a little bit of the sun cracked yesterday,
shot down to the earth and landed in my backyard.
they told me it was dangerous,
told me it was the most dangerous thing in the world.
so i picked it up with oven mittens and goggles over my eyes,
threw it in a bag as the sparks tossed themselves everywhere.
i let it out in the water, where it's cold, where it's quiet,
where a little bit of sun could learn a thing or two,
and the ocean dried up in seconds.

Audrey Simmons (17)

District Three

Audrey sat down on the rock on the edge of the park, the one that had been molded by nature into something similar to a seat. It was so early in the morning, half the district probably wasn't even up to get ready for the reaping yet, but zey had gotten up to have peace and quiet before the event.

Reaping mornings in the Gelin foster house involved Mrs. Gelin doing a lot of yelling to round up the six kids in her household, while Mr. Gelin rapidly cooked a breakfast that would barely get them through to lunch. Mrs. Gelin spent the entire time breakfast cooked pulling out reaping outfits, which were picked the night before, and placing them passive aggressively on the bed as she waited for everyone to get dressed.

Audrey only shared a room with Ivan, which was better than the boys' room in the morning. Two of the triplets, Danny and Decker, shared a room with the youngest member of the household, six-year-old Harris. The third member of the triplets, Daisy, was roomed with Ida, and they were never done on time by virtue of the fact that arguing over who got the bathroom first took up more time than getting dressed and ready in the bathroom did. Danny, Decker, and Harris spent the mornings groaning about how early it was, and the fact that it was dumb that they had to get so dressed up when they weren't going to be reaped anyway.

Ivan was always quiet, like Audrey, but zey still wanted to avoid the chaos.

The bees buzzing around in a nearby tree turned zeir attention away from the mess that zey were avoiding. Zey had always loved bees, and when zey were younger, zey thought zey wanted to grow up to be a beekeeper, making honey and living a life away from all people. So far away that zey would have no neighbors, except maybe a very kind neighbor that zey actually enjoyed.

There was no one else milling around out here like there normally were on nice mornings. Audrey liked to come here because it felt better than isolating zemself, but the rock was back far enough that people didn't generally come up to chat, and zey could just watch the bees buzz around, see the birds in the trees, see the people coming through with their conversations. It was like watching life through a television screen, except with the added bonus of the breeze and the rock underneath zem.

Zey wanted to walk around for a while, go down to the creek, but zey knew if zey weren't back to go to the reaping with the Gelins, everyone would worry. Mr. and Mrs. Gelin had enough to worry about between the rest of the kids to bother dealing with where their soon-to-age-out quiet foster kid was. Audrey did zeir best to never be one they had to concern themselves with.

Eventually, zey decided to walk down the path that headed back in the direction of the house, wanting to be moving along instead of just sitting there. Reaping mornings were the worst mornings, because zey could never just be relaxed or bored. There was anxiety in every step, in every little bit of the earth under zeir feet, and it soaked through zeir shoes and filled zeir body up with it.

A mile or so away from the Gelins house was the old orphanage that Audrey used to live in before being sent to foster care, and zey always were glad that at least zey weren't there on reaping mornings anymore, when the oldest children were often unofficially in charge of calming sobbing twelve- and thirteen-year-olds who were new to the business of the reaping.

If the trees weren't in the way, zey wondered if zey would be able to see it from there—a big, depressingly plain building with a depressingly plain group of people who all trudged through after whatever it was that sent them into an orphanage. It was a sob story factory, that place was, and it had churned Audrey right out.

Eventually, walking down the path just brought zem back to the Gelins. Zey sat on the porch and listened in the house, where zey could hear Mrs. Gelin's voice carrying through the door.

"Danny! Danny, you get back here right now," she cried, and the frantic face she must have been making was clear through her voice. Audrey knew her well enough to know what her Danny face was like, and it was always just an inch shy of outright panic.

Mr. Gelin wasn't a yeller, so when Audrey suddenly heard his voice boom: "Daniel Ovsi, you get into the kitchen right now!" zey flinched despite zemself.

The front door opened and zey turned zeir head back to see Ivan walking out of the house. He seemed surprised to run into zem, but without a word he just sat down on the front step with zem, looking out at the nature that surrounded them. It was beautiful out here—nothing like further in, where factories to produce the technology of Three made everything seem made of metal, even the sun and the clouds.

"Do you wish we weren't around?" Audrey asked, looking over at him. The question had run through zeir mind before, but it seemed rude to ask. Ivan and Harris were the only Gelin children of the house, Harris biologically and Ivan through adoption when he was eight. Now, at eighteen, it never seemed like he was really comfortable in his own house, the house that the rest of them were just passing through.

Ivan looked down at the ground, considering that for a moment. That was the thing about him: he didn't talk much, and when he did, it seemed like every word was calculated as meticulously as a math problem. Every piece needed consideration, to get across what he really meant to say.

"I don't mind," he said finally. "Especially you. You're like a sibling."

The triplets and Ida were likely to be adopted some time or another. Despite their energy and their tendency towards mischief, all of them were sweet and adoptable kids. The Gelins had a reputation for taking good care of those who did come through their house, and often finding homes for the children as well. So Audrey imagined Ivan never got attached to them any more than zey did, but the two of them had never really talked about it before, despite being there the longest.

Zey fidgeted with zeir pant leg over the prosthetic, tugging the material down over the exposed area of not-skin. Ivan glanced over, seeing zem do this. It almost seemed like a question was brewing, so zey stood up, going inside the house without looking back.

In the beginning, Mrs. Gelin had had a million questions about zeir prosthetic—how zey got it, what it was like receiving Capitol care for it, how it felt, if it was easy to walk in it. And it wasn't like Audrey had never heard those things before. Zey were still somewhat new to it when zey first moved in, though, and weren't worn down from the repetition of it all. Zey still were willing to give out short answers about it. Now, zey just wanted it to stop being the thing people noticed about zem if it was ever showing.

Talking too much about it made zem think about everything leading up to the accident, anyway. Zeir parents were gone long before that, but zey had been reckless, thoughtless. When zey woke up in a bright white room with a fuzzy head and doctors looking down over zem in surprise, zey had realized zey could no longer drift through life. Especially not literally, when zey had dazedly walked into the street.

Inside the house, Danny was standing with his head hanging low in the kitchen, next to where Mr. Gelin was standing with his eyes in the living room. Daisy and Decker were in there, lounging on the couch with their reaping clothes on and their hands up playing one their games that involved hitting each other's fingers.

Mrs. Gelin walked into the room with Harris, who looked, admittedly, adorable in his fancy clothes. They were new, since he was six and always growing out of his clothes, although they were used beforehand. But he looked like he belonged in little-kid business school, or a little-kid government.

"Is everyone ready to go?" Mrs. Gelin asked, looking around and counting heads. She pointed at the door, so Audrey assumed she knew that Ivan was out there. "Oh, hell, where's Ida?"

Danny turned and pointed at Mrs. Gelin. "She said hell," he said in indignation to Mr. Gelin. Audrey assumed he must have slipped and said something word being reprimanded. He sometimes just ran away when he knew he was in trouble. The pieces of the yelling puzzle zey heard from outside were locking in now.

"And you just said it again," Mr. Gelin reminded him.

Mrs. Gelin marched off to Ida and Daisy's room to see where she was, and Mr. Gelin began to herd the rest of the group outside. Getting them to walk beyond the park to the train would be a task on its own, so actually getting them out of the house without letting all the kids split off at once was something that required a head start, even if Ida wasn't there for the beginning of the journey.

"Audrey, can you hold Harry's hand?" Mr. Gelin asked, looking at zem with desperation in his tired eyes.

Zey nodded and smiled down at little Harris, who was short and small for his age. He started swinging their arms the moment their hands locked together, and zey felt a little burst of love for this guy. The rest of them she cared about, but in a much more distant way. Harris was going to be a really good kid and a really good person one day. Right now he was a very loud kid and a very loud person sometimes, but that was okay.

Ivan wasn't sitting on the porch outside. Audrey looked around, stepping down into the yard with Harris's hand still firmly in zeirs, but as much as zey swiveled zeir head around, he just wasn't in the front yard anymore. Zey looked up at Mr. Gelin to see if he had noticed yet, but he was pointing to Danny, Decker, and Daisy with a stern look on his face, telling them to behave like eleven-year-olds on the way to the reaping.

"Show some respect for Audrey and Ivan," he said, and that seemed to snap them into a little bit more obedience.

Nothing like reminding the kids of the impending danger of a death match to get them to behave.

"Mr. Gelin," zey said, and zey saw he was about to tell zem to call him "Mike" like he always did, so zey rushed through the rest of what they were going to say before he got the chance. "I think Ivan must've gone around back. He was out here just a second ago."

Mr. Gelin paused for a moment of taking inventory. The names of all the kids seemed to run through his head, eyes moving from one to the next, until he found that zeir observation was correct. Ivan was certainly not with them.

"Okay, I'll check around back. You three, wait for Deenah and Ida."

Audrey watched the triplets, but thankfully they all just started playing a game together that involved standing in place. Still, with Harris's hand firmly in zeirs, they didn't get distracted from keeping these four in sight. Zey just wanted to get to the square before they were late, and as things were going, they were headed on that trajectory. That didn't spell anything but trouble for zem and Ivan especially.

Mrs. Gelin came out with Ida and locked the door behind her, beginning to look at all the kids in the yard. Her eyes narrowed in confusion when she saw that there was no husband and no Ivan there, and she looked first to Audrey for an explanation.

"I think Ivan went around back," zey said. "Mr.— Uh, Mike went back to check."

Mr. Gelin was just coming back around the other side of the house, but Ivan was still nowhere to be found. "He's not back there," he said, looking back behind Audrey toward the creek. There was nowhere back there to hide unless you went all the way back to the woods in the direction of the orphanage, and beyond the Gelins' house was a path to the park and a lot of empty fields. So nowhere really for Ivan to have gone unless he was heading in the opposite direction of the town square.

"Where is he then?" Mrs. Gelin asked, already starting to head toward the creek to see if he was anywhere back there. The rest of them stayed back and watched her as she jogged over.

Audrey was starting to wonder exactly what happened. This wasn't normal, especially for Ivan. He always followed the rules, always listened to his parents, always was happy to do what he needed to do when he was told. He wasn't unhappy or rebellious, nor was he airheaded enough to think it was a good idea to try heading to the square without them.

"Maybe he's already gone ahead," Decker suggested, looking up at Mr. Gelin like he had come up with something genius.

Daisy nodded. "We should probably just go ahead and we'll find him."

Mr. Gelin let out a breath and nodded to them in his way that acknowledged what they were saying without agreeing with it at all. Both he and his wife had gotten good at that sort of thing with this group. "We can't do that, kiddos," he told them. "If we don't make sure he shows up, he'll get in a lot of trouble."

Harris tugged on Audrey's hand and zey realized zey were still keeping track of the little guy. Zey looked down at him with a half-hearted smile, knowing that all of this would be over his head and boring for him to keep track of, but he would still understand that everyone was getting upset and Ivan was missing when he wasn't supposed to be. "Did Ivan go to the park?" he asked, bright green eyes curious, wondering if maybe he had contributed to fixing everyone's problem.

"I don't know," zey told him. Zey didn't know quite how to take care of him, other than to hold his hand and keep an eye out. Zey felt like this would be the moment where zey patted his head or ruffled his hair, but none of that seemed natural to zem, especially not when zey were pretty sure that zeir foster brother had potentially run away from the reaping.

Mr. and Mrs. Gelin started to get frantic, and Mr. Gelin checked his watch, shaking his head. He turned to Audrey and said, "We've got to keep looking for him. You get the kids to the square and find Mr. Hill, Audrey."

Zey nodded, watching him for a moment as he turned away from zem and began to walk toward the park with his hands on the back of his head. Both of them looked like they were about to collapse from the stress and exhaustion. Zey wished zey could help, but if zey didn't head toward the square, zey wouldn't be in time for registration. And there wasn't much zey could do that they couldn't already.

"Okay," zey said, stepping over to the triplets and Indira with Harris's hand still clasped tightly in zeirs. "Let's get to the bus stop."

Zey started herding the group of kids toward the stop, but it wasn't as hard as it normally would be. All of them seemed much more toned down now that Ivan was missing, but Audrey would much rather trade their compliance for his presence.

At the square, Audrey found Mr. Hill where he always was, still standing at the door of his shop, which was close enough to the square that the Peacekeepers didn't make him move for the reaping. "Mr. and Mrs. Gelin need you to watch them," zey said apologetically. "I think they should be here soon."

"What's holding them up?" he asked, his heavy brow creased and his head cocking to the side. He pulled his hat off, holding it down by his side and running a hand through his thinning hair.

"Uh…" Audrey didn't want to have to explain the situation. Zey hated this kind of shit, pretending to know people, but sometimes it just happened when they realized zey were the Gelins' foster child. Everyone loved that couple around town. "Ivan's missing."

Mr. Hill was shocked enough that he leaned forward, nearly stepping out of his shop for the reaping. But he reined himself in and shook his head. "Poor kid," he said, putting his hat back atop his head. "Well, you better go."

Zey nodded and turned around, going to the back of the registration lines. Other than a few other stragglers, zey were one of the last ones there to get sectioned off for the reaping. There was no way zey would miss Ivan coming up to the line behind zem, but zey kept checking anyway, continuously turning all around to see if maybe the Gelins would pop up and Ivan would have some reasonable explanation for what had happened.

If they didn't soon, the Peacekeepers would come to their house afterward. Ask questions about where Ivan was. And they would find him. They always found the runaways.

Zey knew that there was nothing zey could've done, no way zey could know that he was about to try to escape his very last reaping, but zey wished there were some sort of signs zey could've seen. That there was anything zey could've done to keep him there, where things were best for his entire family. It was just selfish to skip out on this and let the repercussions hurt his parents.

But even still, zey couldn't fully blame him.

Zey stood among all the other kids as the Treaty of Treason was read out to the square, the voice faltering occasionally. The microphone kept cutting out throughout, and it sounded a little bit like how Audrey was feeling.

Ivan wouldn't be in zeir section, but it would be obvious if he showed up late. No matter how hard zey hoped, he didn't come running through the aisle to get in place.

Imelda Detann took the place after the mayor and still there was no sign of him.

She was entirely bald, but wrapped around her head was a crown lit up like fairy lights, and her entire outfit periodically turned on and off with its lights, occasionally flashing different colors too. It was one of the flashier outfits she brought to District Three.

"It's a pleasure to be here today," she said, her voice controlled in a way most escorts weren't. She spoke like she hated her job, which may well have been true in a district with only one winner in the last twenty-five years. But it was also probably the reason why she was stuck here. "With the Quarter Quell coming around this year, I'm very excited to be able to bring a new set of tributes from District Three into the Capitol. And what an interesting twist this year, isn't it?"

She paused like there was going to be some sort of excitement, but no one really got into the different ways the Gamemakers found to torture tributes, of course. She was met with nervous silence, perhaps the most nervous of all coming from Audrey. Zey wished zey could just stop thinking about it, knowing there was nothing zey could do to bring him there, but it was almost certainly too late now. None of them were at the reaping, and zey dreaded to think what the Peacekeepers were going to think of the Gelins' story of looking for their reaping-skipping son.

"All right, why don't we get started," Imelda said, her voice not even lifting up at the end with a question. Her monotony was starting to stress Audrey out even more. Zey needed to get away from all of these people crowding around. Zey needed this fucking reaping to get over with. Imelda's hand was submerged in the names of the girls' bowl when Audrey first began to feel a little like zey were going to start panicking about this. "Audrey Simmons!"

What.

Zey stood there for a moment, but zeir name meant zey had to go to the stage. Zey didn't want to give the Peacekeepers any opportunity to yank zem up there, so slowly zey walked down the brick pathway to the stage. Zeir pant leg rode up just a fractional amount as zey climbed the steps, and zey were sure zeir prosthetic showed. Zey hoped it wasn't enough for the Capitol to hone in on.

"Congratulations, my dear," Imelda said, reaching a hand out to shake. Zey swallowed, looking at the pale white skin with pink swirls and green dots. Her hands looked like birthday cake patterns almost. Zey remembered the Capitolites who had helped zem years ago, how one of the doctor's hands had ornate tattoos. Zey finally reached out and shook it, and then followed her cue when she turned back to the crowd, looking out at the thousands in the square. There were too many faces to find the Gelins, and if they had made it in time, they would be all the way in the back.

No one would come for zeir goodbyes. Zey would spend the hour wondering if Mr. Hill had decided against bringing the other foster kids, and what Ivan would think when he realized he wasn't the one who needed to worry about the reaping after all.

yee funkin haw it's 6am and i hven't slept !

i hope y'all enjoy audrey, zey're from my buddy knave & our dnd campaign jskdfjsldf

i'm gonna just keep posting at breakneck for as long as i can to get through intros bc y'all want some fuckin plot i'm sure... i want some plot that's for damn sure... i got some plotty intermissions coming up tho!

so let me know if you enjoyed & here's this chapter's question: do you fault ivan if he did run away for putting everyone in that situation? or do you sort of get it even tho we don't know much about him?