Your thoughts are reeling the entire journey back to the manor. Is what the Undertaker told you true? Are you really destined to serve Sebastian for all eternity, your soul completely lost?
You think through your relationship with him so far, if you can even call it that. The fact that you're questioning that is one point in favour of the Undertaker's words.
The next point to consider is that Sebastian once told you that your soul was 'a little bland for his tastes'. As a demon, his entire life is centred around devouring souls. If he has no desire to devour yours, then what use is it to him? It's no great loss to him if it ends up being discarded. That's another point in Undertaker's favour.
Also, how did Undertaker know of Sebastian's change in behaviour? Was it an educated guess, or has he been spying on you again? Neither of those options are good. If it's a guess, it means that he knows what he's talking about, making it three points to none in favour of his theory. If he's still spying on you, what doesn't exactly sit easy with you either. Whatever his intentions may be, he's still basically a stranger to you, and no one wants a stranger spying on them. Then again, given that this stranger has treated you so much better than Sebastian, maybe having him look out for you isn't a bad thing… especially given his supernatural side. If anyone could stop Sebastian from going too far one night, it's him.
You've spent so long focusing on things that support the Undertaker's theory that you've left yourself no time to think of a counter argument.
You've arrived at the manor.
As you exit the coach, another thought occurs to you. If you've spent so long trying to make Sebastian seem like the villain, doesn't that show what you really think of him? If you're willing to find evidence to support the Undertaker, before even considering the fact that Sebastian might not be like that, then what does that show?
The answer tastes almost foul on your tongue; it means that you don't feel for him, at least not as much as it should.
If that's the case, then there's another question you need to ask yourself.
Can you really go through with the ritual?
You've had doubts from day one, but they've always been silenced, either by Sebastian's demonic carnal prowess, or your own willingness to look upon him with rose-tinted glasses. Now that those glasses have been removed by this latest revelation, for the first time in months you can see your situation clearly.
He's been using you.
You want to cry, but you're not sure if it's from relief or sorrow. All this time, he's kept you as his plaything, treated you as if that's all you are.
Not any more. You're going to confront him, right here and now, and free yourself from his corrupting influence.
You enter the manor, determined to find him, only to let out a surprised squeak the moment you open the door.
Sebastian is stood right there, a malevolent smile on his face.
'I think it's high time we had a little chat, don't you?'
-T/S-
Sebastian leads you to your room, eyes facing forwards. You following him reluctantly, Undertaker's gift still in hand. Sebastian had given the report to Tanaka the moment you'd step inside, ordering him to take it to Lord Ciel while he 'dealt' with you. You don't like the sound of that, but you have no choice but to obey him.
After all he's done in the past, you don't want to risk provoking him.
When you reach the bedroom, he gestures for you to enter first. You do just that, walking straight over to your vanity table and placing your chocolate there. With that done, you sit on the bed, awaiting Sebastian's next move. He locks your bedroom door, then turns to face you, his expression unreadable.
Despite not being able to read his expression, dread fills you. He never demands to speak with you unless he has something bad to tell you, or if he's about to accuse you of something.
He smirks at you. 'Hm, and there I was thinking that your fear no longer has any effect on me. It seems I was wrong; your fear is quite delectable at the moment.
'Alas, that's not the reason I need to speak with you. This ritual of our is entering a critical stage, one that shall require constant attention. With that in mind, I'm afraid I can't let you leave this room. I know I promised you freedom, but I'm going to have to take it from you yet again. I'd say that I'm sorry, but I respect you enough not to lie to you. It's going to be so much fun, having you where I want you again.' His grin turns predatory as he stalks over to you, pushing you onto the bed and hovering over you on all fours.
You can't believe what he's just told you. You can't believe he go back on his word like that. Then again, a part of you can believe it, which makes you feel sad. It also reminds you of your earlier thoughts, and all the questions you've yet to ask him.
However, it looks like you won't have the time to do so, as Sebastian is already beginning to undress you, apparently no longer interested in talking to you. Your body begins to prepare itself for him, just as it always does. How many times has he taken you now? How many more times will he take you? Will you ever truly mean anything to him, or are you really destined to be his whore for all eternity? The way your body is acting suggests that yes, you are destined to be his whore, but another part of you screams out in protest. You're worth so much more than this, so much more than his twisted affection. You can't just roll over and submit to him.
Not this time. You have questions, and he's going to answer them.
You use all of your strength to push him off of you, managing to knock him into your dresser. His eyes are filled with rage as he looks at you, his hands clenched into fists.
Your initial reaction is to cower, but you quickly fight against it. You can't show him any sign of weakness. You glare back at him, hoping you look severe enough to stop him in his tracks.
He opens his mouth to speak, but you beat him to it. 'No. You shall not keep me prisoner here. We agreed that we are equals in this, and equals make decisions together. I have decided that until you agree to take back what you've just said, you shan't be laying a single claw on me, do you understand?
'Oh, and while we're at it, I have a few other questions for you. What happens to my soul when this ritual is complete? Will I still be human when you're done claiming me? What am I to you really?' You keep trying to look your sternest, but it's difficult with Sebastian looking at you like he is. After you speak, there's a tense silence in the air…
The tension is broken by Sebastian's menacing chuckle.
He stands slowly, still chuckling to himself. 'Why, you're my plaything, of course. You don't honestly think I see us as equals? That was a lie, my dear. A lie designed to keep you happy. After all, a happy whore is a willing whore.
'As for your soul, who cares? As long as I get what I want, what happens to your soul is irrelevant. You won't be fully human by the time I'm finished with you, either. You'll be a half breed of sorts. Human in essence, demonic in nature, and capable of taking my seed like you were born to do. You really are a fool, think I could feel anything for you.
'As for you denying me until I set you free, you're forgetting something important; I don't like being denied the thing I desire. If you refuse to give yourself to me willingly, I'll just force myself on you instead. I'd prefer that, actually. Care for a demonstration?' You try to comprehend his words, which is a mistake, as it give him enough time to strike. He pushes you back onto the bed, forcing your hands together about your head so you can't push him away again.
He uses one hand to keep your wrists pinned to the bed, while the other rips your underwear away, revealing your opening to him. You consider screaming, but what good will that do? There's no one in the mansion strong enough to stop a demon.
You consider pleading with him, but don't want to give him the satisfaction. He's just admitted how much he enjoys your fear, and you don't want to give him any kind of satisfaction.
You could try kicking him, but what good will that do? He'd probably break your legs to stop you doing it again.
It seems like there's nothing you can do. Nothing that can stop him. All you can do is prepare yourself for the inevitable, tears streaming down your face, and silently promise yourself one thing;
The moment you regain the ability to walk, you're going to open your window, wait for the Undertaker to arrive, then beg him to help you.
Sebastian brings his mouth to your ear, and you close your eyes in disgust, not wanting to look at the man about to violate both your body and your trust.
His voice is softer than you're expecting. 'At least, that's what you thought I'd say, isn't it?' He releases his hold on you immediately, before leaving the bed and standing before you. You instantly shuffle backwards on the bed, bringing your legs up to your chest. You start sobbing violently, still reeling from the shock of what just happened. Why had he done such a thing? More importantly, why had he stopped?
He patiently waits for your sobs to abate, before he hands you a handkerchief from his breast pocket. You take it hesitantly, still weary of him. He sighs heavily.
'You honestly thought I'd do it, didn't you? You honestly thought I'd rape you? What must I do to earn your trust, hm? Beg for it? Would you like that? And what's all of this nonsense about your soul? You'll still have one when this is over, if that's what concerns you. Yes, I shan't deny that It'll be altered somewhat, but nothing serious enough to warrant concern! I can't believe that you'd think so little of me. Perhaps it would be best if we avoided each other for a while. You'll still have to remain in here as planned, but I'll have Mey-Rin deliver your food. I'll return when you've had time to decide if you still want to go through with this.' With that, he leaves, locking the door before posting the key underneath the door.
You start crying again, starting to feel guilty. Your treatment of him was unfair. It was wrong of you to instantly believe another man over him.
You retrieve the key from the floor. The mere fact that he left it shows that he trusts you to do as he's asked. Yet here you are, unable to trust that he isn't just using your body for sex.
You clutch the key to your chest; you hope he returns sooner, rather than later.