Emma Hope

14th August 2016

Dearest Emma,

I guess now I should talk about your father's, and my wedding, well in this letter, tell of the days leading up to it. As so much happened and I realized that there was so much I still needed to let go of before I married your father.

A few days before the wedding everyone descended on Forks. to help with the preparations for the wedding. Angela and Ben stayed with me at Charlie's house. Charlie, being old- fashioned and a lawman, refused to allow Ben and Angela share a room, so Angela shared my twin bed and Ben got the lumpy old couch, which I am sure Charlie never updated in all my life. It still had the same decor as when my mother was here.

Speaking of my mother, with some pushing and prodding from Edward, I sent Renee an invitation to our wedding. Edward didn't want me to have any regrets in the future and he knew Charlie would not make a scene if she showed up. What Edward had trouble understanding was that I had no regrets where Renee was concerned, but like a good daughter, I sent her an invitation, which was sent back "Return to Sender", unopened. Charlie and I expected this, Edward not so much, he could not understand how a mother could not want to be at her only daughter's wedding. I will admit to you, Emma at the time I was a little hurt, but also relieved that I would not have to put up with the drama that came with having Renee around.

So, with everyone arriving at Forks we started to transform Charlie's backyard into a winter wonderland for the wedding. The tents were erected to keep the guest dry, should it decide to rain…. With it being Forks the chances of rain were high! All the tables were setup and decorated with the decorations that Esme and I had been making throughout the year. Just simple bouquets with white and blue roses tied with ribbon, in crystal vases. Esme insisted that just because the wedding was in a backyard did not mean the wedding couldn't have some class.

The inside roof of the tents was lined with fairy lights, white and blue ribbons. The backyard was really starting to come together with the woods as the backdrop, the lush green grass for the floor, the tents and tables. I was starting to get excited, but I was also starting to panic. This was really happening, I was forever going to have to work with another for the benefit of us both. I really did not know how to do that, despite the fact your father and I had been living together for almost a year. This was real, once we were married that was it.

Your father could see that everything was starting to get to me and the panic in my eyes, so he suggested to Angela that we have a girl's night out. I started to protest, saying there was still too much to do, the chapel still needed to be decorated, the caterer checked up on to be sure that they had organised the special meal requests that had been ordered. That the flowers were picked up, the cake to arrive at the house and the list went on. But your father was determined that I have a break. He knew that everything would get to me so he had a car pick Angela and I up and take us to Port Angeles, since he did not want me in Forks as he knew I would continue to stress and have a relaxing evening.

So, Angela dragged me upstairs to get ready, pushing me in the shower where she was like a drill sergeant getting me ready. By the time, I was out of the shower she had my outfit for the night picked out and was ready to start on my hair and makeup. With us ready to go and the car waiting outside, we headed off for a night of what should be fun and letting our hair down. At the time, I did not believe I would have any fun as I knew there was still too much to do in Forks. As we drove away Angela noticed a bottle of Champagne in an ice bucket with a note that read "My dearest Bella you are my life, my guiding star for ever I will follow you. We are about to make the strongest commitment any two people could make and I have no doubts in my mind that you are the one for me. So, enjoy your night, drink and be happy. The driver will be with you all night and take you wherever you want to do. Love always Edward."

So, as we drove the hour-long trip to Port Angeles, as Angela and I indulged on the Champagne, joking and talking the whole trip. Angela gushed over Edward's note, I just got all mushy and went to ring your father but realised I did not have my phone, Angela told me it was one of your father's instructions that I was not to have my phone because I would be checking up on everyone every five minutes, to see how preparations were going. Angela, of course, had her phone but refused to give it to me, stating she only had it for emergencies and that calling to thank Edward would not be classed as an emergency.

By the time, we had arrived at Port Angeles both Angela and I were very tipsy, the driver took us to a little Italian restaurant called Bella Italia where we enjoyed our meal and drank more wine. Due to our tipsiness, we were rather loud and the patrons kept giving us knowing looks, but it did not bother us as Angela said this was my hen's night, my last night to party as a single woman. Not that I ever needed it or wanted it I was happy to be at home with Edward just reading or relaxing but as usual your father was right, I did need a night away from all the stresses so that I could relax and enjoy my wedding day the next day

As the night progressed we went from bar to bar drinking, dancing and just enjoying ourselves. Many times, guys would try to talk to me, but I refused to engage them in conversation. Angela on the other hand flirted her way into getting us drinks most of the night. I just didn't feel right flirting with other guys when I had a perfectly wonderful man waiting to marry me tomorrow. Angela explained it to me that just because you had the prize bull at home did not mean you could not look over the herd. Angela explained that it was not cheating on Edward to have a conversation with a guy and allow him to buy me a drink or two as there was no way she would let it get beyond two drinks. What I did not realise at the time was that Angela was nowhere near as drunk as me. I was having too much fun, we danced the night away and by the time the last bar was closing for the night we headed back to Forks in the car. One minute I was in the back of the car talking to Angela and the next Charlie was helping me out of the car, I had no recollection of how we got home.

The next morning, I had awoken with a massive hangover and it was my wedding day. Just great! I felt like crap. The good thing was the ceremony wasn't until 4pm so I had all day to recover from last night, not that there was much that I could remember. I went downstairs and Charlie already had the coffee made, my life force for today. On the kitchen counter was a long jewellery box with an envelope with my name on it. Even through the hangover haze I knew your father was up to something.

I opened the card first and there was a note "My ever so loving soon to be wife, I hope you are not suffering too much today, I knew you needed to relax so do not blame too much on Angela. Oh, Charlie has your phone and you will not be getting it back until after we are married. I want you to relax today, so I have arranged for breakfast to be delivered for everyone, Charlie has already placed the order. Also, around mid-morning a hairstylist will arrive to do yours and Angela's hair. I know you wanted to do your own to save costs but you are my princess, my bride and deserve to be spoiled today and everyday so get used to it. Also, I have a surprise for you around lunchtime. Don't try to get it out of Charlie because he won't tell you. I love you with all my heart and can't wait to make you Mrs Edward Cullen". I had opened the box and inside was a beautiful antique diamond necklace, with a row of diamonds that formed the band, then rows of what can only be described as leaves curling up to the band. Between each set of leaves was a droplet with a heart shaped diamond, at the end of each droplet a white peal. I am so taken aback by this generous gift I start to cry. Not only was it took much but as usual your father knows me and knew I would not want anything too fancy, it was just perfect to wear with my wedding dress.

By mid-morning everyone in the house has eaten, though I was so nervous I tried to eat as much as I could to help absorb the alcohol still in my system, but it did not work very well. The stylist arrived and started working on Angela's hair while I relaxed sipping my coffee. I took this time to reflect on what I was about to do and realized that this was what I really wanted, there was no other man on this planet that was perfect for me. Yes, we would have our problems as time goes on, but he understands my needs and will always work with me.

Lunchtime had arrived with another delivered meal for everyone, and so did my surprise. I opened the front door to Esme carrying a garment bag and a smile. I asked her why she was here and not with Edward and she told me it was his idea that every bride should have their mother with them on their wedding day, I cried at his generosity to not have his mother with him as he prepares, just so that I can have a mother figure with me on our wedding day and that was how I had looked at Esme over the months leading to the wedding. She had been a massive supporter of mine and shown me what a real mother should be, she had been loving, caring and tells me often I am the daughter she never had.

Esme said to all of us "Let's get this party started "she took charge knowing full well I was stressing out about getting everyone organised, especially Charlie, who still was at a loss to know what he needed to do. So, Esme gently guided him to shower and get ready, while at the same time encouraging both Angela and myself to get ready. Once Angela was dressed and ready to go I could do nothing but stare. She looked amazing and I knew Ben will not be able to keep his hands off her tonight, I told Angela I hoped she had a room booked elsewhere tonight to which she just gave me a sly smile.

Esme clapped her hands announcing it was time for me to get dressed, then I started to freak out, what if Edward realizes I am too much work to be with and doesn't show up, what if he called off the wedding and said he doesn't really love me after all? I started to really panic and Esme could see I was about to have a full-blown panic attack, she tried everything to calm me down, even Charlie tried and nothing worked. Esme finally handed me her phone and with one word the voice from an angel I started to stop shaking, Edward had slowly and calmly reassured me that he couldn't wait to have married me, that I was everything he had ever dreamed of wanting in a woman. That he has waited all his life for me and how much he was looking forward to our future together. By this time my breathing has returned to normal and I could talk with him calmly. Once Edward knew I was calm enough to finish getting ready he told me he couldn't wait to see me at the chapel and let me go so that I can get ready.

Now calm, Esme and Angela helped me into my dress and veil. Esme cried and said I was the most beautiful bride ever, which I doubt but I did not tell her that. She said she couldn't wait to see Edward's reaction. Now dressed, and excited to get this show on the road, Esme called Charlie into my room and my jaw dropped, I had never seen Charlie in a suit before and he had gone all out for the day, he looked amazing and I told him so, I noticed a tear in his eye and so did Esme, so she gently pushed everyone but Charlie and I out of the bedroom so we could have a few minutes to ourselves.

Charlie started to speak telling me about how proud he was of me, how that no matter what Renee put me though I had become a strong enough woman to stand on my own and make a better life for myself. Then I realised before it was too late what he already knew and that I was worth loving for myself and to be loved by others. Charlie tried to apologize for not being there through my childhood when he should have seen what was happening and taken me from Renee sooner. I stopped him there and assured him that Renee was very good at keeping things from him and that it wasn't his fault. Charlie and I shed a few tears about my past and the time we lost together, but I reassured Charlie that he was always welcome in Seattle. That Forks would always be my home. He made me promise to spend Christmas with him in Forks and he would come to Seattle for Thanksgiving since it will be so soon after the wedding. There was a gentle knock on the door and Esme poked her head in the door telling us it was time and that she was leaving to head to the chapel to check on Edward.

I thanked Esme and asked Charlie for a few minutes to myself before I was ready to go. After talking with Charlie, I realized that I could still be the strong independent woman that I had become but still allowed Edward to take care of my needs. I had come so far and with both Charlie's and Edward's help I came to realize that not only did I finally love myself in the right way but that I could also be worthy of someone else's love. I deserved to be in love and happy. I deserved all the things that I had been dreaming of all my life but had not believed that I deserved them. Well, I realized was wrong and that it was time that I started to enjoy my life and live it with a wonderful husband and family that loved me unconditionally

Dearest Daughter Emma,

I think this is a good place to stop this letter and the next one will cover the wedding and honeymoon. Always remember that no matter where you are I always love you and want nothing more than to be with you. But I know the time will come that we will be together again.

Love always Mum

Bella Cullen

AN: Thank you again to Sherry Neal and Carole Long for their continued support in making sure Letters to Emma is the best it can be. Happy New Year everyone, I hope you had a safe and happy holidays