Anonymous Guest- I'm glad you've been enjoying it! Jay's fight ended up longer than I anticipated, so I'm relieved it still was fun to read!
Anyhow, he leaves to go back to Four.
I sit down, eyes closed, against the wall next to Jay, who's still dazed. Lily's fight is still going on but I can't find myself bothered to watch, same outcome as usual. I just focus on my breathing, in and out, in and out.
Because that was far too close.
"That was a good one…" I hear Jay groan and my eyes open and turn to him, and he gives me a weak smile as I place a hand under his jaw.
"You shouldn't bruise, it was only your jaw I hit." I say softly, not meeting his eyes. He lifts his gaze to the ring which I am pointedly ignoring, leaving us in silence.
"I'm sorry." I mutter the words so softly I can barely hear them myself, but Jay seems to catch the gesture.
"Don't be." He says easily.
"Beth wins, next!"
Jay takes my chin and forces me to look at him, a smile in his eyes. "It just backs up your reasoning. Make her see it, I'm tired of her losing." He says pained, and I hear two pairs of footsteps coming towards us. I guess Beth did a light hit too, since
Lily is already conscious.
"What the hell were you doing?" Lily starts as soon as we're in hearing range. "You could've seriously hurt Jay, your own friend?! Are you crazy?"
I stand up lightly, meeting her with a level gaze.
"I was doing what he asked me to." I say shortly.
"I doubt he asked you to strangle you." She retorts, and I stifle a chuckle.
"I meant I didn't hold back. Almost lost it for a second too." I murmur, half to myself. She doesn't reply, obviously realising how she would contradict herself. "Don't you see now? I hold back, because I can win holding back. I hold back because drawing
out a fight so my opposition won't get injured, and won't get cut immediately for losing in the first 10 seconds is better than the alternative. I hold back, so I don't hurt anybody."
"But that's my point exactly, I don't want to hurt anyone I fight either, I don't get what you're trying to tell me Avery!" Lily says, visibly frustrated. "These past days I've been trying, desperately to understand, because I know you know what you're
doing, but I just don't!"
"That's because your two ideals are conflicting." I point out simply. "You don't want to hurt anyone, so you hold back. But you don't want anyone to hold back against you, because you think it's cowardly."
"But it is cowardly." She says, and I turn to her levelly.
"It's not cowardly, to knock someone out for half an hour, instead of beating them to a pulp." I say bluntly. "My point is Lily, there's something about fighting, that you haven't grasped yet. How many fights have happened, where the outcome wasn't predictable?"
"Err… Yours and Jay's wasn't!" She protests.
"Wrong, Avery was always going to win." Jay scoffs with a smirk, and Lily looks at him confused as I roll my eyes. "I noticed it when we were sparring too, we were both holding back, but it felt like she was really holding back. I didn't realise the scale
of it though until just now, but as soon as I told her not to hold back up there, I knew she had more to give."
"What do you mean? She hadn't beaten you yet." Lily protests.
"Yeah, but it's just a feeling, and instinct. The feeling that she's more skilled than me. I mean I didn't give up, a less skilled fighter can still win against a more-skilled fighter, but it was the basic understanding that she is more skilled." Jay
explains.
"Damn it Jay, how come you just explained what I've been trying too for weeks in a couple of sentences." I scowl sighing, before looking back at Lily. "But it's exactly that. So I held back, because I knew I could beat him, and didn't want to hurt him.
He however, did not hold back at all. That's what I've been trying to get you to understand, when you're the less experienced fighter, you can't hold back if you want any chance of winning."
Her brow is furrowed, and I can tell she's seeing the sense in the words, but reluctance reigns through her, and I sigh. She still hates me, and she's so stubborn she doesn't want to see the sense.
"I don't expect you to all of a sudden start talking to me again, just think on it will you. You're not bad enough to be cut, it's just a waste of time." I say, turning my shoulder, about to leave.
"But you were going to hurt him, today. Weren't you? When you had your legs around his neck." I hear her final protest, and I consider speaking my true thoughts. I doubt that would go down well.
"You're not the only one who tries forself-improvement Lily, everyone here is trying to get better." I say illusively, before ignoring her next protest and walking out of the hall.
12321
After morning fights, I spend the afternoon with the dauntless-born, who drag me on a different part of the cliff face and they shove me off the top, and I only just manage to grab a handhold around halfway down, before looking back up and glaring with
a smirk.
A fun afternoon, to be sure.
But it's after dinner, when I realise today seems to be a good day for confrontations.
"Hey Avery, you going back to the dorms?" Ben comes up from behind me and I shake my head in avoidance.
"Nah, I was going to check out some tattoo designs, I think I want another one sometime soon." I lie seamlessly, but he just grins back.
"I'll come with you, I might as well think for my next after we get our points this month." He says and I smile lightly before we start walking. No way of getting out of this now.
"Brilliant fight as usual, I never thought anyone would be able to take down Jay like that." He compliments and I smile tight lipped.
"It wasn't easy, Jay is first ranked, and for a good reason." I say, if this is going to happen I might as well make conversation. "You won yours as well though, congrats, we've both been going through reasonably smoothly."
"Thanks, though I could never measure up to you with knives, I'm still struggling. Maybe you could help me out sometime." He says jokingly, so I shrug slightly.
"Well, you seem to be doing fine. Hopefully once Lily sorts herself out we may actually all have a chance of passing, just depends on the Dauntless-born I guess." I reply easily.
"Of course. I wouldn't mind doing some training with you though, I could help you out with gunwork in return, though you're not bad at that anyway." Ben brings it up again, and I can see straight through him.
"Sure, if we find time. Just come stand by me in training, Jay can give you tips on the parts I'm not great at, you seem to be more for the strength side of things rather than speed." I answer smoothly, quickly bringing in other people to desensitise
it. But there's a wash of anticipation through me. He was a Candor after all.
"Avery, I know I haven't exactly been secretive about it, I'm sure either Jay's told you or some of the others or something but-"
"Ben, as much as you're good company, I don't think I can get myself into anymore business within our group, Lily's been enough work for me as it is, and you know I'm much less well versed on these social interactions as you guys." I interrupt smoothly,
and we enter the tattoo parlour and I pretend to look over designs.
"What do you mean business? I like you, and just want to spend more time with you." Ben says honestly, and I'm sensitive enough to look at him as he confesses, and attempt to smile sadly.
"Ben, you can't look at me straight and say Beth isn't affected by this. She's been off around me for weeks, and you hadn't even confessed to me." I say honestly, and he looks away, slight irritation in his eyes.
"You don't need to worry about Beth, she's not part of this." He says, and I restrain showing visible signs of cringing. Part of this, there is no this, honestly.
"What happened between you two that made her so indifferent towards me then, because the way I see it, something you did cost her friendship with me, so I should be mad at you." I challenge him, and his mouth opens as he obviously scrambles for an answer.
"She likes me, but I like you, isn't it obvious?" He says, but rubs his hand against his leg and I can't stop my light laugh.
"You haven't been out of candor that long Ben, you're a shit liar." I state, and he sighs.
"Okay, well it's basically that though! I'm not lying." He argues, and I raise an eyebrow.
"I'm not accusing you Ben, what goes on between you and her isn't my business, and though I miss her friendship it's not like she's started a feud against me so it doesn't bother me. But there's something more, and I'd place my bets on the fact you were
heavily making out if not more not that long ago." I say pointedly, and he looks around nervously.
"Look, I was drunk, and we fooled around, she took it as something more."
"So you don't like her at all? Jay, Lily and I were placing bets on when you'd get together, not to mention you two were still quite cosy after that night." I say, calling bullshit.
"It didn't come out that I liked you till a bit afterwards, and I do like her, she's witty, and brave, but you're just…" He trails off, and I face him square on.
"I'm flattered Ben, and though you're great company I can't say I return your feelings, I think it's been pretty obvious I'm not really for that right now. Plus I don't want to hurt Beth anymore." I tell him honestly.
"You got cosy enough with Leon that night." Ben says before he can stop himself.
"I had more to drink than you did, remember." I say, though that definitely was not the reason I danced like that that night. "And in all honestly, I don't see any reason you would like me, Beth is much more suited to you."
"Why I would like you? You're so strong, how you survived capture the flag, your fighting,yoursniping!" He starts and I laugh slightly.
"Those are things I can do, Ben. What about the fact I illusively lie or that I prefer my own company to most? I know for a fact you haven't seen enough of me to like me, and it sounds to me as though you like the idea of me. Go talk to Beth, you'll find
you enjoy her company much more." I finish, before putting the design I was holding down, and striding quickly out of the parlour before Ben could bring enough words together to call me back.
That was exhausting. At least it's over, hopefully I won't have to deal with that again.
As I struggle my way through the crowd of the pit I let my feet wonder, but as soon as I get to a deserted corridor I'm swept into the alcove I was heading to, caught up in someone's arms.
The scent of oak warms me as my face is pressed lightly against the material of a shirt, and my arms are trapped between my chest and his.
"That seemed like a fun rejection." It's a dull murmur as I'm rocked lightly in his arms and I chuckle slightly.
"Of course you were listening…mmm, wouldn't have it been fun if I told him sorry, but I'm waiting for a Dauntless leader to fuck me." I tease lightly, looking up to Eric's face. It's been too long since I've gazed at him. Every time he's in training I
watch Four, not him, and even though we had sniping yesterday it was uncomfortably detached, and I didn't say a word except 'Yessir'.
"I wouldn't have minded the warning." He remarks, before bringing a hand up from my waist to tilt my face towards him. "How do you feel about your fight?"
I force myself to keep eye contact, as my lips downturn at the memory, and my jaw tenses.
"I was careless. Huh, maybe I'd been thinking about Lily too much, I didn't want to hold back against Jay, I thought he deserved the challenge." I murmur, scolding myself. "Normally it's easy to remember I could just kill them."
"I wasn't sure of it watching… break the neck?" He questions lightly and I nod, before reaching my arms around his neck and breathing in deeply, relishing his hold.
"Maybe it's been my lack of sparring difficult opponents recently, who knows… it was instinct, and I don't know why, he wasn't even attacking me. It would've come in handy against Kasper." I tell him honestly as his hands start stroking up and down my
sides comfortably.
"Treat it as a reminder, though I doubt you'll have a problem anymore." Eric tells me, before we lapse into silence and my hands start threading through his hair.
"…it hasn't been a week and I miss you." I admit softly, and I hear him murmur in acknowledgement as I begin tracing around his ears. "We can make it five more weeks."
"Mmhmm, last month will get more interesting, I promise." His breath plays on my ear and I shiver, but take note of his words with interest. "I don't like not being able to touch you." Suddenly his hands have flipped underneath my top, and warm hands
caress the skin of my back. I tilt my head up and nudge his head away from my neck, before reaching up on my toes to kiss his lips. He returns, with weight, but we both stubbornly keep our mouths closed, as I just enjoy our closeness as we kiss.
As I pull back, I reach onto my tip-toes, and lightly peck the tip of his nose before taking a firm step back.
I can't think of anything to say as I turn to leave, but my eyes don't leave his heavy stare until a wall blocks him.
12321
The next days pass as the others did, with only training in between. There were things I noticed though, the number of glares from Lily decreased, and Beth definitely seemed more comfortable around me. She wasn't any closer to Ben, but I stopped caring
for their ups and downs.
What I'm glad about really, is Jay's complete ignorance to our fight. Nothing's changed at all in our conversations, or our jokes, and that's the best thing.
The cold professionalism between Eric and I, no matter how painful, carried on smoothly through our three sniping sessions, as I gained consistency as we went over easy shots and some much more complex shots. I noticed Lily moving on, just as Four had
originally said, and as the next fights roll up, I wonder who I'll fight. Mickey is still out of action, so I could potentially not fight, though opponents I haven't faced include Ben, Beth and Lily, which doesn't look very happy at all.
But I should've guessed really, fate seemed to be guiding the way as each week progressed, as I walked into the training room, a deep breath and exhale followed as I took note of the pairings.
Avery x Lily
"Excited much?" Four questions me with a raised eyebrow as I'm still the only one arriving fifteen minutes early.
"Not particularly." I reply, perching myself on the edge of the table next to him. "Sorry, by the way. I kind of dumped her whining on you in sniping sessions."
Four chuckles, and observes my half smirk. "Well you didn't choose to. Imagine if it were the other way round."
I laugh fully, out loud as I imagine Lily being taught by Eric, and being thrown off the side of the building as soon as she opened her mouth. "That would be fun!"
"Yeah, well while she's with me could you get a little worse? It's extremely disconcerting how good you are with that gun you know?" Four teases me and I can't help but smile.
"Sorry, I guess my level concentration comes at the price of your fast depreciating patience." I answer, but take the compliment. "Beth's sitting out… Jay will win Ben, Tom will win Lottie, Zander will win Isobel. Honestly I don't know what those two
girls are doing." I say, surmising my predictions of the fights. Four shrugs, then look up to me.
"And yours?"
"You may want to find some pillows and take a nap."
"Great." Four drawls sarcastically, before I see Jay, Ben, Beth and Lily walk in, and he walks off to the side. It's rather interesting to see Lily's shocked face as she sees her opponent.
There's tight chatter as the others arrive, as Ben has his tone clipped as he talks to Jay, who answers with steely resolve, and Lily is blaringly quiet as Beth talks to her.
"Jay, Ben, let's get this started." Four says with a light sigh, and the two boys nod to each other before moving into the ring as Eric walks onto the scene.
It was an easy prediction, as Jay hauls Ben out of the ring, being both stronger and quicker, but I doubt Ben will lose his fourth place by the end of month rankings. May even move up since I beat Kasper early in the month.
"Lily, Avery, let's go." Four says, raising his eyebrows at me as I sigh lightly.
"Let's do this then." I say, and as I take a step into the ring, nothing happens. As usual, I don't even bother with a defensive stance as I watch my opponent, who just looks at me warily.
"Did you hear anything Jay said last week?" I question impatiently. "Or are you just going to hold back?"
"Argh!" She shouts as she runs at me, and I duck smoothly past her and block her neck flurry of hits with my arms, barely feeling the weak force I know she's relinquishing to. It goes on for half a minute till I get bored, and with the slip of my foot
she trips onto the floor, barely stopping before going out of the mat.
I move to the opposite corner and face her again, beckoning with my fingers as I see her getting angry.
"You're crazy." She exclaims, before moving in again, and I slide out of the way of her average hits, blocking where I need. She's hitting with a slight improvement in strength, but barely noticeable really, and as he stance slips one of her punches slips
to my torso, but it doesn't even jog me.
Once again, I get sick of it, and realise, it'll take more than this to get her fighting. I stick my foot out in the same move and she stumbles behind me, and as I hear her get up and launch towards my back I duck, and let my foot trip her again and add
in a shove to the back of her shoulder so she falls to the floor.
"What's your problem?" She yells at me, and I meet her slightly fired up look with cool indifference.
"Mine? I'm slowly beating an opponent who isn't even trying, it's a little boring really." I mock loudly, and though her ears colour the look in her face gets that much more desperate.
"Tripping me up won't get me to lose!" She says, obviously irritated.
"No? But doesn'ttripping mean you're losing?" I did my words in honey with an amused smirk, and she can't help but run at me, knocking a significantly harder hit to my block, but I know she's not lost it yet. If she'd had lost it she wouldn't be
aiming for my torso, I've told her better than that.
So I trip her again, and this time she stutters to the floor, and stays on her hands and knees as I circle her, before cocking my hip slightly and crossing my arms.
"Honestly," I scoff, crafting a perfect sneer as I remember her scornful glares at me through our arguments. "I thought the Dauntless knew how to weed out cowards before they even got on the train, or even better having missed the jump! How on earth did
such a wimp even get into the compound?"
I see the anger on her face as she looks up to me towering over her, and in anticipation for her fight back I widen my stance with a smirk as I see her true rage.
"You bitch!" She yells, literally launching up to aim a harsh uppercut to my jaw which I duck, but after stepping out of a good number of hits from her there's a sudden jolt to the back of my knee, followed by a harsh uppercut under my arm.
My eyebrows raise, pleasantly satisfied as I punch her solidly in the shoulder, shoving her back enough to get a good few paces between us.
"Well it's good to know you've still been training without me." I mutter casually, and as I look back at her, I can almost see flames in her eyes.
"FIGHT BACK!" She yells with all her might, and as she pursues me for the last time, a happy smile reaches my lips. Finally.
I duck and slide smoothly out of the way, broadening my area of awareness as I keep an eye out for the attack of the lower body I taught her, and any elbowing that she's particularly good at.
But alas, something about this drawn out argument has got to me, and I need something more substantial.
I block her next punch with my arm, taking the almost shocking force before launching my own hit to her solar plexus, which she blocks. I barely lift my other arm in time to block her aim to my jaw, and absorb her kick to my lower thigh.
We trade hits, and I do actually find myself surprised at her strength, having never fought her, well having never seen her truly fight. I give her my own fists, and though I land more on her body, one firm on her shoulder, two healthily into her side
and one just into the underside of her arm, I can feel the muscle of my arms bruising with the force they've absorbed from blocking, and my collar throbs from where she hit me.
And when I next meet eyes with her, I can't help it. The sight of her eyes alight with purpose, and crease of concentration on her forehead, and the smile of action on her lips, I smile successfully too.
But I'm no abnegation, and there's no way I'm letting her win.
So her next punch I duck, grab her arm and yank her forward onto her knees and quickly send my fist straight into her temple, and she's out.
"You done?" Four calls out and I turn to him with a smile.
"All good."
Another chapter finally up! I know I missed a week, but I've had exams, and I honestly didn't have any time at all (TT) but I hope I compensated with this long chapter! Not to mention so many events finally happened! Ben finally got that off his chest, and Lily and Avery are on the mend. If anyone managed to catch the hint towards the next part of physical I'm introducing, good for you but it's something completely new, but I have to find a way for it to fail cos it's not in Tris' initiation! Anyway, I hope everyone enjoyed this chapter, read and review as always!