Jack and Rose walked together in silence. Neither of them knew what to say to one another, not after the night before, where they had spent most of the evening in each other's arms kissing. For his part, Jack was mulling over what his Uncle had advised. Was his Uncle right? Was it really impossible to get over Rose? Should he really just ignore the issue of trust and just take Rose back fully as his wife? His heart was screaming that that was exactly what he should do! But his head...that was something else. Maybe he just shouldn't think about it anymore. Thinking seemed to make things a lot more complicated than they had to be.
"I am sorry that my mother is such a bother. Really, most people would just make due wtih coffee," Rose sighed, deciding to take the initiative. Jack had said that he needed to talk with her, but his silence was making her nervous, so she would just begin. Perhaps breaking the ice would help.
"It's not a bother. We probably should have gotten some tea stocked long before now. I'm surprised that Lisa hadn't brought any," Jack shrugged.
"Jack...about last night...I'm sorry if I was too pushy or was trying to push you into something that you're not ready for. It's just...sometimes I remember how it was and...I want it back so badly..."
"I do too...which is why...I asked you to take this walk with me," Jack confessed, keeping his eyes on the ground as they slowly walked along. He couldn't believe how awkward he felt at that moment. He had never felt like this with anyone...not even with Rose on Titanic...well except for that one time...when he was about to draw her.
"You do?" Rose blinked, surprised by this admission. Jack had been keeping a space between them and had seemed somewhat reluctant to return to what they had been. Last night and the picnic...he seemed more open, but still, this admission was unexpected. She had expected him to want to take things slow for a while.
"Yes, I do. Before you came down, my Uncle made me realize something. I had never gotten over you in these past two years because...well...the men in my family...they tend to love really deeply. It was that way for my grandparents, my parents...even my Uncle. This interest in your mother has come after over twenty years of grieving over Lisa's mother. When we love, it's for a good long time if not forever and I loved you Rose. God, I loved you more than anything and I still do, obviously. That's why I could never move on. That's why I find myself opening up to you all over again, despite my reservations. I love you now, just as I loved you then...despite the pain and heartache."
"But you don't trust me," Rose sighed, knowing that the trust issue was still between them and was probably what was going to keep them apart for some time. She couldn't blame him though. She was the one that had left, even though it hadn't been her fault. He just couldn't trust that it wouldn't happen again, heck, she didn't even trust that it wouldn't. She still didn't even understand it. Why was it so easy to just forget about the two people that she had loved the most?
"I won't lie to you, Rose. I'd never lie to you. I don't know. I just know that I love you. Most days, you and Cora are all I've been able to think about. I don't know if I trust that you won't relapse and take off again. I don't know if I trust that you'll be able to handle the memories this time around and stay in your right mind. I just know that I love you and...that's enough for me. I'll never be complete without you and I want to be complete, Rose. I want a complete family, not only for myself...but for Cora too and the only way that will happen is by listening to my heart instead of my head. I love you, Rose...I want to be with you like we were before you left. The love had never left."
Rose didn't know what to say. This was what she had been waiting for since the feelings for this man had begun to surface. She had wanted this moment for so long and now that it was here...she was afraid to trust it. "Jack, are you sure? I mean...I want to be your wife so badly...I don't think I'd be able to stand it if you weren't sure...if this was only out of some sense of obligation or pity..."
Jack gently cupped her face with steady hands and looked directly into her eyes. His voice was steady and firm, confident in his decision. "This is not pity or obligation, Rosebud. This is me doing what I should have done the moment you came back to me. I want you back as my wife, Rose. I want you to be the last person I see when I go to sleep and the first person I see when I wake up. I want to have more children with you. I want...I want to erase the past two years and go on as if they had never happened. I want you back, Rose. Not only as my friend, but as my wife. That is if that's what you want..."
Rose's heart was beating a thousand miles per minute as his words sunk in. He wanted her back, fully as his wife. Not next year, not next week, not some time in the future, but now! This was more than she had even hoped to dream of!
"Of course it's what I want! I mean...if it's what you want...I don't want to push you into anything..."
"You're not. Trust me, you're not. This is all me. This is my decision. I just can't take it slow like I had thought I should...like I probably should. I want to be happy again and I can't be, not without you. I can't live without you, Rose..."
"Jack...," His name came out as a sob as he wrapped his arms around her in an warm embrace. She wrapped her arms around his waist and held on tight as she buried her face against his chest and just breathed him in. "I love you so much..."
"But?" Jack sensed the hesitation in her voice. He wasn't surprised by it, though. He doubted that anything could surprise him right now.
"I'm scared."
"Of me?" he frowned
"Of me. What if my brain breaks again? I don't want to hurt you again and I definitely don't want to disappear for another two years again. How do we know it won't happen again?"
Jack sighed as she spoke his own fears. The truth was, they didn't know that it wouldn't happen again. But things were different now in so many ways. They weren't alone here, like they had been in California. His family, as well as Rose's mother was here too.
"It won't be so easy for you to wander off this time. In California, it was just the three of us. But here, we have my Uncle and Lisa and your mother. Not to mention, Chippewa Falls is a small town. People know me here and they'll get to know you. You won't even make it a step out of town without someone stopping you and giving me a call," Jack chuckled, kissing the top of her head, wanting to soothe away the fear that they both had somehow.
"I just don't trust myself, I guess. It doesn't help that I still don't remember all that happened...and I'm kind of afraid to remember."
"I know it's scary. I wish I could tell you that there's nothing to be afraid of. That the memories weren't real, or weren't as terrifying...but I can't. But I can tell you that it's over now. You survived, we both did. You just keep that in mind as you remember, alright? Besides, not all of it was bad. There was a lot of good too."
Rose smiled, remembering the memory/dream that had set off last night's kissing session. "I believe you. So...what does this mean again?"
"It means that your mother now has her own room. I want you to move into mine tonight, for good. No more waiting..."
"And if I want to by chance...kiss you? Do I still need to give a warning?"
Jack just laughed and shook his head. "No. No warnings. You can kiss me when ever you like."
"Good. Because I want to kiss you now..."
Jack licked his lips and simply nodded in agreement before meeting her lips in a deep passionate kiss. A kiss that held a promise for the future.
(A/N: I believe that there is only one chapter left for this story. It just feels right to end it here. I do plan to write another version of this story though. One where things won't be so easy for Rose. I want to thank everyone for their feedback and for their patience as they waited for updates! Thank you for sticking with this story, I really appreciate it:))