this graveyard is big enough for all your skeletons.
really.
we don't ask where they came from.
deposit your dinosaurs like a paycheck,
with a smile on your face, and a nod to the staff.
we've got plenty of you to help dig these holes.
maybe one day we'll dig yours.

Sedna Dyan (18)

District Four

yesterday

"Oh, come on," Sedna said, shaking her head as she watched the fifteen-year-old Gao swing pitifully into the log with his axe. He looked at her, desperately trying to catch his breath as he let the axe rest down on the ground. His eyes were filled with nothing but hatred, but she always took that as a good sign. "Nope, stand back up, Arkes. We're not done yet."

He sat down on the unbroken log, hands above his head and eyes now pointing up at the sky. Whatever deity he was trying to call to wouldn't help him in the Games, and they wouldn't save him from Sedna, either. She stepped over to the axe and picked it up, holding it in position to swing at the log he was sitting on, which made him scramble up out of the way at lightning speed. So he wasn't too tired to put a little more effort in when he feared for his life. She swung down at the wood and the axe lodged in, where she left it. There was no point splitting it when she was just trying to prove a point to him. Besides, axes weren't really her forte, and she didn't want to embarrass herself by overextending herself on something she didn't know all that well.

"You"—deep breath—"haven't been"—long exhale—"killed in training today."

"If you were killed in training today, how do you ever expect to win the Hunger Games?" she asked, raising her eyebrows at him. She stepped toward him and motioned toward the ground. "I want thirty. Then you're done."

Relief and desperation flashed through his eyes, cycling between the two in seconds, and then he slowly got down onto the ground, his arms underneath him, and pushed himself up.

"Get your elbows angled, Arkes," she said. She looked away, watching the waves crash up on the beach as the tide rolled in. She wanted to get back to the Academy before training concluded for the day. It was opened later than normal this year, since it was a Quell year and a year of the chosen victor, but having agreed to help Gao today before she went off to the Games, she couldn't just cut his training short for her own benefit.

After thirty long, painful pushups, Gao finally collapsed back and looked up at Sedna. She nodded to him with a smile on her face. "Good job today, Gao," she said. She held out a hand for him to pull himself up, and already he was responding to her changed demeanor. All of the people she helped seemed to hate her during their sessions, but their attitudes were entirely different when she was praising them.

"You're leaving tomorrow," he said, as if she wasn't aware that she was going to volunteer. It might be seen as trust in her abilities if it weren't for the fact that this year was a year of the chosen victor. After she nodded, he continued on, and she prepared herself for him to speak without stopping. "I can't imagine. Well, I guess I can. Since you're training me. But are you excited?"

She shrugged. "I guess I am," she said. She knew that when she returned, everything would be different for her. She would have a higher standing. More of a chance to help others. To help District Four. Her winning in and of itself would bring on more prosperity in District Four, not that it was ever hurting in the first place. But when Isaac Welsh won six years ago, she remembered how a lot of faces looked less hungry. A lot of people were a little better off for it. He had to feel good about that, and she hoped she would too.

She wasn't just doing this for her father, she reminded herself. That would make it all pointless. That was what gave her pause.

"You're going to volunteer," he said in amazement, looking forward again. The Academy wasn't far off now, which she was grateful for. Gao was a good guy, but conversations with him were a little trying. Still, even despite his reluctance to do as she said at times, he was a good Career, too. So she put up with the talking. "I am, too. One of these days."

"Not during one of the free-for-all years, are you?" she asked, looking over at him with a little bit of amusement on her face.

Gao had shown a particular dislike for those who volunteered during the free-for-all years, saying that they never knew if they were really the best. If they were really cut out for the Games. Three of Four's four victors hadn't been chosen by the Academy, though, but she never bothered to point that out. All Gao ever did was talk about how he admired Welsh, so there was no point convincing him that Josie Adner, Luis Barnes, and Talisa Longstaff were just as cut out as the beloved chosen victor was.

"No," he said, shaking his head and scrunching up his nose. "No, the free-for-all years are for the reaped, and that's how it should stay."

"And what if the reaped is young?" she asked him. This was about the only kind of conversation she enjoyed with him—ones that challenged him, made him think a little bit. Part of her thought harshly that he needed a little more exercise in that department than what she could give him with occasional debates.

"So be it, I guess," he said, shrugging. "The reaped from other districts are young. This is just how the Academy intended for it to be."

"So why don't we simply push for a move to One or Two's system?" she asked him. She hadn't brought up this point with him before. Mostly they had just hashed out the nitty-gritties of why exactly he was annoyed with those who chose to go a year or two before the Academy was ready to select their next tribute. "Volunteers every year, churning them out. It works, doesn't it? Two has more victors than we do."

"Two is the Capitol's lapdog," he said, rolling his eyes at her and brushing that point off. "One has the same number, from the same number of years. So both systems are just fine."

"But doesn't it stand to reason that we'd have more?" she asked.

He shook his head, and his eyes lit up like he was dying to say what he had on his mind in regards to that particular question, the rest of the debate be damned. "We have more time to train our chosen victors this way. Like with the Academy already making me a candidate, so they'll put more of their energy into me. And I'll win. Same with you."

It wasn't a bad point, so she shrugged as if to say she had to give that one to him. The Academy was in sight now so she patted him on the shoulder, saying goodbye, and jogged up to the building. He stayed behind at his own pace, still recovering from their final training session together as things stood the way they did. Maybe he'd have the fortune to train with a victor when she got back.

Serena was in the gymnasium of the Academy when she went looking for her. She had assumed she would be there to watch her boyfriend train and wait for Sedna. She hadn't been putting her heart into training since it was confirmed that Sedna would be the one going into the Games on their last year of eligibility, but while she was still eighteen, she trained as many of the people in her position did, if only because it was their last chance unless they became trainers. Her boyfriend was seventeen and still had the opportunity to try for next year, should he wish to go in during a free-for-all year.

"Hey!" Serena called over to her, motioning for her to come sit while Mica did some knife-throwing practice with some of the other sixteen- to seventeen-year-olds. Sedna went over to the bleachers and sat. They often held competitions like this in the Academy, which was why a lot of the training rooms had bleachers. Knife-throwing competitions and spar matches drew good crowds when they were hyped up. "How was your last session with that brat?"

Sedna laughed, shaking her head. They had done their fair share of talking about Gao's flaws, but she just wasn't in the mood for that today. She felt a little bit like she was dancing through her routine in shoes that could never quite reach the floor. "He was okay. Still hating the in-betweeners."

"Have him tell that to Talisa Longstaff," Serena said, shaking her head. Sedna didn't bring up the fact that Serena largely agreed with him until Mica decided he would try for next year.

"Have him say that to Talisa's son," Sedna added on.

The door to the training center opened and Remi Par entered the room. His eyes were on those practicing as he relieved the other trainer for his lunch break, but her heart was moving as quickly as it would if he came over to her and knelt down on one knee right away. His curly sun-bleached hair fell over his forehead, and it was too far away to see his eyes now, but she knew how sea green they were. She looked away, staring at the wooden floors as she tried to compose herself.

When she came back, this would be better. It wouldn't be an issue anymore once he wasn't her trainer.

Serena somehow didn't notice, had never noticed her crush on the man, and Sedna would keep it that way as long as she could. If anyone found out what she felt for him before she volunteered, it could have endangered her status as a candidate. Relationships between trainers and trainees were strictly forbidden, and that was one of the only things that the Academy was ever strict about. Apparently it had been a problem before the second rebellion, and the board felt that it simply got in the way of victors coming home. Having to build up a new network of victors was a serious business, even in as loose a district as District Four.

"We should go," Sedna said. "Mica's going to be busy."

Serena shrugged and stood up with Sedna. Her boyfriend looked back at them as they opened the door to leave, waving before refocusing on his task.

They started to walk back to Sedna's house. She hoped that her father wouldn't be home. He had been nothing but good to her in the week leading up to the Games, proud as ever before that he would be soon fathering a victor, but it was a little stifling. He wanted her to help, to do something important in the world, but she didn't know why that was the Games. Hearing him say over and over how she would bring more honor than ever to the already-strong Dyan name was difficult. She was proud to be training, and it was too late to stop, anyway. But everything felt just shy of right.

Her house was away from the waterfront and it wasn't nearly as beautiful in this area of their fisher town. But her father had a taste of luxury with the fishing boats he owned, and he wanted something a little more connected to the rest of the people. He liked to put on a front around others—one that having a big, fancy, visible house gave off quite well. One that didn't say his love for his daughter was conditional on her success taking his business over for him, or her success in the Hunger Games. Preferably both.

"Are you going to miss all this?" Serena asked, looking over at her. She would be moving down the coast in the district. The Victors' Village was right by a beach in the city, and she didn't intend on moving back there for her father's business when she won. She would still continue it, but it could come to the city with her.

"I guess so," she said, nodding.

She didn't know exactly what Serena had been referencing, though. There was nothing spectacular about her life here, just the routine of having been raised there. The routine of going through all of her activities as she always did, constantly vying for something a little better.

Still, she liked it in their town despite her dissatisfaction with things she couldn't fully put her finger on. She liked the quietness, the closeness. She liked that there was an Academy here and she didn't have to travel to train, although that wouldn't be a problem in the city. She liked Serena and Mica. She liked Remi.

Maybe she wouldn't stay away from there forever.

present day

The goodbyes were going to be the most excruciating hour of her life. She had made her peace with everyone she wanted to before she left, and she didn't really care who felt the need to come say goodbye to her before she left for the Games. She wanted to be in the train, heading to the Capitol. She wanted everything to begin falling into place.

It was worse when her father came in. He walked into the room after Serena left, the two of them having spoken of how weird it would be when she got back. He nodded to her, business-like, as they passed each other, and sat down in the chair across from Sedna. He leaned back, spreading out against the armrests of the chair, and looked over her. Like one final glance to see if she was really worthy, if she would really be making it back to him.

"You know I'm proud of you, don't you?" he asked her.

No, she thought, but she nodded despite this. He was the only person in the world she couldn't speak her mind to. Her stomach twisted like it was trying to tie itself into a bow whenever she even considered it. "I'll make it back, Dad."

"I know you will," he said. He had a kind smile on his face, one that didn't quite fit. His skin stretched around it and his eyes crinkled, and it seemed like it could pass as a regular smile to anyone else, but she knew better. She knew better than anyone. "You have a world to come back to here in Four, Sedna."

She nodded, looking down at her lap and keeping her lips sealed. She didn't know how to talk to him now that everything he had ever wanted was coming true. As much as she had tried to take it by the reins and make it her goal, her mission, something that was only started by him, it still felt like it was tainted by him. Her father was written all over her career as a tribute. Her father would be behind every move she made in the arena. She just hoped that that didn't make her slip up.

"And you listen to me, Sedna," he said, his voice changing. Before, it was the pride that made her feel uneasy. Now it was the voice he used when things weren't going the way he wanted them to. The voice that caused the roiling in his stomach when she wanted to say something against him. She looked up and saw that his eyes were clear, focused. It seemed he was just shy of going out to the stage and saying his piece in front of the entire district with the conviction he held. "You kill that Longstaff boy. Got me?"

That didn't make any sense. She frowned, tilting her head a little bit as her brows furrowed. "Carloman? What's wrong with him?" she asked.

She had assumed it would come down to that eventually. They wouldn't be partnered up for this Quell, although she didn't know if there would be any rules against district partners still being able to win together. But if her partner was worth a shit, she was sure the two of them would stick together. Still, her father had no reason to be so adamant about Carloman Longstaff's death. He didn't seem like a bad person—just really overwhelming, maybe.

"Ask him. Maybe he knows," he said, his nose wrinkled up in disgust at— at she didn't know what. Maybe the idea of her having to interact with him. But that was a given. He was obviously going to be a Career, having been chosen for this spot and being as trained as he was. Not to mention being the son of the first victor after the Games were reinstated following the second rebellion. So their interactions shouldn't have been something he was only just considering with this much frustration.

Her father stood up, walking past her and patting her on the shoulder as he left. She looked back at him, wanting to ask for more, for what was wrong with Carloman. What made him so despicable. But her mouth wouldn't open before her father was gone, leaving someone else to come in after him.

He hadn't even said goodbye.

yeehaw...

i just can't stare at this chapter anymore so here she is fellas! sedna is from Juud108! her voice was so much fun but i was sjdklfjsldkf soooo writer's blocked fellas

i just wanna say i appreciate all the reviews so far! it means the world to me and i'm having so much fun. here's to a million hearts that i can't type on ffn

let me know what you think of the chapter and here's the chapter question: what do you think is up with that shit to do with her dad? i mean i know but i wanna know what y'all think