EDIT: to confirm, YES, this is a Shryik romance. But I am trying a good, slow buildup to this one because I feel the relationship should have a little more meat to it (heh). I do plan for this story to have a lot of detail and a lot of new elements to the ME world, as it is in an AU.

Remember: Reviews help. Have a suggestion? Tell me. Like something? Tell me. Dislike something? Tell me that too. I like feedback.

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It wasn't as if he didn't like her. In fact, his respect and admiration for the woman far surpassed what he had for some of his own peers. She was something unique and new, and it intrigued Nihlus to no end. So, yes, he did like her.

But this was different. While he thought of her as an exceptional being, the adoration never evolved into much of anything else. They were too different from each other for his mind to wander into further territory of the…savory kind. Besides, he had too many turian women for his eyes to be wasting time in ogling a human. But then again, he had to admit there were times when his mind drifted a little too close to the edge. Reading her file and bumping into her from time to time on his diplomatic visits to alliance ships was one thing. Those times were few and far between and he had barely had time to register that she was even female. But then he was assigned to watch her; to essentially live with her on the same ship for weeks. And every so often he would run into her sparring in the cargo bay, or laughing with a few of her peers. Then it escalated to almost every other day that they would see each other in the cargo hold. He would always be polishing one thing or another, and she would always be engulfed in her target practice. Sometimes he would find himself silently watching her shoulders tense right before a shot. He'd begun to count the times she flexed her fingers before placing the index at the trigger. But that was it; that was the extent of his thoughts.

In fact, if Nihlus were to be completely honest with himself, he would admit that he wasn't really thinking at all when he watched her. His mind was completely blank, he would simply be polishing and glancing. And the fact that his always buzzing mind was void of anything when he saw her struck him as quite odd. Perhaps it was a subconscious action to intentionally clear himself of anything that might prove an attraction. But did this mean that he was… interested in her? Well of course he was. He had already established with himself that he was interested. The real question was, which kind of interested was he?

Before today, he would have argued with the whole galaxy that he was interested in her as a soldier; a candidate. He was interested in her skill, not her genitals! But, of course, fate always strikes you when you least expect it. At least, this is what Nihlus decided to blame his newfound attraction on. Yes, it was fate that was causing him to remember the soft sensation of Shepard's lips on his mouth.

What in Spirit's name had gotten into that woman, anyway? If he didn't know any better, he would have thought that she was a little xenophobic. Not that she had displayed any such tendencies, but he figured she wouldn't be quite fond of turians. Especially since she came from a family that was extremely vested in the First Contact war. But apparently, previous bias did not have a hold on Jane Shepard.

Nihlus grunted in frustration. He felt like an idiotic teenager again, pining over some small action of the opposite sex. That was the thing though; that act didn't feel small. Jane hadn't gripped him lustfully like a primed Asari consort. She hadn't mashed her mouth to his forcefully. Unexpectedly, her touch was gentle. Her fingers grazed his mandibles with the tenderness of a lover. Her lips pressed sweetly against the plates of his mouth without want or need or lust. To be on the receiving end of such intimacy; it did things to Nihlus.

For one, he was stunned speechless and motionless. Perhaps if she had displayed those signs of lust, he would have been in the right mind to push her away in disgust. She would have made an unwelcome move with an apparent display of weakness. Instead, Jane might as well have had him in a choke hold. Any humanoid being that he had kissed before had only done it hastily. A lot of Asari women had actually performed the small action out of habit, and apologized to him for it afterwards. But her kiss was long and satisfying. It didn't feel like she wanted him to take her without thought. It felt like…more.

If he wanted to seriously sit and analyze her kiss, he would think back to a few movies he watched with an ex girlfriend. There were a few scenes that portrayed a couple on their first date. The kiss they shared was their goodnight to each other before they parted ways. Jane's kiss was nothing like that. Some other scenes he thought back on showed well established married couples give each other chaste pecks with quick 'I love you's. Also different from Jane's kiss. Then he remembered a third type of kiss scene featured in a tragic movie. A military couple had reunited after their respective deployments to two areas opposite of each other in the Galaxy. The two spotted one another after exiting their vehicles. After practically running and meeting in the middle of the station, they touched each other's faces and kissed with a passion so strong. It was beautiful and sorrowful, happy and panicked all at the same time.

When Jane looked into his eyes with her bright blues, Nihlus swore this was what the couple felt. He saw everything and felt a connection with her. Had she been any other being, her touch to his mandibles would have driven him back immediately. But her caress was soft and warm, and the feel of the pads of her fingers only worked to bring his face closer to her. He had watched her close her eyes slowly and nudge his face with her nose and brush soft lips on his mouth. Even through the rigid plating, he felt strongly how warm she was. It was unlike any physical contact he had ever experienced and he realized the feeling was one of the best. When she gently lifted him away, all he could do was gape at her silently.

But Nihlus knew he was driving himself mad with this. He needed to know why he was reading into the kiss like he was; why the feel of her lips not only heated his loins but stopped his heart dead in its tracks.

He found her in the cargo bay. Jane lay flat on her stomach with her rifle trained on the target at the other end of the hold. Nihlus stepped quietly over and seated himself next to her. He watched her trademark motions, the ones that would help him pick her out as a sniper a mile away; the ones he had grown to know so easily. Jane inhaled deeply and tensed her muscles.

"Shepard." He spoke right when her finger landed on the trigger, but she didn't miss. She never missed.

The silence that followed was somewhat tiring for Nihlus. Talking to the woman that kissed you out of the blue was definitely easier said than done. And if he was the one to be saying so, it should be known just how difficult the task at hand was. His ace in the hole for his entire career was an uncanny ability to talk himself in or out of a situation. Need a way into alliance territory? Send Nihlus Kryik. Want to untie your turian spies from a Quarian diplomatic charge? Nihlus can handle that.

Want to confront an upheld soldier about an instant of unprofessionalism on their part? Count him out.

Where did this leave him, then? Nihlus was stuck between a rock and a hard place, both of which involved this damned woman. If he confronted her, they might never again be able to hold a decent conversation outside of working hours. If he left it alone, he might never find out her likely insane reasoning. And Nihlus had always been a curious turian. Spirits damn it all.

"Shepard," he reiterated, this time with a more pronounced urgency. Perhaps she would get the hint that things were serious. As if she had zoned out for the same amount of time he had, she shook her head slightly and sat up to face him. Gun laid across her legs, and blue eyes piercing his own, Nihlus was a bit intimidated.

"Want to talk somewhere else?" her voice was velveteen and silk. Not a care graced the tones of her question that was asked with such melancholy. It was an interesting contrast that grabbed at his attention.

"Where did you have in mind?"

"Five days from now, Nihlus. As soon as we get off this ship."

"Now that we have the 'when' settled…" His curiosity was starting to itch in the back of his head again. She was acting weird and oddly familiar; as if she had spoken to him so many times that she was prepared for anything that would fly out of his mouth. It felt as if she had known him for years. Her extremely relaxed nature with him was unnerving if not a little uncanny. He was at a complete disadvantage. The kiss was wonderfully new, but it only served to confuse him.

She smirked and softly snorted. "Well wherever it is that we end up when we do get off, then that's where we'll talk."

Nihlus was annoyed to say the least. "Shepard, I'm not following."

Her face was suddenly angry. "Of course you don't. You never do, Nihlus. I swear, I feel like I'm going mad."

She feels like she's going mad? I feel like I am literally losing my sanity, in real time, with each word she speaks!

"Look Shepard, I didn't know how to bring this up to you without hurting you. But you can't just sit there and say these things like you know me. You kissed me, and it was…weird. Not the act itself, but the way you did it. Understand that I am only trying to get an explanation to lessen my confusion." Nihlus heaved a sigh and slouched. He hadn't intended to sound as stern as he did, but it couldn't be helped. He watched her closely, studying any small movements or actions that could clue him into her thoughts. Jane seemed confused herself for a moment before mimicking his exasperated slouch.

"I know that everything I've been saying sounds weird. And I want to apologize before I continue. I'm truly sorry for springing something so intimate on you like that. I didn't think about how it would make you feel."

"Well, I mean I didn't necessarily hate it, but that's a conversation for another time." Nihlus flexed his left mandible slightly outward in a smirk, but Jane was unresponsive.

"Nihlus…This is serious." He nodded his head in assent and decided to allow her to take the lead. She had seemed hard at thought during their entire talk and he realized that she might have a lot to say. He was okay with that.

His keen eyes locked on her throat, convulsing ever so slightly as she swallowed. Nervousness.

Jane was filled to the brim with nervousness. It wasn't just an anxiety of what was to come. With it came the guilt of her actions with the contrasting touch of happiness from simply being in front of him again. Never before had she been so overwhelmed with her emotions. Then again, she would never have guessed that her life would take such an unexpected turn.

She looked into the brightest eyes she had ever seen and saw her tiny reflection in them. She didn't see anger or confusion or regret clouding her image; just a faint picture of her on an emerald background. Out of all of the different versions of him she knew, they were all patient with her. His silence was the best reception she could ask for. Jane closed her eyes and took a few breaths to calm her nerves.

Words and sentences and thoughts sped through her mind and she felt as if she couldn't think straight. She needed to pick something and focus on it.

Nihlus. She chose to focus on him. It was what she had done almost every night when her path to his killer had become difficult. Though this new life had not bestowed her with Nihlus' previous gift, his presence was more than enough. To think, a full year had gone by without him. In that time she found herself aching for him, needed him to be there with her. He was simultaneously everything and nothing, and it killed her inside. His memory was the only thing that had kept her going for so long, yet he sat in front of her now, unknowing of her inner turmoil. She realized she was cursed. Jane Shepard, forced to live a life of tragic repetition while the man in her focus lived over and over again in ignorance. But that was the bittersweet agony of it all. As long as he would continue to live again, she didn't care how many times she had to die to have it reset. And she sure as hell didn't care if he thought her insane. It was time to tell him. The gamble wasn't about getting the truth out sensibly; it was with whether or not he would speak to her again afterwards.

"I need to tell you a few things. We'll start with your Spectre pin."

"My…what about it?"

"Okay, wait. Maybe I should start earlier than that." Shepard paused to clear her throat. "I'm stuck in a time loop, Nihlus. This isn't the first time I've sat in front of you, explaining this situation. Well, to be fair, you didn't believe me last time because I told you it was a dream." She winced at her last interjection. Perhaps it was a mistake to mention a dream. If this Nihlus was anything like the last, he would chalk this all up to be a recurring dream of sorts. She didn't know what she would do if he responded in that like. This time was the last, she swore it. Nihlus will not die before I do. Not again.

"Each time is practically the same. There are a few differences here and there, like which suit you decide to wear for the ground mission or the rifle you choose to push the recon with." Jane smiled as fond memories flooded her. "There was one time where you insisted I target practice with you poking me incessantly. You told me it would help with concentration. The next shot I took after a particularly hard jab from you hit the target's groin. You stopped poking me and said 'I think you've graduated from this school.'"

When her eyes moved up to his again, Nihlus was slackjawed. She took his silence as an invitation. What did she have to lose at this point? "Anyway. The loop always starts with me napping on the crate and waking up. Five days later, you and I are called to Anderson's for a proper introduction and an overview of our mission on Eden Prime. A serious transmission comes in, showing us a glimpse of what is later found out to be a 'Reaper', and we are issued our first assignment together."

"Wait, wait, wait." Nihlus waved his hand at her and shook his head at her. Jane kept quiet, allowing him time to gather his thoughts.

"Are you talking about the same Reaper that is not proven to exist?"

"But they do exist. Large, prehistoric machines that were around long before us. The rest of its kind is sentient and extremely intelligent. AI's essentially. They wiped out the Protheans."

Nihlus couldn't believe what he was hearing. What the hell happened between him scolding her for being unprofessional just moments ago, and right now? It was as if the issue at hand was just set on the back burner. Not only was his previous concern gone, but his feelings had seemed to disintegrate as well. Minutes ticked by as he simply sat, growing ever more numb and uncomfortable. She continued, on and on in sickening detail of each of his deaths. The news was interesting to say the least. Nihlus found himself cutting out illogical fantasies of sexually curious encounters. This situation seemed rather dire, the more he listened. Apparently, Shepard had been experiencing each death repeatedly, one right after the other.

Under any other circumstances, Nihlus would have laughed in the face of someone confessing this sort of story to him. But this was Jane Shepard, serious candidate to Spectre-hood. She was to be taken seriously, even in the face of adversity in the form of something rather impossible. But Nihlus knew not to be ignorant in such a matter. Anything was possible in their damn galaxy, and theirs was only a small part of the universe. How much more did they have to learn about, that their minds were not even able to handle?

So her story continued to amaze him, even with his renewed clarity. He displayed a full spectrum of shock. It was confusing, appalling, curious, intriguing. The more she spoke, the more he listened. He followed her story and eventually found himself emotionally attached to her tale. Her words pulled at his heartstrings when she described his last death. Jane had curled her hand into a fist when she mentioned his gift to her; it must have been her entire world at that point. If all she had grown to know was a life of death, to what did she have to look forward to?

He asked questions here and there, yearning for more detail. Shepard provided answers to what she could. When he finally asked what had made her continue, she didn't reply. They experienced their first lull of the night as she led them from the makeshift shooting range to the mess hall. The middle of the night cycle proved to have the ideal story-telling conditions.

Tea and coffee in hand, the two sat across from each other, absorbed and once again in discussion. Another hour went by before Nihlus had finally stumped her.

"Is my death what triggers the reset for you?"

He watched her eyes lower to stare into her coffee as if the small mug held the answer. It was the first time Nihlus had looked at her in this way. Well, to him at least. He was smart enough to gather from her descriptions of him that they might have spent more time together through each loop; with her obviously remembering everything.

In this light, her skin seemed to give off an almost soft glow. Iridescent wasn't quite the right word, though it did seem rather beautiful in a way. The night cycle lighting in the mess hall was just the right amount of brightness to cast soft shadows along the contours of her face. Nihlus found himself feeling content just to be studying her. It had started off as a peculiar situation, but he realized that their discussion had made them friends. Whether or not he truly believed her was something he would have to think on for a day or two. Everything Jane had said was with complete confidence, and the political details of her chase for Saren had made a lot of sense. Everything was realistic; except for the part with the Reapers. Again, it was something he would have to think about.

For now, Nihlus deemed it necessary to reassure this woman. She might still be a mystery to him, but she was obviously distraught. Throughout their conversation he had noticed her becoming more and more soft spoken. She had gradually brought them down to a kind of whisper. Tears were ever present in her eyes while she recounted her most recent memories. But now, as he watched her contemplating the answer to his lingering question, she was stoic; and it was unsettling.

"…Shepard?" She looked up at him. Were her blue eyes always this bright?

"I don't know. I haven't tried dying before you. I don't know if that's selfish of me. I just… I think I've just wanted you to believe me for so long. I don't think I wanted to try. If I didn't reset when I died, then there wouldn't be another chance to find out if the loop I was stuck in changed anything. I don't want all of this to be for nothing, Nihlus. I need to find out why this is happening."

So that was it; a purpose. Jane Shepard had told him things that she probably would not have revealed to anyone else on the ship. So, this left him curious. And of course, he was an unusually curious turian.

"So what do you need me to do, then?"

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He had asked her what she wanted of him. It was the first time, in what seemed to be an eternity, in which she had felt anything close to relief. With his simple question, the tightly wound coil of nerves that had bundled up in her gut loosened itself. She felt free, in a sense. Nihlus nudged her from her left side.

They stood next to each other, waiting for their orders to be given. Her turian had his hand on the release lever, just as he always did in the times prior. But this time was so obviously different. They were about to hit ground together. Shepard was giddy and nervous and excited all at once. This reset loop was different. She had finally done it; finally convinced Nihlus to heed her warnings. They had discussed in length their plan of attack. Jane taught him every detail about Eden Prime. She made him memorize every turn they would take.

Not only would this mission start differently, they would end it on their own terms this time. Jane hadn't forgotten her promise to Saren. She remembered what she had told him before he killed her. As she looked up to Nihlus, her eyes searched his face. She was looking for nervousness to match hers, but she found none.

"Shepard, just so you know, I don't like this. But I'm doing it for you. If you say this will work, then I trust you."

She smiled and returned his nudge as the order came to release the hatch. It was time for payback.