~ Washington - August 17, 2004 ~
We had just finished getting gas in Poulsbo while on our way to the Seattle–Tacoma International Airport, where in two hours I would be picking up Bella, my singer. Rose and Emmett where tagging along as an insurance policy against me attacking and draining the blood from her before I could drop her off at Charlie's house. I looked in the rear view mirror to find Emmett's face scrunched up while he sang some god awful Meatloaf song on the radio. Luckily he was in the vehicle behind me with Rose, who was also singing. I would have gone insane if I had to sit in the same vehicle as them, while they both butchered a song about finding paradise inside a car at night. As it was, I was going crazy over the thought of being in an enclosed car for three and a half hours with a human whose smell was the most intoxicating thing I could've ever imagined. The last time I had been near her was over four years ago. At that time, I prided myself in being able to handle her scent and my subsequent bloodlust, but I never really got close to her. Now I was about to spend twelve thousand six hundred-seconds with her, at an arm's length away, inside what could very well be a moving coffin.
God, please help me find the strength to resist her!
To say I was flabbergasted when Charlie asked me to pick her up would be a huge understatement. Yesterday at this time, Charlie thought I was a normal, human teenager. He now knew the truth about my family's existence, and more importantly the truth about my rebellious past, yet he still asked me to pickup his only daughter.
Why didn't I tell him about Bella being my singer?
I let out a brittle snort.
Because if he knew, I wouldn't be allowed in the same state as her!
My chest tightened at the thought of not seeing Bella on her trip…or ever. I was experiencing the same compulsion I had felt back in Phoenix. The same compulsion, that years ago, kept me coming back to check on her, at least until it became clear that my presence around her could attract others of my kind. However, I rationalized that this was different. She would be coming to me, or at least coming to Charlie, and I was lucky enough to be here.
I thought back to when Charlie asked me to pick up Bella. His thoughts and his words were so trusting and sure.
Charlie paused and swallowed. "Can you go and pick her up for me?"
"What? I mean after everything you know about me, you still want me to be around your daughter?" I asked incredulously.
Charlie sighed and then winced form the pain in his chest. "After you left last night I asked myself a lot of questions. I won't bore you with what they were, but in the end, it came down to this…does knowing what you are change things, yes. But does it make me distrust you, no." Charlie paused a moment then continued. "Edward, you not only risked exposure saving Mark and I, you compromised it. And, you did so without any regard to the personal consequences. Listen, I know you're not a saint, but you have integrity and honesty. You may hide part of yourself. Hell, we all do! But you wear the kind of man you are on your sleeve. Let me ask you this, would you do everything in your power to keep my daughter safe? To keep her from harm? Would you give her the same preference you gave to Mark and I?"
I looked the Charlie dead in the eye and answered, "I would."
"Then it doesn't matter to me what happened last night," he replied. "I am choosing to look beyond your history and biology, Edward, to see the man you are now. I trust that man. Don't make me regret it."
When I promised Charlie this morning to do everything possible to keep his daughter from harm, I meant it. However, here I was openly placing her in harm's ways simply by being near me.
My phone buzzed with a text message from Carlisle.
"Don't ignore the blood lust, confront it, deal with it, and compartmentalize it. Have faith in yourself! Good luck!"
I smiled as I re-read the message. The timeliness of Carlisle's message had Alice written all over it.
As a doctor, Carlisle could not shy away from human blood. His skills as a surgeon were amazing, despite being sometimes elbow deep in it. He told me he learned to compartmentalize the allure of human blood from his time spent with the Volturi. He needed a way to confront the assault on his senses when the Volturi would have one of their many blood orgies. He came up with a simple mental metaphor to help him cope with human blood. I experienced his control firsthand when I once sat outside a hospital and listened to his thoughts as he operated on a young boy.
First, he would recognize the patient as not just a human, but as a person. Before operating on the boy, he spent time getting to know him. He wanted to make sure he would never forget that the patient had a favorite superhero, that he liked baseball, and that he wanted to be an astronaut when he grew up. When it came time to operate, he made sure to keep what he knew about the boy in mind.
Next, he never tried to ignore the call of the boy's blood. He embraced it. He would visualize his bloodlust as a beast. A beast that he kept locked away in an impenetrable cage. He allowed the beast to savor the aroma of the boy's blood. During the operation, Carlisle knew as long as he did not let the beast from his cage, the bloodlust would never win out. Since he created this mental defense, he never let that beast taste a drop of human blood. Even during the four times he changed one of us, Carlisle never visualized the beast drinking the blood. It was this separation that allowed him to not kill us.
Could I use a similar method to get through the car ride home? Could I allow part of me to drink her in scent and savor it? Could I trust myself to lock down that part?
The end of Carlisle's text message came to mind. "Have faith in yourself." It was obvious that Alice has been watching over me. No alarms had been sounded. I had received no panicked calls to turn around and go home. I had to trust in Alice, which would mean I would have to trust myself. Trust that I could lockup the beast and not let him out under any circumstance. Essentially, find the strength to trust myself the way Charlie, Carlisle, and an unsuspecting Bella already did.
After we parked the cars, with Emmett and Rose being a row over from me, we entered the crowded airport. Charlie had let Bella know that I was to pick her up. He even took a picture of me with the station's new digital camera and emailed it to her this morning. Of course that was after I had assured him several times I would indeed show up in the photograph. Sometimes Hollywood and their vampire myths were just plain ridiculous.
We stationed ourselves outside the arrivals security gate. We had fifteen minutes before her plane landed. I positioned myself so that I was downwind of the airport's ventilation system. From my location I would be able to pick up Bella's scent early. The last thing I wanted was to be hit by her intoxicating aroma while she was within an easy striking distance. Hopefully I would be able to catch her scent and lock away my 'beast' before she was still a good fifty feet away. Emmett was standing about twenty feet in front of me facing away from the arrivals gate. He would watch me carefully and secure me should I charge at her. Rose was positioned at the side of the gate. She would grab Bella and whisk her away if Emmett and I got into it.
I watched the arrivals board with great care. Bella's flight arrived at the gate three minutes early. I started to make allowances in my mind for the gate the plane arrived at. As the seconds ticked by I breathed deeply hoping, but also dreading, catching her scent. Eighteen minutes and twenty-eight seconds after her plane was marked as arrived, I picked up her scent. Even though I had a perfect memory of it from back in Phoenix, I was surprised at how it had changed over the years. Somehow it was impossibly sweeter and even more luscious than before. Emmett's eyes and thoughts followed every minute change in me. As the scent grew stronger I closed my eyes and inhaled. I allowed the beast to savor her scent, but I visualized my bloodlust locked inside a titanium-reinforced cell. I kept my eyes closed as I searched for her thoughts amongst the constant stream of people leaving the gate. I wasn't able to find her thoughts, which wasn't too surprising given that I was searching through hundreds of minds. As her scent gradually grew stronger and more enticing, the beast pounded against the cage. He begged me to open my eyes and the cage. He pleaded with me to follow my instincts.
I frantically searched through the thoughts of the people around me. Bella's scent was as strong as ever. She had to be getting closer at least I hoped so. If she was still far way and her scent was this intoxicating I would never be able to hold back. I balled my fists and will myself to stay still. Eventually her scent stabilized. She must have stopped, but still nothing on her thoughts. The beast howled and clawed at the cage. I could see it flex, but it held.
I took another deep breath before Emmett's thoughts broke through my concentration.
"Open you eyes, numb nuts!" Emmett mentally screamed at me. With my gift I could see through other's thoughts just as easily as I could my own eyes. To be honest, I forgot mine were even closed.
My eyes shot open to find a petite brunette, with the most amazing brilliant smile standing right in front of me.
"Whew! I thought you were sleeping or something," Bella said with an electrifying grin. Now that my eyes were open, I couldn't stop from staring into the most beautiful set of brown eyes I had ever seen. They were so deep and variegated with chocolate and hazel hues.
"You're Edward Cullen right?" She asked.
"Edward!" Rose's thoughts yelled at me. "Snap out of it! You're standing too still. You look like some creepy wax statue!"
I forced myself to look through Rose's and Emmett's thoughts. I was standing dead still, with my unblinking eyes staring down at Bella.
Damn she's gorgeous!
I felt a hard body knock into me, forcing me to stumble a step backwards. Knowing that no human would have been able to move me, I reluctantly tore my eyes away from Bella to catch the back of Emmett's head.
"Sorry," he gruffly replied. Mentally he was yelling at me. "What the fuck, Edward! You better get you head out of ass and start talking or I'm dragging you out of here. You're making a fucking scene!"
I blinked a couple of times before shaking my head at Emmett's retreating form. I tuned back towards Bella. She was looking at me like I was crazy. "Bella?" I asked quietly.
She nodded. "That's me. Are you okay?" she asked with a concerned look on her face.
"I'm sorry, I was just…you know what never mind. Let's start over." I replied. I took a deep breath, allowing her scent to pour into me. I exhaled slowly while I harnessed my thoughts and wits. By the time I was done, I was surprisingly carefree and smiling. "Hello! You must be Bella, Charlie's daughter. I'm Edward Cullen." I said cheerfully while extending my hand to her.
"Jesus, Edward. You're going to give the girl whiplash." Rose thought to me.
Bella shook her head, but then smiled at me. "Hello, Edward. It's nice to meet you." She replied. She took my hand and we shook. Her hand was so small and warm compared to mine. I loved the way the heat radiated up my arm. I felt her hand squeeze mine as she looked down at where we joined. I felt her thumb rub over the back of my hand before she released her grip. She then looked up at me with a soft smile.
It was at that moment I realized that I could not hear anything from her mind. Nothing. She was completely silent. I had gotten used to Charlie's soft thoughts, but Bella's were completely hidden from me. Part of me wanted to panic over her quiet mind, but I was even more intrigued by this unexpected turn of events.
"May I?" I asked as I reached for the small suitcase Bella had been towing behind her.
"If you want, sure. Thank you." She replied. I pulled her luggage next to me.
"Do you have any other luggage?" I asked.
"Nope," she answered while shaking her head. "I'm a pretty light traveler."
"Okay. Shall we?" I asked as I motioned towards the exit.
Bella nodded. In the back of my mind I heard the beast howl and rattle against his cage. The burn in my throat was there as well, but everything was in check. The thought of hurting the young women my singer had become was just too painful to consider. Granted we were in a relatively open air space, but with each step I felt better about my chances of actually getting though this. It was at this time that I noticed the other people around us, including Emmett and Rose. Both of them stood off to side with strange smiles on their faces.
"You're doing good, Edward." Rose thought to me.
Bella and I passed them and I gave a slight nod. Rose and Emmett would stay behind us until we got to the car, then they would follow us home.
"So how was your flight?" I asked. I looked towards Bella. She had been watching me as we walked. She blushed at me catching her, and I had to force myself not to reach out and touch her now pink cheek.
"It was uneventful, which is what I always hope for in a flight," she answered lightly. "You know…no screaming kids, people with B.O., or handsy neighbors."
The idea of anyone getting 'handsy' with Bella caused a burst of anger through me. Emmett, who could easily hear our conversation, spotted the stiffening of my shoulders.
"Easy, Edward," he thought at me. "No one actually touched her."
As we walked along, Bella bumped into me several times. The first time, a rude businessman had accidentally pushed her into me. However, the next two times it had seemed like she did it on purpose. Each time it happened the closeness of her scent saturated my senses, causing the beast to demand her blood, but his commands fell on deaf ears.
When we reached my SUV, I opened the passenger door for Bella. I held out my hand to steady her as she stepped into the vehicle. Once in her seat she looked up at me with a shy smile. "First you carry my bag, now you're opening doors for me and helping me into cars. You better watch it, Mr. Cullen, or you just may spoil me for any other guy." Bella finished her sentence with a couple flutters of her eyelashes.
"Holy shit!" Emmett's thoughts teased. "She's flirting with you!"
Part of me couldn't believe Emmett's statement, but the flush on Bella's cheeks and her demure smile told me otherwise. In the handful of minutes that had passed since I met Bella, a feeling had been growing inside me. A feeling I had never felt myself, but I had seen in the thoughts of my family and others. I was careful to not fully acknowledge it, because if it wasn't real, it would crush me. However, this feeling gave me the strength and desire to do something I had never done before. I just hoped I wouldn't suck at it.
"And would that be such a terrible thing, Miss Swan?" I replied with a cocky smirk. Bella blew out a breath that caught me unprepared, not from the searing bloodlust, but from other emotional stirrings.
"Dude! You're flirting back!" Emmett thought. "Oh fuck, you're…" I ignored the rest of Emmett's thoughts as I watched Bella's teeth lightly pull on her bottom lip.
"No, that doesn't sound terrible at all." She whispered.
"I'm very glad to hear that," I replied with sly wink before shutting her door.