AU; I dedicate this chapter to the memory of my beloved grandmother who lost her battle to cancer
Chapter 9: Elizabeth's 16th birthday
Matlock Lake House, Derbyshire April 16th-17th 1811
William: 24
Elizabeth: 16
Almost two years have passed since Elizabeth had become a Fitzwilliam and she had become quite a lady; both in looks and accomplishments. She had been free to pursue anything which took her fancy; riding, reading, sewing, painting, walking, writing, languages and more.
It was the night before Elizabeth's 16th birthday, - and the whole family was gathered in Matlock, to celebrate, all the cousins; Maxwell, Mary-Rose, Rachel, Richard, Georgianna, William and Elizabeth including Viscount Jonathan and Lord Daniel Blake. Mary-Rose suggested they play a game of "Spin the bottle". They began and soon the bottle was pointed at Daniel Blake, and Mary-Rose said: "I dare you, Daniel, to..." She smiled mischievously. "... to kiss Elizabeth"
Elizabeth and Daniel looked at Mary-Rose with shock written all over their faces. Daniel looked like he wanted to be but there at that moment, as he replied, "You are truly evil, dear." Mary-Rose just smirked, then Daniel looked at Elizabeth and asked awkwardly: "Do you mind, Elizabeth?"
"No." Elizabeth answered while she looked decidedly embarrassed.
Daniel leaned over, and placed a very chaste kiss on the corner of her mouth. As he drew away, he saw how red Elizabeth had turned in embarrassment and pitied her at her sister's mischief.
As Daniel and Elizabeth laughed awkwardly at their own embarrassment at the kiss, Maxwell noticed that William had left the room. He followed to where William was standing at a window on the other side of the hall.
He asked: "Will, what is wrong?"
"I do not like the way Daniel kissed our cousin. It was not proper."
"Will, it was just a game and you know Mary-Rose, how mischievous she can get! Elizabeth and Daniel did not have a choice but to comply. Besides, Mary-Rose knows the constancy of her beau and allowed him to kiss her sister."
"Daniel did not have to do what she said. You could have taken control of the situation."
"I would do no such thing and be a spoil-sport!" Max suddenly had an epiphany and asked, "Will... are you jealous?"
Maxwell looked at William for a moment and saw several feelings flickered on his face: "You love her!"
Darcy opened and shut his mouth a few times before saying: "She is my betrothed, and I would have liked to be her first kiss and not someone else in a stupid game."
Maxwell laughed out at his cousin's expense and said "You are hit hard cousin, but relax! That was not a serious kiss and you will have your chance when you two realize your true feelings for each other"
He knew the jealousy. He was himself deeply in love with a Lady Marina Campbell, daughter of the Earl of Wiltshire, of Wiltshire and Campbell Hillside Manor that he had requested to court since her coming out last Season. He was waiting for his lady to realise her feelings before declaring himself to her.
In the drawing room:
After the shock of what happened had worn off, Elizabeth remembered the way her cousin William looked at her. His eyes full of an emotion she could not name. She always had an odd feeling of butterflies in her stomach when ever their eyes met, or he said something directly to her with his dimpled smile. She felt nothing of that sort with this chaste kiss. It was simply a part of the game for her too, but noticed a look of pain in his eyes, just before he left the room. Elizabeth suddenly understood what that feeling could be. Is it love? she thought. Is William in love with me? Do I love him too? Oh! I have caused him pain and he shall never forgive me! How wretched I am! Before breaking down in tears.
A few minutes later when William and Maxwell came back to the room, they found Mary-Rose and Rachel consoling Elizabeth. He looked pointedly at Maxwell, who understood and immediately ushered everyone out of the room to retire and left him alone with Elizabeth.
William sat next to her and held her comfortingly as she whispered: "Oh what have I done?! Will you ever forgive me?"
William comforted her by saying, "Elizabeth, there is nothing to forgive. Although I was momentarily jealous, I am not anymore. I would not have you feel miserable on this silly game. Come, it is late, and we must retire"
He wiped the tears off her cheeks and taking her hand, lead her out and to her bedroom door. He then bent to kiss her hand and bid her goodnight before leaving to his own room.
The next day. April 17th
The family was all gathered - with the exception of Lady Catherine and Anne - to celebrate Elizabeth's birthday. When Elizabeth woke, it was with a smile on her face. It was her birthday and, for the first time in years, she would be celebrated by her family.
After bidding her a happy birthday with the rest of the family, William watched from afar how wonderful she looked in a new emerald green dress, a smile on her face and her fine sparkling eyes so alive. He had never seen her look happier than that day. He could see that she was transforming quickly from a girl to a young woman. He was allowing himself to fall in love with her, now that she was sixteen and would soon come out. He would start wooing her to win her heart properly. Until now, he only cared for her like he cared for his other cousins or his own sister. He could not help himself following Elizabeth with his eyes. She was speaking to Mary-Rose and Georgiana and was laughing at something her sister had said.
At one point, their eyes had met, and she smiled shyly at him. He went to her as she opened her gifts. He had given her a rare book of Shakespeare's sonnets, which he requested Mr Gardiner to be on the lookout and luckily found that he knew she was seeking and complete with a beautiful book-mark. Georgiana had gotten her a simple straw bonnet with a dark green ribbon; green was Elizabeth's favourite colour. She had embraced her and thanked them profusely for her gifts.
Elizabeth did notice that William was not himself and it hurt her not knowing why. She was confused about her own feelings which wavered between cousinly affection and something else only towards him, which she did not recognise. He acted as a cousin one minute, and the next she could see deeper feelings in his eyes when thought no one was looking at him.
Maxwell saw how William acted and could not help but think he was a fool! He shared with Richard about his conversation with William and the teasing of their cousin began.
"Good morning, William." Richard said in a light tone of voice.
William had only lifted an eyebrow at him and continued to pour a cup of coffee and glance at the news-paper.
Maxwell said as he entered the breakfast parlour: "Good morning, brother, good morning William, how is your lady love this morning?"
William choked on the sip of coffee - and coughed violently into his serviette. Both brothers laughed at him for his obvious response to their teasing.
"I do not know what you are eluding to, cousin." William stated.
Richard could not stop himself from saying, "I thought it was rather obvious that you, cousin, are rather fond of our youngest sister."
William's eyes widened, and his cheeks turned a faint shade of red as he quickly hid his face behind the news-paper, but neither brother missed it.
Elizabeth had never had such a wonderful birthday. She had noted that one of the many gifts was from Mr Edward Gardiner, Madeline's fiancé. She could almost guess what he had sent.
Madeline had whispered: "Come on, Lizziebeth, open your presents."
She had done as Madeline had suggested and found ten different books from Edward Gardiner! All new ones!
They were in French, English, and Latin; there was even one in Italian, which she had been studying with Madeline for the past two years.
Elizabeth said with a smile: "Remind me to write to Uncle Gardiner later, Maddie," as she began to calling him alongside Jane, since their introduction.
As the afternoon continued and the presents were opened, she was overjoyed with the variety of gifts – books, jewellery, jewellery case, sheet music and a letter of commissioning to have her portrait done.
One of the biggest pleasures of receiving was a gift from Miss Jane Bennet and her family. It was a package containing a handmade dress with the finest embroidery on the bodice and a matching bonnet. It was cheery yellow in colour with the embroidery in white. Elizabeth had carefully touched the dress and smiled at the care Jane had put into a project like this.
The last present she opened was a letter addressed to her. Elizabeth opened it, and was shocked to recognise the script as her father's. With trembling hands, she opened to read;
Dearest Elizabeth,
Today is your 16th birthday; congratulations sweetheart. I hope today is a memorable day for you; it is a norm in my family to hand down a piece of wisdom when one reaches this age. I present you with this diary. I want you to fill the pages with your thoughts, special thoughts about your wonderful life. You start a journey between who you think you are and who you can be. My Elizabeth I want you to know that no matter what, I will always love you. Remember not to let anything or anyone make you fearful. Life is too short to while away in fright and pity. Just believe in yourself, Lizziebeth. If you are reading this, I am no longer with you, but know that I have always loved you.
I have planned with your Uncle for a trip for you - when you turn 17, you shall visit France, Italy, Russia and Denmark. I am sorry that I shall not accompany you on this momentous voyage.
I believe that every young lady, just like any young man, needs to experience the world before being presented at Court or married. It is to journey and learn all you can from the world - and make new friends.
I shall always be with you in your heart I shall miss you becoming a beautiful young lady, my dearest girl.
Please remember to stay true to yourself, your ideas and principles. My dearest Lizziebeth – fall in love and live life to the fullest.
You should also know that a betrothal was made for you while you were still in your cribs to your cousin; I saw him to be a very caring boy and hoped he would become a man whom you could love and esteem. I hope that my estimation is not proven wrong and you will find happiness with him.
Your devoted father
Lewis De Bourgh
As she finished reading her letter, she ran out of the room with tears running down her cheeks.
Madeline and William both stood to go after her but with a quick look from her mother that only he continued and found her in the library crying.
William asked who the letter was from and she handed over it to him to read.
He read the letter and understood why it had left Elizabeth in tears. It was a heart-warming, tender and compassionate letter. It also confirmed Elizabeth's future with him.
William pulled her to him and comforted her by whispering: "I will always care about you. Everything will be alright Beth, - shh, everything is fine."
After she calmed down, Elizabeth realised how tenderly William consoled her and asked, "William, I am confused the way you treat me. You are playful at one moment and silent and distant the other. I am confused enough with my own feelings to have to understand yours too."
"I apologise for my manners Elizabeth. I realised something last night – that I care deeply for you, and I always have. I have been fighting with my own feelings, over that fact and that I want to do right by you. We are betrothed but I shall not have you feel obligated to fulfil that agreement. I want to court you as you deserve, if you wish for it of course and when you are ready. I want to win your heart as if there was no contract binding us together."
Elizabeth looked at him speechless, even though there were several thoughts going through her head at that moment. She finally enabled herself to say, "You...You want to court me?"
"Yes, I do. I would be honoured, if you would allow me to when you are ready. If you do not desire it, say no at once if that is what you feel, but I would like a chance to win your heart properly."
Elizabeth blushed crimson and said with a smile: "Will, I... I realised something too very recently, something I did not understand until now. I...I care deeply for you too, Will. I always have I suppose, but not this way. I realised that the word "care" did not apply any longer - it had turned to something with a deeper meaning,
She continued in a whisper that he strained to hear, but hear he did, due to the proximity, "I realised when you stormed out yesterday that I ... I love you. And yes, you may court me William, when I come out."
"Elizabeth," William said with his heart in his throat, "I love you, you are more important to me than any other besides Georgiana! I realised that my feelings have always been there and always will be. I will love you to my last breath."
"William!" she breathed out.
He quieted her as he placed a tender kiss on her pink lips and held her close to his chest.
She realized that what she felt when William kissed her is definitely what she felt the other night. She attributed this feeling to being in love.
Pointing to the letter, still in his hand, she said, "Papa always wanted the best for me. And apparently he thought you 'the best'" Elizabeth said with a smile.
William responded: "I cannot blame our parents for that, anymore."
"We better join the others. They must be wondering what is keeping us here." Elizabeth said in a quiet voice.
They rose, and Elizabeth folded the letter and smiled. William took her hand, placed a tender kiss on her knuckles and they joined the rest of the party.
When she saw her, Georgiana jumped up and asked worriedly: "Are you all right, Elizabeth?"
"Yes, I am now, Georgie."
Her mother asked: "Are you sure you are alright, dearest?"
"Yes, mother. It was just Papa's letter which surprised me! I did not know he had left a letter to me."
Her father came over and said: "Lewis had left that letter in my care when he realised he would not be present to your sixteenth birthday. This is one of five letters he wrote for you."
"There are more letters?" Elizabeth asked.
"Yes, one for each of the momentous occasions in your life – when you turn 21 years old, when you get engaged, when you are married and when you have your first child."
Elizabeth smiled, but she was trembling with emotion and William pulled her to him in support and everyone ignored the impropriety momentarily.