CHAPTER FOUR
The next morning, he was abruptly woken up by a commotion that nearly shook the entire house. He could hear everyone shouting and screaming. Seeing Guinness in his arms and the bloodstained sheets, he was pulled back into the reality that he didn't want to accept.
Getting dressed, he ran his hand through his messy hair and slowly made his way downstairs. "What is going on?" he demanded, watching everyone scurrying around like headless chickens.
None of them answered him and he quickly grew irate. "I said… WHAT. IS. GOING. ON?!"
Nina, completely flustered, huffed at him. "If you really care to know, the lady has been found, but she is unwell. She has been out in the cold all night and will not wake." With that, she hurried way with the cloth in her hand.
Edward quickly followed her. His heart raced. He was glad that she was back, but was she alright? Was the baby alright? Were they going to… die? No, he couldn't have that. It would destroy him.
He rushed into the room and found her lying in their bed, pale and unresponsive. The female servants had stripped her out of her dirty clothes and reclothed in something warmer.
When he walked towards the bed, no one acknowledged him as they normally would. He could feel their accusatory stares and knew that he had lost all respect they had for him. "Open your eyes." He begged her, holding her icy hand. He kissed her palm. "I swear I will do better. I'll do anything you'd like. I'll spend as many lifetimes as I need to make it up to you." The tears trailed down his face and fell on to the cover. "I love you. Just please, please wake up. Even if it means that you'll never love me back. I'll leave. I'll do anything."
The servants all watched their master completely fall apart. They were used to his nervous breakdowns, but it was never like this. They could feel his agony and regret suffocating the room.
"Let's get you out. The doctor is here and he needs to do his job without any interference," Nina quietly said, guiding him past the physician.
He dazedly followed, wondering if this was truly it. No, Dr. Brown was going to help her. He would be able to fix her. He had to.
Time crawled slowly as he waited. No matter who went by or Nina's incessant nags, he did not move from his spot beside the door. The servants went in and out constantly, but none of them would allow him access.
Had it been any normal day, they wouldn't have dared to defy him, but she had always been the favourite. She didn't just treat them well; she treated them like they were her friends. She had their affection – their loyalty. He didn't blame them. He would never harm any of them, but he also didn't care to learn all of their names or their back story. It seemed so insignificant to him and it wasn't as if he'd be able to remember all of them, but she did.
She had spread her love equally among them, while he took favourites. Perhaps that was what he did wrong. One day, his favouritism turned into something more.
"Mr. Mott?" Dr. Brown's low voice cut through his thoughts.
He immediately stood up. His eyes were wild as he looked expectantly at the doctor.
"Mrs. Mott is doing better. She is slowly warming up and the baby is fine. Please, in her condition, she shouldn't be left wandering in the cold alone. Not only are the woods unsafe for a defenceless, pregnant lady, they are also more prone to the cold. Take good care of her." Dr. Brown stood in front of him as he slowly allowed the information to sink in.
She was going to be alright. The baby was going to be alright.
A throat clearing snapped him back to reality, once more.
"H-Here." He went into his pocket and stuffed the entire coin pouch into the doctor's hand. "Keep it. Can I see her, now?"
The doctor nodded. "I will return tomorrow to see how she is doing. Make sure she doesn't stay out all night, especially since she is carrying. Take care of your wife, Mr. Mott."
With a nod, Dr. Brown was shown out of the house.
Edward wondered if he somehow knew. Had someone told him? Was it one of the servants? Did she wake up and tell her herself? Did she plan on packing up and leaving, now?
Suddenly, he dreaded going in there. Not only did he fear what she was going to say, he also didn't want to see her so frail. She had always been delicate, but never on the verge of completely falling apart and it was his entire fault. He didn't want to see her hate-filled eyes on him. That would break him, but he really wanted to see her. He needed to see her, to make sure that she was really alright.
After taking several deep breaths, he stepped into the room where only one servant remained. Seeing him, the woman lowered her eyes and silently walked away.
He sat beside her and found her still unconscious, but she was breathing easy. Her face wasn't ashy anymore and when he held her hand, she was warm. He brushed back her tangled brown hair and slowly began to unknot the long tresses.
"Wake up," he urged her. "I need to see that you're really alright. Let me make it up to you. I swear I'll be good. I'll do anything you ask. Please, wake up." He repeated the words over and over, again. What else was he going to say?
She remained still.
He didn't know what he expected. Why, of all people, would she listen to him? He was the one who did this to her in the first place.
"I know I've done you wrong. I know if you never forgive me that it'd be exactly what I deserve. I know th-th…" His words dissolved into sobs as he couldn't see a single way things would return to how they were. HE had gotten too greedy. He had gotten too careless. He had taken everything for granted.
When he opened his eyes, he nearly jumped out of his skin as two blue orbs stared back at him. "You're awake!" he breathed.
She opened her mouth and a coughing fit wracked through her body. He immediately shouted for help, imagining the worst, but when Nina came rushing over, she merely poured her a glass of water from the jug on the other side of the bed and helped his weak wife sit up.
Nina gently tilted the cup until all the water was gone and the cough subsided. In the meanwhile, the servant never said a word to him and he felt as if he was an outsider in his own home.
The servant leaned down and whispered into his wife's ear and whatever she said garnered a headshake. She patted her mistress' hand, shot him a well-deserved glare, and left.
"D-do you want me to leave?" he stammered.
She shook her head, again, but said nothing.
He didn't know what to do. HE wasn't used to this awkwardness between them. Whenever they were together, she was in his arms and they'd flirt like a young couple.
"Is there anything I can do to make you more comfortable? Do you need anything, at all?" He could feel his anxiety growing.
She shook her head.
"Talk to me. I can't stand this. I'm so sort for what I've done, but let me try to make it up to you. Do you want to hit me? Yell at me? I'll get on my knees and grovel. I swear that I'll do anything." He was already on his knees, looking at her with wide, hopeful eyes.
"No." Her quiet voice was the loudest thing he heard all day. It even superseded the drum-like beats of his heart. "Just sit there and don't say anything."
She closed her eyes, again. Time passed in completely silence. At one point, he wondered if he had imagined the entire interaction. "M – "
"Shh…" she hushed him. "I want to pretend that everything is still alright, even for a short moment."
He immediately clamped his mouth shut and closed his eyes, as well. HE imagined a time before he even had the temptation to look at another person.
They were in a large house – their old home. The fireplace was on because she was always a little ice cube. He'd have to suffer the heat or her wrath would be upon him.
Before they moved to the plantation, they lived life without much need for work. He had appointments with the other lords, but most of the time, he cancelled because of anxiety issues. It wasn't long before he began to lose the connections and when they happened, money slowed.
Soon, they didn't have the luxury of hiding in the large house. They had to rent out the beautiful manor and relocated to the slave-filled land. He hated the change, but knew that there wasn't much he could've done about it until he regained the respect of the other men.
It had been a difficult process. He didn't want to tell her of all his failures. He didn't want her to know that he was so incompetent, so he confided in another person. It had merely been midnight rants before it turned into something more.
Yes, that was when it all went wrong. He indulged in the forbidden romance and eventually, things got better. He had the best of both worlds. The only thing he had to do was keep them separated.
He couldn't even do that.
He should've known that it wouldn't last. He was actually surprised that he had kept on it for so long.
"I want to hate you." He voice shattered his thoughts.
He looked at her to see the tears streaming down the side of her face.
"But I can't," she sobbed. "Why didn't you tell me about it? How could you keep it a secret from me for this long? Did you ever even love me? Was everything a lie?!"
"Of course, I love you!" he quickly told her. "I've never stopped loving you, I swear." He squeezed her hand, hoping that somehow, she could just feel how genuine he was. "I'm sorry. I'll do anything to make it right, again. Just tell me what I have to do. I'll do it."
She didn't say anything to him. He thought that her silence meant that there was absolutely nothing he could do to fix the disaster he had created.
"Don't let this be the end of us. You're pregnant with my child." HE gently placed his hand on her stomach. 'Give me a chance to make things right. Please."
She rubbed her eyes and sighed at him. "Do you know what the worst thing is? I'm not even that angry that the two of you are together. I'm angry that you've kept this a secret from me for the past… the past five years. If you're unhappy with me, can't you tell me? I can change."
His heart dropped. No, that wasn't what he wanted, at all. This conversation suddenly took a drastic turn that made him feel even worse. He didn't think that that was even possible.
He never meant to make her feel as if she wasn't good enough for him. It was the complete opposite! He was the one who didn't deserve her. She was too good – too pure.
"Don't ever think that! I didn't keep it a secret to hurt you. I didn't go to him because you've done anything wrong or you're not good enough. You're perfect. It's me. There's something wrong with me." He didn't want to admit to her that he sometimes liked to see a flat chest and a hard cock. It wasn't anything she could do about it. There was just something sick in his head.
"But I love you…" Her voice was so soft and sad.
"And I love you. Always," he told her.
She sighed. 'I'd like to go to sleep, now."
He had no choice but to leave and when he was gone; he didn't know if things had gotten better or worse.
She sighed, again. Talking to him had taken a lot out of her.
Every part of her wanted to fling herself into his arms and pull him down on to the bed, but what he had done… How could she ever forgive him?
At first, it was the fact that he had a lover that made her run, but the more she thought about it, the more she realised that that hadn't been it, at all. She was hurt that he had kept this all from her. It wasn't as if she hadn't heard the others whisper about it before, but she had hoped that it was either not true or he would tell her about it, sooner.
She knew that men and women always had their side lovers. Maybe she was naïve to think that their love was enough.
It wasn't.
And now, they had this fragmented relationship. What was she going to do? She couldn't just leave. Her son needed his father and it wouldn't be fair to anyone if she took him away. Perhaps she was just trying to justify her own wretched heart refusing to allow her to give up on her husband.
"What am I going to do?" she whispered into the empty room, hoping that someone from above would give her the answers she needed to make the right decision.
AUTHOR'S NOTE
There should only be one more chapter left and then I will get on to posting Hotel, soon! I noticed one little problem. I don't have a title, yet, and I was hoping that you guys can help me. The requirements are the same as before. It has to start with the letter 'V' and have six letters. Thank you!
James: 3
Both James and John: 4
Thank you guests (anonymouscsifan, Guest, Guest) for reviewing!
anonymouscsifan: I'm working on writing Hotel, now! I'm actually pretty hyped about it. I'm not sure if it's going in the direction that you'd like, but the inspiration has been flowing and I'm pretty content with it, so far. Crimson Peak is still going slow, but it's going. I have maybe a thousand words written a week or so. I'm hoping to pick up the pace for that. And I'd looove to read your AHS story! I doubt it sucks. Don't be so hard on yourself!
Guest: Thanks for the vote! I'll definitely take note of that.
Guest: Thank you! I hope this chapter is fine. I noticed that all my chapters for this story have been quite short. I hope that you don't mind.
Thank you as well to everyone who has favourite and followed this story.
Please, leave a review if you enjoyed this!