Emma Hope
25th July 2016
Dearest Emma,
I must say writing these letters to you is helping me remember not just the bad in my life, but also the good and the life changing events. One especially is the night I met your father and the days that followed, till we went on our first date; what that meant to me and the feelings I experienced. I could not have asked the gods for a better man to come into to my life when I least expected it. I was not looking for love at the time, but gee it was love at first sight and it scared me to death. I will tell you about the night we met and the days following, so that I hope you can get an understanding of what I was feeling and going through during that time.
I had been sitting with my friend at the bar, nearest to the front door, hoping that one of us would recognize someone entering the club we knew. It was starting to get on in the night and I knew that if I didn't leave in the next couple of hours I would be too tired to drive back to Port Angeles. Finally, around 9.30pm a couple, that my friend recognized, walked in and we watched to see which table they went to. After a few minutes, I got up the courage to follow them to the table and introduced myself to the group, I used my chat name first, then my real name.
Your father sprung from his chair, introducing himself by his chatroom tag name and can I tell you that I was just mesmerized, your father was a Greek Adonis with the sexiest copper hair and the most piercing emerald green eyes I had ever seen. I was so lost in his eyes, I could have stared at them forever and never get bored. Your father then introduced himself as Edward Cullen and proceeded to introduce everyone else before offering me a seat next to him. I was so nervous being around him, this plain girl, me, had drawn the attention of such an amazing handsome young man.
Your father seemed to understand my nerves and coached me out of my shyness by focusing on just us. it was as if we were in our own world, just talking and joking around, we just talked about everything from the weather to college and where we wanted our futures to go. All the time your father kept touching me gently, as if to make sure I was real and not running away. While I had so many emotions running through me that I did not know how to sort them out and at the time I really didn't want to. But I will say this, it was the first time ever I had wanted desperately to take your father home with me and spend the rest of the weekend intimately exploring each other's bodies.
It was starting to get late and I told your father that I would have to leave soon as I was going to drive home, at this point my friend said I could spend the night at her place and to loosen up and have fun. She admitted that I should see where things were going with your father, even though I was running scared for my life. So, I told myself, let loose, have some fun and I invited your father to dance.
We walked, hands entwined, to the dance floor and I could feel this strong electric current running from my fingers right up my hand and arm. I really did not know what to make of it. This night had been so confusing to me, I was sure it was going to take me months to understand everything that was happening. The dance floor was very crowded with the latest dance hits playing, your father found a small spot in the middle and led me there.
Wrapping his hands around my waist, and pulling my back to his chest, we started to move. It was the most erotic dance I have ever experienced. We moved to the beat of the music, but we always seemed to be in our own world where no one could touch us. I could feel your father's hot, sweet breath on the side of my neck and it was turning me on so much, I just didn't know what to do. I had never experienced being turned on so much by having a very hot man breathing on my neck or dancing so close. There was no room between us.
Then I felt your father's arousal, and knew I was having the same effect on him as he was on me. He started to sing the lyrics of the songs and my god I almost had an orgasm at his sexy, sultry velvet voice. I was lost, gone, with no return. I wanted this man, no matter the consequences, and for the first time in my life I was scared but so willing to take the chance and the possibility of having my heart broken.
At this point, your father, who appeared to be struggling to control his need to dry hump me on the dance floor, suggested we get a seat, have a break and a drink. We both ordered water, since we were driving. While your father sat on the bar stool, I stood between his legs just chatting about anything but the big white elephant in the room, the subject neither of us was willing to talk about. But the chemistry was still there we just seemed to not be able to stop touching each other, it was like a carnal, primitive need to have constant physical contact between us.
By now it was 2am and the club would be closing soon, so we went and rejoined our groups' table, where everyone was getting ready to head home for the night. Your father walked my friend and me to my car. He was amazed that the old Chevy could have made the trip to Seattle, let alone home tomorrow. But I assured him my baby was fine, she was old but reliable.
My hormones were running so high, all I wanted was to spend the night with this glorious man. But I didn't know that your father, after graduating, had moved back to his family home for the time being until he found a good job and a condo of his own.
So, I drove back to my friend's place to spend the night dreaming about your father and trying to work through what it meant that he had come into my life. I had been hurt by so many people before, that I was scared for my life of what this would mean to me, I knew deep down that this Adonis, this Greek God with coppery hair and a sexy smirk, would be my undoing if I opened myself up to a relationship with him. At the time, I did not know what he wanted from me. It was clear that he was attracted to me, but he did not say or show anything else and he did not ask me to spend the night with him.
So, the next morning, I left my friend's early after a serious talk about what I should do and her advice was to go for it! Here was this hotter than hot guy showing me attention and it seemed to be he clearly wanted me. I should see where things were going to. Throw caution to the wind and just go for it. But I was still scared and unsure of what to do, so I ran.
I got home around 2pm the next day, had a shower and some lunch, and relaxed on the couch with my laptop. I logged into the chatroom to see if Green-Eyes was there. He was not. So, I hung around the room for a while, while trying to work out my feelings for this man. During my inner-monologue I realized that Green-Eyes, your father, was the man I had always been dreaming about and this was my reason for running scared. I knew what this would mean. This was the man that was going to change my life for the better, he was the one person, in this world of pain and suffering, that would help take it all away. He would be the one that would break through all the walls I surrounded myself with to protect myself. The one person in this world who could make or break me.
So again, I did what I did best and ran. I created a new profile for the chatroom and spent the next few days stalking your father. He appeared reserved whenever I tried to chat him up, trying to see if he was like every other male that just wanted a one night stand. But no, your father did not fall for any trick I tried on him. Later, I found out from him he knew it was me all along and was not going to fall for my games. But I just didn't know what to do, I wanted him so much, but I was just too scared to say that to him. Afraid of what that would mean to me. I had worked so hard over the years to be this strong, independent woman and I could not let a man take that away from me, as so many men in the past had, it was not happening again.
By Wednesday of the next week I realized that your father was not going to play my games and logged back in under my Brown-Eyes profile and immediately your father messaged me, telling me how much he missed me and wanted to see me again. So, I suggested we have a friendly bet, a game of go-karting and the one with the slowest lap must buy the other breakfast or dinner, since we could not settle the argument of who was the better driver. Your father was convinced he was!
So, plans were made for your father to drive down to Port Angeles for the weekend while I booked the go-kart track for our race. I had walked to work that day since your father was picking me up and we would drive to the track after I finished work. During the drive to the track your father tried to show me his expertise driving skills, so to avoid bruising his fragile ego I let him go, knowing on the track I would have the speed and the skill.
We completed ten laps of the circuit and the results came in. I had the fastest lap, your father graciously congratulated me and then escorted me out to his car. The winds had picked up so your father wrapped his arms around me to keep me warm and for the first time, apart from your grandfather Charlie, I felt safe and protected from the world and I knew I was making the right decision whatever that might be. I just wanted to be wherever this amazing man was.
Your father drove us to the only open restaurant in town, a little Mexican place I had never been to. We ordered and your father told me that no matter who won the bet he planned to take me to dinner anyway, I argued the point that a bet was a bet, but he said no, I deserved a little spoiling. This man knew nothing about my life before him and in the few hours we had spent together, on two occasions, he had already decided I deserved to be spoiled. I could start to feel myself fall for him already and it terrified me.
After dinner, we headed back to my place as it was too late for your father to drive back to Seattle. I had insisted, saying the roads were not safe so late at night. Being the gentleman your father is, he begrudgingly agreed and instead he offered to take the pullout couch, since I lived in a one bedroom apartment.
I only had limited blankets, usually just enough to keep me warm, but I did not want your father to suffer from the cold whilst on the couch, so I shared some of my blankets with him and went to bed, where I tossed and turned all night, unable to sleep, thinking I had this fantastic amazing man asleep in my apartment and I feared a broken heart.
At 5am I got up to use the bathroom and when I returned your father was awake saying he was a light sleeper and heard me get up, I apologized for waking him said good night and went back to bed. After a few minutes of frustration from being unable to sleep and feeling cold, I dragged the blankets out to the Livingroom and climbed into bed with your father. He grabbed me, and wrapped himself around me, again I felt completely safe in his arms like nothing in the world could hurt me and that he would always protect me from harm. We fell right back to sleep.
When we woke again it was warm and the sun was shining, I lay there for a few minutes building up the courage to ask your father would he go out with me. After almost an hour of over-thinking and over analysing what your father's response might be and how I would handle the rejection that I knew was coming should he say no, I finally built-up enough courage to ask him to go out with me, to be my boyfriend. I could not face him when I asked. Instead of rejection, your father gently turned me around so that I was facing him, I kept my eyes turned down, I did not want him to see the tears welling in my eyes at his lack of response.
He gently tilted my head so that we were looking each other in the eyes and wrapped his hands around my cheeks bringing his face close to mine and placed his sweet lips to mine and said he would love nothing more than to date me and be my boyfriend.
So, Emma this is how our love story begins, with a scared little girl afraid of having her heart shattered bits and a wonderful gentle man coming into her life, showing her what his world could offer her with just one kiss
Till next time my beloved daughter
Love always Mum
Bella Cullen
A/N Thank you to Sherry and Carole for your continued support and thank you to all my readers you mean the world to me