I'm baaack ~

This one is shorter than usual...because I've got another coming later this week ;o

It was just a good place to break it up. Enjoy!

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"I told you it wouldn't work."

"Are you just going to stand there and mumble at me, or will you actually lend a hand?"

Nihlus stretched out his mandibles in a rude, open-mouthed yawn. If he never heard her screeching voice again, it would be too soon. But he knew it would be just his luck to die this way. For one, he hated the cold, and this room was a frozen ice bucket inside an ice bucket station, on an ice bucket planet. Secondly, he hated when Jane was angry, and to say that she was extremely angry in this instance would have been a severe understatement. He couldn't really remember exactly what events occurred to get him in this situation with her, but that hardly mattered at this point. It could have been the few dozen charges he laid out in strips to ambush oncoming Rachni. Or, it could have been that Jane didn't see the charge switches, accidentally dropped her gun, tripped on said gun, and kicked a charge. That kick sent it flying with the rest of the charges trailing behind into a column of ice that fell immediately after the charge blew, and effectively buried him and Shepard in a room of rubble and ice. But, of course, who could say whose fault it was?

He understood that Jane was angry. But anger wouldn't get them out of this large crevice in the floor. And anger most certainly wouldn't magically move the ceiling of ice who-knows-how-thick out of their way for them to climb out. However, despite his knowledge of the logic behind her emotional distress, he found himself following suit. Neither of them could help it, and with every sarcastic remark out of Jane's mouth, Nihlus couldn't stop the rude and snarky retorts from his end. Maybe they were hungry. Or maybe they had seen too much of each other. Yeah, that was it. Nihlus swiftly turned around on his haunches and squatted with his back facing Jane.

He practically felt the huff from her mouth when he heard her feet shuffling behind him.

"That ice is pretty nice to look at." He rolled his eyes freely in the comfort of 'about-face'. Mental note, don't face people more often. The freedom to mock them silently as you please is too good to pass up.

"What if they die?" And there it was; the soft and quiet truth, blaring loud in his ears. She sounded tired when she said it, and the sentence wafted around him in an echo off the icy walls. Light as it may have been to hear, the meaning of it held enough weight to sober him up a bit; remind him of his position. They were two spectres out of commission. Comms were down in this 'fun house' of a station, and the only means they might have had of getting through the rubble and ice blocking them in was blown to bits by a certain someone. Nihlus could think of at least a few situations where he might be inclined to feel comfortable to be trapped in a cavern in the ground; all of them consistent when it came to his crew. This was not one of those times.

He turned to face her, whether out of a deep-seeded want to comfort her, or just a simple curiosity to see a sad expression on the face of someone he was mad at. It was a bittersweet victory. She looked dejected and defeated, both of which rarely showed on her features. Nihlus was at a loss. His anger still threatened to flare up in the recesses of his mind should any other annoyance take place, but it was being quickly replaced with empathy. Perhaps he had laid the sarcasm and neutrality on too thick these past few days.

He couldn't help it, though. She told him she didn't want him. She made it clear that nothing could ever sprout between them as long as Saren lived and threatened lives. He heard her, but never quite took the time to truly think about it. Why had he been so upset afterwards? To the point that he couldn't even bring himself to look at her in a casual setting. They only really spoke during missions, and he had done his best to stay out of the Cargo Hold, taking to polishing his armor and guns in his own quarters; alone. He acknowledged that it had felt weird not being able to look up from his handiwork to see her finger flex a few times before shooting her target. There had always been something relaxing about hearing her steady breathing followed by a gunshot. Though it might have been background noise, to Nihlus it was company. He had come to care for her, and not just because of that rogue kiss.

She was pacing in their frozen chamber now, mumbling to herself and typing into her omnitool. His eyes followed her movements back and forth while his mind retraced the moments of their shared lip-lock. How could she forget that? How could she do that to him, then tell him it shouldn't have happened? Without those exact words, she prevented it from happening again. If it were only that simple though. As Nihlus sank to the floor with his back against the wall, he became more and more confused at the woman before him as he thought about why he was mad. Because so far, he had figured out that he was upset at her for a particular reason that currently hid itself from him. He had brushed it off and credited his ire to her rejection. This moment, in their icy prison, was the first time Nihlus had actually tried to figure out why his stomach sank when Jane looked at him, and why he couldn't bring himself to ever lock eyes with her.

He looked at her form, worried and cold. Her helmet was off, and Jane brought up a hand to scratch her scalp lightly in thought. He liked when she did that. He liked the way she shifted her weight when standing and pondering something. He liked how her hips swayed just enough to catch his eye when she walked. And in the small bit of privacy that he had with Jane facing away from him, he realized. He could never get tired of those things.

He might save a hard, uncaring look for when they lock eyes, but why did they ever lock eyes in the first place? Because he was always looking at her. Every chance he got, she was in his view. He didn't just like those small details about her, he loved them. And when she told him things couldn't continue in the path they were going, Nihlus's heart broke because he knew exactly where they were going. And he was okay with that. But she wasn't, and that hurt him. The universe seemed to be giving him every sign that he was captivated by her, but he was forced to ignore it. That was why he was becoming so cranky.

Damn. He thought in defeat. He almost wished he hadn't sat and figured out the source of his foul mood.

…~^~…

"Mother."

Liara stood, tall and unwavering before the wicked creature that was once her mother. The woman wore a headdress that Liara had never seen before, and revealed much of her skin in a way that was quite different and unbecoming of the Matriarch. It wasn't the same woman she used to know, and when the Matriarch spoke, it wasn't the same tone that Liara knew.

"So nice to see you, Liara. Have you worked at bettering yourself in these years that I've been gone? I should like to see your skills." Benezia biotically lifted an assortment of crates and boxes from around the room and flung them at her daughter. Liara hastily drew up a shield, bouncing the onslaught away from her now crouched form.

She frowned at the matriarch. "I did not come to fight you. I know these Rachni from my studies; I demand an explanation, mother."

The biotic glow from Benezia's skin faded, but held in her eyes. Walking to the large glass dome, she entered a few commands before replying. "My dear Liara. There is so much you do not know of this universe. You see me, among the deceased creatures of old, and accuse me of treachery. How can you make such an accusation against your own mother, when you do not know why I have done this? Is it so wrong to seek knowledge from an ancient race?"

"You raised them and sent them upon helpless innocents! They have devoured your scientists and destroyed the soldiers. What knowledge could you possibly gain from such blind hunger!?" Liara balled her fists and followed after her mother onto the platform. From her new vantage point, she saw what the glass dome housed; The Queen. Upon spotting the shock on her face, Benezia laughed.

"Don't be so surprised now. True knowledge comes from sentience, and I have found the Rachni's source. These benevolent beings of old will be able to give me that which I seek." She punctuated by hitting a final button, causing air and pressure valves to release all around them. A raging siren began sounding off as Liara fought to raise her voice loud enough.

"You must not set the Queen free!" She yelled as tendrils of biotic energy extended from her hands and whipped every object they could grab at Benezia.

The Matriarch held open both palms and a blinding shockwave bounded from her core, knocking Liara onto her back, and shorting out the electrical connections to the facility. She approached her injured daughter, with the Rachni Queen stepping and clicking beneath the platform.

"Why is your Shepard not with you?"

Liara weakly smiled as she lay clutching her broken arm. "Honestly, I hadn't expected to run into you. I came to find a way for Shepard to get out of a chamber she's stuck in." She watched warily as Benezia stood in thought. Her eyes glowed, and the Rachni queen responded with a shrill screech. The giant being's antennae reached through open doors and Liara's breathing quickened nervously when she saw the Rachni release thousands upon thousands of spores into the hallways.

As if reading her daughter's mind, Benezia answered. "She will find her and bring her to us. We will wait."

…~^~…

Jane noticed Nihlus sitting behind her, and she sighed. Communications were down and her frantic tries to get a hold of anyone above them were for naught. He seemed to have the right idea, so she sat with her back against the opposite ice wall, facing him. It was cramped, and their knees were only a few centimeters away from touching. Jane opted to ignore it, as it appeared Nihlus was doing the same. At first she tried to avoid looking at his face. The past few days were awkward whenever they caught eyes with each other, so it would be amplified in such close quarters. She looked up to study the walls, moving from one side to the other, trying to find a crack somewhere. But she eventually ran out of wall to look at, and stole the tiniest glance at him.

He was staring off into space, oblivious of her eyes now boring into his own.

"Nihlus…?"

He hummed softly at her, blinking a few times before turning his irises to her. "You okay?" he asked before she even had the opportunity to inquire of him the same.

She rubbed at her knees with both hands. "I was just going to ask you that. But…I'm fine. Just worried about all of them up there."

She watched him nod slowly and lean forward with his chin on his hands. It made him seem much closer than before, and Jane felt her heart flutter nervously. She steeled herself and continued, despite the distraction. "I also want to apologize…I feel like I've needed to do that a lot lately. But you've been very patient through all of this, and I really appreciate it." Nihlus suddenly stood and leaned his body against the wall behind him. It felt to Jane like he wanted to get as far away from her as possible, which wasn't very far, given their current location. It made her heart ache, but she couldn't blame him. She truly had wronged him by essentially leading on a man that seemed to be okay with her ridiculous life.

She inwardly winced as the memory of Nihlus's hurt replayed in her mind. He had made her realize how deep a problem she had caused when saying that she couldn't just kiss him and act like nothing happened. It was true, but it seemed like he felt rejected for the wrong reasons. Did he truly think she could forget what she did? She missed him, and so she showed it in the only way her body knew how at that time. Yes, it was rash, and yes, she did it without thinking at all of the consequences. But she couldn't forget it after that, and it was the very basis for her ending their path. Before then, she had felt he was someone she could rely on. But thinking on his memory after his passing stirred something in her that she found hard to explain. It couldn't be put to words, but it was the same feeling that made her bring her lips to his in the first place. If she fell any more into love with that Spectre, she wouldn't be able to bear the thought of losing him again. The universe didn't need a love-sick hero, it needed a selfless one. And if Jane continued with her feelings towards the turian, she would put him before all else. Perhaps this was her second chance to truly explain herself. Easier said than done…

"Nihlus, we should talk about some things."

...~^~...

Nihlus took care to sigh exasperatedly mentally and not audibly. He didn't really want to have this talk with her, because he knew what it was going to be about. She would tell him that he's been acting strange, and he would spill his guts about how he thinks he has deep feelings for her, and she would say it can't be possible. Rejection, again. This was not how Nihlus imagined the experience to be with a new Spectre. He always readied himself to be training a new one in at some point, but the thought was always accompanied with a professional mindset. This was…dramatic. Which was part of the reason why he scrambled away from her. Here was another instance where she demanded his attention, but he could barely give it because of everything swirling in his brain. Hopefully humans were as attuned to body language as turians were.

He watched with mild horror as her mouth opened and tumbled out so many words that he didn't want to hear. Nihlus wanted to close his eyes and cover his ears. It was so small a space, and they just weren't getting along, couldn't she see that? It was all so recognizable as another rejection in the works.

"…I think you misunderstood why I didn't want things to continue between us." Yes, I definitely did, Shepard. Please, do go on.

"At first, I didn't feel that way about you. You know, the time loops and all…" He stifled a yawn as she went on a tangent about the different times she watched him die again. That caught his attention more, as once again, she told him the story with such conviction. He thought she might cry, but soon it was over, and he found himself letting loose a breath he had unknowingly held as she sighed.

"But I can't stop thinking about that kiss." You and me both. Nihlus thought, but paused at her words. She still thought about it? Why?

"I see you…and I kick myself every time I think of how I told you 'no'. I see your blank face when you look at me, and want to cry because it's so different than how you used to. And if we're going to die in here, I need to tell you that you're wrong."

What was he wrong about? Nihlus felt as if he were leaning forward a bit more in anticipation. He corrected his posture and waited patiently. He was a Spectre, and he wasn't supposed to care about these small details.

"If we continued the way we were…I would never be able to let you go. I would fall in too deep, with no escape, and that's dangerous. I have this…connection with you. This feeling like you're so familiar, and that makes it incredibly easy for me to forget everything else. God, I sound like an emotional wreck. It's not because I don't feel anything for you. It's quite the opposite, Nihlus."

The silence that followed felt like it stretched across eternity. Nihlus vaguely registered Jane looking at him expectantly. He was supposed to say something, but he couldn't. His lungs felt like the wind was just knocked out of them, and his stomach churned nervously. At her words, Nihlus once again felt that inexplicable pull towards her. His palms itched to reach out and feel her, and his chest ached to have the pressure of her body against it.

But an explosion in the distance interrupted them. He blinked and remembered her reasoning. He understood her, and while he still didn't like it, he acquiesced to her judgement. But he was torn in that moment; should he tell her she isn't alone, or should he continue a nonchalant façade?

Before he could decide, the floor underneath them cracked and burst apart, dropping the pair into a dark oblivion beneath.

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