A/N-Quick Recap since I've let this one go too long… I am going to finish this short story up soon. This is the one where Kate calls Castle after she's shot while she's recovering in a cabin. She's still recuperating while battling PTSD and concerns about her upcoming follow-ups with her cardiologist and surgeon, but their relationship has intensified and Castle's there for her. He has convinced her to come back to NYC and stay at his apartment.

Again, I apologize for the wait.

Post Season 3 AU

The Conspiracy: Chapter 5

Castle managed to stay up and monitor Beckett's condition until after 4AM. Things that had made sense in the heat of the moment now felt foolish and dangerous, and he couldn't stop watching her to make sure she was okay. He'd wanted her so badly, wanted them to surrender to their passions, but then he sat in the quiet of night with his guilt as he'd allowed those desires to win out. He felt he should have been the responsible one this time, for some reason, and that he'd failed her.

As hard as he fought, exhaustion finally consumed him, and he fell asleep beside her.

Kate heard something, something far away but at the same time near and familiar. It was Castle, his voice nearing a state of panic, and she suddenly was certain she was approaching death's door once again. Her mind struggled to reconcile what was happening. Had she just been shot? As memories of recent days at the cabin emerged, she knew she'd survived that shooting. Perhaps the sniper had returned to finish the job, and she'd been shot again? Maybe one of those rare complications she'd been warned about had arisen, and in spite of the many times she'd fought and survived, her own body might take her out.

In any event, Castle sounded terrified and sorrowful, and that filled her with a sense of dread.

She heard his nervousness escalate until he was yelling into the phone. Words like hospital, heart attack, blood clot swirled around. She wanted to ease his worry, tell him everything would be okay, but she couldn't…or could she? Was anything truly stopping her from waking up?

Her eyes fluttered open and she saw him kneeling beside her, eyes pinched shut, holding her hand and whispering, "Hold on, Kate. Help is coming. Don't you leave me, please, Kate," like an ardent prayer. His next words were less soft and soothing, as he yelled angrily, "I'll pay for a damn helicopter. Get here now, something's not right and—"

"Castle?" Kate questioned, realizing that she wasn't in some near-dead state, and she could speak and move.

He whipped his head to look at her, asking, "Kate?" through his apparent anguish.

"Who's on the phone?"

"Hospital…I thought you…you…are you okay?"

"I'm fine," she assured. "So tell the operator there's no emergency before they send out Search and Rescue."

"Are you completely certain you're okay?"

She extracted the phone from his hand. Kate identified herself to the operator, explaining that she'd been sleeping, she was fine, her companion had simply overreacted. She hung up and in a second, his arms were around her, holding her like she had risen from the great beyond.

"What is going on?" she asked, perplexed by the extent and direction of his response.

"Something was really wrong. I was sure you were having a heart attack or—"

"Castle, I feel fine. What makes you think I was having a heart attack?"

"I tried to stay awake," he insisted remorsefully, "but I dozed off. When I woke up, you were groaning, holding your left arm…I've heard sometimes the only symptom of a heart attack is shoulder pain."

"Castle, my body's still healing, that's all. I'm fine. There was no heart attack. Nothing was wrong."

"You didn't wake up."

"Yea, well, you wore me out last night. I was tired. Really tired."

"It was more than that. A near death experience. Did you see a light? Loved ones?"

"You believe in near death experiences, too? Of course you do," she scoffed.

"What did you see?"

"I saw a guy, you…completely overreacting," she impishly teased. "There was no near death experience. No tunnels or lights or floating above my body. I promise."

Feeling a little bad for the scare he'd had, she reached up and held his cheek. "I really am fine." His eyes stayed down, he still looked so concerned. "Maybe you felt a little guilty about what happened last night? You were afraid we crossed lines. That something bad might happen because we weren't careful. Everything's fine…but even if it wasn't…it would not be your fault. I instigated everything. It was my choice."

"You completely bewitched me, had me under your seductive spell. I was powerless to resist," he teased, but he still looked so worried. He took her hand in his and gently kissed her fingers. "But if something happened, that wouldn't make me feel any better. Are you sure, absolutely sure, you're okay?"

"Yes," she assured.

"You think I'm crazy," he sullenly replied.

"No. I think you're sweet," she more soberly responded. "I confess…for a few seconds while I was waking up, I wasn't sure if something really had happened. And it made me realize how risky last night was. I'm sorry I scared you. We'll keep things PG-rated. You can't sit up monitoring me for the next three nights."

"But you're still coming back with me today? Right?"

His eyes were so sad, so concerned, that she felt it through her chest.

"It really was hard for you…when I was shot. Going through all that."

"Worst day of my life," he nodded. "When I thought I lost you."

"I'm sorry."

"Wasn't your fault. But if you truly want to make me feel better, you'll come back with me, stay as my guest in my apartment, at least until we get you checked out."

"If we're trying to cool things off, being in the same apartment might not help."

"I am extraordinarily hard to resist."

She agreed to stay at his place, but in the guest room. After his lack of sleep and a night of intense concern about her health, they both made promises to table their physical interactions for the time being. At the same time, they worried that with everything going on, they weren't ready to navigate the details of their romantic relationship with anyone else. Hell, they weren't even exactly certain what, if any, labels applied just yet or where things were headed.

Secrecy was for the best, he had to admit. He already imagined his mother's enthusiasm for a relationship between the pair, and wondered how Alexis would take the news. It was too much to deal with when there were more urgent issues.

For the moment, Kate would be with him, safely stowed in his apartment instead of a lengthy drive away. Before they left, he clandestinely sent an email to the private security company he'd researched and hired. A professional swept his building earlier in the day for security concerns. There would be a guard outside of the apartment, and one in the lobby round the clock. He also hired people to keep eyes on Alexis and Martha, just in case. He couldn't risk any of them, couldn't bear such loss. He kept that tidbit of information from Beckett, however.

He'd made the drive back and forth from the city to the cabin and back several times in the last few weeks, but this time, she was with him. (And, for once, she actually didn't snatch the keys and insist on driving). He reached over at one point, hooked his finger under hers and brought her hand toward the center console. She didn't resist the touch, in fact she almost immediately laced her fingers through his. "Thank you for humoring me and coming back," he stated with heartfelt gratitude. She didn't reply, but allowed the interlocking of their fingers to deepen.

The pair had spent immeasurable hours side by side, in cars, at the precinct, walking down the street, having dinner after a long day, and in some ways, this ride was no different. In other ways, everything had changed. Although she was silent, withdrawn from the world at large, she didn't feel removed from him. He noticed the way she gently rubbed his finger with her thumb. She was letting him in, letting her guard drop. There had been a fear in him that once they left the cabin she'd pull away, but so far, things were going well.

He felt the tension in her bloom as the traffic thickened and buildings rose along the horizon, signaling they were almost home.

Kate felt strange walking back into Castle's apartment again. It seemed like she'd been gone for centuries. Martha was immediately before her, approaching like a red-tendrilled, tornadic welcome wagon, complimenting and fawning and instantly wrapping Kate in a hug that was entirely overwhelming. Castle tried to rein in Martha's enthusiasm, warning his mother that Kate was still healing, but there was no doubt that Martha was excited her son's partner was back in town.

Kate wondered if Martha really was looking them over suspiciously, or if it was only her imagination.

Castle carried Beckett's bag up the steps for her even as she protested the assistance. He placed her things on the bed, headed toward the door, and paused there. "I'm glad you're here," he commented as he leaned against the jamb.

"Thanks," she chuckled softly.

"I'm sorry about Mother. I'll talk to her—"

"It's okay. She's sweet."

"If you need to talk…or—"

"There is something I need," she said, trying desperately to change the subject. She couldn't handle a discussion about her feelings or worries right now. It felt like the whole world was pressing down against her now that she was back, and she had so much to lose.

She approached and looked out in the hallway to make sure Martha wasn't there. When she confirmed the hall was clear, she grabbed Castle's shirt and pulled him into the room behind the door. Her lips crashed to his, her fingers hooking his belt loops and dragging him toward her as she braced her back against the wall.

Kate was far more prepared to deal with those types of feelings for the time being. Castle put up a good, strong attempt to keep things cool…for about 4 seconds. Then his hands were on her, one firmly holding her face to deepen the kiss, one sliding down her back. As soon as she whispered a moan, he was lost in her. A sound from down in the kitchen made them pause. His forehead on hers, she saw that fiery, hot look in his eyes, the playfulness gone and replaced by carnal desire. He shook his head, "Is this your idea of cooling things off?"

"I'll be good, I told you. It was just a kiss. I'm not allowed to kiss you?" her voice had that balance of innocence and seduction.

He shook his head, like he could clear the arousal from his etch-a-sketch brain.

"What?" she giggled.

"You're not going to make this easy for me."

"Of course not. When have you ever wanted it easy?" she teased.

He chuckled, but more serious matters came to the forefront. "I just can't believe this is happening. For a little while…I dunno."

"What?" she insisted.

"I thought you might not come back. Thought maybe you were gone forever."

"You and me…we have ups and downs, but…we always seem to find our way back."

They heard Alexis come home, and Kate patted his chest. "Go see her. I'll be down in a minute."

"Sure," he eagerly grinned. "Get settled, just make yourself at home. If you need anything, just let me know."

Kate could sense how much joy it seemed to give him that they were all in his apartment, and it was rather sweet that he wanted her there, that he felt like she belonged as close as family. She looked through her bag, got out a change of clothing for later after a nice, hot shower, but she wasn't ready to unpack. She shoved her bag in the closet, still packed and ready to go at a moment's notice. She wasn't entirely sure why she felt it was necessary. She didn't have any regrets about Castle, or about where things might be heading with him, but she was already prepared to make fight-or-flight decisions. She knew perfectly well she was going to have to discuss it with her shrink, Dr. Miura, but it made her feel safer knowing she could be on the run in moments.

Pausing in the bathroom to wash up before joining everyone else, Kate heard the discussion downstairs, a family catching up after a few days apart. Those sounds were foreign to her, so different from her quiet little apartment. When she finally went downstairs, Martha seemed so excited that it was as if she hadn't seen her a few moments ago when they'd first arrived.

Alexis, on the other hand, was not as enthusiastic. She welcomed Kate politely, and the two shared all the necessary pleasantries. The teen wasn't really unwelcoming, but there was something that didn't feel quite right. After all, Alexis had once seemed to admire the detective, tried even to impress her. Now there was evidence of a chill.

Still the family sat around the table for dinner, and even if Kate hadn't wanted to, she would have had fun. Martha had a knack for storytelling (Kate wondered if that fed young "Ricky" as a budding writer, and Alexis and Martha had plenty of humorous stories about Castle that they were eager to share.

As dinner slowed but the conversation did not, Kate felt Castle's lower leg move under hers, his hand eventually finding its way to the edge of her chair. It wasn't seductive, it was caring, simply an attempt to be nearer to her. As casually as possible, she dropped her hand on the chair as well, as if she were bracing her weight.

He seemed pleased that she moved there, her hand by his, and he took it, secretively holding her beneath the table cloth. Their legs pressed only slightly, but it felt so good, so reassuring that although they were keeping things quiet, the flame was still flickering between them, and he, too, seemed to have no regrets.

Kate's phone rang as "dinner" was nearing its third hour. Her side was sore, but for such a pleasant reason: laughter. "It's my doctor. I need to take this."

"Use my office, if you'd like," Castle offered, a twinkle in his eye practically announced his amorous feelings, and she thought she felt his eyes follow her as she left. Kate was certain Martha had not failed to notice the tension smoldering between the partners.

Beckett retreated to the office, confirmed the appointment, and listened as the physician's assistant discussed upcoming tests and requirements. All routine. And terrifying. She wished she could just dive in and get the tests over and done with so she could move on.

After just a few moments, she went to rejoin the others, and heard Alexis speaking rather unhappily. Kate couldn't understand every word, but she heard Alexis clearly say, "I'm worried. I don't want you to get hurt, Dad."

It saddened Kate as she listened, but she knew she'd feel the same if her father were running around with someone like her, someone who could put him in harm's way. That part she understood.

When they realized Kate had returned, Alexis excused herself and went to her room. Castle took Kate back to the office, set up a movie and said, "My couch is far too comfy to thoroughly reenact our cabin memories, but I thought we could curl up here, unwind with a movie or two. Your turn to choose."

"You know what, Castle, I'm not feeling so hot. Not sick, I'm just really tired. Is it okay if I head up to bed?"

"Are you sure?" he asked. He stepped into her personal space and offered in his hushed tone, "Maybe you could wait an hour…come down and check on me, hang out in my room for a little while, go back to your room before morning. No one's the wiser."

"I think sneaking into your room tonight is probably not the best way to keep us both on good behavior," she tried to joke, in spite of her underlying sadness. "Besides, you were up really late last night, and I know you could use some sleep. It's best if we both go to our own beds and rest for now. Don't you think?"

"Sure," he nodded. "We can talk tomorrow."

Sleep didn't come for Kate, though. She fretted and worried, and couldn't stop hearing Alexis' words. Kate's concerns that she was a danger to those she cared for intensified. She wondered if she should grab her bag and leave during the night to protect them. She knew if she did that, Castle would be safe, but quite hurt.

Unable to sleep, she decided to go downstairs to make some tea and try to calm her racing thoughts.

After a few moments in the kitchen, she heard someone on the stairs, and found Alexis watching her.

"Sorry. Did I wake you?" Kate asked.

"I thought you were my Dad. I wanted to talk to him. I guess I'll wait until morning."

Alexis turned and began to ascend the stairs, and Kate asked, "Want a cup of tea? I know it's not the same as your dad, but you can talk to me if you want."

The teen took some time to consider, and without a verbal answer came down the stairs. The silence was awkward, and the few words that were spoken were even more uncomfortable. As if ripping off the figurative band aid, Kate abruptly said, "Look, Alexis, I heard what you said. And you are right, being around me is dangerous. I'm pretty close with my Dad, so I understand a little. If he was out with someone who got into these kinds of situations, someone always leading him towards danger instead of away from it, I'd be concerned, too. I know you're just trying to protect your Dad…you don't want him to get hurt or killed. Trust me, the last thing I want is for anything bad to happen to him."

"You think I'm trying to protect him from getting shot?"

"That sniper could have hit him…or you, or your grandmother. Not only did I risk his life, but yours as well. I really wish that wasn't the case. I'm putting you all in danger."

"I've had a few years now to accept my Dad's interest in all this…in cases and police work and Nikki and, well, you…I've gotten used to the fact that there's a certain amount of danger in his life every day."

"Does anyone ever really get used that?"

"It's a risk. A calculated one, but a risk just as much. But I'm not naïve, Detective Beckett. I could get shot at school, or mugged on the street. He could get caught in the middle of a road rage incident, flirting with the wrong woman, or just end up in the wrong place at the wrong time. I accept these things. I am afraid of my Dad getting hurt. But snipers and murderers aren't my biggest concern."

"Then what is?"

"You," Alexis chuckled disappointedly. "You really don't see it? You mean so much to him. I've never seen him this way…spending so much time and effort on a woman he clearly will never have a chance with because she's too clueless or maybe just too stubborn to realize what she could have. I know he can be immature, and kind of ridiculous. But he's so much more than that. He's caring and loyal. He'd do anything for the people he loves, absolutely anything. You just don't seem to notice the obvious truth."

"You're afraid I'll hurt him?" Kate replied, stunned.

"Yes. I don't want to see him get his heart broken."

"I don't want to hurt him. Not now, not ever," Kate insisted. "The opposite."

"If you have feelings for him, feelings that you're willing to accept, then great. If not, you need to let him go, let him move on with his life. I just need to know that you aren't toying with his emotions, stringing him along. He's a good man."

"I know that. Believe me, I do. Look...I don't have all of the answers, but what I can tell you, what I can promise you, is that I know the kind of man he is. He's been there for me like no one else has ever been. I hope he feels like he can count on me, too. And you have my word...I don't want to cause him any pain."

"I guess that's enough. For now."

"But I'm still waiting for my test results, I'm still trying to get better in a lot of ways. I don't want him to feel like he's obligated to take care of me while I get back on my feet."

"When it comes to people we care about, being there for them during the bad times is just part of the deal. If something happened to him, would you be there for him?"

"Of course."

"Exactly. True friends...family...are there through good and bad. I don't think he would see it any other way."

Alexis seemed momentarily satisfied, and in some ways Kate felt a wave of relief knowing why the girl had appeared so hesitant with her. On the other hand, the conversation made Kate all the more aware of how emotionally invested Castle probably already was, and that carried a weight all its own.

The tea kettle whistled as Kate said, "Just the same, maybe we should all consider some safety precautions for you and Martha."

"Dad took care of that. He has security on all of us right now anyway, some ex-Special Forces guys," Alexis flippantly replied, "same ones he hired to look after you."

"After me?"

Alexis winced, realizing that probably wasn't common knowledge. "Even you admitted things are dangerous. After what happened, don't be too mad at him for trying to protect you."

"Yea," Beckett absently responded.

Castle woke during the night with a sickening feeling. He worried that Kate would pull away, he worried that Alexis was still annoyed with him, and he had no idea what sort of fallout awaited him in the morning.

He grabbed his robe and went to the living room, and thought he heard voices from his office. Perhaps Kate had decided to come downstairs and watch a movie after all. But as he followed the sounds, he realized it was Kate and Alexis speaking, and felt a pang of worry about their conversation.

The last thing he expected to hear was laughter.

Kate and Alexis were hovering over old photo albums and Alexis had her computer open to display some home movies.

As he quietly watched the two, he saw Kate, face full of laughter, "That…is your father?"

Alexis bobbed her head 'yes' as she snickered.

Kate had one of the family's blankets draped over her shoulders, and Alexis was wrapped in her robe, quite a cozy domestic scene. Beside the computer, he saw bowls that must have contained snacks at one point, and a kettle of tea between two mugs. This secret meeting must have been going on for some time. His heart thudded with happiness as he observed.

"What's going on out here, you two?" he asked.

Beckett turned and chuckled, "I can't believe that was you."

"What was me?"

"We were just looking through old pictures and stuff, Dad," Alexis explained. "Some things are better seen than explained."

"My daughter, up in the middle of the night, not studying?" he considered. Pointing, he accused, "I don't buy it. Who are you and what have you done with Alexis?"

"Oh, it is late," she said, standing, gathering a few dishes and saying, "I need to get to bed."

"I'll get those," Castle offered, nodding toward the dishes.

"'Night, Daddy," she said, kissing him on the cheek. "G'night, Detective Beckett. Thanks for the talk."

"That seemed fun. What happened?" he asked Kate once Alexis was gone and he took the vacated spot on the sofa.

"Girl talk," Kate replied.

"Something certainly changed."

"I thought she was afraid for your safety…worried that you'd be shot. And she is, a bit. But there's more to it, something else that was bothering her. I was really starting to think I should back away...to protect you."

"You still feel that way?" he asked, swallowing bile.

"A little, maybe, but I'm not going anywhere. Alexis helped me see a few things. She loves her father. I guess…" the pause felt eternal while Beckett considered her words, "...I guess she just needed to know that I do, too."

"That you…" he nodded and waited, clearly hoping Kate would elaborate. He was fairly certain that was as close to a confession of love that he'd ever gotten from her.

"She was afraid I was leading you on…stringing you along, scared I'd break your heart."

"And you convinced her otherwise?"

Kate nodded, staring into his eyes. "I didn't get into specifics, but she probably knows how I feel about you. I'm sorry. I know we're trying to keep things quiet."

"Of course… I'm not upset. She can be very persistent. It's just…"

"Just?"

"Well... I'm not even sure I know how you feel about me," he commented, leaning closer, silently urging a response.

He didn't want to force the words, but still so desperately wanted to hear her say she loved him.

"You know how I feel," she nodded, looking out of the office to be sure they weren't being watched. She kissed him so softly, so tenderly, not attempting to arouse anything but his heart. "You know...how I feel," she insisted.

He sighed, happily although still longingly, nodding his head. "Can you do me a favor?"

"Hmm?" she queried, awaiting the request.

"Don't ever assume things would be safer or better for me if you're gone. If we're going to pursue the personal side of our partnership, we need to be partners, jump into life, into figuring things out together."

She smiled, not quite the adamant profession of assent that he wanted, but a tacit agreement.

Flipping the album open and tapping a page, she said, "Tell me about this one."

He grinned and fawned at the photo, "My baby's first Halloween!"

Kate drifted off while leaning on him as he thumbed through the old photos and shared stories. He loved how natural and familiar it was beginning to feel to have her falling asleep against him.

He pulled the blanket around them, convinced he'd wake before Martha caught them like that in the morning.