Chapter 53

"Darlin," He breathed when the kiss broke, his forehead pressed to hers. "I'm sorry… but this is all or nothing for me." Mark already knew he wasn't strong enough, not like she was. "I can't be alive, with you refusing to be with me… that's just a slower death." He traced her bottom lip with his thumb, kissing the corner of her mouth. "I've been working on this all month, Brooklynn, I'm not finished yet… I'm 80% sure it's going to work." His thumb moved to her cheek, wiping away tears. "You have to trust me, I know it's damn near impossible asking you that, right now, with him still upstairs, but try."

"I DO trust you…it's HIM I don't trust and you're only 80% sure. That means there's a 20% chance it DOESN'T and you die. Please Mark, let me go with you to do this then. Let me be there with you when this goes down." When he shook his head again, she cried harder, burying her face in the crook of his neck. Slowly, he set her down until her feet hit concrete, prying her arms from around his neck to hold her hands, to keep her standing in front of him. "I-I won't do it…I won't c-cross you over if this doesn't go your way." Brooklynn wiped her tears away somewhat angrily and wrapped her arms around herself, hating how her emotions had somewhat exploded. Mark always had such an intense effect on her from the day she met him, whether he was Taker or Mark. "When are you planning on merging?"

Despite everything, he was starting to laugh his ass off. It wasn't funny, not really, and Mark knew he had to step away before she co-cocked him and she'd definitely be in the right to do it. "Darlin', you really think if I die, ol' Scratch himself ain't going to come to drag my ass down?" He wouldn't have to worry about crossing over, he'd go straight to hell for his own sins and the Undertaker's. Oh yeah… definitely going to hell. "And not for another week, I promised Claira I'd take her out this weekend, see about finding her… well, we don't find, they find us, but we're going out to try to get her a Familiar."

"That is NOT funny and you know it. If you're redeemed, which you have been, despite your other evil half, you can STILL go into the light and find peace." Brooklynn fully believed he would go into the light when he died, but she hoped that time wasn't near. She also didn't appreciate being laughed at by her husband, scowling darkly. "Fine."

That meant, she had another week to wait around and see if she was losing Mark to death because of this ridiculous merging idea or if the merge would actually work. Taker was all about self-preservation and he wasn't being given a choice, so something told her he would fight this tooth and nail. It wasn't going to end well.

"Hopefully you don't find any kind of bird or…snake."

"Not us finding it, if there's one out there, and attracted to her spirit, it'll find her." Mark explained, knowing she was ticked at him. She could be. She was the one who had gone on about how she loved them being merged and all that. Now, here he was, offering it on a permanent basis, theoretically speaking, and she was pissed. He just couldn't please the woman. "I'm just hopin' it's something manageable that won't have to be hidden…"

Brooklynn wasn't pissed because of the merging, she was pissed it might very well KILL the love of her life! Mark never could read her correctly and always assumed things. Maybe now he'd get a glimpse of what she'd been feeling for the past 17 years – not feeling good enough or she was adequate for him since he didn't want to marry her until Taker's reemergence.

"I hope so too." She was also pissed and annoyed he was making a joke out of the fact he was sure he was going to hell when he died.

"Brooklynn, for once, let's get on the same page."

He sighed, taking a few steps back and dropped down onto the wooden bench Steve kept for bonfires. Mark reached into his breast pocket, pulling out a crumpled pack of black cigars, lighting one up. He had quit years ago, this felt like the time to take them back up.

"What the fuck do you want from me, woman? Because apparently, I'm horrible at reading you and then you get pissed off because I'm not a mind reader. I'm trying to do what you want, and I think I'm just pissing you off even more because you don't want to deal with consequences of what could happen."

"When the consequences are you DYING, you damn right I'm pissed about it! I'm annoyed and pissed off that you would JOKE about your demise, KNOWING what I have to go through with spirits. Because I know in my heart you're not going to hell when you die. You're going to find peace because you're a good man with a huge heart. Mark, I'm terrified you're going to lose that. I'm terrified you won't be the man I love, if this even works. I'm scared Taker is going to fight you every step of the way and, because his magic is stronger than yours, the merging will fail and you will die. This scares me more than anything else we've gone through." It had been a hell of a lot too. "Death is NOT a joking matter. I want you to get rid of him, but you're telling me there's only ONE option and…it terrifies me and when I'm terrified, I get pissed off, especially when I feel completely helpless." She looked down at her left hand, furrowing her brows together. "I also can't figure out why you only married me because of that bastard. I feel like…like I'm not good enough for you. I mean, if I was, you would've married me yourself, but something held you back all these years and it took Undertaker putting that thought in your head to go to Mexico. It tarnishes this marriage, it makes it a joke and it should've never happened. I should've…stopped and took a beat and realized what was going on sooner. I was so happy when you asked me that I jumped…and that's my problem. I jump too fast, I love too strongly, I wear my heart on my sleeve and now I'm paying for it because of what's happened. I just wish…I wish you would've wanted to marry me yourself and not because of him." Mark wanted to be on the same page, so Brooklynn gave him the cold, hard truth. "I've loved you for so long, and we've been through so much together, I was terrified if I mentioned marriage to you, even once, I would lose you. Because your only tie to me, at the time, was Claira. You could've up and left at any minute. I wanted to be tied to you in every way humanly and magically possible. I wanted your last name and to be rid of the Meyers name, especially after finding out what wretched parents I had. So, here's my question to you, and I want an honest answer, even if it hurts me – I want to know why. Why didn't YOU, yourself, want to marry me?"

"I'm a Warlock, Brooklynn, what the hell does marriage the way you wanted it even mean? I'm already Bound to you woman, through more than that legal shit. I've always been Bound to you. I never said I didn't want to marry you, thought just never crossed my mind because I always considered us beyond that. You don't wear your heart on your sleeve, if you did, I'd have known sooner because you would've opened your mouth and spoke up. You told Taker quite a bit, but never me. And as for him, he ain't going to protest anything because it's the only chance he has. He's stuck right now, and as long as I keep reinforcing it, he'll stay that way… for now. Seth comes back anytime soon, and then we're fucked."

"So, because you're a Warlock, you don't feel the need to marry the woman you love? Marriage to ME is two people interlocking their lives together and completing that transition from boyfriend and girlfriend to husband and wife. The name change is nice also. I bet Steve didn't think twice about marrying Trish and he has powers. She has powers. Mickie and John are married and she's a fucking Witch and he has powers too! You don't make any goddamn sense!" Brooklynn was irate now, standing up from the bench and tossed her hands in the air, the frustration flowing off her in powerful waves. "And I told Taker a lot of things because YOU DIDN'T BOTHER ASKING WHAT HE DID! You JUST said so yourself it never crossed your mind. THE FUCK IT DIDN'T! Steve and Glenn hounded you about marrying me for the first couple years after Claira was born! Just like the girls did to me! You're so full of fucking shit, Mark Calaway! Being a Warlock doesn't mean you shouldn't get married, what kind of fucked up logic is that?! You know what I think? I think you didn't want to marry me because you were scared of that type of commitment. You SETTLED…and that's one thing I know Taker was pissed about in this relationship. You held yourself back in the bedroom because you were afraid of reminding me of Undertaker and didn't even bother ASKING my opinion on it! At the very least, that son of a bitch was CURIOUS and actually WANTED to communicate and actually WANTED to marry me, despite the fact he's a Warlock same as you!" Brooklynn had to take a deep breath, not remembering the last time she lost her temper like this and could feel her face burning. "I'm done apologizing about Undertaker. Part of me isn't sorry because, for a minute, a moment, at least he made me feel like a woman again. He gave me what you refused because of your fear. And if that makes me a cold bitch to say that, so be it. I hate him for what he did with Seth Rollins, I hate him for betraying my trust and putting Claira in danger. I hate the fact THAT part of you I craved without realizing it because you refused to show me YOUR passion, until he actually surfaced. And at least he wanted to marry me and make me his completely instead of going by some stupid, bullshit law. And I HATE the fact I fell in love with him first and I STILL love him, despite all the bullshit he's put me and Claira and the circle through! But most of all – I hate the fact I felt more love, more passion, more need and want, and fire with him in those couple weeks he was back than in the 17 years with you. How's THAT for being on the same page, asshole?" Pulling her 'move', Brooklynn ran back into the house and up to her room, slamming the door so hard, the hinges nearly broke off. She started up the shower and stepped into the sprays before finally screaming at the top of her lungs, dropping to her backside on the shower floor and clutched her hair tightly in her hands.

After that explosion, Brooklynn stayed up late that night with a pint of ice cream and talked to Beth on the phone, since Trish and Steve were out on a date. Even after all these years, they still went on dates and it was adorable how Steve opened the car door for his woman. Beth was the only one who understood her, it seemed, since everybody else in the circle, besides Randy, who didn't talk to hardly anyone these days, sided with Mark.

"Wait a minute, he actually said because he's a Warlock, marriage never crossed his mind?"

"Basically."

"Wow." Beth was at a loss for words, shaking her head sadly. "Brooklynn, all I can tell you is…fuck, I don't even know anymore."

"Even if he does this merge, we have a lot of issues to work through before we even think about getting back together…and that's even if we both want to. He may be at his breaking point with me, especially after all the horrible things I said to him."

Brooklynn still couldn't believe half the things that came out of her mouth and realized just how much she had bottled up over the past 17 years. It had all came exploding out, literally, in one argument and Brooklynn also realized something else. Taker loved her far more than Mark ever did, at least that's how it was perceived to her.

"Marriage counseling is always a possibility."

"No, if we can't work these issues out ourselves, then we're not meant to be together." Brooklynn was firmly against therapists, counselors, mediators…any person in those professions because of how much she had to deal with them as a child/teenager, due to her gift. "And here's another thing, we haven't heard a PEEP from Seth Rollins since that day he outed Undertaker."

That was very unsettling. "Do you love Mark?"

"Yes."

"Do you regret marrying him?"

Brooklynn hesitated and closed her eyes, silent tears sliding down her cheeks. "Yes…only because of how it happened."

"Okay." Beth understood that.

"We'll just be removing these…" Taker hummed, busy drawing out some of the binding marks that had incorporated themselves up Mark's arms over the years.

A commitment apparently, to Brooklynn. Magical marriage, if Mark had said something to her about them, maybe things would have been different. Hell, Brooklynn had never even noticed them.

"Let's face it, she never wanted you. She just needed you to keep me in check… and with this merger, that's all you'll be. A way to keep me in check."

Mark was astral projecting from his own personal box in his own head. "You can have her."

He was done. He was done being torn down and shit on because he was expected to be everything she had apparently been missing in her life. She hated her name, she wanted his and it was no better. She wasn't satisfied with his lovemaking. And she thought that because everyone around them got married, they needed to as well. Brooklynn needed too much validation; she needed to be pet on the head, her hand held and for people to see her as something she wasn't. His. She wasn't his. She had never been if he were honest. They had danced around each other for years. Hell, she had seen Taker more than him, he knew that now… black roses… and if Taker hadn't scared the hell out of them all those long years ago, she would've chosen to be with the evil of the two.

"Probably." He frowned. "What's this one?"

"When we had Claira, leave that one alone."

"You love her?"

"More than she'll ever know."

"Well, when we're done… she'll have me, with your lovely little abilities to not commit mass murder."