A/N: Here's another one for you :) I stayed up just to get this finished so hopefully it's not a big mess of delirious ramblings. I would be super grateful if you could leave your thoughts in the review box at the bottom, it's always good to know what's working/not working - especially at the start of a new fic!

I think we're pretty much done with the flashbacks after this chapter btw. Hope it hasn't been too confusing!

All my love to those who reviewed the last chapter, and thanks to everyone that has been reading along with me.

Chapter Three: Hindsight

Draco flexed his hand to relieve the muscles that were spasming from overuse. It was gone 5pm on a Wednesday in early March and most of his colleagues had already gone home; turns out crime doesn't mind taking a break 'til the morning. His boss, Richard Cuthbertson-Davis had put Draco on desk duties for the day, well for the majority of the year actually, and that meant that he had to complete everyones paperwork after they returned from whatever incident they were sent to sort out.

A dull thump next to him made his head shoot up. His eyes narrowed at the man in front of him.

"Potter," He acknowledged drily, "how can I help?"

Harry pulled at the skin on his neck awkwardly. "That incident at the Weasley's shop took longer than we expected-"

"I'm sure." Draco commented in a bored voice.

"Yes," the dark-haired man said, his tone becoming more snippy. He opened his mouth to retort but decided against it, Hermione's voice saying 'pick your battles' in his head. "So anyway, I've put the action report on the pile."

He looked apologetic, serving only to annoy Draco further. He couldn't decide which was worse: the open hostility he received from his other colleagues or the obvious pity he received from people like Harry. "Fine. See you tomorrow." It was as civil as he was ever going to be able to be.

"See you." Harry replied plainly, then shouted to Cuthberston-Davis on the way out: "Night Dickie."

"Have a good one!" The older man called back from his office.

Draco glanced at his watch, it was now 5.15pm and he had to pick Llewyn up in fifteen minutes, yet the pile of reports that needed finishing had only seemed to grow despite him trying to race through them all day. He rose to his feet and reluctantly moved towards the Auror in Chief's office, knocking the door to get the balding man to look up from his desk.

The man tutted when he saw he was there. "Malfoy, what do you want?"

"I need to pick my son up from his mother's house and Potter's just handed in an extra report, and obviously I don't have time to finish it all off tonight so can I come in early tomorrow to get it done? It'll all be finished before the first assignments are handed out."

Richard put his quill back in its pot and surveyed Malfoy slowly. "Is there a reason you didn't get your work finished today?"

"Well…" Draco started, feeling his confidence begin to ebb, "I'm still working through the backlog from that Hurley House raid on Monday."

"So not only are you incompetent in the field you're also incompetent at paperwork. Honestly, Malfoy, I'm running out of ways to make you useful." He watched Draco with a smirk, waiting for him to react. Unfortunately for him, Draco had learnt a fair bit about self-control when he was in rehab, and didn't play along.

"Richard-"

"That's 'Sir' to you, Malfoy!" Cuthberston-Davis barked.

"Sir," Draco drawled, "I'm always the last person to leave the office and the first to arrive in the morning, I've done all the crappy tasks you've given me and not complained once, and all I'm asking is to leave work on time so that I can pick up my son - who I only see twice a week!"

"I will not be spoken to like that!" The man barked. "You should be grateful you even have a job here! If I had a say in it your kind would still be locked up with the dementors! Now go and finish your goddamn work or don't bother coming back!" A stubby finger directed him out.

Draco slammed himself down in his chair, seething. He'd have to let Narcissa know so she could pick Llewyn up for him but knew she'd do that unbelievably irritating disappointed sigh. Storming off to the nearest floo, he was completely oblivious that Harry had come back to pick up his cloak and had heard everything.

He arrived back at Malfoy Manor at eight o'clock. Sweating and panting, he jumped two steps at a time and ran down the hallway, skidding to a halt outside Llewyn's bedroom. The door was open ajar but there was no light streaming out. Perhaps his mother had put Llewyn to bed? He creeped carefully into the room, trying not to make a sound so he wouldn't wake the little one.

"Draco?" His mother shouted down the hall. "Is that you?"

He cursed under his breath. Did she have to be so bloody loud?

She opened the door before he could intervene. "What are you doing in here?" She asked in that same inappropriately loud voice.

"Shh!" He hushed her, looking back to the little bed that was in the far corner of the room; but the light from the hallway was illuminating it enough now that Draco could see there was no one in it. "Where's Llewyn?"

"At home," Narcissa clipped tartly, "with his mother."

"What?" Draco spun back around. "Didn't you get my message?"

Narcissa blew air through her nose and walked back out into the hallway, Draco on her heels. "I received it, yes, and then I ignored it."

"Ignored it? What - what's going on?" Draco grabbed her shoulder to make her stop walking. "Mother?"

Narcissa threw her hands up in the air dramatically. "It's just not fair, Draco. It's not fair for you to come and go into that little boy's life as you please. Arianwen has set you rules for a reason and frankly if you can't follow them you should just leave well enough alone."

He blinked, waiting for her to crack a smile and whip out the punchline…but she didn't. "Are you being serious right now? You're actually taking her side again?"

Narcissa pursed her lips, the lines that age had cut into her skin growing deeper; though when she spoke it was a little softer than before. "Draco, dear, it's not about taking sides. It's just that your poor Arianwen has been through an awful lot and been ever so patient with you, even when you were…" she paused as she tried to select the right word, "…unreliable. And even now…" she tailed off again.

"Even now what?" Draco half asked, half dared.

Narcissa sighed again. "Well you're not exactly making it easy for her, are you? You need to start being more stable, Draco, and being on time is a perfect way to show Arianwen that you're serious about being in Llewyn's life."

"I don't need a bloody lecture!" Draco spat. "The only reason I was late is because I was trying to hold on to my fucking job, which is one of the reasons she let me have Llewyn in the first place!" He started pacing, rubbing his hand on the back of his head as he did.

"Watch your language!" She scolded. "I have had quite enough of this 'woe is me' attitude, this is not how your father and I raised you! If you even knew how much that girl has done for you you wouldn't be stood here trying to blame your bad parenting on me, you'd be at her house begging her to give you another chance!"

Draco could practically feel a growl forming in his throat. "What the hell are you talking about? She kicked me out of our house! She kicked me out when she was the only person getting me through to the next day - and she knew it, she knew how much I was relying on her but she still left me!"

"And that is exactly the problem that I'm trying to explain to you Draco: you blame everything on her but you don't take any responsibility for your own actions! She didn't just throw you out of the house with nowhere to go, she waited until you were sober and told you that she'd arranged for you to spend some time with your father and me, here at the Manor. But you never turned up and I got worried so I went to see Arianwen to see if you were still there, and when she found out you were missing, well - she was beside herself!"

"What do you mean he's not with you?" Arianwen screeched, her heart beating a minute to the dozen. "I told him to go straight to yours but he insisted on going to work first, maybe he's still there?" It was more of a wish than a question but Narcissa, also sick with worry, clutched onto it like a lifeline.

"Can you floo them?"

"Yeah!" Arianwen shouted behind her, already running through her house to the nearest fireplace. A tense few minutes passed while Arianwen had her head in the flames and Narcissa stood helplessly behind, waiting for news. Shortly after, Arianwen pulled her head back out, tears starting to form in her eyes. "No one's there." She announced shakily. "I shouted for ages but no one came."

"Is there someone else you can try?" Narcissa questioned desperately.

Arianwen gasped and grabbed another handful of floo powder. "Yes, of course! Godric's Hollow!" She shoved her head back into the flames, leaving Narcissa to wait and hope once again.

By the time she pulled her head out, the tears had begun streaming down her face. "He never showed up," she said quietly, "Harry said he was fired a month ago!"

"What?" Narcissa gasped. "Oh Merlin, what's happened to my boy! Where else could he be?"

"Harry said there're some clubs he's caused some trouble at before, I'll try there first." Arianwen went straight into action mode. "Take Llewyn back to your house, put him to bed and then stay there, just in case Draco comes back."

"I can't let you look for him on your own! Not after what he did to you last night, it's not safe!" Narcissa was becoming hysterical, which ironically seemed to calm Arianwen down.

"No Narcissa it's fine, he wouldn't hurt me…not intentionally anyway. I need you to go back to the Manor in case he goes there, okay?" She gave her a quick reassuring hug, then turned to go. "I'll let you know as soon as I find him!"

Hours later, Arianwen stood outside her last resort: the dirtiest, mangiest gentleman's club - and the last of the clubs Harry had mentioned: 'Wonderland'. The name was just about as discrete as the signage, and when Arianwen entered the neon woman next to the big 'W' swung her hips and giggled suggestively.

Thankfully, the place was heaving and no one looked towards the beam of streetlight that briefly crossed the room. It was the kind of place where people wanted not to be seen, so eye contact, unless with your night's prey, was generally taboo. "Can I help you, sugar?" A fake American accent purred in her ear.

Though hardly a prude, Arianwen certainly didn't appreciate the hand that was running up her thigh. "Possibly." She snipped, her tone making it very clear she was not a woman to be messed with. "I'm looking for someone, perhaps you've seen him. He's about 6 foot 2, light blonde hair-"

"A jawline that could cut a girl into tiny little pieces the second he looks your way?" The woman gushed, practically melting at the thought. Arianwen's lip curled ever so slightly, a defence mechanism she'd picked up from Draco over the years.

"Quite. Is he here?" She craned her neck around the oddly tall brunette to see if she could spot a flash of that famous white-blonde hair - but nothing.

"He might be." The woman smiled lopsidedly, revealing some rather white but rather crooked front teeth. Definitely not an American, she noted. "But sugar I don't make a living by giving things away for free. Though a girl as pretty as you could make me do a lot of things."

Arianwen might have laughed had she not been out searching for Draco for Merlin knew how many hours. As it was, she opted to dig her hand into the pocket of her robe and press a few galleons into the woman's hand. "That should more than cover it. Where is he?"

The woman's smile hardened, becoming more business like. And with a very distinctive Brummie accent said: "He's got a couple of girls up top, paid extra not to be disturbed." She looked pointedly at Arianwen's pocket.

"Ucgh," she grumbled, reaching back inside her robes, "so you want me to pay to disturb him? There." She pressed another five galleons into the woman's hand. "Can you take me there now?"

"Whatever you want, sugar.." The sickly sweet American was back. She winked, then led Arianwen through a door to the back and up a few flights of stairs. By the time they reached the door on the top landing, Arianwen's hands had gone so sweaty that they slipped on the doorknob.

"Let me," the woman pushed forward and rested her hand on the knob. She gave Arianwen a searching look. "This isn't gonna be pretty, Miss."

"I can handle it." Arianwen assured her, her confident tone sounding completely foreign to her ears. The woman nodded and opened the door, then quickly made her exit back down the stairs, not wanting to get caught up in the aftermath.

And she was right to do so, for Arianwen's heart was instantly ripped from its cage at what she saw. Draco had two women on the bed with him, one on all fours who was screaming her desire with every thrust into her that he made; the other one splayed out next to them, begging him to come in her mouth as she played with herself. They hadn't noticed her yet - standing there completely still, horrorstruck.

"Not like that." Draco reprimanded the woman on all fours, whose screaming was rendering her voice unusable. "Her voice is softer."

"Ohh," the woman moaned instead, her voice more breathy. "Oh Draco, just like that Daddy."

Arianwen couldn't take any more; she slammed the door shut behind her, her eyes ablaze with the kind of fury only betrayal could stoke. "What the fuck do you think you're doing?" She hissed, just loudly enough to be heard over the two women, who were carrying on with the show.

Draco grinned maniacally at her, not breaking eye contact as he began thrusting harder into the woman, eliciting unpracticed wails of excitement from her. He had cuts all over his arms; he must've been mixing the drug into his bloodstream all day and night. "I picked the one's that looked most like you, my sweet." He laughed to himself, his eyes still not breaking contact. "They even got them to engorgio their tits for me. Do you like them?" He gestured towards the one who was lying on her back.

"Come on baby it's my turn, come in me. I need you, baby." She moaned, as if on queue. And he obliged. He pulled out of the first woman suddenly, prompting the other one to scramble up and ram his penis into her mouth.

Arianwen felt utterly sick. She ran over to an open window and hurled her head over the ledge, retching horribly. Little stars had begun swarming in her vision, a loud ringing in her ears briefly drawing out the sounds of Draco's cheating. But she came-to faster than she might've hoped - and instantly, she saw red. She staggered to her feet and lunged herself upon the women, screaming "GET OUT!" at the top of her lungs. Grabbing fistfuls of died blonde hair, she yanked them up and dragged them unceremoniously to the top of the stairs.

"Tut tut," Draco slurred from the bedroom. "You can't have your cake and eat it too, you know," he sucked in a sharp breath, and Arianwen rushed back into the room, knowing all too well what that sound meant. True enough, he'd made a fresh cut in his arm and was rubbing the powdered tooth of the kelpie into it when she reentered the room.

"Stop it!" She half shouted-half cried, yanking the hand holding the powder away. "This shit is not going to make you feel better!"

"Ahh," Draco ground his teeth together in satisfaction as the drug hit him full force, "I don't know about that." She watched his eyes roll back in his head, his fists clench and unclench, and his legs give way beneath him, forcing him to flop back on the bed.

It was a routine she wished she didn't know so well but in some ways it would make her life easier. She could walk him out, get him to a safe place to apparate, and then set him up at his parent's house; he'd be in the mellow phase for a good hour before he would turn aggressive - just long enough to get him locked up.

"She set you up in the north wing, stayed with you all through your withdrawals, even when you got nasty with her. As soon as you fell asleep she'd go and see to Llewyn, make sure he was happy and didn't want for anything. Then it would be straight back to your bedside, brewing you potions to help your symptoms, singing to you and stroking your hair to make you fall asleep, holding you all through your shivers, promising you that you'd get through it. She didn't stop, I doubt she barely slept at all - she watched you day and night."

Narcissa's gaze grew steadily stronger as she regained focus. She looked at Draco sadly. "And then when you'd gotten through the worst of it, she had to take a step back, she said she wanted you to get better for you and if you knew she was there you would just make it about her. So she passed on your day-to-day care to me and your father, told us exactly what to do - when to help you and when to leave you be. She came back every night, just sat in that room with you while you slept, whispering things to you, sometimes reading you stories or articles from the Prophet. She just wanted to be close I think."

An excruciating lump had formed in Draco's throat, making it hard to speak. "I-I don't remember any of that."

"No," Narcissa sighed, "you wouldn't. She wouldn't let us say anything at all." Her voice began to tremble. "You truly broke her heart, Draco. The idea that you still loved her deep down was just about the only thing holding your relationship together. And when she saw you with those whores," she spat the word out with renewed venom, "I think it just tipped her over the edge."

A hot, salty tear dripped into his mouth. What had he done? What the hell had he done?

"Do you think she'll ever…?" He tailed off, it was a stupid question. How could she ever forgive him?

"I don't know," Narcissa said gently, reading his mind, "your father doesn't think so anyway. He thinks you should move on."

"And you?" He asked again, hopeful.

Narcissa paused for a moment. "I'm afraid I don't think she knows how to forgive you, dear." Then stopped again, looking slightly guiltily at her son. "And I'm not sure that she even wants to, anyway."