~ Edward and Bella's Cabin, Alaska - September 13, 2005 ~
"Is there anything you would like to do for your birthday?" I asked Bella while we both sat on a ridge looking out over the Alaskan mountains.
Bella snuggled in closer to me and sighed. "Nope. This is perfect. Best birthday ever."
I wrapped my arm around her and resumed looking at the wilderness. She was right, this was perfect. Over the past two months, she had taken to immortality better than anyone could have expected. Charlie still battled with newborn issues, but Bella's improvement over the past month was impressive. She still occasionally struggled, but most days were like today, where she was able to stay relaxed and focused.
Bella reached up and threaded her fingers with mine. I immediately felt myself being sucked into her shield. I loved when she did this. It was intimate and gave us both a way to be connected to one another.
"I love you, Edward," she said in her thoughts. I knew it took a lot of effort for her to completely open up her mind to me, so I cherished every time she did it. I sighed and focused on the sublime feeling of being inside her shield.
"I love you, too," I whispered back.
"I also love how much more of the world I can experience," she said vocally. "I was missing so much as a human. Now, it's like I am living for the first time."
I felt like I was living for the first time as well.
"The colors are richer," she continued. "The smells are so much more complex. It's all just so wonderful. The only thing I miss is sleeping. Well, not really sleeping, but dreaming."
"Dreaming, huh?" I asked as I tried to remember what it felt like to dream. I have of course seen the thoughts of humans while they dreamed, but I largely forgot what the emotional side of it was like.
"Yeah, I miss the randomness of it. My new mind seems to process and makes sense of so much more. I kind of miss those few moments just after you wake up, when you are stuck halfway between the dream and reality, and nothing makes sense."
I thought back to my time in Volterra, specifically when I came out of Alec's mind numbing fog. To shake off the unsettled and melancholy feeling this memory caused, I relaxed and allowed myself to mentally fall further into Bella's shield. I wanted…no needed…to get even closer to her. So I reached out to her very essence.
Thinking of waking up as a helpless passenger speeding away from Volterra, I hated the feeling of uncertainty and not knowing what made sense. I was scared that the half-conscious limbo I found myself in meant I had died and I would never see Bella again. If coming out of a human dream was like what I experienced in Italy, then I was glad I could not dream.
"I am sorry you had to go through that, Edward." Bella said while shaking her head. "I hate to think what could have happened to you while you were so vulnerable in Volterra."
"Bella?" I said as I jolted upright. My sudden movement surprised Bella and her shield snapped back into place. I looked at her for a long moment trying to understand what just happened. "You heard what I thought?"
"You thought that?" She replied. "I thought you whispered it."
"No, it wasn't whispered. I was revisiting a memory."
Eleazar once wondered if I could evolve my gift so I could push my thoughts to others, rather than just hearing everyone's thoughts. I never gave it much credence, until this moment. "Bella, I would like to try something, if you are okay with it."
"Of course," Bella replied before opening her shield and pulling me inside of it. "You have no idea how much I would love to hear your thoughts for change," she finished in thought.
The glorious feeling of being inside Bella's shield enveloped me. I lowered my forehead to hers and closed my eyes. I relaxed and pictured myself falling deeper into Bella's mind. It was like I was trying to have her soul touch mine.
"If I could dream, sweet Bella, they would all be of you," I said mentally.
Bella gasped, but did not break contact with me or close her shield. "I used to dream of you all of the time, Edward. Now I get to live the dream." Bella replied in thought. "This feels amazing! Tell me something else."
"I use to hate the idea of eternity," I mentally told her. "Although I enjoyed being with my family, all I could I see was a future of being alone. I was not in a good place. Then, the day you were born, I was reborn as well. I left to go find myself and make peace with my new existence. Then one day, while standing in the Seattle Airport, I looked into your eyes and all of that changed. Now, I know that only eternity will be long enough to properly show you how much I love you."
"I love you too, Edward. So very much." Bella replied. "I agree that eternity may be just long enough to love you as well."
Keeping the deep connection with Bella was not easy, but it also felt natural. Now that I knew what to do, I was sure with some practice I could manage to keep this up for more than a few moments.
"You never had a problem keeping it up before," Bella mentally teased, before she flooded me with several sultry thoughts. The instant my libido reacted to Bella's wonderfully erotic images, she flipped me over onto my back and kissed me senseless.
"Kind of brings a new meaning to dirty talk," Bella thought as she started to peel the clothes from my body.
"I love your dirty little thoughts, love." I mentally replied before I started to return the favor and undress Bella. There would be time later to explore and figure out the limitations of our new way of communicating.
"Yes, much later," Bella added.
We kept our two-way connection going through most of our love making. It was intimate and stimulating, and I looked forward to repeat performances. Now Bella and I were walking hand-in-hand back to our cabin.
"You may be very prim and proper on the outside, Edward," Bella said nudging me with her shoulder. "But during sex your thoughts are downright dirty. Actually, shockingly filthy!"
I stopped and looked at Bella with a frown. "I'm sorry, love. I never meant to be disrespectful or offensive." I looked away from Bella and shook my head. "I've spent eighty-eight years listening to other people thoughts. You would think I would know to control what passes through my mind once the tables were turned."
"Edward, look at me."
I slowly looked back towards Bella. She gave me a sad smile as she reached up to cup my cheek. Upon her touch, I was pulled into her shield until we could both hear each other's mind.
"You did not offend me, Edward, and I did not mean to make you feel bad. I was just teasing you a bit. I loved hearing all of your wickedly erotic thoughts. You know I did! They drove me wild! Plus, you've heard my thoughts during sex. I can be just as dirty." Bella caressed my cheek and smiled. "Edward, you have told me to never apologize for my thoughts. You need to do the same."
I looked at Bella and saw nothing but sincerity in her eyes.
"Of course I'm being sincere!" Bella said as she swatted my arm playfully before turning serious. "If we are going to share our thoughts, we both need to stop apologizing for what we think. This is a special gift we get to share. I promise to let you know if something you're thinking offends or upsets me. If you promise the same, then we should be able to enjoy this new level of closeness."
I sighed and nodded my head. Bella was right. This was a gift and we should enjoy it.
"I know I'm right!" Bella replied before giggling at me and my inability to grasp that she could read my mental musings. "How the tables have indeed turned! I like it!"
I shook me head and laughed at the irony this new gift of ours had ushered in. The tables have been turned and I was getting a dose of my own mind-reading medicine.
Once we reached our cabin, Bella sniffed the air and cocked her brow in confusion. "Were we expecting Carlisle and Esme?" She asked.
"No, love. They were just dropping off a little surprise for you."
Bella stopped and grabbed my arm. "Edward, I thought we agreed that there would be no gifts this birthday."
"Yes, you and I agreed that there would be no gifts, but Esme didn't. She wanted to get you something you have been missing, at least for the last couple of months." I opened the cabin door and motioned for Bella to enter. "Come on, love. I promise you'll like this."
Bella scowled as she walked by me, mumbling about Esme having no respect for her wishes. Inside, on the coffee table, sat a box expertly wrapped in festive "Happy Birthday" paper.
"You realize, whatever is inside I will probably break," she told me, before she picked up the gift and lightly shook it. After she was satisfied that it did not seem like something fragile, she tore the wrapping paper off.
Bella looked at the cardboard box and smiled. "Is this what I think it is?"
"Open the lid to find out, love." I told her.
She hesitated a brief movement before she carefully opened the lid. Upon seeing the new black Converse Chucks, Bella squealed in delight. "Oh my god! I have missed these so much!"
Bella pulled one of the shoes from the box and ran her hand over it lovingly. She gingerly grasped the shoelace between her fingers before she stopped and looked up at me.
"These feel different, Edward. They look like Chucks but something is off."
I walked over and took the other shoe from the box and held it up in the air. "Esme, with Alice's help of course, had these custom made for you, love. The canvas has been reinforced with kevlar threads and the shoelace grommets are titanium. The shoelaces also have been reinforced and the sole is made out of tougher material that should hold up better while you're running."
Bella sat down and slipped off her current hiking boots. She carefully spread the shoe open and slide in onto foot. She paused for a moment and glanced up at me. I nodded for her to continue so she gently puled on the laces and tied a perfect knot.
"Wow!" Bella exclaimed. She was clearly happy that she was able to tie the shoe without destroying it. "These are great! Where did she get these?"
"As you have heard, Alice has a lot of contacts in the fashion industry. So, Esme worked with Alice to have Converse make you six pairs of these."
"Really!" Bella exclaimed as she looked around for the other shoes. I handed her the second shoe and nodded.
"I believe the rest are upstairs," I replied. Bella glanced up towards the bedroom and smiled before she put on the remaining shoe. She then stood up and admired her birthday gift.
"Love, as I've told you before, our family is extremely hard on clothes. Shoes in particular. When I told Esme you destroyed you favorite pair of Chucks, she knew exactly what to have made. I believe she also had some custom shoes made for Charlie as well." Bella puled her gaze away from her shoes and gave me a questioning look. "Yeah, Irina told me your dad destroyed a few pairs as well. It happens. In fact, given our strength and the speed at which we can run, we all have some custom shoes that have been engineered with durability in mind. Even some of Rose's and Alice's heals have been upgraded."
Bella flexed her toes and lifted herself up on the balls of feet. "I love them! I can't wait to thank Esme. These are perfect. Perhaps I can get her to find me some stronger jeans and hoodies as well."
I looked away so Bella would not see my guilty smirk. Little did Bella know that besides the extra five pairs of shoes upstairs, Esme also restocked Bella's decimated collection of comfort clothes. Many of which did have newborn-friendly durability upgrades.
Author's Notes...
Hello! I am sorry about the delay in getting this chapter published. Lots of work related deliverables popped up that I needed to get them done.
I am SOOOOO excited to announce that Only The Lonely has been nominated within the "Favorite Drop Everything Fic" category of the TwiFic Fandom Awards! I am humbled and honored by this nomination. I promise to not make a habit of asking this, but please visit the TwiFic Fandom Awards web site and vote for your favorites. twificfandomawards . blogspot p
Thank you for reading and reviewing. On Friday we'll see what happens when Bella has her first human encounter...yikes!
-Chris