Chapter 21
A world of expectations
Naoki felt a presence stand beside him so he had to raise his look from the book he had in his desk, to attend the tutor, who was waiting for his attention.
"How did you do in your exam, Irie?" Asked the teacher with his common circumspection, that made him look arrogant among the staff.
He sighed. The question was here.
"I didn't take it," he announced and saw with satisfaction that the teacher lost his composure before him, dropping the pen and paper in his hands, his mouth slightly open. His companions seemed to be attracted to that and turned in their direction, looking amazed to their stunned sensei and him. After all, the room was always quiet and any noise attracted little attention.
They also had to hear his voice.
How annoying.
Surely, they sought the reason he did not take the test, but he should not give explanations.
"Why?" Questioned his tutor, recovering slowly, repositioning his lenses, fallen to the tip of his nose. "Something stopped you?"
"It was my decision, sensei," he told him firmly, almost daring him to say anything against it.
The gasps filled the classroom, and his teacher didn't shut them up, blinking repeatedly, gobsmacked.
Naoki did not care.
"And another university?" Insisted the teacher.
He shrugged. "I won't take any exam."
Watanabe, in front of him, bent to pick up his teacher's belongings, who accepted them in silent. His classmate gave him a puzzled look. "Tonan?" He spoke softly, to which he nodded.
This time the teacher made a sound in his mouth and stared at his face.
Naoki didn't pay attention to it, as if oblivious to the surprise, indignation or disbelief that crossed his teacher, who could only get away muttering words concerning Tonan and misunderstanding of the decision.
"Is for real?" Watanabe asked and he nodded, before returning to his affairs.
For the first time, the very silent Class A spent a long time whispering to each other.
He rolled his eyes and grimaced in disgust, they seemed ill-mannered, gossiping about a person with this one still in the room. He cared very little and concentrated on the book he had borrowed from the public library, but the buzzing made him be the first out of the class at the break.
When he left the toilets before the last period class, he made a sound of annoyance with his mouth, seeing that others were watching him. It was ridiculous that not studying at Todai made him worthy of such interest; he did not want to think how much more annoying would have been if he rejected university.
Naoki frowned at seeing that Kotoko passed him to enter the female toilets, her head down, unaware of his presence.
He shrugged and went to his classroom, ignoring, as usual, he was being the cynosure of all eyes; fortunately, there were just two and a half weeks of classes less, which would go fast, now that the time passed quickly—not as the previous year.
In addition, the whispers and rumors would end in a few days.
[...]
"I cannot believe that is our graduation day, Naoki-kun!" Kotoko said in a spirited tone at his back, walking to school.
Naoki rolled his eyes, but he admitted to himself how quickly have arrived that day, and that if things went well, he'd wake up and find himself in a few years, finishing his career, and, if his mother succeeded, by then already married with Kotoko.
Another he would have thought that the time would pass slowly, but he had a feeling it would go like lightning. Already the current year passed like the speed of light… Moreover, it was interesting, unlike others.
"I'm nervous to stand before the assembly, with all those people watching me and waiting for me to do something wrong."
Kotoko's superstitions, he thought, although he was not so surprised that they chose her as representative of her group, as she was the best of it, a discovery in the history of high school. What irritated him was seeing Ikezawa at the front too, but Kotoko said his classmates favored him and that the teacher thought it was a good consolation prize for not going to college.
Silly sentimentalism, in his opinion.
"How do you do it, Naoki-kun? Can you give me some advice?"
He sighed, why would he have any?
For him there was no problem to come forward and talk, he just did it as he did everything else. There was only one moment in a contest of second grade, the first time he was at the front, that he thought the taunts of the previous year would be repeated, but the other children had forgotten the incident; and he, in front, concentrating on what he was doing, had dismissed the situation quickly.
He refused and Kotoko moaned.
"Just do not make a fool of yourself."
"It's very easy for you to say." She muttered under her breath.
He snorted.
"It's a pity that my classes with you will be finished," commented Kotoko. "Right, Naoki-kun?"
Just for her.
He shrugged.
"Naoki-kun?" she called out again, after a period of silence.
"Now what?"
"Will you give your button at the end of the ceremony?"
Foolish tradition.
"I do not believe on it," he muttered.
"But… I'm your girlfriend and… you'll make me very happy."
So what? It was not enough argument to change his mind.
"And if I did not give it to me, all the other girls will insist to have it."
He didn't believe it possible, for some time the students had stopped to come in his way. It was a big difference they knew he had a girlfriend.
"So, will you?"
He just hoped she didn't plant to insist until a positive response on his part, because the nuisance made him do the impossible.
"Better focus on not failing today," he said in response to make her forget the topic.
"I'm soooo nervous!" Kotoko exclaimed. "I don't have to make mistakes to not embarrass Naoki-kun!"
He followed the road listening her talk. She wanted to hear his speech, which he had not let her read before, although she said she wanted to witness it, like three years ago, and feel she was back in time, without changing everything she had lived.
Like many other times, he wondered where he had so much energy to talk a lot.
"And after this we'll go to the same college," she said, but with a different tone.
He raised an eyebrow, cocking his head to Kotoko, who suddenly looked dejected. Where was all her excitement to study in the same place?
He assumed that nerves influenced her, but he had a slight feeling of were that sudden strange attitude came from.
"What about that?" he asked after a sigh.
"Nothing," she said raising her face, shaking her head. "Today is our graduation!"
"Yes!" Shouted two familiar voices. Soon, Kotoko was carried away to school by her friends.
He put his hands in his pockets and nodded when Watanabe joined him.
"The teachers are upset that you didn't take the exam to Todai," said his classmate and he shrugged. "Is that the guy who did not go to college?" asked Watanabe, pointing to the right.
Naoki followed his gaze and saw Ikezawa, who had his eye on Kotoko, in a way that he did not like. He wrinkled his mouth and nodded.
"He doesn't seem very distressed about it."
"He's only an idiot," he replied, shrugging.
"He looks very resolute, so he must have gotten over it," Watanabe remarked, continuing the way to school when he stepped forward.
He thought of the words of his classmate. Perhaps it was true, although the matter he felt concerned, the interest of his girlfriend, remained the same.
[…]
Preceding his group as the representative of the generation, Naoki entered the auditorium for the graduation ceremony.
He occupied the first seat and his classmates followed suit in their respective places, while the principal introduced the groups behind him, until the F, which was accompanied by a series of cheers. Watanabe and Koujiro, beside him, as representatives of their group to receive certificates, let out a laugh, like some of his classmates; he remained undaunted.
Once everyone was properly seated, the principal began the ceremony, speaking about the journey of the students and the future starting from that day and how proud he was of the first generation in which almost all got a place at university. Ikezawa, if he had tried, would have completed the generation.
The principal went on a few more minutes and then called him to the podium to give his speech, introducing him as the best student of the generation.
He stood after the applause and walked the short path that led him to the stairs, which he rose calm, to stand before the principal. He bowed.
He glanced at the assembly with a polite smile and began the speech he had prepared for that day, which completed the one given on the first day of school.
"In this day, peach flowers have matured, as the days get warmer," he said slowly glancing at the audience. "I am honored to have so many here today to make this ceremony great and magnificent."
He spoke of the challenges they might have faced those days and good wishes for the future, the importance of perseverance to achieve success and the hope that they contribute to the welfare of their nation and society, making people feel proud for belonging to that school.. He offered his thanks to the teaching staff and parents of all of them and concluded with a farewell to the other students, wishing to triumph and reach the dreams they had.
Those final words, as an added afterthought.
He nodded to others, congratulating them on graduation, and fell silent, after which the audience was filled with applause, the indication to return to his place.
"We're moved by the words of the graduate representative and we appreciate that he gives voice to students this day. Now, students representing each group to deliver certificates to their classmates. Class A, Hitoshi Watanabe and Rinko Koujiro…"
Naoki saw the delivery without much interest, finished his participation. In pairs, after being appointed, the students representing their classes went to the stage to receive the diplomas.
"Finally, representing the Class F, Ikezawa Kinnosuke," he heard the cry of the guy, "and Aihara Kotoko." There was silence at the mention of her name, to what many turned to the back
He could bet that she was daydreaming.
"Aihara Kotoko," repeated the principal with perplexed voice, and then he heard a commotion behind.
"Here!" Kotoko yelled.
He rolled his eyes, while laughter filled the auditorium.
Askance, he saw her advance accompanied by Ikezawa, who seemed to glow with a Cheshire grin on his face. "Come, Kotoko; we should go with arms linked." He spoke, not very low. Naoki wrinkled his nose, how ridiculous.
"Do not be stupid, Kin-chan!" Kotoko protested, making him smile arrogantly. "There is no reason to do so."
"It's our wedding day," Ikezawa whispered as they passed him, and Naoki identified in the guy one of the stupefied expressions that Kotoko put in the middle of a dream.
How stupid, imagine a wedding in that moment, with someone else's gilfriend. His.
He was a pathetic fool.
And he imagined that Kotoko would not be freed of the shame she wanted to avoid that day, after her initial mishap.
Both went to the stand. She spread her hands to receive their share certificates, but Ikezawa did not, and the principal said his name quietly, but then had to repeat it on the microphone.
"Ikezawa Kinnosuke," repeated the principal, and Kotoko placed her hands for the other certificates, elbowing his companion.
"What do you think is going on?" Watanabe said, beside him. He shrugged, amused of imagining the broken dreams that would last in Ikezawa, which shouldn't be dreaming with the moment when he "married" with Kotoko.
"Ikezawa Kinnosuke."
"Kin-chan." The proximity allowed him to hear the call from his girlfriend.
"Of course, I do! I accept!" Cried the aforementioned, causing the laughter of everybody.
"What do you accept?" muttered the principal into the microphone, with an upset face.
"Shut up, Kin-chan. It's embarrassing!" Kotoko said, with what seemed an angry voice; he recognized the guy achieved the impossible.
Ikezawa took the microphone and held it against his mouth; Naoki crossed his arms seeing something interesting. "Not! I have to talk! He jump with the shriek; the idiot didn't know the use of the microphone. "Naoki Irie!" In his periphery he caught the interested look of Watanabe. "Do not you feel good just because you're going to the same college as Kotoko and because now you're her boyfriend!" said Ikezawa pointing at him. "Before everyone, I'll triumph and soon I will become a skilled chef! And Kotoko will prefer me and I will marry her!"
"Wow, Irie-san does have competition," said someone at his back, making him snort.
"Aihara-san must be really good at something," added another.
"She managed to be on the fifty this year," noted one more person.
He raised an eyebrow at Ikezawa, to whom Kotoko tried to push to silence him, as allowed her the diplomas. She said things between her teeth, but he couldn't read her lips.
"I just wanted to tell everyone, because Kotoko and he did not make the best couple," yelled the loud-mouthed, with the focus on them all. "Do you agree with me? None objection! True!" He laughed at the end, making him shiver with disgust.
How stupid, as if was necessary to shame oneself so publicly.
"Objection!" Naoki put a hand to his forehead, with the participation of his mother. For real? "Onii-chan, say something fast!" she demanded him. "Face him and tell him you'll never let that happen!"
He lowered his head and covered his face with his hands, praying that his mother was less untimely and impulsive.
"'Onii-chan' refers to you, isn't it?" Asked one of his classmates from the back seats.
"Irie has it hard," someone from his group remarked.
As if he were to allow such nonsense.
"Kin-chan, you idiot!" Kotoko suddenly proclaimed, attracting the attention of the public. He looked up again; Ikezawa had paled and she had the face red. "I no longer know you! You have no right! And you're embarrassing me!"
Kotoko stepped to go down and Kinnosuke held her, but she wanted to step away and lost on the step, slipping. The papers flew, landing on the carpeted floor.
Ikezawa and his mother screamed her name.
Naoki took again the hand to his forehead, rolling his eyes.
"No, no, no, no," she repeated kneeling, making movements of denial with her head, as she gathered certificates.
No sequel had to leave her fall because she was concentrated on that.
He bent down to pick up a certificate at his feet, casually hers, and gave it toward her. "Thank you so much," Kotoko whispered without turning, until she did it and opened her eyes with astonishment.
He picked her up slightly from the ear. "Be careful, silly," he softly muttered, then straightened. She nodded with her eyes downcast.
Ikezawa then approached Kotoko, who stood and ignored him, walking with her head high to her place, with Ikezawa following her like a lapdog.
He lifted the corner of his lip petulantly.
After that, the ceremony ended soon, and the period of the institute concluded. He went for his belongings.
Upon leaving the auditorium, he met many female eyes, watching his chest. For a second he hesitated if they would bother him with the ridiculous request of the second button, destined to his special girl, but as he felt that a body of known weight hung from his arm, the owners of the glances turned around, with similar expressions of regret on their faces.
Naoki let out a sigh of exasperation, disengaging his arm from Kotoko to continue his way to the lockers.
"Will you give your second button?"
He shook his head.
"Please?" She asked with a pout on her lips.
He rolled his eyes. "Kotoko-chan! Onii-chan!" Called his mother behind them and he stopped at the middle of the yard, with a sigh, wondering what she wanted. Enough was her ridiculous act in the auditorium.
"Oba-sama," Kotoko he greeted his mother, who stood before them and hugged her.
"Congratulations to both of you."
"Thanks, Oba-sama." In that moment both their parents arrived, Shigeo-san with the video camera under his arm.
"Many congratulations," said his father.
"I never thought I would see this day," Shigeo-san whispered, his eyes glassy. "And Kotoko will study the university."
"Dad," she murmured. His father patted his friend on the shoulder.
"Ai-chan, stop it, Kotoko-chan is a great young woman."
"Onii-chan, you haven't given your button Kotoko-chan?" inquired his mother in recrimination tone, scrutinizing gaze.
"I do not believe in that," he muttered, averting his eyes from her.
"But Kotoko-chan does, and you do not lose anything to give the button," argued his mother, insistent as ever.
"Yes!" agreed Kotoko clapping.
"I can give Kotoko my button!" Naoki almost growled when the loudmouth placed a hand on his arm between him and Kotoko.
"Do not!" Cried the women simultaneously.
He took Ikezawa's hand away in disgust.
"Kinnosuke," Shigeo-san said with narrowed eyes.
"Boss-father!"
"I told you not to call me that," chided her father, earning a bow of apology from Ikezawa.
Naoki watched the exchange with interest. So the guy would be working with his father-in-law? How convenient way to achieve his dream.
He stepped to continue his way, but noted that others were moving to keep up, and stopped.
"I just wish to call you father someday, boss!" declared solemn Ikezawa. "And I'll start giving my button to Kotoko."
"Kotoko-chan does not want your button, boy!" his mother interjected, starting a staring contest with former student of F. Kotoko nodded, but neither saw it. "She wants onii-chan's!"
"But if he does not give it to her, I can," replied Ikezawa. Naoki stepped forward again and they followed him, disturbing.
He clenched his hands into fists at his sides.
"You will not do it!" Fight his mother.
"Yes!" Said the other, raising a fist.
The other three were seeing the exchange; Kotoko changed the direction of her head each, negating and affirming with each sentence, to the point that she almost got confused and accepted the button from Ikezawa, bringing her hands to her cheeks, but he just saw it.
They tried his patience. He massaged the bridge of his nose, and then take his hand to his chest, before regretting it.
He took advance that Kotoko was putting down her hands to catch her right one and place the damn button to conclude that nonsense and be alone.
"I'll get my things," he said aloud before doing it.
"Onii-chan! The button! The pictures!" Cried his mother at his back.
"Oba-sama…" That was Kotoko.
His mother screamed, and even the birds flew. He pressed his fingers to his eyes, rubbing them as he shook his head.
[…]
Naoki already knew from comments of Kotoko about the celebration at night, his group and hers would share the same room—he found out late, of course, since he Ikezawa organized it—, but still it was irksomely to be in the same place, more for the gasps of both groups, than anything else.
The only satisfaction was the expression of disbelief of Ikezawa, passing him in the company of his classmates of three years.
"Oh, Class F." Watanabe said behind him. "What a coincidence. You must be lucky, Irie."
"Don't tell me that Class A will also be celebrating here! It cannot be!" Ikezawa yelled with such outrage that he almost could hear his teeth gnashing at the end.
"Unfortunately, for you, so it is," answered Naoki, following his path.
His classmates at his side, who entered at the time, began to complain loudly to share space with F's.
"What's wrong with you?! What's wrong with Class F?!" Ikezawa snapped, causing laughter in the other, and comments that it was the clown of the ceremony.
Already in their places, the teacher, who had ordered them there, invited them the dishes of the evening. They began to taste civilized until the room was darkened, and a focus on stage ignited; there appeared Ikezawa, dressed like a bad imitation of Elvis Presley.
"Once again him?" Asked someone.
"I had a special song for this day, but I will settle to dedicate a song to my dear classmates from F, the second song that I prepared for tonight," said Ikezawa microphone. Then, he made them shudder with horror, with hideous notes and a terrible lyric, which contents were merely repetitive phrases "my brothers F, always united" and "forever Class F".
His classmates around him roared with laughter, Ikezawa's, except for those who accompanied him on stage, did not seem very comfortable, as their embarrassed expression told.
"Listen to my second verse!"
"What?!"
"There is more?!"
Shouted those of his part of the room and saw some slight nods from some of F. Probably, from a more refined voice, the gesture would have pleased them.
Kotoko was right; he wasn't good at singing.
"Please, no, I'll waste my food," he said aloud, carrying his glass to his mouth.
"What did you say?!" Ikezawa protested. "Irie bastard! Genius demon!"
The melody of a phone rang in the room, and all witnessed the "singer" responding, stressing the word "boss".
He owed a big thanks to Shigeo-san for interrupting the torture.
Quickly, Ikezawa approached Kotoko, said something, and ran to the exit, taking the guitar behind him and leaving stunned his friends, still on stage with their electric bass and piano.
The room lights came on in full.
"That student, I heard he's not going to college but started to work." Spoke his sensei, rising from his seat, with his well-known prideful pose.
"What do you mean by that?!" Claimed Kotoko's tutor. He had known him when he asked for her homework; he liked him better, his personality almost like his father.
"No, nothing," said his teacher, readjusting his glasses the way he did when he got to his haughty attitude.
"He'll join the society prior to his generation!" Stood up for Ikezawa the other teacher. "There's no reason to treat him like an idiot!"
"True!" Supported Kotoko's classmates in an admirable way, but he had already thought so before. He thought maybe they were worth defending, although not Ikezawa, because he didn't like the guy… despite admitting that he was good with food.
"Truly, all of you." His teacher crossed his arms. "Also, it seems to be a student in class F that, despite her exposed abilities, is nothing more than a distraction for our best student."
Naoki straightened, his teacher was intruding in his life, the way he should not; there was a limit, the other must not exceed. He felt a hand on his shoulder and looked at Watanabe, who pointed at his hand grasped—he didn't know at what time he put it that way.
"There's a rumor, and I dare believe it, that says it is her fault that he hasn't gone to the University of Tokyo." Keep going his teacher, walking until he was within an inch of his girlfriend, and he, trying to relax his hands, stood.
What foolishness was he saying? Which rumor was he talking that, for once, did not reach his ears?
It came to his mind Kotoko reactions after he told his teacher he would not go to Todai. Now it was clear and he felt angry. Did they not believe him able to make his own decisions? Did they expect him to fulfill what they wanted and what he wanted? What right did they have to demand to her, being that he was the one who had the right to say things to her?
He saw her look down.
His classmates began to give comments seconding the words of his sensei, criticizing Kotoko, while hers, around her, supported her.
He thought about the nonsense his ex-classmates were saying, except for Watanabe and Koujiro, standing at his side. Kotoko prevented him from going? As if he were to let anything stop him if he wanted to go to Tokyo University.
That she was a hindrance?
Kotoko was better for him than they were; she helped him to find a professional future… while the others only had continually pressed him and expected to fulfill their wishes or stood out, as they could not.
Apparently, the A could be unconscious and disrespectful, regardless of his decisions.
"Sensei," he said, advancing to meet with his teacher. "Is not her fault."
"But Irie…"
"And nobody has the right to assume otherwise. In addition," he added, raising his voice, "I have not given right to comment on my life."
There was a collective gasp in the room.
"As if I could not show to be the best in our university… You question my abilities."
"Irie-san, you do not know what you are saying," said someone, no matter who.
"It's true, Irie, you do not realize the mistake that you make in your life."
"You've got to be with someone better."
"Irie, as superior, I advise you to reconsider your decisions. It is still not too late."
The F remained silent, watching, and he even noticed a worried look from the sensei of the group. He hated that show of his life.
He rolled his eyes, he was tired of that nonsense, he thought, with the idea of leaving; incidentally, taking Kotoko with him, who hitherto had not raised her head.
That silly; she wasn't able to see how stupid it all was.
"Did any have taken the chance to meet Kotoko-san?" Asked Koujiro, silencing them all, offering the perfect moment to slip away.
"Yes!" Cried Kotoko's friends and others who knew her nodded too.
"But it's just one more of F class!"
He saw Kotoko lost in her group, before he reached her.
"Aihara-san has brainwashed Irie!"
"Kotoko is not like that!"
"She only took advantage of Irie-san!"
Naoki cared very little of the fight and went to the door. He went out and looked sideways until he found the red hair of Kotoko, slightly darkened by the night.
Her stumble gave him time to get close to her; she stood up seeing him and ran to her left, a dead end.
He held her to get her out of there and let the ridiculousness go away, then go home, but she surprised him by pulling away, clinging to the wall.
"Leave, Naoki-kun," she murmured, looking away.
Now, what was wrong?
He turned, aware of knowing he could not leave her there in the middle of the night.
He fixed his eyes on her, who shrugged and tried to look away but he noticed, to his displeasure with such scenes, her eyes were filled with tears.
"Your classmates… they are… right…" she whispered, before letting out a sob.
For real?
"Do not say…
"I'll be better…" she interrupted, "if I'm no longer your girlfriend… because I'm bad for you…"
By the gods, what was her occurrence now?
"You need someone better at your side… I'm not…"
Was he really going to hear that nonsense? First the "best in class" and now she was with that speech. He turned to the main road, holding her wrist, but she stood firmly in place and he could not move her.
"We don't… and I'll stop loving you." Something in her words made his body stiffen; it was her resolute way of speaking that caused her fight for things. And to get them. What was she trying to say? What did she try to do?
He turned, focusing his eyes on her resolute eyes.
"I'll be able to find someone… that's right… for me," she spoke, raising her head, still sobbing.
Oh, no. She'd better not think of something like that happening. She was his girlfriend and he decided whether they finished, and the last was not an option. Much less, he would provide an opportunity for someone like Ikezawa to take advantage of her.
"I'll do that. I'll stop… loving you…"
"Kotoko, shut up," he snapped, cornering her against the wall.
She shook her head and he gritted his teeth, fearing she put her mind to it. He liked Kotoko; he would not let her get away. He did not want to ever imagining her with another.
Kotoko tried to speak.
He slammed his lips on hers, abruptly. "Shut up," he said. "Stop your nonsense."
She was the one he liked and he was the one who made decisions for himself, and whom he chose, as his girlfriend, was she. And he did not like or wanted to… he hated to hear her say she would be with someone else. Another whom she offered her unconditional loyalty, her smiles, her kisses, her confidence, her efforts, her stupid gifts, her effusiveness, her innocence, her enthusiasm, her support; everything she was with him.
She'd better not think so.
"Naoki-kun."
"Hush," he insisted and again pressed his lips on hers, to erase her words with that kiss, in her mind and his.
So he kissed with rage, nibbling her lips and swallowing her gasps, with the goal of eliminating those false impressions and beliefs, of erasing the thought she wasn't right for him and he could not choose who he wishes… To get her rid of the idea she could make the decision to get away and think that he had nothing to say.
He kissed her because, hell, just imagining her with other man made him furious.