Chapter 4
Disclaimer: Harry Potter and Merlin do not belong to me; the only thing I own is the plot.
Merlin sat in his room with his long legs crossed on the floor. He looked out the large window overlooking the grounds. He sighed and shifted his position so he was leaning against the protruding frame. Lost in memory he failed to notice when Professor McGonagall approached the doorframe. She sat for a long time, watching the young teacher gaze out the window with a tearful look. Staring at that lake Merlin was reminded of his only love that was taken before he even got the chance to know her. He thought of his old friends and sitting in that cavern with Arthur and laughing until their guts hurt.
McGonagall was about to call out to Merlin when she noticed a small tear roll down his face and a wistful smile grace his lips. McGonagall cleared her throat and winced a bit when Merlin jumped at the noise. He turned to face her and absently wiped his face and seemed surprised when he found it was wet.
"Are you alright Professor Emrys?" she asked, her motherly core shining through her stern exterior for a brief moment
"C-call me Ben, Minerva" he sniffed, his cheeks turning an embarrassed shade of red.
"I'm sorry for intruding, may I ask what's bothering you?" she probed kindly.
Merlin stood, "just remembering...old friends who I haven't seen in forever."
She nodded, "I have many close friends from school who I haven't talked to in a very long time."
Merlin nodded, his eyes becoming unfocused, "Arthur and I... God he was a prat, but he was like a brother to me...my family."
McGonagall smiled a bit at this. She was reminded a bit of Remus's confessions to her when Sirius's innocence was proved. "I'm sorry you lost contact, have you considered stopping by his house and trying to reacquaint yourselves?"
Merlin shook his head sadly, "Arthur...he died a long time ago."
McGonagall felt a dull pang of shock, "I-I'm so sorry...I didn't think..."
Merlin smiled at the old woman, "It's alright Minerva, it was a very long time ago and I think we've all lost friends at some point in this war. Now if I may excuse myself I need to teach my next class." She nodded stiffly and walked from the room.
"One thousand years Arthur...how long am I gonna have to wait?" Merlin muttered with a small smile, thinking of the horse rides, early morning awakenings, unmatched sword fights, and every other moment he had spent with Arthur.
Draco Malfoy walked down the halls, his hands shoved deep in his robe pockets. A permanent scowl distorted his handsome features. He looked around the deserted corridor and, once he confirmed that it was empty, felt his face relax into an expression of loneliness and apathy. Looking back, the Slytherin could pinpoint exactly where everything in his life had gone wrong.
Meeting Harry bloody Potter.
Granted he probably hadn't made the best impression on his nemesis, but nothing he had said in their first meeting had been out of character. He had come across as a prejudiced and immature child.
Which he was.
What most people didn't realize about Draco Malfoy was that he was a lot more perceptive than his peers gave him credit for. He realized that the course his father had created for him wasn't the best option; be it morally or physically. He knew that his father was trying to convince Voldemort to recruit him. Merlin knows the man could use an unsuspecting spy inside the castle but he had doubts. Although his pureblood prejudices had followed him through his five years at Hogwarts, he had also acquired sharp shreds of doubt. When he looked at Harry he saw a boy weighed down by the weight of the world, but he also saw a desperate need for acceptance and family. When he looked at Harry Potter, he saw himself reflected back at him.
Letting out a deep sigh, he leaned against the windowsill and felt the cool mist caress his face. It was only in moments like these, where no one was near to witness his weakness, that he really let the weariness and fear surface. He hung his head in defeat and surrendered to the thoughts of doubt and regret that had plagued him for the past few months.
It all came back to Harry Potter.
When the boy wonder had apparated back into the open clutching the body of that Hufflepuff Diggory did it all become real. Draco finally realized that the war he had barely missed had been real, and that the people that had died during that war had been real people with real families who had lost their lives.
All his life he had believed he was sheltered from suffering and pain. He had been born into an extremely privileged family with parents who cared enough about him. But it plagued him with guilt every time he looked back at his quips on Potter's dead parents or Longbottom's broken family that he thought were so clever at the time. What kind of person made fun of someone's dead parents?
Maybe he was cut out to be a death eater after all.
"Mr. Malfoy?" called a voice quietly, yanking the young heir from his thoughts. Immediately he plastered a scowl back onto his pale face, replacing a look of loneliness and sadness that would have seemed very out of place on his face to most.
He grudgingly looked up to see the new defence teacher, giving him a curious look as he leaned against the ancient stonewall a few feet away from Draco. He stared at the strange man for a few moments before moving his eyes back to stare at the school grounds.
"What sir" he answered, practically spitting out the last word, although it didn't have the venomous undertones that his words normally held.
Merlin looked the boy up and down knitting his eyebrows in a mixture of worry and confusion, "I've heard some...troubling rumors about you." Draco glanced at the Professor before returning his eyes to the window.
"And?" he muttered.
"Is it true you've been calling other students Mudbloods?" Merlin questioned, his expression hardening into an anger that didn't quite reach his eyes.
"So what if it is?" Draco snarled, turning to face Merlin.
Merlin's posture stiffened, making him look quite intimidating, "I'm not sure you understand the severity of that word Mr. Malfoy."
"So what if I do? Who cares?" Draco asked, his face softening a bit as he broke eye contact with the professor to gaze out the window once again.
Merlin sighed seeing the saddening expression on the young man's face, "please come with me Mr. Malfoy" and seeing the boy's reluctance to follow, he added, "you're not in trouble, I just want to talk to you."
Merlin led the way to his office and once the two were safely inside he closed the heavy wooden door behind him.
"Mr. Malfoy, how old were you when you first heard that word?" he asked, taking a seat in the black cushioned chair behind the heavy oak desk.
"When I was five" Draco answered carefully, studying the young professor's expression. He felt a bit of surprise when it morphed into one of frustration and disappointment, but he saw no trace of anger.
"That's...very disheartening Mr. Malfoy" he finally said, visibly deflating.
"Why?" Draco blurted out feeling a pang of anger.
"I'm sure you understand that no child is born with hate in their hearts" Merlin said quietly, moving his gaze to meet the Slytherin's. Draco stared at him for a moment before nodding slowly. He didn't know what it was, but something angered and unnerved him about the young professor. How dare this man question his family?
"I guess it's hard to blame you for your prejudice when that's all you know" Merlin admitted, looking much older then his face actually was. Draco looked ready to start yelling at the professor, but took a deep breath to calm his emotions.
"I..." Draco started before trailing off, not sure what to say. He expected a reprimand and lecture, not sympathy and understanding. Merlin looked at him expectantly while Draco struggled to continue his thought.
"I don't need your sympathy," he finally decided on, giving the professor a glare.
"I know you don't, you're a strong kid" Merlin said quietly, "but how much of your actions are actually yours? How much of what you do is simply because of your parents hatred?"
Draco felt a wave of anger wash over him, how dare this man continue to question his family! He swallowed his reply when Merlin raised a hand.
"I understand that your parent's hatred was passed down to them just as it was to you, but does that make it right? By understanding the past you can understand the future and unless you try to break the cycle, life will simply repeat itself over and over again" said Merlin, with a wisdom beyond his years, "I would like you to think about what we've discussed here today and consider this your detention" smiled Merlin with a mischievous wink.
Draco stood up and walked from the room, unable to organize the thoughts swirling around his head. All Merlin had done was confirm worries that he already had and Draco had no idea what to do with that.
Merlin sighed once the platinum haired boy was out of sight. How much of the hatred towards magic had stemmed from Uther. How would the world have changed if he hadn't placed those seeds of hatred in non-magical folk? Maybe if the wizarding world hadn't been forced to hide itself then this power complex wouldn't exist.
Although wizards were more powerful, every other species in the world was more logical, kind, and accepting.
Those were traits Merlin valued much more than power.
Stretching, Merlin stood up from his desk and walked from the small office. Only realized how late it had become when he saw the moonlight shining through a window. Yawning, he started in the direction of his quarters. He stopped suddenly when he saw two students wandering around the halls, long after curfew.
The boy, Harry and his flaming haired friend were sneaking down the hall, their arms full of food.
"Shut up Ron!" Harry muttered in an attempt to quell his friend's chattering.
"It's not like anyone can bloody hear us Harry, this hallway's always empty. Always" Ron answered, rolling his eyes.
"Oh Mr. Weasley, nothing's always empty" Merlin said, a mischievous smile blooming on his face. He was forced to hold back laughter as Ron jumped so high he dropped most of his food on the floor.
"Professor!" exclaimed Harry, looking like a child who was caught stealing cookies (which he was).
"Out of bed I see?" Merlin muttered, clicking his tongue in mock disappointment, "what will we do with you two troublemakers?"
The two boys exchanged worried looks before looking at their professor again, "we're really sorry sir, but we've been studying for hours and we just wanted something to help keep us going" Harry said all this in one breath, still worried about what the new teacher might think of rule breaking.
Merlin laughed, "that's okay boys, would you like to come into my office? I may have some books that could help you." Ron and Harry looked at each other before nodding reluctantly. Merlin smiled and ignored his fatigue, heading back the way he had come.
Harry didn't feel any surprise as he walked into the young teacher's office. It was covered from ceiling to floor with books. It seemed much more homely than many of the times he had seen it, although that may be due to the raging fire in the fireplace.
"Now then, what subjects do you seem to be struggling with the most?" Merlin asked glancing absently at the many hundreds of books in the room.
"Potions probably..." muttered Ron, "the bloody teachers got it out for us."
Harry elbowed Ron sharply and made a quick shushing movement, but not before Merlin turned to face the two boys.
"Although Severus and I are not particularly friends, he does know his potions," muttered Merlin shaking his head.
"Well, let's see. What always helped me was learning a bit about the back story on the people who invented the potions...let me see here." He scanned the shelves before pulling a newer one. Upon further investigation the two boys were able to see it was a copy of the fifth year potions textbook.
"Which one do you struggle with the most?" Merlin asked, fingering through the pages of the book.
"Probably Draught of Peace...Snape practically failed me for misreading instructions" muttered Harry bitterly. Merlin clicked his tongue and shook his head disapprovingly, "Professor Snape Mr. Potter" he turned back and gave Harry a small smile to show he wasn't actually mad.
"I've heard quite a few things about Severus, and I think we may be having some words with each other soon" Merlin said absentmindedly, not noticing Harry and Ron exchange surprised looks.
"Well let's see...this particular potion was created by Matilda Peterson" Merlin muttered before his eyes lit up and face was filled with excitement.
"Of course! I knew Matilda, wonderful witch. You see, she was a seventh year student who like many, had a difficult in many of her NEWT classes. Matilda was more of a healer type. She watched her peers have panic attacks, and having many too, she decided to try to help it. She spent many nights up trying to perfect that darn potion. Having an extensive knowledge of Herbology, much like your friend Neville, she was aware of the effects that the ingredients she was using and how they influenced different parts of the human body. The method she used to create this was much like a muggle Doctor. After many months she managed to get the potion to work. Although it wasn't near perfect it did the trick, and they still tend to hand a bit of it out to stressed students during testing season I think" Merlin finished his story with a thoughtful look.
"That...was actually pretty interesting Sir" said Ron awestruck.
Merlin laughed, "don't sound so surprised. What I wanted you two to take from that was that not everyone would excel in every subject. Hard Work is extremely important but when you get to NEWT level classes you can't expect to excel in every subject. Mr. Potter I've heard that you are quite the Quidditch prodigy and that Mr. Weasley has quite the knack for strategy. You have to learn how to incorporate your strengths into your weaknesses. Matilda was not a potions prodigy, but she did understand Herbology and the human body and she ended up passing a NEWT level potions class with the second highest grade in her year."
Ron and Harry glanced at each other, both smiling brightly. Harry was reminded of a certain werewolf and Ron couldn't help but laugh.
"That sounds very Slytherin of you professor" he commented with a playful smile.
Merlin smiled at the two boys and shook his head, "thank you Mr. Weasley. Now I think the two of you should get back to your common room before someone finds you in my office this late at night."
Ron and Harry stood and left the room quietly chattering quietly and Merlin sighed to himself. If even the teachers were supporting the rivalry, it would be a lot harder to destroy then he thought.
I'm so glad everyone has enjoyed the feedback so far! This is the longest chapter yet and I'm actually very proud of it. For anyone that was confused Merlin has attended Hogwarts many times over the years, he tends to go back when he hears about a powerful wizard or tensions are running thin in the wizarding world (as they are right now). He can change his physical appearance with a sort of glamour so that's why no one recognized him. I'll see you all next week please continue to enjoy my story!