~ Forks, Washington - September 04, 2004 ~
Emmett and Jasper had to push me out onto the back patio. I desperately wanted to stay with Bella, but my family wouldn't allow it.
"Come on, man! You know you can hear everything just fine from out here." Emmett said as he led me outside.
"He's right, plus with your gift it will be like you're in the room." Jasper added as he slapped me on the shoulder.
I knew all of this, but I wanted to be there for Bella.
"Sit down, Edward," Carlisle told me. "None of us…"
"Not even I," Jasper added.
"…know what Alice has planned." Carlisle continued. "But she must have seen the outcome and has decided this is the best avenue to take. It'll be okay, son."
I nodded to Carlisle, but I couldn't hide the look of despair on my face. My Bella had already been put through too much because of me and my family. How much more could I realistically expect her to take?
Jasper lowered himself so that we were at eye level. "Edward, you know my gift cannot directly see a mating bond, but my experience has been that the intense emotions flowing between mates is unique. I can tell you, and you can see from my thoughts, what she feels for you is just as strong as any vampire-to-vampire mating bond. She may not like what she hears, but she will find a way to accept it."
I read Jasper's thoughts. In them I saw the purity and strength of the love flowing between Bella and I. There was very little difference between us and any other mated couple Jasper had encountered. In fact, our connection seemed to be stronger than most.
"Thank you." I replied. "I'm just worried."
"Of course you are," Carlisle added. "She's your mate."
I watched through my family's thoughts as Alice arranged everyone in the family room. Esme had brought Bella a glass of lemonade and some chocolate chip cookies. It was the first time since Esme was human that she tried making them. Bella took a bite and smiled in appreciation, before she quickly ate the rest of the cookie. Esme beamed with pride that she was able to make something not only edible, but also delicious after decades of cooking abstinence.
Once everyone was seated around Bella, Alice started. "Bella, I want to tell you a little bit about my gift," she said. Alice then spent the next few minutes explaining how her gift worked, including its limitations and how Alice had learned to maneuver around them. She openly admitted to using her gift to interfere with all of our lives when her visions were troublesome.
"I started seeing visions of Edward with a mate in January of 1987," Alice told the group. The thoughts of my family were incredulous. None of them knew how far back this went. It was becoming clear Alice was not only spilling her secrets to Bella, but my family and I. "You were born in September of that year, right?" Alice asked Bella.
"I was. September thirteenth, to be exact." Bella replied.
Rose and Esme both gasped. "That was the day Edward left the family," Alice explained to Bella.
Bella looked around with in confusion. "Almost seventeen years ago, on the day you were born, Edward left the family to be on his own." Alice said in a sad voice. "His main reason was he was tired of being the only un-mated vampire in the family, but he also needed to work through some of his own personal demons. His journey apart from the family took over sixteen years. Don't worry…I'm not going to go through all of his time away. Far from it, actually. So he can fill you in on what I don't cover."
Bella took a nervous sip from her lemonade. From Alice's thoughts I could see that she looked sad.
"So let me start with the fall of 1994," Alice said. "I started seeing different visions of Edward's future. In some he had found you. In others he hadn't. I focused on the ones where he did find you. But every time he came across you, he had to deal with another issue besides the whole mating thing. You see, besides being his mate you're also his singer."
"Singer? But I'm a terrible singer!" Bella said in obvious confusion. Esme and Rose each resisted from laughing at Bella's statement.
"Let me explain," Alice replied.
From there, Alice went on to explain what a vampire's singer was. She talked about Emmett and Garrett's experiences once they found and killed their respective singers. Upon the introduction of Garrett into the story, Alice launched into sending me to Phoenix with Garrett. She explained that it would be best for Bella and I if our first meeting happened when she was young. So young, that I would struggle more with the taking of a human child's life, and that my reluctance would allow our mating bond to subtly take hold. Since we had never actually met during that time, it would've been impossible for me to see the signs of our mating.
Alice explained that after my first exposure to Bella, I became very protective of her. Part of it was because I felt bad for nearly killing her, but most of my need to protect her was because she was my mate. She explained how I assisted the police in cleaning up Phoenix of dangerous criminals. Luckily she left out the part when creepily peered into the windows of Bella's house in an attempt to check on her.
Alice then went on to explain the events of 1999, specifically when she saw the three nomad vampires passing through Phoenix. Bella was told how I had been visiting Phoenix and I decided to help the police improve their crime statistics again. One of the nomads was a tracker and he would've easily picked up my scent in Bella's neighborhood. Given the risk this could've put Bella in, Alice explained how I intercepted them in Santa Fe, with an original plan to divert them away, but because of a previously unknown vendetta against Alice, they were destroyed by Edward and the other Cullen children. Alice was sure to tell Bella that we did that because of the previous unknown history Alice had with James, the leader, and not because of Bella. Alice promised to tell her more of that story at later time.
"At that point," Alice continued, "Edward decided it would be best to stay away from Phoenix. He was worried that the risk his presence created, outweighed anything else. The next time Edward encountered you was when he saw you in your dad's thoughts."
Alice paused. She knew Bella wanted to ask a question or two.
"Can I ask a question?" Bella inquired.
"Of course," Alice replied.
"Does my blood still cause Edward the discomfort and painful thirst it did when I was a kid?" Bella asked quietly. "I don't want him to suffer to be around me." Bella reached up and wiped a tear from the corner of her eye.
I quickly stood but Emmett's heavy hand pushed me back down.
"I know you want to go to her and comfort her," he told me in his thoughts. "But you need to let the girls deal with this."
"No, Bella," Alice answered. "He was worried about it, especially once your dad asked Edward to pick you up from the airport. That was why Emmett and Rose were with him that day. They ghosted you two the entire way home. However, by the time the ferry ride had ended, Edward understood you were his mate. Once he accepted this, your blood no longer sang to him."
Bella sat in silence, thinking over what had been said. After a few minutes she looked towards Rose. "But that doesn't explain about you and the dance school," Bella said to Rose.
"I know," Rose answered.
"Before I let Rose pickup telling you about her involvement, I should tell you that we met, although briefly." Alice told Bella. "My gift works best after I have met the person, face-to-face. So right after Edward first became aware of you in Phoenix, I paid you a quick visit. I rang your doorbell. You answered and I asked if I could speak to you mother. Those few seconds were all that I needed to start seeing you clearly in my visions without Edward being with you. And before you ask, you never saw my eyes. I had sunglasses on." Alice gave Bella a quick wink and smile. "Afterwards, Edward made me promise I wouldn't interfere, but he should've known I would never be able to truly keep that pledge. So that brings us back to Rose."
Rose took a needless breath before she spoke. "Bella, I hope you won't hate me after you hear my part of this story," Rose said. Bella's expression remained neutral, but it was easy to tell that she was apprehensive.
"After I was changed into a vampire I was not very nice person," Rose told her. "I was angry and upset over having my human life taken from me. I do think you deserve to know all of our stories, but I'll save that for another time. Let's just say I took a lot of my anger and resentment out on Edward. I wasn't shy about throwing Edwards's loneliness back at him. Making him feel miserable made me feel just a tiny bit better."
Bella glared at Rose. I could see from Rose's thoughts the angry set of Bella's brow and hear the increase in her heartbeat.
"Bella, I can see that what I said is making you angry, and it should. I was bitch…hell, I was much worse. My words and actions back then were despicable." Rose dropped her head in shame. She could not look Bella in eye as she said the next part. "Although he says otherwise, I firmly believe Edward left the family in large part due to my cruel treatment of him. The day he left I was especially hurtful. I had made sure that there was enough lust pouring off Emmett and I that the other two couples would need to go off and relieve their own sexual tension. Then I made sure my thoughts were very graphic and lewd, before mentally telling Edward he should just take his sad, lonely ass and leave so we could all enjoy ourselves."
The growing tears in Bella's eyes overflowed as she started to cry. Esme rushed over to her and pulled her into a hug. The devastated look on Bella's face, coupled with the memory of those times was excruciating. My grip on my chaired tightened until I pulverize the wood into dust.
"Edward, I have her. You stay put." Esme said in her thoughts as she attempted to soothe Bella.
"Why?" Bella asked repeatedly between sobs.
Carlisle placed a hand on my shoulder to ease my own trembling. "I never knew it was so bad for you, son. I am so sorry." Carlisle thought.
After a couple of long seconds, Rose finally continued speaking. "Bella, I am no longer that person. After Edward left, I directed my anger and growing guilt towards other family members. Eventually, Esme gave me an ultimatum. Either I reform my ways or leave. After some much needed soul searching, I eventually let go of my hate and anger. I then wanted to make amends for my decades of being a bitch. Edward wasn't coming back, so when Alice told me she saw you quitting your dance lessons, I saw it as an opportunity to help you out, and by extension, Edward as well. I loved dancing when I was human, and I love it even more now. It has always made me feel powerful and graceful. I wanted to give you some of that, so I arranged to meet with you and offer up the chance to try another dance school. One that I knew had the best teachers and attitude. So you did meet me. I am flattered that you thought I was beautiful enough for you to honor me in your coloring books. Although, right now you probably wished you hadn't."
Rose got up and kneeled in front of Bella and Esme. "Bella, Edward has been gracious enough to forgive me for the way I treated him. As his mate, I can't expect you to just be able to put aside the hurt I caused him. I just hope that someday you can forgive me too, because I really want us to be friends."
Bella wiped away another stray tear. "Rose, I hate that Edward has been hurt by anybody. I haven't known Edward very long, but it doesn't surprise me that he is very forgiving. I know he loves you all very much. I guess what I am trying to say, is that if Edward has forgiven you, that is what's important to me." Bella gave Rose a soft smile. "I would like us to be friends."
Rose leaned in and gave Bella a hug and whispered her thanks. After they pulled apart, Rose settled back in her chair.
"Actually, I should be thanking you," Bella told Rose. "I did enjoy my dance lessons at the new school. Although I no longer study it, I still enjoy dancing, especially with Edward." Bella blushed at her admission.
"Well, I'm very glad." Rose replied.
"Since we are confessing our interference in your life, I have a few of my own," Esme told Bella. "Alice saw that you loved books, so Rose and I may have made some donations and pulled some strings to get a bookmobile for your neighborhood in Phoenix."
"I loved the bookmobile!" Bella exclaimed. "Every Tuesday, Mom and I would walk down to it and pick out a couple of books for the next week."
"And there were a couple of other things we did," Esme added. "But maybe it's best we just leave them unknown. We never knew you were Edward's mate, but we knew he felt very protective of you so we wanted to help in some small ways."
Bella took a sip of her drink. As a thought came to her she raised her eyebrow in suspicion. "Was your family responsible for sending my dad the invitation to the father-daughter dance in elementary school?"
"We were," Alice replied. "Does that upset you?"
"No. But it helps explain what happened." Bella paused briefly. "Over the years I received a few scholarships and grants for camps and workshops, was that your family as well?"
"It was," Esme answered this time. "But Bella, we never influenced your chances on achieving entrance to those programs. You did so on you own merit and talent. We just helped out on the logistics after the fact."
Bella nodded before reflecting some more on the conversation. "Alice, how much of the past few weeks have you seen in your visions?" she finally asked.
"A lot, but not everything," Alice simply replied. "Given Edward's gift of mind reading, I thought it best if I stayed away. You two needed to work through things on your own. Interference, even if it were accidental, would have changed some things. In the end, you both figured everything out on your own and in your own time."
Bella pulled on her bottom lip with her teeth as she looked sheepishly towards Alice. "Have you seen what the future holds for Edward and I?"
"I've had visions, yes." Alice answered with a sly smile, while in her thoughts she recited verses from Hamlet in Gaelic. "Some I know will not come true. Others I hope will come true. Is there something you want to know?"
Bella thought for moment before shaking her head. "No. At least not today. I've had my fill of fortune telling for right now. I was just curious."
"Bella, are you upset over what you heard, or upset with our meddling?" Alice asked quietly.
Bella thought for a moment. "I don't like the idea that my life was not my own to live. However, It seems that Edward and I have been destined to meet. Is that fair to say?"
"It is, but not all my visions about you two were happy ones," Alice answered. "Plus, everyday decisions can change my visions…they're always in flux. Take for example when Edward decided to leave the family. I never saw that coming because he never contemplated it until he just did it. Any vision I had of our family, or him, or even you, changed after he did that. The future I had seen could never be recovered after that, as new visions came to me. I know Edward understands how erratic my gift can be because of his ability to read my thoughts, but I really don't think the rest of the family truly understands."
"But you had enough faith in them to engage in some meddling." Bella said a bit tersely.
"I did," Alice replied with sad smile. She understood Bella's point. Why interfere if the visions are unstable. "And my meddling has not always been successful." Alice glanced around at Rose and Esme to gauge their reaction. Alice buried her mistakes deep within her so even I had a problem seeing them. "Bella, the trap of my gift is that I can't see beyond a decision point. I can manipulate decisions somewhat, like when I directed Edward to go to Phoenix, but that causes things to get very hazy until he actually does the act or makes the decision. Until that point, I can only see fragments of dozens, sometimes even thousands of outcomes. Then afterwards, all new visions come to me and it starts all over again. Luckily, I have learned to filter the visions so I don't spend all my time viewing what the future could hold. If I allowed all of the visions to surface into my consciousness, I would barely be able to function."
Alice shook her head as she thought about what it must've been like during her human life. Without having the mental facilities vampirism granted her, it was no wonder her parents committed her to a mental institution. She wouldn't have had any way to shut off the constant stream of visions, and she probably couldn't differentiate the visions from reality, either. Alice was glad she couldn't remember that time of her existence, because it sounded like a living hell to her.
"I have also learned to test the strength of my visions by playing a little 'what if' with them. More certain visions rarely change when I try to figure out ways to manipulate them. I want you to know that I only step in and change things when I think it is truly safe to do so, or when the benefits will far outweigh any other outcome. I want all my family to know that."
Bella sighed as she looked over at my family. "I am not really upset over the meddling. I can see the benefits it had. Thank you for being my fairy god mothers." Bella told them all, before she looked directly at Alice. "However, I don't want to know anything about the visions you may have had before. I am happy with the way things have turned out. Obviously, if you see that something bad is going to happen, I want to be told, but no more fine tuning of my future. I want to experience and direct my life, even if portions of it seem to be driven by some supernatural calling."
Alice smiled at Bella before wrapping her in a hug. "I'm so glad this conversation turned out this way! You don't even want to know what could've happened."
Bella pulled away and gave Alice a reprimanding look.
"Sorry," Alice quipped. "Old habits die hard, you know."
The women all stood. Esme and Rose each gave Bella hug. I saw this as my signal that I could go back and fetch my mate. In a blink of an eye I was standing next to Bella, who jumped at my sudden presence.
"Are you okay, Love?" I asked.
"I think so, but I need to get some food in me, and then I would like to go listen to some music in your library, okay?" Bella's stomach grumbled causing Esme, Alice and Rose to all giggle.
"Yes, that is more than okay," I replied as I kissed her forehead.
Author's Note:
Thank you, thank you, thank you! 235+ reviews! 10,600+ views! For some of the mega-authors out there in the fandom these numbers may be what a single chapter may do, but for me, I am amazed and humbled by your response to this story. Have a wonderful weekend!
-Chris