Chapter 4: Growing up II
Matlock Lake House March 1806, Elizabeth 11 years old, William 19 years old
That spring Elizabeth was now short of her eleventh birthday. The De Bourgh family was in Matlock, to celebrate the birthday of Lady Mary Rose Fitzwilliam in the middle of March. Elizabeth was looking forward to see her cousins again, but her heart was sinking by the mere thought of all the happiness which would surround her soon.
During the interim years, Lady Catherine had made sure that Elizabeth was locked away as much as possible. She not only kept her away from the rest of the family, but had also made sure to make her suffer as much as possible. She got her into a whalebone corset when she was only nine years old, and punishing her vehemently in her chambers, calling it "discipline" and "behaviour unbecoming"
As Elizabeth got up to get dressed, Lady Catherine entered with a maid, who was carrying a new and stiff whalebone corset. It had been two years now, since Elizabeth had seen one for the first time.
Elizabeth looked at the corset in horror, Lady Catherine said: "Servant, make it as tight as a beanpole."
"Yes, you're Ladyship." The maid answered. The maid met Elizabeth's eyes and expressed her sorrow about what she was about to do again.
As the maid tightened the strings of the corset, Elizabeth kept silent in fear of another beating, but tears began running down her cheeks to the pain. The corset was tightened firmly over the fresh wounds on her back, which she received the night before, like several nights, in her mother's chambers for "her unbecoming behaviour".
Lady Catherine was not satisfied and yelled, "Tighter."
The maid looked at Lady Catherine in horror and said: "But your Ladyship, she cannot breathe."
Lady Catherine answered: "Do as I tell you or lose your position."
The maid replied: "Yes, Madame." and pulled it tighter, while her hands were trembling at the cruel act, as she could see Miss Elizabeth's bones.
Elizabeth bit her tongue as the corset was tightened further, and it began cutting in her wounds making them bleed and not heal.
Lady Catherine asked in a harsh voice: "Are you crying, brat?"
Elizabeth swallowed and replied with a shaky voice: "No, your Ladyship."
At last the corset was tied and the maid left. Elizabeth stood trembling in her mother's presence. Her mother had made it clear that she were not allowed to call her "mother" or "mama" ever again "How dare you cry when I am present in a room, your ungrateful brat!"
"I…I…di…did not mean to, your Ladyship." Elizabeth replied, trying and failing to hide the fact that she was terrified of her mother.
"Now for your unacceptable behaviour I will redo your corset."
Elizabeth clung to her bedpost as her corset was bound tighter and harsher, as her body suffered from pain.
As Lady Catherine was leaving the room she said: "If you ever cry in my presence again, I will beat you with my 9 tail whip! Is it understood?"
Elizabeth answered in stutters: "Y…ye…yes your Ladyship."
Lady Catherine left the room. Elizabeth collapsed on the bed, she could hardly breathe, and her body hurt. Her back hurt especially because of the violent beating she received the evening before.
She could not breathe deeply and began breathing shallowly and lightly to avoid the corset from cutting into the wounds on her back, so now she was in double pain, the wounds hurt and she could not breathe properly so her whole body burned in pain.
As she laid in her bed in pain, a maid entered and said, "Miss Elizabeth, Lady Catherine says that you have to come now or they are leaving without you for Matlock."
Elizabeth managed to get up and straightened her shirts and walked to the door saying, "I am coming, Grace."
As the de Bourgh carriage arrived to the Fitzwilliam's ancestral home in Matlock, the whole family was there to welcome them. Lady Catherine greeted her brother, the Earl of Matlock and the Countess. She was greeted by her nephew and nieces present there.
Anne and Elizabeth curtseyed and greeted their aunt, aunt and cousins. Madeline had been drilling in her charge for weeks, the proper manner to greet in her etiquettes class.
Earl Patrick Fitzwilliam after greeting his sister and older niece turned to Elizabeth, smiled and said: "Elizabeth, welcome to Matlock. We are happy to see you again."
The Countess Constance said: "Elizabeth, you look pale dearest."
Elizabeth replied with a restrained smile: "I am well, Aunt Constance."
The Earl asked discreetly Madeline: "Is my niece well? She looks pale and drawn."
Madeline replied to the Earl: "Miss Elizabeth is well, but she has grown quieter, milord. But I believe that now that summer is coming, she will soon look better." Madeline curtsied and hurried after Elizabeth.
The next day Elizabeth sat watching her cousin, Mary-Rose open her presents with the parents. Elizabeth knew deep down that she was bitterly jealous of her cousins, their birthdays, the presents they got; while her own was ignored and she was given a beating for asking if the family would come to celebrate her birthday. Since her father' passing, her birthday was never celebrated, it was just another day of the year. Another day for Lady Catherine to beat her, to be pushed around by Anne, and flat-out ignored for the rest of the time.
When Mary-Rose began opening the next present, Elizabeth could take no more and left the room. She could not handle any more torture of seeing this much happiness and excitement, it was unbearable! She could stand the loneliness, the beatings, the taunts and everything but the happiness and excitement from her cousins. Yes, she knew she was jealous and it was wrong to covert for other people's things and happiness, but she could not help it. It was not fair.
Madeline said as she finally saw Elizabeth up in a tree: "Elizabeth! What are you doing up there?"
Elizabeth replied: "I am trying to reach for the stars."
Madeline said with a half-smile: "You cannot reach the stars, Lizziebeth! Would you get down?! It was noted that you left the room!"
Elizabeth said in a determined voice: "I can if I want to. Being up here makes me forget all of my troubles."
Madeline said firmly if calmly, "I know it does but you have to get down, and return to the house, Lizziebeth! I do not want to let your uncle come and fetch you! You know what he would say, and I do not even want to think of your mother to know that you are missing from the party!"
Elizabeth said in a voice which betrayed that she did not care: "She would not notice."
Madeline sighed and said: "No, you are right. But still I would be very glad if you would come down and return to the house with me!"
"No"
Madeline said in a strong voice which for once betrayed her annoyance: "Elizabeth I will not repeat myself, get down right now!"
Elizabeth said in a stubborn voice: "No."
Madeline said pleading, "Elizabeth, what is really troubling you? Why would you not come down?"
Elizabeth said in a voice which betrayed her feelings: "Why can they celebrate their birthdays when I cannot?"
Madeline said in a calm voice: "Dear, I do not know why yours is ignored, and I am trying to make the best of it. I know you do not understand, but dearest Lizziebeth, please get down, and I will find a way for us to celebrate properly this year! I promise."
Elizabeth sighed as she replied: "Alright, but on one condition."
Madeline said: "Elizabeth, please get down now. I will hear your condition when you stand here with me on the ground."
Elizabeth said: "My condition is that I can return to my tree whenever I want."
Madeline said in a voice which was firm but kind: "I agree. But, Elizabeth, get down now before someone else comes this way!"
Elizabeth sighed dramatically and replied, "Very well." and climbed down the tree.
Madeline said with a kind voice: "Thank you, Elizabeth. Now let us return to the house!"
Madeline and Elizabeth walked slowly back to the house, Elizabeth unwilling but resigned and Madeline with a hand placed on Elizabeth shoulder.
Madeline said with a smile: "Come now, be cheerful. Then we can go to your room and attend to your piano playing later."