Slow Burn
Chapter 19
Kate wakes with a start in the middle of the night at the sound of a door slamming. Like a gunshot, the noise reverberates through the hollow quiet of the loft. In their bedroom, city light bleeds in through the gauzy curtains and the shutters they neglected to close before falling asleep, causing cantaloupe-colored stripes to roll out across the dark-wood floor and disappear.
"Castle!" Kate hisses as she reaches for him. The loft, even the bedroom, still feels like his domain though she has technically moved in. Also, her gun is in her overnight bag, which has yet to make its way from the kitchen to the bedroom because they chose to spend hours last night engaged in more pleasurable pursuits than unpacking.
Castle mumbles in his sleep, apparently unconcerned by the noise.
"Rick!" she whispers, shaking his bare shoulder to wake him.
"Kaaaate." He smiles dopily. "Wassup?" Confused eyes blink at her as he tries hard to focus, both on her face and on what she's saying.
"I heard a noise," she says, pointing to the living room beyond the open-bookcase wall. "Out there."
If she changes one thing about the loft now that she has moved in, it may be this feature. Stylish as it looks, having sex, even sleeping, with what equates to library stacks for walls is a stretch, even for a bibliophile like her. The interruption to their sleep tonight is as good an example as any of the added privacy real walls would provide.
Before Castle can even sit up, they hear the signature clatter of high heels hitting a hardwood floor. This sound is accompanied by a giggle and then a drunken kind of shushing, though of whom they are not sure.
They turn to look at one another. "Martha," they both say, dissolving into giggles that have Kate reaching for a pillow. She hugs it to her face to stifle any sound, and once her hilarity is under control, she says, "Should you check on her? Make sure she's okay?"
Castle flops flat on his back and throws his arms above his head. "She's been doing this my whole life. She knows her way around the furniture blindfolded. Don't worry. I'll have a word about curfew first thing tomorrow," he says, yawning.
Kate stares down at his body and her mouth begins to water at the sight of his muscular arms cast up towards the headboard, his bare chest and stomach kissed by the light from the window. She quickly loses interest in the geriatric walk of shame taking place out in the living room. She's going to marry him. The sex they've been having is the best she's ever experienced, she loves him like no man she's ever been with, they've been tested and then some, and she's going to marry him. Soon.
She lies back down beside him and stares up at the ceiling. Eventually, she rolls onto her side and says, "Does Martha know?" She holds up her hand and wiggles her fingers so that the diamonds catch the light. They twinkle like stars against the night sky of the bedroom ceiling. "About this?"
Castle reaches out to touch the engagement ring for himself. He twists the gold band so that the emerald sits square on her finger then he appears to admire how perfect it looks on her hand. It does look perfect.
Kate gently touches his arm. "Rick?"
"She gave it to me right after I broke up with Gina." He sneaks a glance at Kate's face to assess whether he should continue. She strokes his arm and he takes this tender gesture as an encouragement.
"Which time was that?" she asks dryly. She shakes her head immediately, appalled by her unfiltered tongue. "Sorry. That sounded…I…just trying to clarify," she struggles to explain.
"The timeline?" he says and they both laugh.
She nods. "Yeah, something like that. You two have a long, complicated history."
"Some people might say the same about us," he whispers against her cheek before kissing the tip of her ear.
"Mm. Maybe," she says skeptically because Gina and Castle's relationship is infinitely more complex, even if that is just from a legal standpoint. They have been married and divorced and, after weathering a second-chance breakup, she is still his publisher. Complex with a capital C.
"It was after that disastrous trip to the Hamptons," he clarifies.
Kate's eyebrows shoot up, her face warms, and her heart begins to beat a little faster. "Oh," she says, remembering that time, unable to hold the soft exclamation inside.
"What?" He laughs nervously. "What does that mean?"
Kate bites her lip and presses her face into his arm. "Tell me what Martha said when she gave you the ring."
"Tell me what that "oh" meant and I'll trade," he bargains.
She thinks for a moment before she says, "Okay, but you first."
Castle kisses her shoulder and curls his body around hers as he begins to recount the tale. "So…my mother thought the reconciliation with Gina was…ill-advised. Big surprise. She⏤" He pauses. "Do you really want to hear all of this?"
Kate pulls his arm tighter around her and wriggles in his embrace. His feels big and warm and safe lying behind her and she loves him so much that her heart aches. "Just tell the story, Rick," she scolds, smiling at his gentle, sweet stalling that is only designed to protect her feelings.
"Okay," he sighs. "When I came back from the Hamptons after that disaster with Gina, mother sat me down and basically told me to sort myself out."
Kates makes a sucking sound through her teeth. "That must have been hard. Nobody likes to fail at a relationship."
She feels Castle shake his head. "That wasn't a relationship. I mean it is in the sense that she's my publisher, in the sense that that is, in fact, a relationship. But not in any romantic sense."
"You seemed pretty loved up when you left the precinct with her." The air goes still when these words fly out of Kate's mouth and into the darkened bedroom to circle, uninvited, over their heads, deftly avoiding everything in the silence that follows until they finally come home to roost, as unwanted as a pipistrelle in a barn conversion.
"Wow! Where did that come from?" Castle asks. He sounds shocked, and when he tries to move to get a look at her, she holds him fast because she can't let him see her face.
"Later," she says, but her eyes are screwed shut and she's berating herself internally for the bitterness and the hurt in her voice, hurt that lingers all these years later. It's ridiculous, she knows, they're engaged for God's sake, but it still pains her to think back on that time, to imagine what might have been if she'd only been braver, spoken out, stood up for what she wanted. She's not getting any younger and the thought that all the time in between, when they remained merely friends, might have cost her the chance to have a family with this man...
"Were you jealous?" Castle asks, like a bloodhound on a scent trail. "Back then?"
Kate ignores the question and clears her throat as she tries to deal with this barrage of stale emotions. "The ring? Where did the ring fit in?" she asks.
Castle pauses for a moment. He's clearly deciding whether to carry on with the story as she asks, or dig into the mystery Kate has revealed. When he hears her whisper, "Please?" he gives in. "I had never seen the ring before that day," he says. "She brought me the little box, opened it and showed it to me, and when I asked her about it she simply said that it belonged to her mother and that it was time for me to have it."
"Wow!" Kate whispers, holding her hand out to admire the ring as he speaks.
"Mm. She said that I should keep it safe until I was ready to give it to the right person. My head was such a mess."
"Because of Gina?" Kate interjects, her vocal chords taut as a garrotte even at the idea that this might be true.
Castle falls silent, and Kate tries to see his face. He drops his chin forward to kiss her neck and nuzzle his cheek in against hers. His eyes are closed when he says, "No. Missing you as a matter of fact."
Neither of them says anything for what seems like a long time. Eventually, Kate breaks the silence. "Please, tell me everything," she whispers.
Castle takes a deep breath. "I asked her how a man with two ex-wives and a history like mine could possibly know what the right person would look like. But she took my hand and said something supportive like, Oh, pull yourself together, Richard. You already know who she is."
This startles Kate, and so this time she turns around to face him. "What did she mean?"
He smiles at her, takes her face in his hands and kisses her softly. "She meant you, of course."
Kate curls her fingers around his wrists, holding him there. "But that was two years ago."
He laughs quietly and brushes her hair over her shoulder. "You mean, what took me so long?"
When Castle wakes the next morning, he is alone in bed in the silence of the still-sleeping loft. There is a moment of white-hot panic, a rush of blood to the head when he fears that the last few days have been nothing more than a cruel-but-wonderful dream. Then he rolls over and sees the dent Kate's head has left in the pillow. Follow the evidence, he thinks to himself, pressing his smiling face against the silky fabric to inhale the traces of her scent that have been left behind on the pillowcase. When he hears the hiss of water in the en-suite as the shower comes on, blood rushes elsewhere in his body leaving him lightheaded and painfully aroused.
The shower sex is dangerous but amazing. Kate smiles and her eyes glitter with delight when she first sees him enter the bathroom through the fog of steam. It's abundantly clear that he wants her, badly. He asks permission to join her, which is sweet and polite, but what she really wants is for him to presume, to come to her without asking, to surprise her from behind, his still-cool hands possessively roaming over her body, which is hot and slick from the shower, and already scented by his soap. She wants him to nudge up against her, his large hand spread flat on her stomach as he holds her still, tilting her pelvis back towards him while he pushes himself between her cheeks and grinds a few times, sliding back and forth until she shudders, so close, too close, forcing her to call out his name and beg him to stop. She wants him to grip her hips then, to bend her over, make her spread her legs wide, her hands braced against the steam-coated tiles while he touches her, stroking her to feel how much she wants him, thick fingers spreading her arousal liberally before he finally nudges closer and enters her from behind.
She is explicit about her fantasy this time and he follows her directions to the letter, so that next time…
Her face is flushed and her eyes still shiny with the post-coital rush of endorphins as they towel one another off. Her hair hangs in wet strands that clump together and soak the rosy skin on her shoulders and chest.
Castle scrubs his hand over his jaw, rasping the two-day-old stubble. "I'm gonna to have to shave," he says. He leans down to steal another kiss, soothing Kate's reddened chin with his thumb. "Your poor face. I have aloe in the cabinet if you need some."
She cuddles him, her whole body draped over his, steam still rising off their skin while he carefully assembles his razor, a can of shaving gel, a towel. "I have makeup in my bag. Don't worry." She inspects her chaffed face in the mirror over his shoulder. "I'll have this covered up in no time."
She hugs his chest and presses kisses to his spine between his shoulder blades before letting go. "You shave. I'll be right back. Then we can make breakfast together before I have to go into work."
Castle groans at mention of the precinct and she laughs. "You don't have to come in with me. Stay home. Write. You can be a house husband today," she teases, grinning at him in the mirror.
His expression is stunned when she smacks him on the ass. She dodges out of reach and runs out into the bedroom giggling, having stolen his bathrobe from the hook on the wall.
Had she been paying attention, the scent of coffee should have been a warning to her. Martha is sitting quietly in the kitchen, but Kate fails to see her at first. The older woman is seated at the counter on one of the high stools nursing a china cup. Kate's wheeled case and overnight bag sit abandoned by her feet making it look as if Castle's mother is moving out instead of his bride-to-be moving in.
"Martha!" she exclaims, tugging Castle's robe more tightly over her chest and securing the belt.
Kate's feet and legs are bare and her hair is still wet; it doesn't take a genius to figure out what she's just been up to with Martha Rogers' son. The damn porous walls probably gave all the intimate details away in any case. But Martha is a consummate pro, a romantic, her son's greatest champion, and a worldly-wise human being. She navigates any awkwardness with ease.
"I made coffee. You look like you could use some, my dear. I know I did," Martha says, her penciled eyebrows rising to convey so much more meaning than her words.
Kate smiles shyly and gratefully. She finds a mug in the cabinet and pours herself a cup. She stands on the other side of the counter facing her future mother-in-law. She takes a sip; it tastes divine. "How much…do you know?" Kate asks hesitantly.
Martha's eyes track slowly downwards from Kate's face until she is looking at her hands, which are wrapped around the porcelain mug. She's wearing the emerald and diamond engagement ring. "Enough," she replies, smiling serenely.
"Which means?" Kate probes.
Martha pauses for a long moment before she says, "My son has never loved another woman like he loves you. Do you know that? He has many faults⏤"
"As we all do." Kate jumps in to Castle's defense.
"Indeed," Martha agrees. "But he is a good man."
"The best."
Martha nods. "He is loyal, braver than I ever imagined him to be thanks to you. He's patient despite first appearances, and he loves you with all his heart."
"I know, Martha," Kate says quietly. "I love him, too. And I wanted to thank you for trusting me with this beautiful⏤"
Martha holds up her hand to cut her off, surprising Kate. "Darling…please, let me say this?"
Though she already knows her to be outspoken, Kate is slightly horrified by Martha's blunt approach. "Of course," she says, giving way to the older woman.
"Don't hurt him. Please? That's the only thing I ask. He means the world to me. You both do, actually. But my son deserves happiness, really deserves it, more than anyone I know, except for you. He's such a good man, a kind, and generous soul. I know you won't take advantage of his good nature as others have done. But be good to each other, Katherine. Be gentle and kind. Marriage is a long road."
Before Kate can find the words to respond, Castle comes breezing into the living room dressed in boxer shorts and a t-shirt. His face is freshly shaved, his skin glowing. The atmosphere in the loft is immediately lighter because that's what Castle does: he brings light into people's lives.
"Mother," he says, kissing his mother on the cheek. "Behaving, I hope?" His eyes cut to Kate for confirmation, or otherwise.
Imperiously, putting on something of an act Kate is surprised to note, Martha swirls a hand through the air. "Just building a little dramatic tension before I wish you both congratulations," she says, catching Kate's eye and winking. "I'm so happy for you, darling. So happy for both of you," she insists, herding them to her for an unexpected group hug.
"Did she haze you?" Castle whispers in her ear a little later as they stand next to one another at the stove making scrambled eggs and buttering toast.
Still slightly in shock after Martha's speech, Kate turns her head sharply to look at him. "How did you know? Is that her thing?"
Castle smiles and bumps her hip. "The look on your face, and no, she's never shown this much interest before."
Kate nods thoughtfully. She thinks for a moment, stirring eggs with the happy sound of Castle's humming in her ear. Suddenly, she realizes what it means - why Martha felt the need to speak out - because she can feel it deep within her, too. "Third time's a charm," she says confidently, watching her partner's face break open until he radiates pride, love, and the purest joy.
"Third time's a charm," he repeats, leaning down to kiss her.
A/N: Loving the messages. It's a great encouragement to hear your thoughts on the story's direction and to hear from people who've never reviewed before. Keep them coming and I'll endeavor to keep writing. Liv