A/N: Please note rating change to M.

"Everything I've ever done, every choice I've ever made, every terrible and wonderful thing that's ever happened to me has all led me to right here, this moment with you." - Rick Castle, 6x15: "Smells Like Teen Spirit."

Slow Burn

Chapter 15

The way she looks at him. There's a frankness he's never seen before, a clear-eyed, intimate familiarity that has nothing to do with how they met or all the years of casework, elbows in the dirt side-by-side, and everything to do with what they are to one another now: deeply, passionately loved, completely trusted, and desperately, achingly desired.

He can't imagine his life without her.

Arousal lights her up from the inside, desire that makes her eyes appear hazy in the lamplight, vision a little unfocused as she roams over his body, absorbing all that is newly exposed to her. Even his face she views with nothing short of lust. She doesn't shy away from letting him see that she wants him, either. How she wants him. That he turns her on.

She wants him. Desperately.

Slowly, she rises from beneath the covers, high and graceful, powerful even. She's completely in control, holding onto his shoulders as she throws one leg over his thighs to straddle his lap. It makes him think of the night before: the growl of her Harley, his arms wound tight around her, making out on the edge of the Hudson with the wind in their hair. His body begins to throb at the memory.

The white sheet falls away as she moves and with it her slip, which descends down one arm exposing the delicate lace of her bra. Beneath this transparent layer, the pale skin of her right breast and the tawny-pink of her nipple are visible, confirming that she does indeed have a tan line; it's just a lot smaller than his. A low tide to his high.

Castle's eyes flare wide, glittering with lust that he doesn't have to hide from her anymore, either, and it excites her rather than scares her to see how much he wants her, to know how much they want each other. She can smell the ache of need and excitement rising off their skin, the musk of his manhood, the sharp scent of her own arousal, and when she settles on top of him she can feel it, too.

"How long?" he croaks out as she shifts her weight driving him insane.

"Mm?" she murmurs, flicking his earlobe with the tip of her tongue before she sucks it into her mouth. Her hands are in his hair, carding through the layers, and he closes his eyes to enjoy the delicious tingle that spreads out across his scalp and over his skin.

He drops his hands to her hips, holding her against him, pushing her down as his pelvis rises to meet her, intimately, in a slow, aching thrust. "Jesus. Fuck!" one of them whispers, or maybe they both do.

"How long have you wanted this?" he asks again, gritting his teeth against the overwhelming need to drive up into her a second time and never stop.

She pauses, growing still, but instead of shying away from the question or trying to distract him, and God knows there are so many tricks she has at her fingertips to distract him right now, she locks her eyes on his and says, "Longer than I should have." She lowers her head and her hair tumbles across her shoulders, covering her breasts and half of her face.

"Should?" He frowns.

Her eyebrows rise and fall. "Years, okay." Then she growls low in her throat, a frustrated, embarrassed sound. "Don't make me say it, Castle," she whispers. "Not my proudest moment."

"After that tease, I think you'd better…say it." He squeezes her ass.

She closes her eyes. "I wanted you when we were both with other people. Okay? It was a problem. A big problem."

"So…why…be with other people?" He knows he sounds like he's whining, and he is, but he can't help it. Missing out on this is now his biggest problem.

"Could ask you the same thing," she challenges, and there's a note of hurt that shocks him.

"I thought you weren't interested, that it was a lost cause. I didn't want you kicking me out of the precinct and your life because you thought I was pestering you, being a creep. So I backed off."

"Wow!"

"Yeah, what a couple of idiots," Castle agrees.

Kate trails her fingers down his chest, lightly dragging her nails over his nipples when she leans in to kiss him, shifting her weight, bearing down with her pelvis, meeting his hard insistence with her own wet heat as she teases his mouth apart with her tongue and rocks her hips. "Can I tell you something else?" she whispers breathily, stuttering, "I…I love kissing you. It's…addictive. And touching you, too. I love touching you."

Despite everything, there's something blissful in this pace, this slow burn that sparked between them many years ago, the embers they have taken turns to fan, to tend, and finally made to catch before that slow burn could die, smothered by fear or neglect. Together they have made a roaring fire that will never go out.

She plays with his ear and watches him smile at her, eyes heavy-lidded and lustful when she rolls the velvety skin between finger and thumb, moving closer, radiating heat, to cradle his head against her chest while she sits curled in his lap. "I'm so sorry for all the time I kept us apart," she whispers against his hair, still toying with his ear. "Castle, I really love touching you."

Her confession almost breaks his heart, but this is not the time or place for that. This is a time for joy, for celebration, for looking to the future. This is a night for making each other laugh and cry out in ecstasy, this is the night they become each other's once-and-for-all.

He smiles. "You said. Me, too," he adds, pressing a kiss between her breasts, his voice muffled against her naked skin when he says, "Don't worry. I'll use it against you whenever we have a fight. You won't go unpunished."

He winks and his smile is teasing and predatory both. His hands travel from her hips, curving down over her buttocks, and he squeezes for emphasis. "You will be punished, Beckett." The silence in the bedroom is rent apart by a loud crack when he smacks her ass.

Kate gasps and instinctively moves closer, flicking out her tongue to wet his lips when Castle begins to knead her buttocks with a steady rhythm. She rolls her hips forward, pressing down on the growing swell of his arousal as she does so. Her thighs contract and release around his thighs, she breathes through her nose, fast, desperate, growing hotter and more turned on by the second. She bites his lip, swallowing his protest with a bruising kiss so that the groan reverberates inside her mouth, shooting to her core.

When she's forced to break the seal of their lips, she collapses against his bare chest, gulping down air. "Dear God. I feel like I'm going to explode."

Castle eases his hips upwards again, pressing into her, the need to fuck her becoming overwhelming. He's not sure how much longer he can hold out without splaying her across the mattress and finding a new way to prove his love.

"We need to get the rest of these clothes off," Kate says as if she can read his mind, but he holds her still before she can begin stripping. She looks at him warily; he has something on his mind, she can see it in his face. A ripple of fear passes through her. "Rick, what's is it?"

He blows out a breath and scratches his eyebrow with his thumbnail. Then he coughs. "So I um…so I called Alexis outside the church today after I found your bag in the trunk of the car and I asked her to pack a change of clothes, my toothbrush…the usual."

"So I did see her before?" She smacks his arm. "You looked at me like I was crazy."

Castle grins but doesn't flinch. "Yeah, sorry about that. Didn't want to ruin the surprise. Anyway…what I'm trying to say is that I didn't feel I could ask her to pack..." He clears his throat in discomfort.

Kate smirks. "Condoms? No, absolutely. That would be...no." She frowns, thinking about her own father. "Way too weird."

"So…" he says slowly, "I don't suppose you have...um…"

"Protection? I thought you went through my bag already." She's joking with him, being a smart ass, but he misses it because he's unexpectedly flustered. Just to mess with him some more, she adds, "Actually, come to think of it, I can't believe you didn't just text your teenage daughter and ask her to toss a box of Trojans in along with your toothpaste."

Castle groans and covers his face. "Stop! Just imagine if it was your dad," he says from behind his hands.

Kate laughs. "God, no. I was just thinking that seconds ago. There is no way."

They share a dopey grin for a moment before Castle nudges her arm. "Just for the record, I would never look inside your bag. Not now and not after we're married, either." He toys with her fingers. "So, you've got nothing? I just...I just realized that I don't even know if you're on the pill."

Kate kisses him just because she can.

"Maybe you were right when you said we know so much about each other and yet so little," Castle says, softly kissing her back. She rolls her hips in a circle, sparking a complaint of, "Beckett, this isn't helping."

So she leans away from him, trying to tamp things down, straightening her shoulders. "I was. On the pill. For years. Since my teens, in fact. It helped me control things for school and then work. But the artificial hormone thing never sat well with me. After I got shot, I decided to stop, let my body return to its...natural cycle. With the PTSD and everything, I just wanted to be able to assess my mood without any chemical interference. There, now you know everything. What about you? Any prescription drugs, bad habits, or health issues I should know about? Besides the obvious," she adds with a cheeky grin.

Castle shakes his head. "Healthy as an ox. Well, unless you count any mental defect I may have inherited from my mother."

"Cute," Kate says. "But we're getting off track."

"Yes. So, between us, we have no protection? That's what we're saying?" He smacks his forehead and groans when she nods. "Couple of responsible adults," Castle mutters.

"Mm-hmm." Kate is still, watching Castle process this information and formulate a plan because he always comes up with a plan. But tonight, she's working through a few thoughts of her own.

He brightens. "Should I call reception? I can call reception. Yeah. They must get this kind of request all the time." He leans over to grab the receiver and hits the preset button for the concierge.

Kate rolls after him, ducking under his arm to press the hook switch canceling the call. "Wait. I have an idea." She squeezes her eyes tightly shut and balls her fingers into tight fists, unable to believe that she's the one suggesting this.

Castle is looking at her with more than a little curiosity. "Okaaay. Shoot."

Kate cocks an eyebrow and smirks. "Yeah, we'll get to that part in a minute."

For once, Castle is the one who rolls his eyes. "Really bad joke, Beckett. Given our current predicament."

She takes a breath and holds her hands out in front of her as if preparing him for something big. "Okay. Here goes. You said we do things back to front. You've been pointing that out since yesterday. And you're right." She gestures to the room. "We are starting with the honeymoon after all."

"And I believe that it's tradition in a lot of cultures for wedding nights to be sexless affairs, so we're right on track," he says dryly. "Usually, that's on account of alcohol consumption rather than…chronically bad planning," he says weakly because she's glaring at him for interrupting her with a bad joke of his own. He mouths, "Sorry," and gestures for her to continue.

"Would it be such a bad thing if...I mean I'm not getting any younger anyway, so it's unlikely…" She closes her eyes and mutters, "I can't believe I'm actually saying this. But what if we slipped up? Would that be so bad?"

Castle settles his hands on her thighs. His touch feels heavy and warm, intimate, reassuring. He sounds cautiously excited when he says, "Are you suggesting what I think you're suggesting?"

Kate nods. "That we have unprotected sex. Yes. Was I not clear?"

"Not that part. But to be clear: yes, I'm in. No, I meant..."

"You and me, having a baby?" she says breathlessly. Her eyes are filled with fear and wonder even at the slim possibility. "I know we haven't talked about it. I don't even know if you want more kids. But yesterday at the precinct when I said what if we were getting married, you ran with it and now we're here, planning our wedding, our life..."

"A life." He grins.

Kate finds herself smiling, too. "So...does that mean you're okay with it? If I got pregnant it wouldn't be a disaster?"

"One time? I think it might be a miracle. But a disaster?" He hugs her. "Kate, I can't think of anything more wonderful."

She smiles at him, slow and beautiful. "Who said anything about one time? We've got this room until…what? Midday tomorrow?"

Kate squeals when Castle picks her up and throws her down on the bed. "Better get busy then. Time's a wastin'."

Once their laughter dies down, Kate is looking up at him with a smile of adoration on her face. She reaches up to smooth his hair back from his forehead. He thinks it might be the most tender, loving gesture she's ever shown him. She's still smiling but there is a glint of tears in her eyes when she says, "You know I'm in love with you, don't you? I love you…so much. This is it for me, Rick. You're it," she says, smiling wider even as a tear runs down into her hair.

He kisses her with everything he has.

What has been slow and teasing becomes heated in an instant. Castle's hands are everywhere, pushing up her slip, rubbing the front of her sodden underwear. He removes her bra strap with his teeth and nudges the lace of her bra aside with his nose as she struggles beneath him. When he pushes his fingers inside her underwear she cries out and arches off the bed.

"So fucking wet," he growls. "You're a goddess," he adds, coating his fingers in her juices, brushing his thumb over her swollen clit, before sliding two fingers inside her.

Kate writhes against the mattress, fistfuls of sheet the only thing holding her down. Red-hot heat crawls like a rash up her neck and chest. She opens her legs wider, inviting him in. "I need you inside me, please?" she begs, even as he pleasures her with his fingers. "I want you to fuck me, Castle. Now, please?"

She whimpers then sags when he wordlessly complies, withdrawing his fingers without warning. He crawls off the bed to shed his boxer shorts. She leans up on her elbows, her chest heaving and legs trembling, to watch him strip.

She moistens her lips and swallows noisily, blinking as she stares. "You weren't joking…ever," she says, and a smirk adds a playful light to her eyes.

Proudly, Castle stands on display with his hands on his hips. "Beckett, you should know by now that I would never joke about anything this serious."

She flops back on the mattress as he crawls towards her. "Lift," he demands, scooping up one leg at the knee. She arches her butt off the bed without complaint about being told what to do, and Castle keeps his eyes on her face the entire five seconds it takes for him to peel her damp panties down her legs and toss them over his shoulder.

When she sees him look down and lick his lips, she closes her legs together. Castle looks like a kid who just had his favorite toy taken away.

Kate waits for him to look back up at her. "Later," she says. "First time, I want to feel you make love to me."

He takes her face in his hands and kisses her, gently stroking her cheeks. "We're crossing a line."

Her eyes widen and shortly after, a ghost of a smile appears. "Are you asking for my permission?" she teases.

"I'm…we've waited so long," he explains.

"Too long." He's still holding her face and she grasps his wrists. "You told me you love me. You gave me your word a long time ago. Now, I want to feel it. I want to feel you…moving inside me. Castle, I need you." She turns her head just a fraction and kisses his palm. "Please? Rick, make love to me."

He lays his hand on her stomach, fingers splayed. It's such a large, warm hand. He touches her with such reverence, smoothing his way across her skin, brushing his thumb over her navel. Kate watches him explore her body with fascination. There's something so erotic about the close attention that he pays her, far more erotic than simple fucking. He's watched her for years, absorbing every nuance. Now he's peeling back another layer so that there will be no secrets left, no hidden corners between them, and Kate is surprised to realize that she doesn't want there to be. She's good with this full disclosure. More than good. She's ecstatic.

"I don't want you ever thinking this wasn't mutual," she says, shivering with delight when he presses his lips where his hands have just been. She fights for coherency to get this important message across. "I had a job to do. I had to keep you safe."

"And I had a reputation," he says sagely.

"There was that. But only in the beginning. I had to keep you safe. This would have been an almighty distraction."

As if to prove her point, she arches off the bed when he moves lower, kissing each hip bone as if he's saying hello to all the parts of herself she kept hidden from him.

He peeks a look at her, curious to know. "And now?"

"Ah, shit, that's good," she curses, squirming against the bed and laughing when he breaks the rules and puts his mouth on her. "Haven't quite figured that...that part out, yet," she admits breathlessly. "All I know is that we couldn't go on like before." She runs her hand through his hair, clutching the thick layers around his crown so she can keep him with her because there are things she needs to say.

"I want to wake up with you. To eat breakfast in bed, pick through bookstores on the weekend, watch TV, go grocery shopping, cook together. I want to make a home with you so we can grow old together. I've never felt that way about anyone before." He coasts his hands up and down her thighs as she says, "You showed me a better way to live. You made me want things, Richard Castle." She grins, her eyes shining with mischief and gratitude. "And now I'm coming to collect.

He crawls up from between her legs to kiss her. His biceps bulge and strain as he drapes his body over hers, bracing himself against the bed. Kate reaches between them to find him. She wraps her hand around his hard length and guides him to her. She shifts her hips, her eyes locked on his face, watching him the entire time. Both gasp and shudder when he nudges and pushes before finally sliding inside.

Her head falls back in ecstasy when they begin to move. Her bare throat calls to him. Her mouth is open, the sound of her breathing audible, the ragged catch of air in her throat that falls just shy of a scream. The adorable little frown of lust and concentration that wrinkles her forehead. The flush of heat on her chest, neck, and throat. There's a rosy blush to her cheeks, a shine in her eyes, her teeth trapping her lip until he flicks her nipple with his tongue. When he sucks on her breast, drawing it into his mouth, she digs her nails into his back, shuddering with need and crying aloud.

They move slowly at first until the pressure builds and they take off together, chasing after the pleasure they've been denying themselves for so insanely long. Time means nothing. There are only her breasts and his beautiful eyes, her tongue everywhere. Hot, demanding kisses, her hands in his hair, his mouth on her jaw, her neck, her fingers kneading his buttocks pulling him deeper into her, backs arching, rocking, muscles tightening, breathing hard and fucking, fucking, clutching and shuddering until she stills in his arms, gripping him hard. She trembles for the longest time, her whole body shaking, riding the waves of a powerful orgasm until she sags, his name escaping on a chuckled sigh.

Castle watches her fall apart, marveling at her body's response to his, how she contracts and flutters around him while drawing him deeper inside, giving her body to him completely.

When she opens her eyes, immediately surging up to claim his mouth with such a fierce, greedy possession, this is the tipping point. He finally loses control: holding her tight against him, cursing loudly into her neck as he bucks one last time, his whole body seizing, convulsing at the peak of a shattering climax like none he's experienced before.

They collapse on the bed beside one another, gasping, laughing, sweating, still holding hands.

Between ragged breaths, Castle gets out, "You leave me speechless. I've been in love with you for so long I can't remember a time I wasn't, and still, you leave me speechless."

Kate turns her head to look at him, too loose and exhausted to move anything else. She grins, "Speechless but still talking, huh? Sounds about right."

Castle is surprised by her playful tone. He takes in her smile, the light of joy in her eyes, her love for him so completely on display. "And you're naked, detective." His eyebrows dance.

She raises her arms above her head and stretches like a cat, exposing her entire body for him to see. "Don't need to be a detective to figure that out."

It's at that moment he realizes that they are going to be just fine; any worries they've had about making this work evaporate.

"Are you dozing?" Kate asks after a few moments of quiet.

Castle eyes fly open and he stares at the ceiling trying to recall where he is.

"You were." She laughs, poking him in the side. "You fell asleep on me."

"Just resting my eyes for a second, that's all. It's been a long day."

Kate rolls away and sits up before he can stop her, though he does try, belatedly flailing in her direction in an attempt to grasp any piece of her that he can reach and hold onto. "I need to use the bathroom then we should try to sleep…" She looks back at him over her shoulder. "Or nap at least."

"Nap?"

"Mm. Regain our strength for round two." She returns to the bed, stretching over him to press a hot, wet kiss to his mouth. Castle takes advantage of the moment to fondle her breasts and palm her naked buttocks. He will never get over the endorphin rush that comes from being able to touch her; it's his new favorite drug.

Kate stands up, places her hands on her hips, watching him through slightly narrowed eyes. Castle whines at the sudden deprivation. She pouts and taps him on the nose. "I have to clean up. Be good while I'm in there. Keep the bed warm. I'll be right back."

As soon as the bathroom door closes, Castle scrambles out of bed. He listens for the sound of running water, toilet flushing, any sign that Kate is still occupied. He opens the leather overnight bag at the bottom of the bed, pulls out a fresh pair of boxer shorts then feels around the dark interior for something else.

The door to the bathroom opens without warning. The light from inside is blinding, and Castle winces like a suspect in a spy movie who's just had a desk lamp aimed in his eyes.

"Looking for something?" Kate asks.

She's lounging alluringly against the bathroom doorjamb, one hip jutting out, arms crossed beneath spectacular breasts, stomach as smooth and flat as a mirror, model-length legs beautifully backlit, and all Castle can do is stutter and stare.

TBC...

A/N: Thank you to the reader who reminded me of the wonderful quote I included at the start. I'd forgotten Castle said that. It was a perfect introduction to this chapter. Remember, if you're shy about leaving a review to an M chapter you can do so anonymously. They're the most difficult to write. Love to hear your thoughts. Liv