A/N: Thank you guys for all the lovely reviews! And my sincerest thank yous to everyone who's faved/followed/read. I hope you enjoy this story in the future, too.

Sorry for the long wait. I had difficulties with the ending of this chapter, and it took me forever!

Some of you have been asking this, and yes―Naruto is definitely the seme in this story for Gaara. ;)

Chapter 4: Okay Maybe We Are Friends

The next morning Naruto's fever had not come down. When Gaara told him he'd be staying home with him instead of going to work it expectedly caused a roar of resistance on Naruto's part.

Calmly Gaara let the blond have his polite rant but deep down he had no intention of changing his mind. Besides, only last month his boss had once again reminded him about the unused vacation days he had in store. Now more than ever was a good moment to use some of them.

With some selected threats Gaara managed to keep the blond from fussing around. Silently sighing, he immersed in the preparation of ramen. He tried to remember how Naruto had made it back then. It had looked so effortless. Re-reading the instructions, Gaara wished his version would be even remotely as delicious as that of the blond's.

After some sweating and hushed curse words, Gaara brought a bowl of steaming ramen to the bedside. Naruto was speechless.

"For me?" he asked the obvious.

"No. For the monsters under the bed," Gaara quipped. "Of course this is for you."

"But…" Naruto trailed off, gulping.

Before that ridiculous politeness could go on any further, Gaara left the stuttering blond alone and returned to the kitchen. Rather unenthusiastically he opened a can of meatballs in sauce that had stood in the cupboard longer than he cared to remember. He didn't really have an appetite but cooking for his friend had been nice indeed.

Wait a second. Friend?

Maybe they were not friends yet. Most likely they would never be. Within two months Naruto would surely find a better job and leave their mundane office behind. A man like him was bound to get bored sooner or later. To someone like him the whole world was an adventure. Something interesting would always be waiting for him just behind the corner.

A little depressed he ate the cold meatballs one by one.

But seriously. A friend?

There was no doubt. He was getting feverish, too.

Back in the main room, Gaara sat quietly and listened to Naruto's stuffy nose as it whined at every breath.

Thankfully the blond had rested for the day and not even once had Gaara caught him doing housework. When he was quiet and sleepy like that he was actually rather nice to have around. But as soon as that thought arose he dismissed it. Naruto would leave sooner or later. The blond would have no time to be friends with someone like him.

A little angry for some unexplainable reason Gaara glared towards the bed. He was just the last resort. He was pathetic and dull and he wished he would forget about himself even for a short moment of time.

"Hey Gaara?" the patient in the bed mumbled. As if knowing he wouldn't get an answer, Naruto continued anyway, "Thank you."

Gaara huffed. There was no need for such politeness. He was just doing what any co-worker would do.

"I haven't eaten ramen so good in ages," Naruto told him.

That couldn't be true. It had to be another exaggeration masked in unneeded politeness. Gaara didn't like the feeling that stirred inside of him. In a bored manner, he picked up a book and pretended to read it.

"I know this is a lot to ask, but―" Naruto cut himself off in obvious unease. When Gaara made no gesture to encourage or discourage his speech, the blond finally sighed and finished, "Could I stay here for another night?"

"You can stay as long as you like," Gaara replied for he knew that neither of them could predict how long his illness would keep him in bed.

"I want to pay you, alright? Is 60$ per night alright for you?" Naruto asked tensely, like he was ashamed.

Gaara placed his book on the coffee table and walked to the bed. He stared down at his guest and when the blond began to squirm, he spoke.

"I wish you would quit trying to pay me back. I don't want money."

"Then what is it you want?" Naruto asked but his ashamed gaze was elsewhere.

Gaara touched his feverish forehead and the blond startled. "Your fever's gone up again. I'll bring you more medicine."

There was no doubt. The blond was getting delirious. Why was it so hard for him to understand that he desired nothing in exchange? He had already everything he could ever need. And it wouldn't take long until all his earthly possessions would become unneeded.

Naruto checked his phone. A message from Kankuro didn't really surprise him but he felt already sorry in advance as he knew he couldn't go there. The dreamy brunet and his stacks of money he stuffed into Naruto's pockets in the end. Even though he always pretended to despise such an offering, he needed the money.

'The house is empty for the next three days.'

Naruto smiled bittersweetly and replied: 'I'm sorry. This time I can't come.'

'Please… I've missed you.'

Naruto sighed and didn't know what to say. He just wanted to go back to the colorful fever dreams he had been seeing all day.

In the meanwhile, Kankuro the quick writer had sent another message: 'You know I love you. You're the only thing that keeps me going.'

He wanted to groan. But leaving the man without a reply wouldn't be an option.

'I love you too, and I'm so sorry. I've fallen ill and I'm at a friend's place to recover.'

The silence that followed wasn't entirely relieving to him. He didn't really love the man like he had said. It was just part of the game, maybe even more on Kankuro's part than his. As far as he had interpreted it, in their code language 'love' meant he had an obligation to submit into Kankuro's whims. And the brunet's role was to offer him a safe place for the night and gift him with generous amounts of money.

In a way, 'love' was a deal that benefitted them both. But how it made Naruto feel about himself was a different story.

"Is something wrong?" Gaara asked and managed to startle Naruto.

The blond only then noticed the redhead had returned to the main room and was now looking at his way.

"You looked distressed," the redhead explained before going back to his book.

Was Gaara worried about him? Or just curious? But Gaara had never seemed as a curious person before.

"Just a friend…" Naruto began and the redhead's attention returned on him. What was that look on Gaara's face? Was it sadness? Before he could inspect Gaara's expression any further, blankness overtook his features and hid all evidence.

"Just a worried friend, that's all."

When his companion didn't pursue the conversation any further, Naruto leaned back into the mattress and pulled the blanket all the way up to his neck. Gaara was once again wearing out that one spot on the floor and reading a book.

Just to kill time―since he was too alert to sleep but too tired to read or watch TV―he let his gaze rest on various points of his surroundings.

Gaara was wearing slacks and a dress shirt again and it never ceased to wonder Naruto how the guy enjoyed such formal clothes so much. It was a strong contrast compared to those youthful clothes he had seen him wearing at the bar. That fishnet shirt had definitely been… eye-catching.

It made him wonder why the redhead had been there in the first place, dressed like that. But the moment he had noticed Naruto, he had turned oddly closed and reserved. And when Gaara had caught him staring at the fishnet, he had protectively zipped up his hooded jacket.

It made him wonder if Gaara ever felt uneasy around him. He hadn't meant to stare so long and now that he had learned of his divorce and probable straightness, he pondered if little things like that were troubling him.

He hadn't meant anything by that stare, and he hoped Gaara knew it too. At least that was what he kept on telling himself.

Later in the evening Naruto woke up from his drowse as the other side of the bed sank. Gaara had sat down and placed a tray of food and medicine next to Naruto.

"Here," the redhead said and gave him a thermometer. Out of habit, he tested the blond's forehead with his hand.

Naruto closed his eyes and when the cool hand withdrew, heat flooded to his cheeks. His fever had to be going up again.

"Your fever has come down," Gaara announced as he saw the readout on the thermometer.

"O-Oh really?" Naruto asked and directed his attention on the food instead. "Then I can go to work tomorrow."

"It's recommended to rest one day after the fever's gone," Gaara reminded matter-of-factly.

"I know. But I'm feeling alright. Besides, they'll start wondering at work if the two of us are absent so many days in a row," Naruto argued.

Gaara lifted a nonexistent brow. "Why would they put two and two together?"

"You know how keen they are on gossiping about the most trivial of things," Naruto shrugged and laughed uneasily.

"I don't care what they think. They hold no meaning for me," Gaara said monotonously.

Warmth spread on Naruto's cheeks again and he busied himself with his tea. If those people at work held no meaning for Gaara, did it mean that he was an exception? Well, considering all the care he had received from him due to this flu, it shouldn't be so shocking to realize.

But even so, Naruto couldn't stop his cheeks from burning.

It had been calm for so long he should've known it was only an omen of an upcoming storm.

For so long he had stayed out of touch with his parents that he had started to imagine they didn't even exist anymore. Any text message from his mother always made him nauseated, and on this otherwise peaceful morning, what else could be waiting for him when he checked his phone but just that.

Before even reading the message in full he already guessed what it was about. His father had started drinking again.

He didn't want to know and his selfishness made his stomach sick. Not for the first time and certainly not for the last he wished his parents were dead. Briefly he wondered if he should tell his siblings but then he remembered they were equally reluctant to be dragged back into whatever was happening at home.

And besides, he didn't want to keep in touch with Kankuro or Temari, either.

Sharp shouts of anger penetrated the thin excuses of walls and traveled aggressively straight into Gaara's ears. He wished his neighbors were dead, too, and by the sound of it, it wouldn't be too far in the future.

"Hey Gaara you awake yet?"

Shaken out of the slumber of his thoughts, Gaara snapped back to present. He had forgotten the blond man's existence altogether. Slightly annoyed, he opened the closet door but fell back on the mattress right after.

"What's wrong? You look like someone just murdered your family, or something horrible like that."

Gaara smiled. It was an optimistic, unpreventable reaction for words so sweet and even though he realized his expression was not socially acceptable, he couldn't immediately turn his face back to stone.

Naruto didn't seem to question his choice of emotion, however, but responded with a grin of his own.

"You like omelet, right?" the blond asked good-heartedly. "Well guess what. I made you some but without eggshells this time."

Gaara stared at the beaming blond. From behind him sunlight flooded into the closet. His posture was flawless, just like the confident look in his azure eyes.

"I'm not hungry," Gaara apologized. He didn't feel that great to be honest. The weight of his mother's message was sinking him deeper into the mattress.

"Aww come on," Naruto encouraged and happily hopped into the kitchen. For someone who had suffered from high fever only on the previous day, he sure had suspiciously much energy in the morning.

At breakfast table Gaara found himself going for the seconds with the omelet. He wondered why it was that around Naruto his lack of appetite rarely prevented him from eating.

After breakfast Gaara locked himself in the bathroom. He spent some extra minutes under the warm water, leaning on the tiles and contemplating life in general. The hum of shower erased all the other sounds and when he closed his eyes, the cool tiles were the only reminder he was still a part of this world.

The river that streamed through their city was not yet frozen. If a person were to fall into it, their body would have a good chance of staying unfound until spring at least. If the river would freeze until the body began to float, nobody would be any wiser of the missing person's whereabouts.

Despite the hot steam in the bathroom that made his skin sweat, Gaara stubbornly pulled up his slacks and buttoned his dress shirt all the way up. Only when he was clad from head to toe, did he unlock the door and let the steam out.

Naruto was on the phone. He looked anxious.

"What do you mean 'don't bother coming later if I don't come now'?" he was asking. He stopped his pacing with his unaware back turned to Gaara's direction.

"Come on, isn't that a bit unreasonable?" Naruto argued to whoever it was on the other end of the line. "Yeah, I'm feeling better today but I should still rest. Yes, I see what you mean. No, that's not what I was saying."

It sounded like a fight. Silently Gaara retreated into the kitchen and poured the leftover coffee into his cup. Naruto, the sociable man and everyone's favorite person, surely had plenty of friends. It wouldn't surprise him to learn that everyone fought for his company and wanted to have him around. In a battle like that Gaara didn't have a chance. He was dull and boring, a stark opposite of Naruto.

When he heard the blond's quiet steps on the doorway he knew what to expect.

"I have to go. I'm sorry."

"Just don't wear yourself out," Gaara said without a trace of emotion in his voice.

Unlike earlier, this time it was harder to keep up his impassive mask. When he was absolutely sure his face was nothing but a blank canvas, he dared to turn around and face his guest.

"If you fall ill again because of unnecessarily fussing around, I will lock you in the closet until you recover," Gaara muttered, attempting to lighten up the mood.

Naruto smiled like the sun and before he knew it, the blond was patting him on the shoulder like he was 'one of the guys'.

"You're a great friend, Gaara. Thanks. I really appreciate what you've done for me. No one's been so nice to me before. If you ever need anything, don't hesitate to ask."

A great friend?

Gaara turned away stoically and adopted his accustomed reserved mannerism in a second. He watched Naruto pack his things while gripping his coffee mug tightly. Was he really Naruto's friend? And was it true that he was the first to treat him this nicely? Gaara had just been considerate. He hadn't meant to go overboard with it or anything.

Surely the blond must've exaggerated again. A man like Naruto would have plenty of people rolling the red carpet out in front of him. What Gaara had done was nothing special or remarkable. Naruto was just being nice to him, right?

But when the blue-eyed blond stood on the doorway, hesitating his departure for some reason, he suddenly moved towards Gaara like he attempted to hug him. Maybe it was the miniature shock on Gaara's face or a sudden change of plans but instead of a hug Naruto settled for a long handshake.

When his tanned hand withdrew, his blue eyes were unreadable and without a word, he vanished into the wintry world that was bolted behind the door.

It was so quiet again. Quiet and peaceful.

Peaceful and boring.

Just like me.

But unlike any other time Naruto had been here, this time Gaara felt something had been different in the end. The usual nervousness and unexplainable reserve Naruto treated his surroundings with had lessened to a minimum albeit it wasn't completely gone.

It felt like the man had started to trust him. And he had called him a friend.

Even though it made him feel light in the heart he couldn't be sure if these feelings were to be trusted.

A week or so later Naruto's exuberant mood was radiating all over the office. It was unsure to Gaara if the blond was aware of it but it looked like there was a smile on everyone's face that day. Their small sun was currently spreading happiness near the coffee machine. Gaara thought of fetching a cup but then decided against it. He could feel the rays all the way to his cubicle already.

In a downstairs corridor leading to the restrooms Gaara met the joyous blond. There was no one else around.

"Hey wait," Naruto stopped him as he was about to make his way past him.

"I think I've finally gotten an apartment," Naruto boasted and threw his fists in the air in a sign of victory.

"Congratulations," Gaara replied and an unknown weight lifted from his shoulders.

"Thanks," Naruto grinned and put his hands behind his head. "The landlord said I could get the place. He said he has to check some things but promised to call me in the afternoon so we can sign the lease."

The blond was all smiles and it was clearly impossible for him to contain his excitement. Even that one broken bulb in the long line of corridor lamps didn't stand out as much now when Naruto was shining his light all over the place.

"It's a very small apartment but it's not too far away from here. The rent is reasonable, too," Naruto mused and Gaara found it hard to not let his good mood rub off on him, too.

"Maybe we should celebrate this somehow?" Gaara found himself saying.

Naruto's smile widened. "I'd love to. See you around before the office closes, alright?"

The redhead nodded and when he slowly made his way back upstairs, he couldn't wipe out the faint smile from his face.

The most of his colleagues had already left but Gaara hadn't seen a trace of the blond since their latest chat. There was a chance Naruto had momentarily gone out with his other friends, so Gaara wasn't too worried.

Eventually he noticed he was the only one left and with a slight frown he began to pack his bag. He decided to pay a quick visit to the restroom before he would leave, too, and then text the blond to ask if there had been a change of plans after all.

In the empty restroom, Naruto stood facing the mirror.

"Oh, hi," the blond said quietly but this time his earlier bubbly enthusiasm was nowhere to be seen.

"Everybody's left already. I thought you had, too," Gaara told and remained on his spot, studying his co-worker. "What's wrong?"

Naruto shook his head slowly. "Ah, you know. The landlord found something wrong with my credit rating and called our negotiations off. Just my luck, heh."

That was horrible news. Gaara wanted to console his friend but wasn't sure how.

"The thing is, some years ago I was short on money and I was forced to leave some bills unpaid. At the same time I was trying to help a friend in a similar situation and I guess we both ended up in trouble despite our efforts," Naruto told and laughed bittersweetly.

Gaara placed a tentative hand on his shoulder. Naruto looked at him, surprised. "I'm sorry to hear that."

Before the contact would start to feel weird, Gaara quickly withdrew his hand and put it into his pocket. He didn't want to leave Naruto here all alone, not with this mood he was struggling with.

Naruto looked absolutely crestfallen. His blue eyes had dimmed into steel blue and even those whiskered marks on his cheeks were drooping in despair.

"How about we go somewhere to eat? My treat," Gaara offered.

With a feeble shrug Naruto agreed.

It was a Japanese restaurant, one that the blond had chosen for them.

While waiting for their food to arrive they sipped their drinks in mutual silence. Naruto felt desperate and anguished but in the company of his red haired friend he felt strangely better. No one else had noticed the drop in his mood in the afternoon but the redhead. Or at least no one else had asked if there was something wrong with him.

His homelessness was a secret he protected dearly and no one else at the office but Mr. Sabaku was trusted with that information.

"Gaara? Is that really you?" a woman's voice called.

Both Naruto and Gaara turned to look at the blond, busty lady who now stood before their table.

"Tsunade," the redhead said tightly.

"Long time no see. How are you doing?" the woman asked kindly yet confidently.

"…Fine," Gaara replied and sat completely still like a statue. His eyes were cast downwards and there was no expression on his face.

The woman turned to Naruto, giving him a head to toe glance.

"I'm Naruto, Gaara's friend," the blond introduced himself with a polite smile.

"It's nice to see you've made a friend," the lady said and ruffled Gaara's hair in a motherly way. The stiffening of his shoulders was the only reaction he showed.

"I'd love to have a dinner with you someday for old times' sake," Tsunade suggested and then added, "I've thought about us lately and… I just, well, nowadays I'm sober."

Naruto stilled in his seat, bringing his glass to his lips to hide any curiosity that crossed his mind.

Her hand lingered on Gaara's shoulder. The paleness on his cheeks had turned into tender pink.

"I'll give you call, alright?" she promised before leaving.

Naruto fidgeted in his seat and waited for the quiet redhead to explain something, anything. When the only visible thing he got was a slight loosening of Gaara's tensed posture, Naruto sighed and lowered his glass.

"Who was she?" he finally asked, not even sure himself why it interested him so much.

"My ex-wife," Gaara told quietly.

"Really?" Naruto replied in shock, thinking of ways to compliment her. "Uh, she seemed nice. She looked like about the same age as my mom."

Oops.

Gaara shot him an annoyed glare and the feeble color on his cheeks deepened.

"Sorry. I didn't mean it as a bad thing," Naruto apologized humbly and waved his hands in the air in panic. "I just didn't expect her to be…"

"…In her fifties," Gaara finished the thought indignantly.

"Look, it's none of my business, alright?" Naruto reminded. "I'm sorry."

Gaara sighed tiredly, "It's alright. You're not the first one to point out things like that."

"People are ignorant, including me. It's nobody's business who you marry to. Love is love, and that's it," Naruto tried to save the situation.

Gaara didn't reply but the annoyed look slowly vanished from his face. When their food arrived Naruto busied himself with his ramen, careful at not to bring up any explosive topics anymore.

To his surprise, somewhere in the hours of the evening Gaara re-opened their long-buried conversation. Maybe it had to do with the delicious desserts they had ordered―which had visibly lifted up both of their moods―or maybe it was thanks to the few beers they had downed.

"We met when I was in high school. When I started college, we moved in together and sometime after that, we got married," the redhead told.

Naruto wiped his mouth on a napkin while listening. He was curious of how they had met but didn't dare to ask.

"There were obstacles in the way of our happiness, which eventually led to a divorce," Gaara told, swinging his water and ice cubes around in his glass.

Naruto listened to the little chinking noise of ice cubes hitting against the glass. "I'm sorry to hear that."

Gaara waved his hand in the air like he was tired of the topic. Naruto sipped his drink pensively and wondered how strange life was. Never would he have believed someone like Mr. Sabaku would find a soulmate in a woman twice his age.

"Have you ever been married, Naruto, or had a long-term girlfriend?"

Naruto startled at the question, not only because it was something he hadn't seen coming but because Gaara rarely showed interest in his personal life.

"Can't say that I have," the blond told with a bittersweet voice and sipped his drink again.

"That's surprising, given how you're Mr. Popular at the office," Gaara said but it was unclear if he was being humorous or not.

"Getting along with people is a lot easier than finding someone you fall in love with," Naruto only replied and averted his gaze.

His words got no reply, and when he eventually glanced at his red haired co-worker again, there was an empty look in his jade eyes. Absentmindedly, Gaara was biting the straw in his drink and staring into distance.

"I don't know if I've ever really loved anyone. And I'm not good at getting along with people, either," Gaara confessed and his honesty surprised Naruto.

"But you were married," the blond pointed out, not sure how to approach the redhead's words. He was afraid that if he tried to guide their conversation into more personal level, Gaara would close himself in like a clam.

"Marriage doesn't have to do anything with love," the redhead only told and chewed his straw again.

"That's a rather cynical point of view."

"But it's practical," Gaara replied. "What else is marriage but a legal contract between two people?"

"I wouldn't want a marriage without love," the blond said quietly and looked softly at the sad-looking redhead.

Gaara seemed to miss the tenderness in Naruto's gaze, given how his desolation never subsided. It was a sad sight, and Naruto wanted to wipe the emotion away from his friend's face. Someone kind and considerate like Gaara deserved a fair slice of happiness, too.

"I'm sure things will work out for you, eventually. You'll find someone precious. Maybe it will happen when you least expect it," Naruto said with a warm smile.

Gaara's stare was downright searching and Naruto had never seen such depth before. Unlike usually, now the redhead looked defeated and perhaps even vulnerable, not at all like his usual guarded self. To say he looked hopeless was maybe an exaggeration, but the hollowness that radiated from him made Naruto frown.

Naruto wanted to say something more, he wanted to reach closer to his friend's soul, but he was afraid Gaara would close himself in. Before he could make up his mind about what to say, the redhead decided to speak.

"I'm not so sure what fate awaits me, but you're a likeable person, Naruto. I can see you meeting some wonderful girl and falling in love, having a family and a house that has more windows than my apartment has square meters. And I'm sure there's a line of candidates waiting behind your door even now."

Naruto snorted at how far from reality such an innocent assumption was. Most certainly he wasn't looking for a girl, and to think there would be an actual line of them just waiting to date him, was the most ridiculous thing he had heard in a while. Gaara had said it with such seriousness that he wasn't sure if it was his honest view or an attempt to joke around.

Nevertheless, it made Naruto chuckle.

A homeless guy like him, with a credit rating that was nothing to celebrate with, he was hardly a catch in anyone's eyes. His looks could only get him so far, and as soon as anyone he liked noticed his social status, suddenly they were not interested anymore. He didn't blame them, though. He wasn't the best option out there and he knew it.

Out of all the people he had met in the past years, only Gaara was genuinely hospitable towards him. To notice the redhead wasn't actually looking for anything 'less honorable' for reward was a miracle that astonished Naruto even today. Gaara was a nice man, and his looks weren't bad either.

Briefly he was reminded of the sight of Gaara panting, cheeks red and eyes half-closed, leaning on a tree trunk for support.

"Do you want to spend the night at my place?" Gaara asked, oblivious.

"S-Sure," Naruto agreed and gripped his glass tighter.

At the train station they noticed the last train was about to leave. Naruto steadied his duffel bag more securely on his shoulder and seized Gaara's hand.

"We've got to run. Come on!"

Gaara had no chance to refuse when the blond was already tugging him along. With haste they ran towards the train and only barely made it in time. When they hopped inside, the doors closed behind them and the vehicle started to move.

Thankfully it was not crowded. They sat down next to each other, and only when Gaara made a move to free his hand, did Naruto realize he was still holding him tightly. A little ashamedly he let go but didn't apologize. An elder couple sitting on the opposite side of the corridor gave them a prolonged look and it was clear Gaara noticed them too.

But Naruto couldn't bring himself to care of what they might be thinking. All he wanted to concentrate on was the out-of-breath redhead next to him and his slightly flushed cheeks. He wanted to seize Gaara's hand again and hold it for the rest of the ride.

Where these thoughts had come into his mind, he wasn't sure. It could be that losing that one promising apartment, and the depression that had followed, were the reasons why he was feeling more emotionally confused today than usually. And then his red haired friend had complimented him and told him there was a bright future waiting for someone like him.

Naruto blinked. He was mixing things up. Gaara being nice to him (in his own, restrained way) was something his turbulent heart confused for something it was not. Naruto tried to tell his heart that, but it didn't listen. For an answer, it only beat two beats faster when Gaara absentmindedly licked his dry lips, unaware of being watched.

Given how Gaara had kept on talking about marriage and girlfriends as if no other options were even there, he most likely was straight. Naruto didn't know why it made him so sad right then, like a wind going through a graveyard.

Gaara turned to look at him just then and noticed him staring.

Naruto meant to smile but instead he forgot how to do it and just kept on staring at his friend with a loaded look. A questioning frown visited Gaara's face before it turned blank again, and he rested his head on the bench tiredly. He closed his eyes with a sigh, and Naruto was drawn into that sight more than anything.

Later on Naruto was lying on the bed and resting his eyes on the quiet redhead who was reading a book.

Whenever they were together, he felt safe and happy. The horrors of having no home were postponed to another day whenever he spent his nights in here. If he hadn't had so many kind friends who helped accommodate him, he surely would've lost himself in drugs and despair long time ago.

And even so he occasionally found himself in situations where being sober was just too unbearable. Being intoxicated was dangerous, for it exposed him to all kind of other threats many had no idea of, but in some cases it was the better of two evils.

Hooking up with strangers in order to get a place for the night was an absolute nightmare every time. He hadn't really talked about that side of his life to anyone. Some wounds were just too deep to open up about.

And it made him wonder what wounds Gaara had that made him so defeated and sorrowful.

Some time ago Gaara had noticed the way Naruto was looking at him, but he kept on pretending he didn't notice.

Such concentration was rare to see on someone like Naruto, and if Gaara recalled right, not even the most difficult tasks at work could surface that kind of deep contemplation.

If he thought about it logically, the only reason for Naruto to be looking at him in such an obsessed way was pity. Yes, pity. Tonight, his co-worker―no, his friend―had found out the identity of his ex-wife. Gaara was ashamed. There was a reason why only few knew of his personal life in the first place.

The next logical step would be that Naruto started thinking there was something wrong with him. Gaara had, after all, been married to a woman that could be easily mistaken for his mother. Would Naruto think badly of him from now on? Did he pity him, secretly seeing Gaara as a twisted weirdo?

And if so, how long would it take until Naruto would politely let go of their friendship?

These doubts were making Gaara's throat dry and with a little bit more force than he intended to, he slapped his book shut and headed to the kitchen. A tall glass stood on the upper shelf on the cupboard and he reached for it, standing on his tiptoes but unable to get it. As much as he appreciated Naruto doing the dishes, he absolutely cursed the taller man's habit of placing everyday kitchenware on the upper shelves.

But admitting his shortness and getting a chair for help was out of question, of course. With his accustomed annoyance, Gaara was about to give up and opt for a used mug on the sink instead, when Naruto suddenly stood right behind him and easily grabbed the glass.

"Here," the blond said with a smile.

Wordlessly Gaara filled the glass with water and then slowly began to sip it. He was thankful and annoyed at the same time. Thankful, because his friend had helped him out. Annoyed, because he had needed help in something simple like this.

"I always forget how short you are," the blond said friendlily, and this notion all but delighted Gaara. "Sorry I put these up in here, it was very unthinking of me," Naruto apologized and began re-organizing the cupboard.

Gaara stepped aside, appreciating the effort yet unwilling to show how he felt. Why did he have to be like this? Was showing gratitude really that hard?

Even though he tried to loosen up, he couldn't find a way to thank Naruto. Because he was acting closed-off like this again his friend would no doubt interpret his actions as smugness and coldness. He was not good with people, yet this knowledge never helped him to alter his behavior.

No, from day to day he remained as an aloof grouch and the fact that someone like Naruto was still around felt like the eighth wonder of the world.

"You know, Gaara…" the blond trailed off while trying to decide if the scarce mugs and glasses should be organized in neat rows or if they could be just mixed up randomly. To no one's surprise he ended up with the latter.

"I don't know if you were joking or not, but you were wrong about me. As far as I know, no one's lining up behind my door to date me. Man, you should've seen the way Ino and her gang were looking at me the other day when I was wearing my orange chinos. Let me tell you, that was not a look of adoration," the blond chuckled with self-irony.

"But you on the other hand…" Naruto continued his monologue and smiled mysteriously at the cups and mugs, "You seem to catch the ladies' eyes pretty often."

"I couldn't care less," Gaara blurted out rather coldly before he could stop himself.

Naruto stopped what he was doing and stared at him for a moment in that mysterious way only he could. Gaara shifted in his spot a little, not sure what in his words had caused such a reaction. A genuine smile came to Naruto's face and he closed the cupboard doors.

"Well, that is none of my business," Naruto replied and crossed his arms in front of his chest. "But let me just say that whatever you might be telling yourself, you're a fun guy and nice to have around."

That could not be true. Gaara refused to believe that description of himself. There was no way someone like the blond could make that kind of positive judgment based on the interaction they had had so far.

And then the thought came back to him again: if he didn't change his behavior to more open and friendly, Naruto would grow tired of him and eventually leave. The idea made him sad, and at the same time he wondered if he could ever live up to the positive image Naruto seemed to have of him.

He had to try, and so Gaara said quietly, "I appreciate you doing housework around here but I don't want you to tire yourself out. You need to rest while you can."

Sadness visited the grayish blue eyes of Naruto and he hesitated a good moment before replying, "Thanks. It's just… I'm not used to people telling me to do nothing. Where ever I go, I am expected to do something."

"Well, that rule doesn't apply here," Gaara only told.

The blond's hesitation seemed to grow and his next words took longer than the previous ones.

"There are a lot of people out there who have no second thoughts of taking advantage of guys like me. I am so used to it that I even expect it, and I guess that was the case with you too, in the very beginning… But you're something else, Gaara. You're not like them."

At first Gaara felt saddened for his friend's sake but soon that sorrow turned into doubt and he began analyzing the things in between the lines.

Compared to the scum, Gaara looked to be pretty alright. Wasn't that what Naruto had meant?

And it wouldn't take longer than the next honestly good person for Naruto to meet, that the blond would realize Gaara was not the funny, nice guy he had mistaken him for.

And then, Naruto would leave.

Gaara was angry at himself for once again thinking only of himself and his own pain, when he should've just moved forward and tried to comfort Naruto. But no, here he was yet again, wallowing in his worthless self-pity.

He was about to leave the room in hopes of getting his head cleared, when Naruto seized his wrist.

"Out of all the good people I've met, you're one of the best."

Blue eyes looked honest and sincere and this time it was hard for Gaara to deny those words, or find any lingering misinterpretations behind them. It made him feel strange. Warmth was a small bundle inside his chest that unfurled slowly until it had covered him in a comfortable sensation, like a friendly embrace.

Naruto's hold dripped down from his wrist until they were holding hands. Gaara's pale, limp fingers stayed in that touch like he was an involuntary part of this communication. When Naruto's fingers threatened to let go, a pulse of energy (or perhaps it was desperation) coursed through Gaara and he squeezed his friend's hand quickly.

And as soon as he did it, Gaara let go and headed to the main room. Naruto stayed behind, but even so Gaara felt like his friend presence was with him, entwined around his pitiful soul like a warm embrace.