CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Rory had been completely devastated when he found Luke crying over Madi's body. Somehow, he had a feeling that the spirit, Edward Mott, had meant her when he mentioned a friend. Perhaps it was because that was what he would've done in the spirit's place, but it was so strange seeing someone with his likeness as a ghost.
The thought quickly flit away when he found out that Madi had killed herself. It was so sudden, yet it wasn't. The media had been documenting her descent for months since their breakup and it wasn't as if he never thought about it himself. Sometimes, when he dialled her number and it went nowhere, his heart would jump because he was afraid that she would finally be out of his reach.
When she lost her memories, he thought everything had changed. She looked better – healthier. She looked like a woman in love, again, and it would be a lie if he didn't say that that hurt, but he knew that I was of little importance if it meant her losing her life because he remembered a time when she had been so full of it. Where had it all gone?
Seeing her pale, lifeless face… He felt as if he had lost everything that moment. How could she do this? Hadn't things been better? Why did she have to take her own life?
"Get out!" Luke snarled the moment he saw him. The normally calm, ocean blue eyes were dark with rage. "Haven't you done enough?!"
He caught sight of a bottle on the night stand and walked over to it. Sleeping pills. She had overdosed as he suspected. "And weren't you supposed to be the one monitoring her medication?" he hissed back.
They were trying to pass blame to each other, but he knew that ultimately, he had sent her on this downward spiral. He wondered if being so close to him had caused her memories to return and that was why she had fallen back into her bad habits. If so, he might as well have force fed those pills to her himself.
As Luke continued to ream him out, he finally let slip the words that had been nagging at him since their break up. "I love her, man. Even after everything, I still loved her…" And once he started talking, he couldn't stop. The words kept coming and coming and he felt the weight being slowly lifted off his shoulders.
Once he was done, he touched her cold hands before moving up to her face. "I'm so sorry, Madi." He placed a gentle kiss on her lips and walked out to allow the other man to mourn in silence. The blonde deserved that much. Luke had given her everything he could not.
He entered his room and paced. The tears came relentlessly when no one was watching. Alone, he had no reason to hide or pretend. He broke down like a little boy and couldn't bring himself to stop. He felt as if that one mistake he made had just ruined everything. He was so happy at school when it was just the two of them. They were lost in their own worlds – a world that they created. When had that become insufficient?
"How pathetic…"
He jumped, wiping his tears away. He didn't want Audrey to see him bawling his eyes out, especially not if the camera was on. Who he saw, however, was not his blonde wife. "Who are you? Are you one of the extras? Why the Hell are you in my room?"
She gave him a wide grin. Her long, blonde messy hair shifted as she moved towards him. The old dress she had on was filthy. Who was she?
"The poor, little rich boy is mourning over the poor, little dead girl. How romantic," she sneered and before he knew what was happening, pain slashed across his chest. It was a burning sensation that stung like nothing he had ever felt in his life.
He stumbled back, hitting the wardrobe behind him. His hand tried futilely to stop the flow of blood. "What the f – " At first, he was successful with his attempt to fight off the deranged woman, but another one appeared out of nowhere and stabbed him in the shoulder. It was as if they were trying to make this as painful as possible without killing him when all he wanted was to die and join Madi in death.
Over and over again, they took turns stabbing at him before one of them, he couldn't even tell who anymore because his vision was already flickering in and out, ran the blade deep through his throat. He gurgled as blood spewed from his lips and happily welcomed the sweet oblivion that came right after.
Suddenly, consciousness returned in a split second and he looked around in confusion, wondering if someone had spiked his beer, but one glance at his feet, the nightmare returned.
The two bloody nurses were caressing his body in a way that made his stomach turn. "For fuck's sake, can you not do that to my dead body?" he groaned, rubbing his eyes. Had he really just said that? He felt nauseated just thinking about it.
They both turned to him. "I guess we don't have to now that you're here," the brunette purred at him, her hand never leaving his former neck.
He shook his head, stepping back. It was better that they violated his dead body than to try to violate his… his… spirit? Or whatever he was, now. Better to cut his losses before he had those two following him around.
When he left the room, it was as if he hadn't died. Everything felt the same, but the memory of Madi appearing and disappearing popped into his head. She was here like him. He had to find her. Maybe he'd finally be able to make things right. This was his second chance!
He wandered around, looking for her, but ended up downstairs where most of the cast was still gathered. They were less rowdy, now, and more tipsy.
He saw Audrey smiling and laughing with Dominic. Her hand rested on his knee and his was on hers. Thoughts of the rumours he heard came to him. He had ignored them at first. The others always said Dominic was a two-faced womaniser. After the affair with him and Shelby came to light, he also heard of all the other women who had fallen victim to his charm – Audrey was one of them, but Rory really wanted to believe that it was just a rumour.
As he could see it, however, he had been horribly mistaken. Maybe he just really wanted to believe that he had made the right choice that he hadn't plunged into the deep end way out of his league.
He closed his eyes.
No, that wasn't it. Audrey was just a whore and he was no better. He belonged in their world where all they do was lie and cheat and hurt each other.
Since leaving her, everything he did was wrong. Had she been the only right in his life?
His feet brought him away from the scene and around the house. He caught sight of many other resident spirits. It was so strange and unnerving that just a moment ago, he hadn't noticed what was going on while he was just sitting on the couch. The spirits were laughing and screaming all around, but he had been none the wiser.
He must've been wandering for a while when something, or someone, slammed into him. T he smaller body began to fall backwards, but he instinctively held them in place. The familiarity of the body caught his attention first. Then, the brown hair. He didn't want to let her go, especially when her wide eyes stared back at him – giving him the attention he craved.
"Rory?!" she gasped, scrambling back.
This was no longer the girl who had no idea who he was. She didn't allow him to touch her, recoiling away as if he had the plague.
"Madi…" He reached back out for her, but she continued to back away. "I… I love you." The words came out before he could stop them. It hadn't been the right thing to say, he already knew that, but it was as if he suddenly had no control over himself.
He was dead! Why couldn't he go back to what he had before? Was there really no way for him to redeem himself? If only he could just actually die. What was this half way shit?! He had to continue existing after death while Madi continued to hate his guts?
Things only got worse when he popped out of nowhere and hold her as if he had always been holding her; as if he had the right to hold her!
If he had any blood in this body, he would've been as red as a tomato with steam bursting out of his ears. Why him?! He looked like a mopey version of himself! And what about Luke? Had everything gone out the window as soon as she died? Was everything fair game now? Perhaps that wasn't such a bad thing. Maybe he could get his hands on her, too…
No, he couldn't do that. Madi wasn't some sort of possession, he had to remember what happened the last time he fucked up. This was a delicate situation.
"Look, Rory," Edward spat out his name. He could already tell that they weren't going to get along. "Whoever you think you are or were to Madi is all in the past. No one here has any sympathy for you. You've already broken her heart once. I'm not going to allow it to happen again."
She clutched on to Edward's shirt tighter, as if somehow the other man's presence was actually providing her comfort. He didn't like it. She was clinging to a stranger!
He narrowed his eyes. They were at a standstill, until Madi let out a sigh. Her doe eyes fell on him. "Can we… Can we all just get along? I know I'm the one who had that outburst earlier and I know I may never be able to get over what happened between us, but… If we're going to be stuck here together forever, I'd rather not have to suffer through the awkwardness."
"Whatever pleases you." Edward smiled down at her and she smiled back at him.
Because of this, he couldn't exactly say no. He had to win her favour, again. There was no way that he was going to lose to that pompous dickhead.
"I'll try my hardest." That was the best he could promise.
She turned her smile on him as well and he suddenly wished that he could've given her more. What was holding him back?
"Can I go lay down?" she asked. She was practically leaning all her weight on the other man.
They retreated to the bedroom where an old dusty mattress was laying forgotten in the basement. She immediately lay down and curled up into a ball. Her silence was concerning, neither men knew what to do as they stood by her feet.
Edward made the first move. He knelt beside her, whispering soft words. All Rory saw was her head giving a small bob before the other man crawled in and brought her against him.
It was as if he was watching his past from another point of view. Whenever she was upset, she'd snuggle up against him and he'd keep her safe. How could he prove to her that he could be that person, again? He didn't want to be the outsider. He didn't want to be replaced.
…
I knew I said I was going to be strong, but often, the emotions would overwhelm me and all I wanted to do was withdraw from the world. I wanted to be alone.
When Edward asked if he could stay, I didn't think he was going to lie down beside me, but the moment his arms were around my waist, I instinctively scooted closer. I liked being held. I liked to cuddle and just have that physical support to ground me to reality. If I ever get lost in thought too long, it'd be difficult to get out. I'd be there for hours – days, but when someone else was around, they tend to want attention. They snapped me out of my thoughts.
My therapist told me to write my thoughts down, instead of bottling them in, but how? There were too many of them. There was no way I'd be able to put it all into words. The doctor just didn't understand. They were too technical. They all had their own little notes and checking their big, fat text books as if I was nothing but a school problem with the answer written in those old, unused pages.
I wasn't!
I was a person who couldn't be defined by mere print! Hadn't they realised when none of their medications were working? I had taken them like a good, little girl. I didn't miss a single dose, but it had never been enough, so I took matters into my own hands. It just got a bit… out of hand after. By then, I knew that all the tiny pills weren't helping at all. They were lies to placate me, so I tried to give myself the final fix.
Even that didn't work.
I didn't know whether I was happy about that or not because I was stuck here, now. This wasn't what I thought death would be like. I didn't even know if there was a way to get out of this Hell hole.
"It'll get better," Edward whispered to me, rubbing my arm. "I swear. It'll get better."
I wanted to believe him, but it was just so hard. "When?" I asked. "When is it going to get better? Would it be before or after I lose my mind?" It certainly didn't help that I was stuck with Rory Monahan. Why couldn't he just leave me alone? I already tried my best to save him.
"I don't know," he confessed. "But I'll do everything I can to make it better for you."
I sighed. "Thank you." I leaned over and kissed his cheek, watching him touch the spot in shock. Had I overstepped the line? Since he was holding me so close, I thought it'd be alright, but no matter how helpful he had been, he was still a stranger. It didn't seem right for me to feel so comfortable with him.
"Is there anything I can help you, now?" he asked.
I shook my head. "Just stay here." Maybe I didn't want to be as alone as I thought. What was happening to me? It felt as if I should be trying harder to help the others – the ones still living, but…
It hadn't done me any good, so far. Was it even worth trying?
"If the two of you are just going to lay there, I'll go and try to help my wife get out of this fucked up fate," Rory spat out, storming out of the basement.
His wife…
Audrey Tindall.
I hated her. Even if she hadn't stolen Rory from me, I would've still hated her. I had heard of all the underhanded things she had done to get herself roles. Rory never seemed to care about any of it, so I assumed that I was all out in the open. He was aware of what he had gotten himself into and was just like her – sleeping himself up in the industry.
How much of an idiot was I to fall for it all? Did I think he really loved me? I was just another stepping stone.
"Don't cry," Edward murmured, stroking my hair. He was so like Rory that it was frightening. Was I using him? Were we using each other to fill the voids in our hearts? He had lost his wife and I lost the love of my life. Maybe it was possible to find love after death.
Love…
Luke…
He was still in the house. I needed to get him out.
I wiped away my tears and slowly pulled away from Edward who looked at me with concern. "I need to go upstairs. I need to find Luke." If there was anyone's life that mattered to me, it was Luke's. I had to do everything I could to save him and… and say my goodbyes. Perhaps that was what we both needed, some closure.
My feet carried me to the room that I hadn't even had the chance to sleep in, yet. Luke was still there, but he looked as if he was on the verge of losing his mind.
"He took her!" he muttered to himself, pacing the room. "He took her body. How dare he?! After all that he had done… He had no right to her. I loved her more than he ever did!"
Indeed, my boy was no longer on the bed, but who had taken it?
A hand clutched mine. "Go on," he told me.
With a nod to Edward, I took a deep breath and tugged. "Luke!" I called out to the blond man. "Luke!" My second cry caught his attention. His head snapped up and he looked at me with bloodshot eyes.
"M-Madison?" he breathed out in disbelief. "N-no… You're dead! I saw you! I – I checked your pulse. You were dead!" Nonetheless, he made his way over to me and I took a step forward, sliding my hand out of Edward's.
Luke blinked. "You're not really here, are you? I'm imagining this."
I shook my head. "I'm here, Luke, but not for long. I need to… God… I love you so much and you were the only one who kept me going. I wanted you to know that I didn't kill myself. IO had been so, so happy with you. It's this house. I should've listened to you and never came here."
The tears fell freely down my face. "You need to get out. There are spirits here who want to kill everyone. I was the first. R-Rory was the second. I need you to leave and go back to our apartment. I want you to m-move on. Be happy because y-you deserve it."
"But you're still here." He reached out to touch me, but I shook my head, again. It was best if we didn't try. "How can I leave when I know you're here? Will you be able to go with me?"
I looked back at Edward who gave me a slight shake of his head.
"I can't, but I shouldn't either way. I don't want to haunt you. Please, just leave. All I want is for you to be safe. That would make me happiest," I begged him.
He let out a shaky breath. "Okay. I'll leave, but I'll never forget you."
AUTHOR'S NOTE
Spoilers at the very bottom of this page regarding apocalypse. There will be several page breaks and warning before you reach that point.
Thank you Vivi H88, Brookie Twiling, guests (Guestx3, anonymouscsifan, Guest) for reviewing!
Guest: Haha! No worries about posting three times! It was funny when I got the notifications. Edward and Rory look alike, similar to how James and Kyle look alike :P Teehee… And how Madi looks like Madi.
Vivi H88: Thank you so much!
anonymouscsifan: Those nurses are nasty! Whew… I wonder how Audrey will react if/when she sees Edward. Teehee… I FINALLY FINISHED WATCHING APOCALYPSE! I'm sorry how long it took me, but… I have so much I want to say about it. Lots of frustration. I'll do the blurb at the very bottom of this to avoid spoiling anyone who hasn't watched it, yet (probably no one since I waited so long).
Brookie Twiling: Edward, his wife, and Guinness all had some sexy times together. I would take everything that I wrote about the past as the full truth and then anything Edward says with a grain of salt. Uuuuh… I meant 'man' instead of 'many' Eek! I hate it when my typos are real words.. Eek… Also, don't feel pressured that you have to edit my work. I really appreciate it, but the stress shouldn't be on you at all. Hehe… Is there a particular pairing you're waiting for? Also, I haven't heard 'Finding You' before. Time to YouTube it!
Guest: Gonna be lots of drama coming!
Thank you as well to everyone who has favourited and followed this story!
Please, leave a review if you enjoyed this!
SPOILER ALERT
….
….
….
….
….
….
….
….
….
….
….
….
….
….
….
….
….
….
….
….
….
….
….
….
….
….
….
….
….
….
….
….
….
….
….
….
….
….
….
….
….
….
….
….
….
….
….
….
….
….
….
….
….
….
….
….
….
SPOILER ALERT
Soo… I finally finished watching Apocalypse and I was really disappointed. I would never call this season Apocalypse. It was basically the nuclear beginning, a few days in the Outpost and then just flashbacks after flashbacks. Maybe it's because I've seen a lot of apocalyptic/post-apocalyptic shows and movies. The name of the season made me so excited, but the content was just… no…
I loved the beginning because it was a great set up for what I thought was to come. Instead, it set up nothing but flashbacks. It was nice to see some of Michael's past, but it didn't move the plot for me. And basically those flashbacks went all the way to the last episode and a very abrupt ending. So haha Cordelia kills herself and suddenly Mallory just uses all her power to turn back time in a very unimpressive way as if nothing happened. It felt so cheap. It seemed like they had an epic final battle coming up. What happened? Why did they just opt out?!
Also the very last scene with the kid… That does make me wonder what it meant and whether they'll expand it like they did with Michael or would everything literally just repeat itself over and over and over again? Did anything from this season mean anything at all?
Aside from that, I had a very personal problem of not knowing where Madi would go if I decide to thrust her into the story. In Vision, I had decided not to make Tate into a rapist, so… Michael will have to come from elsewhere… Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
There's so much more I have to say, but my thoughts are always a scattered mess. I'll end it here before it becomes a story of my grievances.