A/N: For those of you who waited for a new take...
I'm sorry.
My brains' completely dead, and several school projects had taken over my life. Not to mention that this time all the takes were made by myself. I promise, I'll try harder the next take: I personally think these suck. But yeah, only time will tell.
And now...ENJOY THE BLOOPERS! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !
*In Sugar Rush, where Ralph has just been slapped in the face by Calhoun…*
Ralph: *Rubbing his cheek* OW!
Calhoun: Hope you're happy, junkpile. This game's going down, and it's all your fault!
Felix: My lady, you came back!
Calhoun: Can it, Fix-it! *turning to Ralph once more* That cy-bug you brought with you multiplied!
Ralph: *standing up* Nah. It died in the taffy swamp. Believe me, I…*trails off*
*The three whip their heads back, expecting a whole swarm of cy-bugs to burst out of the ground behind him. They wait, and wait…*
Ralph: *tries to restart* I…
*Still no cy-bugs appear. The crew starts laughing*
Calhoun: HEY, WHERE ARE THEY?! THEY MISSED THEIR CUE! ! ! !
Director Moore: Well, maybe the door just…
*Director Moore gets cut off as the expected swarm finally bursts out of the ground near the Ralph, Felix and Calhoun*
Calhoun: YOU'RE LATE, YOU KNOW?! WE ALREADY SAID OUR LINES! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !
*The cy-bugs look at each other, confused. Some seem to be shaking their heads*
Director Moore: You know what, let's do this again later…CUT! *turns and addresses the cy-bugs* Um…yeah, you guys can go back now.
[Ralph and Markowski-Take 4]
*In Tapper's, where Ralph has just finished rummaging through the contents of the 'Lost and Found' box*
Ralph: *sighs* What am I doing?
*Ralph continues to look down, and seconds later, Markowski bumps hard into him while continuing to walk down the hallway behind Ralph*
Ralph: *turning to hallway* Hey! Excuse you!
Markowski: *Ignoring Ralph* We are humanity's last hope…Our mission: to destroy all cy-bugs…We are…
*Markowski walks into the wall…and the hallway collapses down on all sides, revealing crew members and some of the cast, in modern day clothes, behind the walls. Markowski steps on the fallen wall in front of him and continues walking, while mumbling at the same time*
*Ralph and all the others burst into hysterical laughter*
Ralph: *In mock despair* COME BACK, MARKOWSKI! ! ! ! *laughs uncontrollably* I need a break; I think I need a break…
Director Moore: CUT!
*In Sugar Rush, where King Candy, in his cybrid form, is battling against Ralph in the climax*
King Candy: Come back here, little guy!
*Ralph runs across the top of the Mountain, avoiding King Candy's pincers. He slows and starts to pound the Mentos structure beneath him*
King Candy: HAVE. SOME. CANDY! ! ! !
*King Candy whacks Ralph in the chest and sends him flying backward…and off the mountain*
*Thump is heard*
Ralph: *flatly* Ow.
*King Candy and the crew start to laugh as the sky fades to green behind them. The camera rears up and reveals that the whole setup is simply a volcano-like top set on a green screen. Ralph is seen lying upside-down on the outside of the top*
King Candy: Sorry Ralph. Accidently knocked you off that thing…again.
Ralph: Never mind: I had it coming.
Director Moore: CUT!
[Felix jail-breaking—FAIL-Take 2]
Felix: *muttering* What's he say, what's he say…
Felix: *Raises fists, mimicking Ralph in a gruff voice* I'M GONNA WRECK IT!
*He holds up his Hammer and prepares to tap it on the bar…only he accidently loosens his grip and the Hammer falls out of the window*
Felix: *clutching the bars in mock agony while laughing with the rest of the crew* Sorry guys! I don't know what happened! Can…can someone really get me out now?!
Director Moore: Okay, CUT!
*In Sugar Rush, where King Candy tries to give his advice to Ralph*
King Candy: Ralph, do you know what the hardest part of being a king is? Doing what's right, no matter what.
Ralph: Get to the point.
King Candy: Point being…
*A VERY LOUD helicopter noise is heard overhead and King Candy is seen looking up, annoyed*
King Candy: *shouting*…I NEED SOMEONE TO STOP FLYING THAT CODEDARN HELICOPTER! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !
*Hysterical laughter from everyone*
King Candy: *looking up* HEY! ! ! DO YOU HEAR ME?! STOP IT! ! ! ! ! ! !
Director Moore: Okay…*interrupted by another noisy helicopter*
*Laughter is heard once more*
Director Moore: *shouting loudly* OKAY, CUT!
*In Sugar Rush, where Ralph's medal has been stolen by Vanellope*
Ralph: That thing is my ticket to a better life!
Vanellope: Well, now it's my ticket! *glitching wildly*
Ralph: What the…
Someone, not seen on camera: ****! (A certain swear word)
Ralph: VANELLOPE! ! ! ! You cannot curse in a Disney Movie! We both know that! No swearing or cursing anymore! There! I said it!
Vanellope: Well, you can't stop me, Stinkbrain, can you? Can you?
Director Moore: *laughing very hard* Nope, he can't; but I can! ! ! CUT! And make sure that word gets censored! ! ! !
Vanellope: NO FAIR, RICH! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! *laughing*
Director Moore: IT IS FAIR ENOUGH. END OF STORY! PERIOD! ! !
*In Sugar Rush, where King Candy has finally revealed his true form to Vanellope…and the rest of the people watching*
Vanellope: *afraid* What the-WHO ARE YOU?!
Turbo: I'm Turbo! The greatest racer-whoa! *The karts are going at such a speed that Turbo fails to stand properly on top of his kart and falls backward. Cue laughter from everyone, including Vanellope*
Vanellope: Okay, okay. Let me try to help you up. Do you think you're able to try again?
Turbo: Sure yeah, Van. Let's go again, Rich!
[Take 2]
Turbo: *overdramatically* I'm Turbo, the greatest racer ever! And I did not reprogram this world to let you… *his voice gets drowned out as Vanellope and the entire crew break down into laughter*
Vanellope: *sarcastically* I can really see that fire in your eyes: it's beautiful.
*Turbo joins in laughing*
Turbo: Come on, if I'm not imitating enough, how can I scare the kids out of the theaters? I wanna see them screaming "Mommy! Why did I choose to watch this?! WHY?!" That's the only way I'm gonna do it!
Vanellope: I know. I know. That's why I said it is beautiful.
*Turbo continues to laugh, then falls backward off the kart*
Director Moore: CUT! *continues laughing until the camera clicks off*
*In Sugar Rush, after the cy-bugs had been killed by the beacon Ralph made*
Felix: *happily* You did it, Ralph! Oh, way to go brother! *chuckles happily*
*Happy, Felix hops up to kiss Calhoun's cheek…only his lips never reach her cheek. As a reflex action, her right fist rears up and punches Felix straight in the face, causing him to fall backward…and possibly off the Rainbow Bridge that they're standing on, all with a disgusted look on her face*
*Thump is heard*
Felix: *weakly* Ow.
*Cue everyone, Ralph and Vanellope included, breaking down into laughter. However, Calhoun looks very confused, as if she didn't know what is going on*
Director Moore: Tammy, he's supposed to kiss you. And you…you just knocked him off like you just don't care!
Calhoun: *surprised* Wait what, really? I am really supposed to let him do that?
Director Moore: *bluntly* Yes.
Calhoun: *starting to laugh herself* Sorry, Felix. I didn't mean to do that to you, I really didn't…*bends down out of sight*
Director Moore: CUT!
*In Sugar Rush, where Ralph and Vanellope are escaping from King Candy and his henchmen*
Vanellope: Drive into the wall!
Ralph: WHAT?!
Vanellope: *pointing* Right there! Between the two sugar-free lollipops!
Ralph: ARE YOU CRAZY?!
Vanellope: JUST DO IT! ! ! ! ! ! !
*Ralph steers the kart to the place where Vanellope had pointed out, and screams as he braces himself. It's a good thing he did that…as instead of entering a secret doorway, the kart slams straight into the wall, causing it to break and Vanellope and Ralph to fly out and crash into the wall, and then fall backwards onto the ground: HARD*
Ralph: *growling* Vanellope?! *turns his face to the camera, revealing that he has a bloody nose caused by the crash*
Vanellope: *frantic* I DIDN'T DO IT! ! ! ! ! GLOYD?! IS THIS YOUR DOING? *clutching her head in pain*
*By now King Candy and his henchmen had reached the two and started to help them onto their feet. Medics are seen running to the said scene as well*
Director Moore:*clears throat* Gloyd Orangeboar, listen up: if this is really your doing, you better refrain from doing it again. AND I MEAN IT! Someone's really hurt this time! CUT!
*In Game Central Station, where is giving Ralph a 'Random' Security Check*
Surge Protector: Anything to declare?
Ralph: Yeah, you suck. And you stink.
*Both characters look at each other for a moment…then break down laughing*
Surge Protector: That's…that's actually a good one, Ralph.
Ralph: I know, right? *grinning widely towards the camera*
Director Moore: CUT!
*In Sugar Rush, where Felix is seen in front of King Candy's castle*
*Felix knocks on door*
Sour Bill: Yes?
Felix: *glances down, surprised* Oh. I'm Fix-it Felix jr., from the game Fix-it Felix jr.. Have you seen my friend, Ralph?
Sour Bill: Wreck-it Ralph?
Felix: Yes! Yes! That's him!
Sour Bill: Should have locked him up when we had the chance.
Felix: Locked him up?!
Sour Bill: Not making the same mistake with you. *Leans over to pull a rope*
*Both await the trapdoor under Felix to open…but it never does. Felix jumps up and down lightly on the door, but it stays put.*
Sour Bill: *pulling harder while muttering at the same time* This doesn't make sense. Why isn't it working?
Felix: Maybe…maybe we'll just need to wait a whiIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII! ! ! ! ! ! ! !
*Felix's word turns into a scream as the trapdoor suddenly activates and he falls down out of sight*
Director Moore: *sighs* CUT!
A/N: ANNNNNNNNNND...CUT! GOOD TAKE!