~ Washington - August 21, 2004 ~
"Yes, I'm sure."
Bella's eyes never left mine as she waited. I took a needless breath and then I began.
"First, let me just say that everything you noticed about me is real, and is related to what I am. My kind has gone by many names, but the one most westerners are familiar with is…vampire."
Bella never looks away, but her brow pinches together. "Are you kidding me? If you are it's a pretty sick joke." She asked in a terse voice.
"I assure you, I am not. If you would allow me, perhaps a demonstration would help you believe." I offered.
"What, are you going to do? Drink my blood?" Bella's voice was dripping in sarcasm and disbelief.
"No, that would most likely kill you, and by extension me." I stood up and pointed to a line trees about twenty yards away. "Please, let me demonstrate."
Bella stood and started to walk towards the trees. She looked back over her shoulder to see if I was coming, but I just motioned for her to continue. As she approached the trees I scanned the thoughts of everyone in the park. Luckily, no one was near us, or paying attention to what we were doing. I leaped from my spot and landed near the top of one of the trees Bella was approaching. She was unaware that I had moved. When she reached the tree she turned around to find me missing. She glanced around the park for a moment before I let my presence known.
"Up here!" I called down to her.
She glanced up at me with a look of shock over her face.
"How did you do that?" She asked incredulously.
"Vampire," is all I said.
I dropped down thirty feet and landed effortlessly next to Bella. "Come on," I said as I walked into the dense trees. When we reached a little clearing I stopped and turned towards Bella.
"What would you like to see now? How about a feat of strength?" I asked rhetorically. I walked over to one of the trees, grabbed the splintering wood, and heaved it from the ground like I was plucking a weed from a garden. I tossed it aside and turned back to Bella. Her mouth was agape as she watched in astonishment.
"See, vampire," I said plainly. "I could keep going, but is there something specific you would need to see to verify that what I am saying is true?"
Bella looked surprised that I was asking her a question. She looked at me for a long moment before answering. "Where are your fangs?"
"Popular myth, but incorrect," I countered. "However I assure my teeth are sharper than any razor and stronger than diamonds." To prove it, I reached down to the forest floor and picked up a loose rock. With a quick bite I took a perfect crescent section from the stone. I spit out the piece and handed the now deformed rock to Bella. "See no fangs needed."
Bella looked at the rock in her hands as she took a shaky step backwards. I carefully guided her to have a seat on the tree I hand-ripped from the ground and discarded.
"So this is real?" She asked. "You being a vampire, is real?"
"Yes," I simply answered. It was time to allow her ask questions.
"Your special diet is blood?" She asked.
"It is. My family and I only feed from animals, however others of my kind feed from humans. In my family, we all have amber eyes. It comes from consuming animal blood. Vampires that feed from humans have red eyes."
"My dad knows this?"
"Yes, but he found out a slightly different way."
"You mean at the barn?"
"Yes. I was there. Would you like to know the story?" I asked. Bell nodded, so I spent the next twenty minutes going over everything that happened leading up to, at, and after the barn incident. I left out no significant detail.
"So you saved him." Bella stated more as a fact than as a question.
"I did. I couldn't let him and Mark die."
Bella thought to herself for a moment. "The bullet that my father carries with him is not from his vest is it?"
"No, that is the bullet that struck me on the back. He told me it reminds him of what he could have lost that night, which was not only his life, but you as well."
A couple tears fell onto Bella's cheeks. She wiped them away. "Thank you," she said, before looking at the rock she still held. "Did it hurt when you got shot?"
"No. I hardly felt it. I'm pretty durable." I said giving Bella a soft smile. She wiped away another tear and smiled a little at me as well.
"The movies and books have it all wrong about vampires don't they?" She asked.
"Yes and no. The danger and death are certainly real, but most of the other things are untrue myths. Which ironically, have been planted by my kind to throw humans off the track."
"Humans," Bella whispered. "You really aren't human." I shook my head. "You were once human, right?"
"I was. I was born in Chicago in 1901. In 1918 the Spanish influenza epidemic claimed the lives of my parents. I was infected too. I would have died along with them, but before her death, my mother pleaded with the doctor caring for us to help me. Somehow she knew he had the ability to save me. Carlisle Cullen, who I now consider my father, was that doctor, and a vampire. He changed me into what I am now."
"In 1901. So you don't age, you're…" Bella paused trying to think of the correct word.
"…immortal," I answered for her. "Carlisle is over three hundred and sixty years old. There are some of my kind that have existed for many millennium. We are frozen in time when we are changed. So I'm forever to look seventeen. What that also means is that we have to move around a lot. We can realistically stay in one location for about eight to ten years before the humans start to notice we haven't changed."
"Wow, to see what you have seen over the years…on the surface it seems incredible, but I bet being a perpetual teenager get olds." She stated.
"It is true that I have seen many things. Most of my kind live like nomads, wondering around. Some live in small covens, but it is rare for a large number of vampires to want to live together. It is even rarer to integrate ourselves into the human world. We do it for many reasons, not the least of which is to combat the boredom that comes with forever. Plus, our diet and our lifestyle help us feel less like monsters, and more like the humans we once were."
"Monsters, huh," Bella commented. "What little I know about fictional vampires is that they are damned in the eyes of God. Is that true?"
"Who knows?" I answered. "I used to think I was. It's easy to believe you are when you thirst for human blood. But recently I have come to believe differently. I hope that if I ever leave this earth I will be judged on all my actions. Hopefully my good deeds will outweigh the blood on my balance sheet."
"So you've killed humans before?" She asked tentatively, her eyes turning away from mine.
"I have. First I should tell you that I have a gift. One that Charlie does not know about. I am able to read the thoughts of those around me." I stated.
Bella gasped. "Oh my god! You…you can read my thoughts?" She asked shakily.
"No. Your mind is silent to me." I answered. Bella thanked god under her breath for her exception to my gift. "You're solely unique in that capacity. I have to admit it has been maddening at times. I get used to knowing what people are thinking. But it can be a terrible burden as well, as I can't shut it off. I hear the thoughts of those around me whether I want to or not. I should say that the volume of Charlie's thoughts are very soft compared to others, but I can read his if I am close enough."
I paused to let this sink in before I continued. "About twenty years after my change I rebelled against the animal lifestyle, or what my family calls our vegetarian lifestyle, that Carlisle follows. I wanted to act like the vampire I was. So using my gift, I sought out murders, rapists, and child molesters. I drank from them and killed them. I thought I could satisfy my thirst by ridding society of its dregs. This lasted for a number of years before the guilt of playing god weighed too heavily on me. I rejoined Carlisle and his mate, Esme, who is now my mother. So I do have blood on my hands, and I work every day to wash away some of its stain."
"And my father…" Bella trails off.
"He knows all of this." I stated.
Bella sat in silence. I couldn't bear to look at her. Having to tell her that I was a murderer was one of the most painful things I have ever had to do. The shame I felt was crippling. I had come to terms with the lives I took, but I couldn't expect Bella to absolve me of all that death.
Eventually, Bella broke our silence. "Can we walk a bit?" She asked as she stood.
"Sure," I responded. I spotted a path not too far from us and headed down it. I did notice that she clutched the rock I bit tightly in her hands.
"Do all vampires have gifts?"
"No, they don't. Most gifts are unique to the individual and most likely come from some latent trait the vampire had as a human. I can read minds. My sister Alice can see the future as it pertains to the decisions individuals make. If a person changes their mind on something, her visions change. Her mate, my brother Jasper, can read and influence emotions. As best we can tell, no one else in my family has any other gifts, however vampire mental capacity, senses and reflexes are super enhanced so even without a gift, vampires experience a lot more of the world."
Bella nodded and we continued down the path. A few minutes later she spoke again.
"So holy water, sunlight, crucifixes, wooden stakes, coffins…are any of those myths real?" She asked.
"No. I mean if a bullet bounces off me, a wooden stake isn't going to do anything. Sunlight will not harm us, but it is a nuisance. As you saw, we sparkle in direct sunlight. It is one of the reasons we like the Forks area. Sunny days are rare. Spending your existence only coming out at night is tedious and demoralizing. Especially since vampires don't sleep."
"What? Really?" Bella asked.
"Nope. I haven't had a good night's sleep in eighty-six years." I quipped.
As we walked we approached a fallen tree blocking the path. Instead of lifting Bella over the tree, I just tossed it aside like a twig. Bella shook her head but kept walking. She was deep in thought so we continued on.
"Do you want to drink from me?" she asked breaking our silence.
"At one time, I did. In fact your blood appealed to me more than any human ever has." I answered.
"But not anymore?" She asked in a surprised tone.
"No. I mean, I do find you tempting, but my desire for your blood is now secondary to your other allurements."
"Oh," Bella whispered as she blushed at the implications of my words.
I was not going to rush her in any capacity, but I did want her know I desired her beyond just her blood. I did hope that she wouldn't ask any questions that would force me to explain that I almost killed her as a child. I would tell her if she asked. I would not lie or deceive her, just as I fully intended on telling her about our close call in Phoenix, just hopefully not today. I didn't think she could handle that part of our story at this time.
We walked in silence for another ten minutes. During that time I noticed Bella had opened her mouth to speak several times, but then decided to against it. Finally she stopped walking and faced me.
"Earlier you mentioned that you father has a mate, and that your sister is mated." She said while turning the rock in her hands. "What does that mean exactly?"
Even though telling her about my rebellious period is what I dreaded the most, this topic was the second highest on my worry list. For a modern woman Bella's age, eternal commitment had to be a frightening and bothersome topic. I knew that to a human it had to seem that mating took away one's choices in finding a partner. As a vampire, and especially one who had mated, it was easy to see it as a safeguard to ensure a vampire recognized the one soul they could endure forever with. To the mated, it was the ultimate culmination of love, passion, and commitment for another being.
I took a deep breath and then told Bella all about vampire mating, including that the couples in my family were all mated to each other. I did my best to covey the required details, along with the beauty and symmetry of the mating bond.
After I finished, Bella started walking again. Every so often she would lift her eyes to look at me, but otherwise she walked along in silence. Eventually Bella stopped and sat down on another fallen tree. She sat there for more than thirty minutes lost in her thoughts. I looked up at the cloudy sky. From the location of the sun I had to guess it was getting close to six o'clock. If we were going to walk back, we needed to start soon before the light started to fade and it became too difficult for Bella to see the path.
"Bella?" I finally said to her. She looked up at me with tears in her eyes. "If we are going to walk back, we should start soon." I told her.
"If? Is there another option?" She asked.
"Well, I could carry you and move at a more vampire appropriate speed. If I did that we would be back in a few minutes."
Bell thought about it for a moment. "I would like to stay here for a bit then." She said. I just nodded and let her go back to her thoughts.
After another twenty minutes she finally spoke again. "Mating is permanent, final?" She asked in a sad voice.
"Yes," I told her. "Once a vampire finds his mate, no one else will ever touch his or her heart. In my world mating is forever and eternal."
After another fifteen minutes of silence Bella asked if we could go. I walked over to her and picked her up like I did on our trip to and from the beach.
"You may want to close your eyes if the speed or motion makes you dizzy." I told her. "Also, if you want me to stop at any time, just let me know."
Bella placed her head on my chest and grabbed onto my shirt. "I'm ready," she told me.
I ran back through the path at a leisurely pace, for me at least. For Bella it had to appear much different. I didn't want to travel too fast this first time. Given Bella's somber reflection and tears, I was beginning to wonder if I would ever get to run with again after this night. During the trip back, Bella mostly kept her eyes open, except for the few times I needed to change direction. As we approached the spot I tore the tree from the ground, I slowed to stop and placed her on the ground.
"It would probably be best for you to walk from here." I said.
"Okay. I think I just would like to go home." She told me.
"If that is what you want, then no problem." I replied trying hard to mask the disappointment in my voice.
Once we were in the SUV, I drove straight to her house. Bella sat in silence pressed up against the passenger door. My only consolation was that she clutched the rock I bit through like it was a lifeline. We arrived back just after eight o'clock. I could tell by Charlie's thoughts that the Mariners lost the game by one run, and that Billy and Jacob had just left a few minutes before. With deep breath, I turned off the engine of the vehicle.
"You had said it is dangerous for me to know. Why is that?" She asked.
I explained about the Volturi and the primary vampire law of keeping our existence a secret. Bella blanched when I told her that it would mean death for her, Charlie, and my family, if the Volturi ever found out.
"Bella, you should know that my family and I will do everything we can to keep you and Charlie safe. You may speak to Charlie about all of this, in private of course, but no one else can ever know. I hate to place that burden on you, but having this knowledge is dangerous."
Bell nodded. She looked up at the front of the house. We could see Charlie's silhouette in the front window watching us. "Edward, I need some time to think all of this over. It's all a bit more than I expected. But you should know, no matter what, your family's secret will be safe."
"Thank you and I understand." I replied. This time I could not mask the hurt in me voice.
Bella opened her door and got out. Before closing it, she leaned in. "Please answered me one more question. I think I already know the answer to this, but I have to have to hear it from you. Am I your mate?"
Bella's eyes had welled with tears again and her bottom lip was trembling. My dead heart broke seeing her pain and sadness.
"You are." I told her. Bella nodded and closed the door.
I watched as she slowly walked into the house. Once inside I could see from Charlie's thoughts that Bella started sobbing as she ran to him. Charlie wrapped his arms around Bella and comforted her.
I started the vehicle and pulled out of the driveway. They both needed their privacy. Bella said she needed time and I would give her that, even if that meant I stayed away for a lifetime. As I drove away, my world shattered as I wondered if I would ever see her again.