Chapter 6 Far From Home

A few weeks have passed since my… conversation, with Koenma. After running off and contemplating my options for many hours after, I decided the best thing for me to do, the best option for everyone, is if I withdraw myself from them. I worked myself up to it for a week after the initial decision, allowing myself one more week at the human school before finalizing my decision. It's really not safe for me to be around anyone… And, with my anxiety rising more and more every day that my father has not made a move to pluck me up from my new life here, I'm a ticking time bomb.

I've convinced everyone, Yusuke and Kuwabara at least, that I have found a place to stay, and that I'd rather them not visit out of fear of them being even further linked to me. My father hired them, but I don't know if he is aware that they've put a target on him in return. Fools. Kurama on the other hand- his human family is convinced, but I'm not so sure about him. I can see the look in his eyes whenever I tell him I'm headed 'home'. I've given my number to everyone at this point… it's not like they can't get ahold of me if they need to.

I found a forest just outside the local park's limits that suits my fancy. If you go deep enough, there are giant camphor trees surrounding a small outlet from a river that flows through the forest. It's a big enough clearing for me to find solace with the small breezes and echoes of the birds hopping from tree to tree. I've been able calm myself down, and so, I'm thoroughly enjoying myself. It almost reminds me of home when I would be sent on 'missions' by my father and would camp out in the woods for long periods of time. My only solace, at the time.

A rustle from below the tree I was drifting off in grabs my attention. I gently perch myself on the large branch, glancing below me. There is a rather small woman below me, her faded pink hair blowing slightly with the breeze. Her head snaps up and our eyes make contact. She only frowns, and tilts her head to the side slightly, folding her hands behind her back. I return her frown, and fall off of the branch, landing gently in front of her. She seems to be human, a human along in her age, but all the same I get a feeling that she is not to be trifled with.

"Girl, you have been staying in my forest all week." She states, eyeing me up and down. She glances up in the tree, probably noticing my bag hanging loosely from a small broken branch.

"I wasn't aware these woods belong to anyone."

"Of course they do. Nothing is free." She quips, bringing her eyes back down to me slowly.

I smile, "Isn't that the truth." I bow slightly, "My apologies. I should have known better. I mean no harm to you or your land. I meant no disrespect." The woman nods, and continues to stare at me. "I'll take my bag and leave."

"Not so quickly, girl. You're obviously in need of a place to stay. My home and dojo are not far from here."

I purse my lips, and tilt my head to the side slightly. A generous offer, but the reason I'm out here by myself to begin with is to keep others out of danger. I've actually been enjoying my little set up, here. "That's a very generous offer, however…" I pause, straightening up and running a hand through my hair, "I don't think it wise. It's best I leave you and your land. I don't want to cause any unnecessary trouble for you." I turn towards the tree, and run up the large trunk enough to grab my bag, then let myself fall gently back to the ground.

"What kind of trouble could you possibly bring to me? You underestimate me." She sounds stern, and folds her arms on her chest, frowning at me again.

"And, you downplay the danger a complete stranger could bring to your doorstep." I say pointedly, a wave of annoyance at her insistence washing over my face. She smirks at me then, and turns away.

"It's this way." She says over her shoulder. I purse my lips and cross my arms.

"Lady, I'm not following you."

"It's a 15 minute walk." I can hear the smugness in her voice, and frown.

"You keep on and you're going to come back here tomorrow to a fucking house built in your stupid forest."

She stops and turns then, fake surprise on her face, "Oh, so you do bite."

I give her an exasperated expression, "What?"

"It's going to rain tonight, please allow me to offer you a nights stay. Then we can speak about your staying on my land uninvited for a weeks time." I squint at her, giving her an exasperated eye-over. I mean, I was trespassing on her land… How did she even know? I've barely left a print here.

"Fine."

Her dojo is large and very well maintained. It's surrounded by many different varieties of Japanese maples and weeping willows. I smile as a small breeze tickles my cheeks and whips through my hair, blowing it gently behind me as we climb the small hill leading to it. She glances at me, and a small smile breaks across her lips before she turns back around, pushing open the doors.

She brings tea into what I am assuming is the living area, and hands me a small cup. I take it, bowing a thank you, and take a seat on a nearby mat. It's a very traditional setting. I stare at the tea, watching steam coming off of it. I hate tea. The woman sits down across from me, and takes a sip of her tea. "What is your name, girl?"

I peer wearily at her, wondering if I should lie or not. "What is yours?' I ask calmly.

"Genkai."

I raise my eyebrows at this. Well I'll be damned. I'm in the presence of yet another exotic human, a powerful psychic at that. She forfeited the information so easily, though. Either she has grown too trusting in her age or she knows something I don't… or she honestly doesn't fear me. "And, don't lie about who you are, girl. You've already invaded my privacy, do not ruin my trust."

I sigh and take a sip of my tea, closing my eyes at the bitterness. I love strong drinks, but this shit sucks. I roll my shoulders, and crack my neck, letting the warmth of the tea take a little edge off, regardless. "Amaryllis."

"Well met, Amaryllis. Now, explain why you were trespassing."

"Well,..." I take another forced sip, and look around the room we are in. Sunlight is shining through the two large windows, casting soft shadows on us both. It's a very simple room, with an incense burner and a table in the corner of the room with a couple of chairs. I let my eyes fall onto her, looking at her in a new light now that I know who she is. A thought suddenly crosses my mind, and my eyes narrow on her. If this really is Genkai, then she knows Yusuke. She trained the boy. Why does everyone know everyone here?

"Nowadays, I enjoy my solitude. I happened to need it more than ever, recently. I found the clearing and figured it was a good spot to camp out for a while. I didn't think I would be noticed." I just have to feign ignorance of who she is. "Like I said, I'll find somewhere else to stay. I hope you can accept my apology."

She places her cup down in front of her, and folds her arms, "Who are you running from, girl? I'm not a fool." I sit up straight, and place my own cup on the ground slowly. A wave of annoyance slams through me again, and I have to fight to keep my face from scrunching up into a scowl at her insistence.

"I'm not taking you for one. I'm just trying to keep to myself, and you insisted I come here."

"Whoever you are hiding from will eventually find that you were staying on my land. So it's now my business." Point taken. I let the scowl cross my face. Slowly but surely over the past few months, my business has become everyone's business.

"I'm having family problems. My friends think I've found a new apartment, but I haven't. I've camped in woods on many occasions, and I can handle myself, so I figured it the best spot to stay. And, it was also presumably free at the time." I manage to say through clenched teeth. "And, let me point out, if you hadn't brought me here, you probably would not have been indicated. So, that is your own damn fault. Not mine."

She looks peeved, "What kind of family problems would cause you to hide in a forest?"

"The kind that make you want to hide, I suppose." I growl, my annoyance seething. I eye the nearby window. It looks increasingly inviting.

She sighs and shakes her head, "I'm not upset with you, Amaryllis. If I was, I would have done something about you as soon as I felt you entering and leaving the barrier surrounding these woods."

"I definitely wasn't worried about that, believe me." I huff, folding my arms. A barrier? That explains a lot.

She stands, tea cup in hand and goes to leave the room. "You are welcome to stay here or where on my land for as long as you need…" With a quick flick of her wrist, the tea cup is suddenly flying through the air at me. I catch it and angrily throw it back at her. She catches it with a smug smile.

"Here, let me throw mine at you- it still has boiling hot fucking tea in it. That'll melt that fucking smile off your face." I stand, cup in hand, and grab the cup out of her hands, heading towards what I presume is the kitchen. "All you had to do was ask. I'll fucking clean it."

She doesn't say anything, only continues to smile, which makes my blood pressure rise. I angrily begin cleaning out the cups. Lady offers me a place here for a night then suddenly throws her goddamn teacup at me. This is why I hate tea parties. They always turn fucking violent. If she wanted me to do her dishes she could have just asked.

"You have decent reflexes."

"You threw a teacup at me." I say pointedly, tossing them roughly into the drying rack.

"You need to learn to control your temper, girl."

"It's served me well my entire life. I don't need control when people know not to test me." I growl, turning towards her. She is leaning against the door frame, still smiling smugly at me. I notice my phone in her hands. She holds it up, and Yusuke's name is on the screen- having just sent me a text. I groan and have to stop myself from kicking something. "I swear to God, lady. You tell him I'm here and-"

"You'll what? Break my teacups? Build a house in my backyard? How many times must I inform you that I am no fool. There is more to your hiding than you let on. There is more to you in general than you let on. I'll respect your privacy for now, as I feel you are no threat to me. And, a friend of Yusuke's is generally good company." She seems overly amused as I stand before her fuming. "I'm guessing he and Kuwabara are the friend's you were referencing?"

"Among others, but yes." I answer begrudgingly. Why has everyone been able to one up me recently? I watch her wearily as she gestures for me to follow her, and I do so silently. She leads me to a room she labels my bedroom, and hands me a few towels and blankets, and leaves me to my own devices. Just like that. She has to know more about me and my situation then she lets on… there is no way anyone can be this trusting- especially with her reputation as a hard ass.

I've come to an agreement with Genkai, that I would help take care of the dojo during my stay. I mean, it's the most I can do while I'm taking up space here. She hasn't mentioned my barely leaving the dojo, either. Ever since the mild conversation we had on the very first day, I've backed into a position of submission and just keep to myself. And, for the most part, it seems she is respecting my silence. However, today, I can feel her eyes on me more than usual.

I'm sweeping the leaves and dirt off the the outside patio to the dojo into the nearby grass… a task that would be much quicker if I could just use my power. I sense Genkai approaching, and look up, giving her a small smile and wave, and continue sweeping the last of the leaves. She stops a few feet from me, and stands silently. I look up again, and tilt my head. She gestures for me to follow her as she passes me, heading towards the back of the dojo. The back overlooks a large clearing. The clearing is made up of green grass and giant trees that line the outside. The closer to the dojo, the more they taper off into smaller trees and flowering bushes of some sort. I come out here a lot, either sitting in the trees or sitting on the porch of the dojo, overlooking the field. Genkai leans against a wooden post at the edge of the porch. I lean against the wall of the dojo facing her.

"You know, you are free to leave any time you would like. I'm not keeping you captive." She starts.

I shrug, unable to admit to her that I feel safer here. There is also something serene and calming about being here. From watching Genkai's morning meditation and training, to the sight of the night sky, untouched by city lights above her dojo. It may also be the fact that I feel a lot safer here than I have anywhere else. She informed me that the barrier she has put around here is to keep tabs on energy signatures inside and to warn her whenever anyone is getting too close to the barrier… or has gone across the barrier. It's my little warning signal…

"What is keeping you from leaving, then?" She doesn't betray any emotion as she looks me over.

"Because, it's better here than going home."

"Where is home?"

I tilt my head, and look at her. "That's what I've been trying to figure out." I look towards the clearing, the autumn sky is starting to gray over with dark clouds. "I'm finding the clarity here that I've needed for a very long time inside your barriers, Genkai." I furrow my brows after saying this, realizing that I sounded like I was trying to plea my case to her- like I was begging her to let me stay.

Genkai nods, a smile tugging at the edge of her lips as if I had just said what she expected. "You look calmer than you did when you first arrived."

"I guess." Calmer, yes. But, I've never felt more alone. I've texted everyone plenty, even talked on the phone. I've grown closer to Yusuke and Kuwabara without even having to see them. I've also spoken with Kurama on the phone every day. We're communicating, and yet I feel as if I'm pushing them away at the same time. "Genkai, I'm a fucking mess." I'm the shit in a shit sandwich.

"I know." She smiles, and follows my eyes to the clearing. I swallow hard and shake my head, side glancing at her. "You will soon come to a point where you will need to stop chasing what you've lost and focus on what is to come." How does she know what is on my mind?

"I know. It's just…" I push off the wall and sit on the porch next to her, spreading my legs out in front of me. I swallow hard, and grip the edge of the porch in an attempt to keep myself calm. "There's a lot that has happened. A lot that I've realized, since Yusuke came into my life, that I'm not so sure I can handle as well as I had previously thought. I've spent a handful of years trying to get the fuck over what my dad did- but I can't. I know what I have to do to start the process…" I pause and dig at the ground with the heel of my foot, feeling my heart rate go up.

"What is stopping you?" I look up at her, my eyes squinted in an attempt to stop my frustrating tears. This topic is already difficult to think about let alone speak of.

My father is standing above me, staring down at me without emotion. I can't help but lay here in my bed, sheets tucked around me. I'm scared at this point, worried, and anxious. I've never been this sick before. Everything feels so wrong, and I feel like death. My stomach is churning, moaning, and causing me to wreath in pain every once in a while. The pain is so great it causes me to throw up just as often. How can he stand above me like this?

"Father… I don't know what's going on… I think I might have brushed something on my last run…" I mutter, my voice feels raspy, broken by my sore throat. He just stares down at me, a glint of disdain in his eyes.

"Yes. That must be it. I have someone making herbal droughts for you. I suggest you take them."

I nod solemnly, unsure and worried that I won't be able to hold them down. This is all so odd. I am usually so careful on the runs I am sent on. I don't drink anything unless it's what I brought, and same with my food. Youko will be worried… we are supposed to leave within the next few days. He has everything ready, and plans set. I feel so confident that this will work… but this sickness…

"Thank you, father…" I mutter in a haze, closing my eyes. Something feels so...wrong.

"You have no idea how welcome you are…" I hear him whisper as he turns to leave.

"Because it requires a conversation that I'm not sure I can have with… uh… Yusuke's friend… Shuichi." Almost spilled the beans there.

"Shuichi?" Genkai raises an eyebrow, a knowing smile on her face.

"Yes?" A familiar male voice answers. I jump to my feet and stumble off of the porch in one fail swoop, landing on my butt. Kurama is standing on the far end of the porch, an innocent and alluring smile on his face. He greets Genkai, who is chuckling at me as I stand and cross my arms. "Amaryllis." He greets, a smile in his voice.

I look between him and Genkai and growl, "Go fuck yourselves. You knew this whole fucking time didn't you, Kurama? Bastard fox." I'm flustered and pissed that I've been caught off guard.

"Genkai you knew this fox-prick was on his way? You knew who I was this whole time?"

"He had just finished asking me for assistance with hiding you. He also promised that you didn't bite, which I have proven to be a falsity." I stare at them both, lips pursed.

"So yes? You did?" I throw my hands in the air.

"You didn't seem like you wanted me to know who you were, so I respected that." She states, pushing off of the pillar and placing her arms behind her. "I asked Kurama to come here today, because I was tired of the facade and of you moping around." She begins to walk away, nodding at Kurama as she passes me, "I'll leave you two be."

"I hope you get third degree burns in your mouth from that shitty ass tea!" I yell as she turns the corner. I point an angry finger at Kurama as he gives me his best smile. I reel back slightly, giving him a look. "You can't just smile like that and expect it… to work…" He grabs my hand and pulls me into a tight embrace. What's this now?

"Kurama, what are you-" He silences me with a sweet kiss on the lips, causing a blush to warm my cheeks and my golden eyes to widen. "Youko?"

"Ama, I've been waiting to embrace you since the day I realized it was you four years ago." He looks hesitant, unsure as he tilts his head to the side. "Was… that okay?"

My mouth is agape, and I continue to stare at him wide eyed, only inches away from him. "What?" I feel tears rush towards my eyes and I shake my head. "Why just...now?" I think to what Genkai said about the barrier, and I feel my shoulders relax. It's because we are guaranteed to be the only ones here due to Genkai's barrier? I reach up and put my hands through his silky red hair, and pull him back to me, smashing my lips onto his. His soft lips move against mine; a small pleasurable hum escapes his lips. He puts a hand on the small of my back and pulls my body closer to his as he wraps his other hand behind my neck. A warmth spreads from my gut and throughout my entire body. Warm tears force their way down my flushed cheeks.

Kurama gently pulls away, letting his emerald eyes bore into mine. "Are you okay?"

"No." I whisper, placing a hand on his cheek. "But, I will be." I close my eyes and swallow hard, wiping my eyes clear of tears with my hands. "Youko… I don't want to get you hurt. I already almost got you killed once…"

He furrows his brows, shaking his head, "Amaryllis. It's different now. I'm not the young fool I was then. I'm no longer weak."

"Youko, you were never weak…"

"I was, Amaryllis. And, because of that weakness, you were sentenced to a life that you didn't want." He says with mirth, scowling. He lets go of me, and steps away.

"I chose to stay for you, Youko. I chose for both of us. I would have rather spent my life at my father's side versus knowing you lost your life because of me." I grab his hand and pull him back gently. This is a conversation I never foresaw myself having.

The lights are off in my room, the only light being from the full moon shining through my bedroom windows. Youko is watching over me as I double check my small leather backpack. A few pieces of jewelry, a few articles of clothing, some herbs…

"Are you about finished?" Youko shifts against the wall he is leaning on, raising an eyebrow. I throw an exasperated look at him and he shrugs. I pull the strings on the backpack, and throw it over my shoulder, winking at him. He grins, and I walk him to the large wooden doors of my room. He turns quickly as he approaches it and pulls me into a kiss. I smile against his lips after a few seconds.

"Youko…"

"Ama, stop worrying."

"Stop downplaying what we are about to do…" I say, a worried expression plastered on my face. He rubs a thumb across my lips and puts his forehead against mine, with his eyes closed.

"You mean the world to me, Ama." He whispers, opening his eyes and peering into mine.

"You're my gravity, Youko. You always have been… I'm just so worried about what will happen if we fail."

"You mean if I fail." He whispers, a pensive look in his eyes. He pulls me into a tight embrace. He lays his cheek on the top of my head, and a shiver goes up and down my back. "Ama… you are the first person I've ever felt this way for, and you will be my last. There will never be another you for me. You are a lifetime… you are my life."

I look up, trying to look him in the face, but he has already pulled away and is darting down the hall. Does he also have a bad feeling about all of this? My stomach is twisting and churning, as I jump out of the window. I've never been so afraid in my life. I make my way for the large stone walls that surround my father's keep and jump up into a nearby blossoming tree. Maybe I should have insisted I go with him… but if my father had the stone on him, it would not have gone well. Youko is the better suited for thievery- having been trained to be a little sneak his whole life. If he has to, he can just sneak right back out, even empty handed.

All of a sudden, there is a piercing pain throughout my entire body, like someone had set my veins aflame. I fall off of the branch I had been perched on, and hit the ground hard.

"Well, well. My fucking whore of a daughter." A low growl says from above me. More pain surges through me, and I scream at the top of my lungs as it gets worse and worse. My father is standing above me, the very gem Youko went after in hand. "You think me a goddamn fool?" The pain is unbearable, tears are streaking down my cheeks, screams continue to escape from deep within me. "You thought I wouldn't see what was going on? That I'd just let you run off with that fucking conniving fox?"

There is a flash of silver from the corner of my eyes, and I suddenly hear my father scream out. The pain stops for a split second, but I'm unable to move from exhaustion. I glance at my father from the ground and see a fresh gash across his right eye, and a very angry Youko. Once my father recovers, he faces Youko, and the fight is on.

Endox easily kills off every plant Youko throws at him with a wave of his hand. The aggravation only makes Youko attack faster and harder with very skilled attacks and tricks. He lands many good punches, but Endox quickly grows tired of the fray, and turns his powers onto Youko- picking him off of the ground using the air around him, choking him.

"Ignorant thief- you're stealing from the wrong man. You think I'd let you get away with deflowering my daughter? And, having the balls to attempt to steal from me?" He's going to kill him. Youko isn't strong enough to withstand my father's power… we were fools to think we could beat him.

"Father let him go!"

"Shut your fucking mouth!" He squeezes the gem in his free hand. I gasp at the pain, but keep my head raised.

"Father, please! I'll stay! I won't leave. Please just don't -" He squeezes the gem again, silencing me. He bares his fangs at Youko. I shoot my hand towards the two of them, a gust of wind sliding against the ground, ripping through the earth. It hits my father, who seems surprised by the force of it, and he loses his concentration, dropping Youko. "YOUKO, RUN!"

"I will not lose you this time, Amaryllis." His eyes are pleading and boring into mine.

"Youko that girl you knew back then isn't here anymore- I've changed."

"We both have, Amaryllis. And, yet. Here we are." He gestures to us both. I shake my head and look at the ground. He is right. All the bullshit we've both been through, and fate has decided to bring us to this very moment. Standing in front of one another

"I don't need your protection. What I need is for everyone to just leave me alone. Too many people have lost their lives because of me. I've heard the stories of your strength, Kurama. And, I can feel the energy roll off of you even in your human form."

"Then, dammit, Amaryllis. Stop being so stubborn! Stop pushing us away. Stop pushing me away." He looks hurt, and I wince at the desperate expression on his face. "You're grasping at air, now, Ama. You have no direction and are reaching the end of your rope. Endox is going to find you eventually and there will be absolutely nothing you can do about it." He growls with frustration; his eyes are flashing golden at this point.

"He will drag you back, and I'll be damned if I don't come and get you this time. And, it'll be on your neck if something happens at that point, because you refused to let anyone help and it came to that." He sounds far from the calm and collected Shuichi he lives his day to day life as, and more like the Youko I was used to.

"Okay, then. What if he comes here right now, then?" I'm shaking at the thought, anger ripping through my veins. "Hounds and all. Stone in hand."

"As long as you don't transform, he can't use that stone on you, Ama-"

"Exactly! You can handle all of those hounds yourself? If he shows up with Merde, or with Marun? You'll handle a small army by yourself?" I swallow hard. Merde is my cousin, watcher and head of the hounds. Marun- my father's closest companion and head of his own clan of wolves… my fiance, has control of fire. The perfect breeding match. I'm not sure if Kurama is aware. "And, once he finds out that you're Youko- what will happen to your human family if he really has had spies watching me? Huh? Are you going to just split into 5 fucking people and protect everyone? Marun is relentless."

"Unlike you, Ama, I'm not afraid to make alliances. I'm able to realize when a situation requires assistance." He growls through gritted teeth. "Why do you insist Marun would care as much as you say?"

"Because, I've been set to marry the dirty bastard." I hiss, clenching my fists. "All those men father threw me at were just practice it turns out. He always meant to marry me off to Marun."

I can see Kurama's eyes darken considerably and his face fall. An insanely powerful wave of energy rolls off of him, then, that frightens me. I take a step back into the wooden pillar behind me, holding myself up against it.

"Marun?" He growls. I feel myself grow weak under his gaze and lose all of the bite I had a few seconds ago.

"Youko…" I bite my lip and lean my head back against the pillar, running a hand through my hair. "Youko, I'm such a fucking mess. You have no idea what I have had to do, and what I have had to endure. It's so difficult for me to trust and rely on anyone, now. And, when I ran away to the human world, I was every bit a shattered person. I don't know what I'm doing at this point. I'm sorry." Despite seeing Kurama here in front of me, I long to see the actual Youko I remember, with his long silver hair and soft fox ears and tail. I miss that smug smirk he'd get on his face and his cocky attitude… the way his voice would get when he knew he was suggesting a crazy idea or notion.

"Did you leave because of Marun? Did he do something to you?"

I shake my head, "He was not the reason… although, you have him to thank for bringing the situation to light for me. I guess he has some kind of honor in him." I shift uncomfortably under Kurama's encouraging stare. He wants to know what exactly. I feel my hands shake a little as anxiety takes over, I clench them together in front of me and let myself slide down the post so that I'm seated on the wooden floor. The thought of ever having to tell him, if I ever even spoke to him again, always gave me anxiety. I feel clammy all of a sudden, and I can't control myself as the air around me thins and crisps.

Kurama kneels in front of me and takes my clammy and clenched hands in his own, brows furrowing when they shake slightly in his. "How can I give up chasing the past if the past keeps coming back to bite me in the ass and give me sweet kisses?" I mutter, avoiding his gaze. "Here is the biggest part of my past, right in front of me, and I can't bring myself to tell him why I jumped ship in the middle of the Antarctic because the past hurts so much I feel as if speaking of it will kill me." My word vibrate in my throat, or maybe the thinned air around us is causing an echo.

"You can tell me when you're ready, Ama." He says softly, putting a hand on my cheek. "Until then, please, please let me watch over you. Please allow me to make up for my failure." I just nod, and stare at my hands in his. They always did feel so small in his. And, when he closes them around mine, I feel caught in his snare, again.

I took apart this chapter 3 times... please leave some feedback if you think there is anything that I can improve upon or adjust. Helpful criticism is welcome! Let me know what you think! Thanks a bunch!