Ruth and Molly were gone. Cora was asleep for the night, and Jack was left sitting on his back stoop, smoking a cigarette as his mind went over the information he had just received about Rose. She hadn't left because she didn't want him. She left because of a mental break. Sighing he shook his head. He should have known. After all, the nightmares had never stopped. That haunted dimness in her eyes had never gone away, not even in their happiest moments.

So now the question was no longer why she had left or even where she was, because he now knew both of the answers to those questions. The new question was what now? Did he take her back and hope for the best? Or send her on her way with her mother and Molly and hope that she gets better?

A part of him wanted to help her. He wanted to take her back and be the family that they had planned. Then the hurt would rise up and remind him of the two years of devastation that he had just healed from. Did he really want to risk his heart again?

Jack was so deep into his thoughts, he didn't hear the back door open and close and his cousin come out and sit next to him, looking at him annoyed as he puffed on his cigarette.

"So you're smoking again? After that whole talk of sitting an example for Cora?" Lisa frowned. She had been so proud of Jack for quitting the cigarettes, but now here he was again smoking...and looking miserable. Maybe that visit with his friend wasn't a good idea after all. He's been quiet ever since the women had left.

"Sometimes the craving is too strong...this is one of those times," Jack replied, not looking at her. He knew that both his Uncle and cousin had questions. He had just hoped that they would wait to ask them. He should have known that Lisa wouldn't wait. She had always been impatient, ever since they were children. It was a trait that she never outgrew.

Lisa gave a low whistle, her eyes never leaving Jack. Ever since his return to their lives, she knew that he held secrets. There had been more to his travels than he was telling and it was painful. Her father and warned her to leave it be, afraid that Jack would disappear again if they pushed, and since they were in love with his baby daughter, they just couldn't let that happen again. But she couldn't help it this time. The mystery of Jack's life on the road…it was knocking at the door, begging to be investigated somehow. Like, why had Jack's wife left him so suddenly and why had her mother just shown up out of the blue like this and what had that Brown woman have to do with all of it? Why did it have Jack smoking again?

"So...that was her mother…," She knew that it was dangerous territory she was entering, but it had to be talked about now.

"Yes it was," Jack's answer was flat and emotionless as he puffed on his cigarette and stared out into space.

"Mrs. Dewitt Bukater doesn't seem like a very warm person at all. I can't see her being good for Cora."

"If mom and dad were still alive to be grandparents, I wouldn't be so accepting of her. But she's the only grandparent Cora has and...well...I never saw her be so...gentle as she was with Cora. She's like a entirely different person," Jack shrugged. "Then again, she still looks at me like I'm some dangerous insect."

"Still...I don't know. Maybe you're right. Cora can use all the family she can get anyway. There's not that many of us Dawsons to claim and who knows where her mother is…," She frowned when she saw Jack's wince at the mention of Cora's mother and knew something was up. "Okay, judging from your expression, you now know where she is."

"Lisa, no offense, but I still don't want to talk about Rose."

"Why? Jack, I am trying to understand here, but it's hard. Daddy and I have both been patient and careful never to bring it up…but something's changing. Her mother showing up unannounced...your quietness after a visit with your friend..."

"Damn it, Lisa!"

"And now here you are smoking, which means you've just been hit with some heavy news! There used to be a time when we told each other everything."

"We were children back then….things were a lot easier...a whole lot more simple."

"It can be simple now."

Jack rolled his eyes and shook his head. "This is anything but simple."

"Let me be the judge of that."

Jack sighed and threw away his cigarette, understanding that Lisa was not going to take a no for an answer. He was going to have to tell her something. He just wasn't ready to, but really, was there a choice here? If Rose was going to come back into their lives, his Uncle and cousin were going to have know all that had happened and why.

"Just talk to me."

"Okay...fine...you want to know, I'll tell you. But it's a long story."

"My chores are done. Cora's asleep, and daddy has gone to bed as well. It's just the two of us and I have plenty of time. So you might as well get to talking."

Jack sighed, digging out another cigarette, ignoring his cousin's pointed glare. If he was going to have to talk about Rose, he was going to need them. "I guess I should start off when mom and dad died and I took off, not able to stand the pity of the town..."

One hour later, Lisa was looking at Jack with wide, shocked eyes. All color had left her face and she found herself with a new respect for her cousin. Of course, they had known that he had been on Titanic...but they hadn't known the details. "Wow...and you managed to keep it together after all of that?"

"I didn't keep anything together, may I remind you."

"You kept yourself together for Cora. That's saying a lot. She didn't even do that..."

Jack sighed, feeling the need to defend Rose. He knew now that it wasn't her fault. He had sort of been right the first time. Her leaving wasn't on purpose. "She was sick, Lisa. In fact, I should have known that she was still affected by it. She was still having nightmares...still crying out in her sleep...it was the anniversary and I should have called off...I should have insisted on being there with her that day. I don't know why I didn't..."

"Maybe because you needed time away from her to take care of yourself. You're not a mountain Jack. You needed to get your own head together as well."

"Well...she's back now and according to Molly….she needs my help in getting her memory back. Of me and of Cora...the thing is...I'm not sure that I want to. There was once a time that I'd do anything for her...anything...but now...it hurts so much..."

"Then don't. You don't owe her anything Jack. She hurt you..."

"Again, she was sick. It's not like she did it on purpose. I know that...in my head..."

"But your broken heart is different."

"Yeah. Besides, I don't want to turn my back on her...not really. When it comes down to it, I'd still do anything for her, after all that's happened...and I think that's what scares me."

."So what are you going to do?" In Lisa's opinion, if it was up to her, Rose would have to search for help elsewhere. Lucky for Rose, Jack wasn't as hard as she was.

Jack sighed and shrugged. "I don't know. Cora deserves to have her mother in her life and if I can make that happen..."

"But what do you deserve, Jack?"

Jack sighed and looked at his cousin with sad blue eyes that looked older than what they actually were. At that moment, Lisa witness the real sadness that Jack always hid behind a bright smile. "Maybe I am getting what I deserve."

Lisa blinked in shock. He hadn't been expecting that answer. Jack had always seemed so bright and happy most of the time. His happiest moments being with Cora. "Don't say that."

"Lisa, let's face it. I should have been home when that fire started. I should have been here when mom and dad died. As for Titanic...Fabrizio didn't even want to go on that ship. It was me and my luck at poker. I was insisting on boarding Titanic, not Fabrizio, who only wanted to see America and his momma again. But look who survived...again. But I had Rose, so I thought there was a purpose to survive. I lived for her...and then Cora...but then I lost her and to find that I couldn't even take care of her after all...yeah. I think I am getting what I deserve at long last."

"Jack, that's not true!"

"Of course it is. I had gotten my best friend killed. I ignored the signs that the woman I love was drowning in her own grief. Finally, karma has caught up with me."

Lisa looked at her cousin as if he had grown another head. Was he serious? Did he really blame himself for his friend's death and his wife's breakdown and did he even admit to still loving her after what she had done?! "You cannot be serious."

"I pretty much am. And this conversation is over, I've pretty much have said too much here and I have a lot to think about before calling Molly," Jack got to his feet after putting out his cigarette.

"None of it was your fault. Everything that had happened...it was just fate. It has nothing to do with what you do and don't deserve."

"If you say so," Jack sighed before turning around walking back into the house.

Lisa watched him go with a heavy heart. It hurt to see him like this. He was a kind spirit and deserved to be happy and cared for. She hoped that this Rose didn't have plans to get back into his life. She was too flighty in Lisa's opinion. She was Cora's mother, she had no say in that, but she'll be damned she let Jack be hurt again.