To: Delphine
Hi! I'm in the cafeteria. Wanna have lunch with me?

I'm sitting in the corner, on the ground because every table is taken, my legs up to my chest while I'm chewing on the sandwich my mom made me this morning. I haven't spoken to Delphine and Scott since Saturday night and it makes me feel lonely. Delphine texted me on Sunday morning to tell me that Simon asked her to be his girlfriend. She said yes… and that surprised me immensely. She is not in love, she likes him, but she is not in love. That's what she told me earlier and I believe her, so I don't understand why she agreed to a serious relationship right now. It's not fair to him or to herself.

From: Delphine
Hi Cosima! I'm sorry but I'm having lunch with Simon. See you at Biology? X

I threw my phone in my leather backpack and let out an exasperated groan. I don't get to talk to her as much as I want, because she's constantly with her boyfriend and I don't feel comfortable talking to her in class. We can't exactly talk on the phone either, so our conversations turned into digital ones and they're a little short too, because there's no real interaction and I can't read her body language through texts. Texting is just not really my thing, so I only communicate through texts when it's absolutely necessary. I mainly use my phone for pictures and silly games.

I let my eyes wander around the cafeteria and spotted Delphine when she walked away from the counter and into Simon's direction. He's sitting with his friends, drinking coffee and eating something that looks like pizza. A huge grin formed on his face when Delphine positioned herself in his lap and kissed him in front of everyone. She's definitely not shy about expressing her feelings for him in public. Delphine ended the kiss after a few seconds, and locked her eyes on mine. I could feel my cheeks heat up, because now she knows I've been staring at them and watched them while they kissed. Delphine didn't seemed bothered by it and gave me a bright grin as she waved at me. A wave? What does that mean? Is she just saying hello? Or does she want to talk to me? I'm not sure.

I slowly rose to my feet, straightened the fabric of my long skirt and picked up my backpack from the floor before I walked into Delphine's direction. It's been a fairly hot summer this year and it's still not cold outside, something I'm happy about, because I can wear my skirts and dresses a little while longer before the temperatures will drop.

I was almost there, Delphine's table was only a few metres away from me, but I would never make it that far, because I suddenly tripped over someone's leg, crashed to the floor and landed on my chest first. The pain I felt knocked all the air out of my lungs and I gasped in horror when a cold breeze brushed over the back of my bare thighs. I couldn't move, completely frozen and in a state of shock, with my skirt down around my ankles, the fabric twisted around someone's foot. I slowly opened my eyes and saw Lizzie and her friends laughing at me, laughing so hard that tears rolled down their cheeks. Tears sprung into my own eyes as well when I looked at Justin, who tried to free his foot from my skirt and shook his head in amusement.

"Cosima wears white granny panties guys!" he hollered, standing up from his table, clapping his hands together to draw all the attention to me and himself, demanding recognition for his heroic act.

I slowly tilted my head up and locked eyes with my blonde friend. Simon's friends were laughing too, but Delphine and Simon himself looked at me with horror in their eyes, their faces had lost all color. I quickly screwed my eyes shut and a sob escaped my mouth. I wanted nothing more than to stand up, pull my skirt up, and smack Justin in the face, but my body was not cooperating at all. It was only a matter of seconds until two soft feminine hands pulled my skirt up over my butt and lifted me off the floor. I peeked through my eyelashes and saw mister Davis, the old fossil from History who gave me detention for not listening to his story, screaming at Justin, his saliva hitting the boy's face before he grabbed the teenager's arm and dragged him out of the cafeteria.

"NO!" I saw Lizzie screaming at the old man, her face growing red with anger. "This is disrespectful! You can't treat him like that!"

He ignored her and left the cafeteria, pushing Justin through the swing doors. I glanced over my shoulder and met Lucy's warm eyes. She gave me a soft smile and squeezed my upper arms before she escorted me out of the cafeteria as well.

"Are you in pain?" she asked, leading me into a nearby empty classroom. I could only nod and sat down in a chair while tears streamed down my cheeks.

"Where does it hurt Cosima?"

This is what I miss the most, hearing a soothing voice when I'm upset. I miss hearing my mom's the most, because I still remember what her's sounds like.

My chest, I signed as another sob erupted from my throat.

"You landed on your breastbone, am I right? I saw it happening."

"Y…yes," I hiccuped as my cries grew more hysterical.

"Can I look?"

I nodded and straightened up a bit, allowing Lucy to open my printed zip up hoodie. I closed my eyes again, thankful for the fact that I decided to put on a tank underneath when I was dressing myself this morning. I like Lucy a lot and I consider her my friend, but she's still my teacher. She doesn't have to see my bra when it's not necessary. A squeeze of my hand made me open my eyes and I immediately focused my gaze on her lips.

"There's already a big bruise forming Cosima," she said, offering me another smile. I looked down and saw that my skin had turned blue and yellowish. Fuck.

"I can get you an ice pack if you want."

No, it's fine.

"Cosima, this is not fine. This needs to stop sweetheart."

I don't know how. Justin hates me.

"I'm not good at sign language, can you please speak to me?"

I shook my head and kept signing, my hands flying through the air as I allowed my thoughts and emotions to come out.

Justin just has a hard time at home okay? His mom is an alcoholic and his dad left him, he's really sad and angry.

"Cosima… please stop signing."

It's so unfair to him and I guess he just hates me, maybe my looks reminds him of his mother. I don't know Lucy. He has anger issues and I totally get it, I continued, sobbing uncontrollably. Salty tears streamed down my face and landed on my top, soaking the fabric while my chest constricted painfully.

"Cos, calm down honey, you're on the brink of a panic attack."

I don't wanna come to school anymore Lucy. I wanna be homeschooled from now on. I'm gonna ask my dad to hire someone who can teach me and also speaks sign language, so I don't have to talk anymore.

"Cos… please, talk to me."

I hate myself Lucy. I hate myself for being deaf. People hate me for being deaf. I don't wanna speak anymore. I want the bullying to stop.

"Okay, that's it. I'm gonna call your mom."

White cotton, black cotton, white cotton, black cotton, white cotton, grey cotton … it's all I have. All the girls at my school wear thongs, even Delphine wears those sexy lacy ones. I've seen them when she stayed over last weekend. I've never really understood why girls would want to wear those things. I mean, it's not like someone other than yourself will see it and it can't be comfortable right? I truly don't understand, but apparently, white granny panties aren't socially accepted either when you're in high school. Granny panties… right… I don't wear those, my panties are simple and they don't show much skin, yes, I'll have to admit that, but they're not that big and unflattering.

I was still rummaging through my underwear drawer when my mother walked into my room, looking a lot calmer than an hour ago. She was completely distraught after Lucy had told her what had happened and my mom kept asking questions once we were in the car, but I refused to talk about it.

"Mom!" I shrieked, covering my naked body with a towel. My mother had encouraged me to take a shower after we came home, to calm myself down and relax a bit.

"Oh sorry sweetheart," she apologized, holding two cups of steaming hot tea in her hands. "Do you need privacy? I can come back later."

"No," I whispered, taking a deep breath before I put on a simple pair of white cotton panties. "Come in."

"How are you feeling Cos?"

"Better."

"Really?"

"Yes."

"That's good sweetheart. I've made you some tea," she smiled, sitting down on my bed.

"Thank you."

I shuffled towards the bed, picked up my bra from the pile of clothes and put it on, fastening the clasp behind my back before I pushed the straps over my shoulders. Delphine wears lacy bras and they look beautiful on her. It makes her look so grown up. Mine are all made out of cotton with a tiny bow between the cups, but without any prints. Very simple and nothing special.

"Cosima," my mom said, touching my wrist to get my attention. "That one doesn't fit anymore baby. It's too small."

"Yeah, I noticed that too. It's not only this one that doesn't fit anymore though."

"No?"

A huge smile formed on her face and her eyes lit up as she let out a deep sigh. I can tell she's relieved about this. She still thinks the treatment caused a lot more damage in my body than my doctors are telling us.

"No."

"Since when?"

"Two weeks?" I shrugged, putting on my favorite jeans. "Maybe we should go to the mall this Saturday to buy some new ones? You can pick me up at The Rabbit Hole after work?"

"Of course."

"Mom?"

"Yes?"

"Is it…" I started as I felt a blush creeping up my face. "Is it okay if I also buy a few thongs?"

I don't know why I'm feeling embarrassed. I can ask her everything, she doesn't judge and she's always reasonable. My mom is my best friend and she knows everything about me.

"Of course Cos, but only if you want them because you feel ready, not because of what Justin said when you tripped over his leg."

Okay… yeah… she knows me better than I know myself sometimes.

No, I'm not a kid anymore mom! I'm seventeen and I wanna wear those things.

"Okay sweetheart," she smiled, sipping her tea as I put on a sweater. "Then we'll buy you a few thongs this Saturday. No problem."

Don't tell dad.

"The only thing I'm gonna tell your father is what happened at school. What Justin did."

I sat down next to her and picked up my tea from my nightstand, blowing a puff of cold air over the hot liquid. We sat in silence for a few minutes, until my mother reached for my hand and squeezed it gently, asking for my attention once again.

"Why don't you go with Delphine?"

"Delphine?" I asked, raising my eyebrows at her.

"Yes. This is a nice thing to do with a friend Cos."

"I don't know. Delphine has a boyfriend now and she's spending a lot of time with him, but I'll ask her."

My mom pulled me against her and kissed the top of my head, rubbing my back with both hands.

"You know, dad and I were discussing this earlier. We wanna go on another trip during your Christmas break and we thought that maybe, you would like to invite Delphine to come along with us? So that you're not constantly by yourself at the swimming pool, like last year."

"Mom," I sighed, rolling my eyes. "Christmas is two months away."

"I know sweetheart, but we thought it might be nice for you to know, so you've got something to look forward to."

"Yeah, you're right. It's a cool idea. Where are we going?"

Please say Seychelles… I hope that Carmen will be there too, so that Delphine can see her and maybe get her number for me. She'll do it, she's confident enough. A swarm of butterflies erupted in my stomach at the image of Carmen in her pink bikini… oh my God. I never thought I would see her ever again.

"We don't know yet. We don't wanna go back to the Seychelles, we're thinking of something closer to home if Delphine will join us."

Damn.

"Okay, sounds cool."

My mom suddenly stood up from the bed and walked towards the door, opening it to answer my father, who had probably just come home from work.

Cosima, she signed with a big smile on her face. Delphine is downstairs. Dad asks if she can come up?

"Delphine?" I whispered, furrowing my brows, but my mom already left the room and the blonde French girl walked in a second later.

"Hey," I smiled, standing up as she ran towards me and pulled me into a tight embrace.

"Oh Cosima, I'm so sorry for what happened to you."

"It's okay," I shrugged, holding back another round of tears.

"What?" she huffed, sitting down on my bed. "Do you even realize what happened to you?"

"Yeah."

"Justin let you trip over his foot Cosima! On purpose! And it pulled your skirt down! You were in your panties on the floor, exposed to everyone in the cafeteria."

"Yeah, I was there, thank you," I groaned, biting my lip.

"It's not okay. How can you be so chill?"

"Because I don't know any better?" I laughed sarcastically.

"Merde Cosima."

"Let's not talk about it okay?"

"You always refuse to talk about the bullying you've to endure."

"Yes, and if you're my friend than you'll have to respect that."

Delphine screwed her eyes shut and took a deep breath before she opened them and gave me a warm smile.

"You're right," she said, touching my shoulder. "I'm sorry."

"Delphine?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you wanna go to the mall with me? This Saturday? I need new bras," I whispered, blushing furiously.

She gave me a sweet smile and squeezed my hand.

"Sure."

I'm not sure if I'm happy about this. I don't feel very confident about my own body. I'm still a little underweight and I don't have the same feminine curves as Delphine yet. It made me feel incredibly insecure when she dressed herself in front of me after a shower. She's so tall and she's got a nice round butt, round hips and full breasts. She looks like an adult already and I look like a fucking thirteen-year-old kid… still way too skinny, no ass and small boobs. I seriously hope I'll get another growth spurt very soon, because this is not cool.

"Cosima, Simon and I are invited to a party Saturday night and we thought that maybe… you would like to come with us?"

I sucked in a breath and my heart began to beat wildly. A party? Me? No way. I can't go to a party. I'm not gonna dance there, I mean… dancing with Delphine in my bedroom was great, but I'm not going to make a fool out of myself in front of all the others.

"A party?" I laughed. "No way Delphine. I'm not going to a party where I can bump into Lizzie and her followers. Thank you very much."

"Lizzie? No, Cosima, it's not a school party. It's hosted by Simon's best friend, Liam, from his basketball team. Lizzie and the others won't be there."

"Oh."

"It's at Liam's house. You can bring Scott if that makes you feel safer."

"Scott and I don't talk at the moment," I whispered, tears stinging my eyes. I really need to text him.

"What? How come?"

I told Delphine about the kiss, how I reacted and Scott's emotional outburst when I left the juice bar.

"Oh my… that's not good. You need to text him Cosima. You both feel bad about what happened and you miss your friend."

"Yeah."

"Was it a good kiss?"

"God, no!" I groaned, blushing once more. "It was gross."

"Gross?" she laughed, sticking her tongue between her teeth. "Because it was Scott or because he's a terrible kisser?"

"Both!"

"Allright, sorry," Delphine snickered, folding her hands around my neck, squeezing it affectionately. "You know Cosima, you deserve a good second kiss. A gentle one, slow and sensual. A kiss from a sweet girl."

She slowly licked her bottom lip and traced her thumb over mine, slow and sensual. My heart stopped beating for a moment, a wave of panic swirled through my chest and I quickly stood up from the bed, reaching for my phone.

"So, Saturday night?" I asked with a trembling voice, adding it to my planner.

"Y…yes. I'll pick you up in the afternoon around 3 to go to the mall okay?"

"Yes, sounds good."

Delphine stood up, gave me a hug and practically ran out of my bedroom, leaving me behind with a strange feeling in my stomach. What would have happened if I didn't stand up? She wouldn't have kissed me. She's straight, she has a boyfriend and she sees me as her friend… I see her as my friend. I think my brain is messing with me. Delphine is just being nice and trying to encourage me to come out of my shell. She sees me as her friend and she cares for me, it's all platonic… right?

I haven't slept a minute last night, partially because of what had occurred between Delphine and me Thursday afternoon, and because I was extremely nervous for my first day at work. I completely blacked out the first hour at The Rabbit Hole and refused to speak to anyone, including Peter, but I became more confident after helping three customers and I'm feeling so happy right now. I still don't talk a lot to strangers, but they totally understand when Peter tells them that I'm deaf. I never expected adults to be so understanding, it's so different from how the people at my school treat me, even the awkward teenagers that come here are nice to me.

"Cosima," Peter said, tapping me on the shoulder to get my attention. "I was thinking, maybe we should get you a name tag? One with your name on it… obviously … and a few words saying that you're deaf? So we don't have to tell people all the time if you can't read their lips, and it also means that I don't have to stay with you all morning."

"I ehm…" I started, my eyes widening with confusion.

"It's not because I don't want to help you, but being here alone will only make you more confident and independent."

"I ehm…"

"Just think about it okay? I can make you a name tag anytime Cos."

"Yeah, I'll think about it," I nodded, dumbfounded and a little shocked.

"Great! I'm in the back smoking pot. If you need me, just shout my name."

A name tag that also reveals my hearing problem? I don't know. Peter might be right, I don't think people will get irritated with me if they know I'm deaf, and I don't have to tell them myself if I wear that thing.

I glanced at the clock and realized it was 12.42 already. I'm almost done and Delphine will be at my house at 3, and that means that I have got a little time left to change into something more fashionable. I'm nervous about going to the mall with her. I'm scared to try on bras, ask her opinion and buy thongs. Do I have to invite her into the fitting room when I'm trying on all those different bras? She has already seen my skinny frame and minuscule boobs when I was wearing my bikini at the waterpark, but underwear seems so much more intimate. Is that a normal thing to do with a female friend?

Someone entered the comic book shop and pulled me back from my thoughts. I shot my head up and pushed my glasses further up the bridge of my nose, so I could see the customer a bit better. It's a girl… and I sucked in a breath as she walked towards me with big confident steps and a huge smile on her face. She reminds me of someone. I think I've seen her before, but can't put my finger on it.

"Hi!" she smiled, waving at me. She's around my age, big blue eyes and blonde hair. Way too pretty to be interested in games and comics. She must be here to buy a present for someone. I didn't dare to speak and gave her a small nod, rubbing the back of my neck awkwardly.

The girl came closer and unbuttoned her suede coat before she threw it onto the counter. It's a little strange, but I know that Peter has some really weird customers. She's wearing a tight fitting top and my eyes couldn't ignore her cleavage. I couldn't suppress the urge and peeked at her breasts, blushing a bit when I noticed that they were a lot bigger than Delphine's. Maybe she's a little older than us, but she's the same height as I am. Her cleavage is beautiful and I could have sworn that I've seen it before… and maybe I did…

Oh my fucking God… it's the girl in the turquoise bikini I spotted at the waterpark. The girl with the cute butt. What the fuck. What's she doing here?

"Lots of customers so far?"

I shook my head and blushed even harder. Come on Cosima, you'll have to talk.

"C..Can I h… help you?" I stuttered, averting my eyes from her. "The newest Garfield came in today."

The blonde girl stared at me before she burst out laughing.

"You're kidding me right?" she giggled, touching my forearm. "I work here."

"Oh," I gasped, feeling incredibly stupid. "You're the girl who works from 1 to 5?"

"Yeah, that's me."

"I'm sorry, I didn't know."

"That's okay," she winked, making me blush all over again. "You're Cosima right?"

"Yes.

"And you're the deaf girl?" she asked, touching her own ears.

"Yes," I whispered, swallowing thickly. I hope she doesn't judge me because of my hearing impairment.

"Allright, Peter told me that you can't hear and that you're very insecure about it."

"I ehm…"

For fuck's sake Peter…

"Don't be Cosima. I can tell that you're very smart and you speak very well."

"T… thank you."

"So? You've got any plans for the rest of the day or do you wanna keep me company while I sell those new editions of Garfield to our customers?" she chuckled, winking at me again. Is she flirting with me or just being nice? God, I'm so clueless when it comes to flirting. I've missed every sign with Scott and I'm convinced that I'm also misinterpreting Delphine's kindness for something else.

"You know Cosima," she continued, touching my wrist. "Peter always makes a lot of money on Saturdays and I'm sure it helps that there's a pretty girl standing behind the counter, instead of a weird old hippie. You should stay, because I'll bet that we can sell a lot together right? Two pretty girls behind the counter instead of one? That's gonna earn him a lot of money."

I let out a snort and rolled my eyes at the girl in front of me. I don't think no one other than my parents has ever called me beautiful. Who is this girl and where does she come from?

"You haven't told me your name yet," I said, surprising myself immensely when I automatically signed the words as well. This is new, it always takes me a while until I feel comfortable enough to sign, especially in the presence of other teens.

"Oh I'm so sorry. That's kinda rude isn't it?" she smiled, stretching out her hand. I took it and sucked in a breath when she curled her fingers around mine. Her hand is so soft and feminine, very elegant and… sexy? I glanced at her mouth and smiled as her name rolled of her lips. I opened my own mouth and repeated her name in a soft whisper.

"Shay."

Yup... I did it. I decided to include Shay into the story. I'm not sure what kind of role she's gonna have in this one (love interest or friend? Idk yet), but I'm not gonna rush Cosima's development now. She'll stay innocent and adorable for as long as possible *wink* Have a good Sunday guys and I hope you liked this chapter :)

To Guest: thank yo uso much for reviewing. Glad that you like this fic so far.

To EV: I know how you feel :( but I'm glad that my fics can heal that hole in your heart just a little bit. That's also a huge compliment btw, so thank you! It's good to know that you like my other fic as well. Thank you so much for your support. A review like this keeps me motivated!