat feels like I've swallowed a bag of sawdust and I know I've lost my mind when the words flow freely from my mouth. "Want to spend Christmas with me?"