~ Forks, Washington - September 04, 2004 ~
Another week had passed and I still had no word from Bella. The emotional pain had moved in the physical realm. Everyday I sat in the music room at my piano and remembered how Bella looked sitting in the garden window. My only bright spot of the week was two days ago when I supposed to go into the station, but Mark had called and told me Charlie wasn't around so there was no reason to come in. I had been hoping to accomplish two things at the station that day. The first was to obviously glean some information about Bella. The second was to confess to him that I could read minds. After I told Bella about our gifts, I knew I would have to tell Charlie. My guess was he would be upset knowing his private thoughts were anything but that, however I couldn't fathom how much worse this could get.
When Mark canceled, I also realized how much I had missed spending time with Charlie. As a byproduct of my gift, I long ago came to the conclusion that most individuals, whether vampire or human, are petty and think meanly of others. Their thoughts often belied their actions in an unflattering way. But Charlie's thoughts often showed the additional depth and consideration he purposely chose to conceal. Plus, his private musings about fishing and his sports teams were amusing. It now seemed I lost not only Bella, but Charlie as well.
I was about to go for a run to clear my thoughts when my phone rang. The call was from Charlie's home number.
"Hello?" I answered calmly as I could, despite my growing anxiety.
"Hello, Edward, It's Charlie Swan." he replied. He sounded nervous. "I am calling because Bella has asked me to pass along a message to you. But I am under strict orders from her to give it to you in person. Do you think you could come by the house today around 10:00am?"
The surge of excitement I felt over being able to get any information was powerful. I had to concentrate carefully on my strength so I would not pulverize the phone. That would be counter productive to my goal.
"I can come by." I answered excitedly, but then I forced myself to calm down. "Charlie? Is she okay?"
"I think she is. When you come over, we'll talk. Okay?" He replied.
"I would appreciate that." I told him.
"I'll see you soon, then. Bye, Edward."
"Good bye, Charlie, and thank you."
I pulled up in front of Charlie Swan's house a couple minutes early. I was a bit surprised not to see his cruiser parked in the driveway or hear his thoughts. I assumed he was called out on police business. I was tempted to stop by later, but I turned off the engine and decided to wait. As I sat inside my vehicle I heard the rapid beating of a heart coming from Charlie's house. I knew that heart beat. I existed for that heart beat. Dropping all pretenses since no one else was around, I exited the SUV and flew to the door at my vampire speed. I took a deep breath and reveled in her intoxicating scent. Before I could knock, the door swung open.
Bella.
"Hi," the love of my existence greeted me with a smile.
"You're here?" It was all I could say at that moment.
"I am." Her smile turned to a full smirk as she took in my stunned look. "Do you want to come in?"
I nodded.
Once we were in the family room, she motioned for me to sit down.
The initial shock of seeing her had started to wear off and the realization that Charlie had tricked me started to set in.
Bella played nervously with an elastic hairband she wore on her wrist. "I guess you are wondering what I am doing here?" she asked.
"Yes, and a few other things."
"Well, the simple answer is that I live here now."
"What? Really?" I asked excitedly.
Bella nodded and then continued. "This is something I'd been thinking about for a while now. My Mom's new husband, Phil, is a minor league baseball player. He is trying to catch on with a team in Jacksonville. My mom misses him when he's on the road playing and if he has to move to Florida…well I don't want to live in Florida. Originally, I thought I would move up here after Christmas, but then Dad got injured so the seed was planted that maybe I should move up here sooner." Bella paused and really looked at me for the first time since she started talking. "And then you came along and everything was wonderful and confusing at the same time. I hadn't even spoken to Dad about me moving up here before I started falling for you...and then there was learning about your secret."
Bella got up and paced around the room. I could see she still had something to say, so instead of asking my many questions, I patiently waited.
"Edward, I realize that I left you hanging a couple weeks ago. That wasn't fair to you and I'm sorry. I was overwhelmed by many of the things you told me. It was hard for me to reconcile what you are and the lives you took with person I knew. But mostly I was freaked the hell out by the whole mating thing."
Bella sat down next to me on the couch and took my hand in hers. The heat and the comfort it brought to me was more than welcomed. She closed her eyes as I saw the stress leave her shoulders. After a couple of breaths, she opened her eyes and smiled.
"You feel this too, don't you? This connection between us?" she asked.
"I do, very much so." I answered.
"It was there from the beginning for me. I couldn't explain it. I fell so hard and fast for you. I was scared of the feelings I had, but you seemed to be smitten too, so I didn't dwell on it. I was convinced that I was in deeper than you. Guys just don't fall in love after a few hours, right? But that was before I knew what you were. As soon as you mentioned that your father had a mate. The word and it general connotation just clicked with me. Then after you described what it meant for a…vampire…I just freaked out."
Bella got up and started pacing again…this time faster than before. When she continued, her words came out quick and desperate.
"You were talking about mating and forever…and I couldn't deny what I felt. But come on! I'm only seventeen…almost. The idea of you and I being eternally destined for one another was absurd. I don't even know what college I want to go to or what to major in! How was I supposed to accept that I had fallen hopelessly and irrevocably in love with this sexy, mythical creature…and that I really had no say in the matter! I mean...thanks to some fucked up supernatural love mojo, I find out that you and I are both bound to each other for eternity. I don't even know your middle name or you favorite color for Christ's sake!"
Bella sank down on the chair across from me, covering her face with her hands. The scent of her tears hung in the air. In a blink I was kneeling in front of her. I pulled her to my chest and wrapped my arms around her as she started to sob. I held Bella against me and allowed her purge all of her pent up emotions. Lord knows I had them too, but since I couldn't cry them out, I let her do that for the both of us.
After a few minutes her breathing evened out.
"Anthony and brown," I whispered to her. Bella pulled away with a confused look. "My middle name and favorite color. Anthony and brown."
Bella wiped her tears and nodded. "Thank you. I swore I wasn't going to cry." She sat up and pulled my hands into her lap. "I have more to say."
"I am not going anywhere," I told her. "Go on."
Bella gave me a slight smile. "The day after, on Sunday, I talked to Dad about moving here. Let's just say he was quite excited about it. I did make sure he knew I was considering this before you came into the picture. But as my Dad said, you being here was one hell of a fringe benefit." Bella smiled and shook her head. "The two of us pretty much spent the remainder of my visit trying to get things coordinated. Between dealing with my Mom, meeting with the school district, filling out paperwork, requesting transcripts, being placed on Dad's insurance, moving my bank account, and a few other things I'm forgetting, I wanted to get back here as soon as possible, so I had to push you out of my mind and focus on the task at hand."
Bella paused and turned my hand over, before she placed a chaste kiss to my palm. "But I couldn't keep from thinking of you, especially at night. I want you to know you were the last person I thought about each night. The person I dreamt about, and the first person I thought of when I woke up. Before I knew it, it was time fly back to Phoenix. I swear, with each mile my plane flew south I felt a bigger and more painful hole open up in my chest.
"It was much harder to focus in Phoenix. At first, my Mom was pissed at me for abandoning her, and then she got into full-on mother hen mode because her baby was leaving. Plus I had to pack up my life and say goodbye to a few friends. I forced myself to work through each task. I used you as my motivation to push forward. The faster I got everything done, the faster I could return to Forks…return to you."
Bella reached up a laid her hand against my cheek. I pressed into her palm and closed my eyes, basking in the sublime joy of her touch.
"Edward, when I got home after our talk in the park, I was a mess. Dad let me cry and we talked. Hell, we talked until three in the morning. I knew then that it didn't matter what you were, or what you did decades ago. Vampire or human, it didn't matter. What did matter to me was the man you are now. It took me longer to work through the whole mating thing, though. Growing up, my mom was not shy on telling me, over and over again, that I should never let anyone dictate my future…especially a guy. She preached that it was up to me to find my own way in the world and to create my own happiness. The concept of mating seemed to contradict all of that.
"It wasn't until I was back in Phoenix that I started to come to grips with the concept of mating. It actually came to me as I was packing up my room. I was going through my things, trying to decide what to keep and what to throw away. I was never much into possessions. I was always more into experiences. The one exception was my books. I loved them. But as I was packing them up I realized it was the story and experiences the characters went through that I cherished, not the physical book itself. I could feel something tugging at me with regards to that line of thought. So before I knew it, I was up most of the night going through my favorite stories trying to figure out what I enjoyed the most about them. Some common themes started to emerge, so I wrote them down on a piece of paper."
Bella handed me a folded piece of paper she had in the back pocket of her jeans
Adventure
Courage
Discovery
Family
Friendship
Passion
True love
"That list, Edward, is how I see my future. Some people may judge the success of their life on the things they buy or control, but that isn't me. I know happiness for me will come from seeking out the things on that list. I know that list may change over time, but I think that is pretty good place to start. My epiphany about mating came when I realized that mating did not preclude anything on that list. In fact, most, if not all of the items listed would only be improved by sharing it with the person I loved the most. Plus, I also realized that if I let my mom or dad's tainted notions of dating and marriage influence what I wanted…sorry, but they never covered eternal mating with me…then I wasn't really living my own life."
I was amazed by my wonderful Bella and a bit ashamed how had acted over the past two weeks. I knew she was confused and upset by what I said…really any human should be. Kate even eluded that the idea of being mated could illicit anxiety over the expected loss of independence and freewill. But I was still too wrapped up into my own loneliness and pity to truly appreciate what Bella was going through. She was intelligent and thoughtful beyond her years. In the span of days she wrestled with and accepted me as her mate, or at least I think she did. I still had enough insecurity coursing through me that I needed to hear from her that she accepted me as her partner for eternity.
"Bella, you covered a lot of ground here. I hope you won't think I'm dense or just fishing for the obvious, but are you saying you're accepting me as your mate, or whatever the human equivalent to that is?"
Bella smiled before throwing her arms around my neck and kissing me passionately. She pulled away slightly and moved her lips close to my ear. "Yes. For as long as you'll have me, I'm yours," she said softy.
I closed my eyes and allowed her words to pour through me. Never had I felt so much joy and lightness. I picked Bella up and spun her around. She squealed and giggled while I peppered her face and neck with soft kisses. When I placed her down I hugged her close to me.
"You said for as long as I will have you, then let's start with forever and see what happens after that," I said before kissing my beautiful mate again.